Angel in the Snow
by Mirabile Visu
Summary: Begins at the end of the game. The main story line revolves around the new global conflict, Rinoa's struggles with her new abilities and inner conflict in allowing Squall to become her knight, Squall's purpose in his new position, the sudden reappearance of the past, and Seifer's return to the group. Allegiances are questioned, and the lure of power intoxicates the possessed.
1. Exposition

**Angel in the Snow**

He heard a static, buzzing sound, a low hum in the distance.  
Dark clouds enveloped the air thick with fog.  
Dust drifted from the barren rock under foot.  
Grey green skies, clouds of ash above, cracked dead earth below.

Squall looked around.

... _What is this place?_

The horizon stretched on, an endless barren desert, free of any recognizable form, shape or depth. The sky rippled, blanketed in the treacherous tides of time. The air was thick, it was hard to breathe. He tasted metal and acid.

Squall blinked, his eyes stinging.

There's nothing…

His breath sat heavy in his chest.

 _No one._

...I'm alone...

He decided to walk, with no particular direction to follow. Action was the key to survival, and he had very little options. The soles of his feet ached and his arms were sore from battle, but he knew he had to carry on.

 _One step after the other..._

He could not recall how much time had past the next time he realized himself. Squall stumbled.

 _Awake._

Behind him, the dusty skies loomed heavily as far as he could see. The air was now thin, reminding him of climbing the tall mountains of Centra. But a question remained unanswered.

… _How far have I gone?_

The ache that stretched down his legs and the weight of his eyelids suggested he'd been walking for a decent distance. He shifted the gear on his hips, the extra weight evident. The gunblade that always remained at his side now hung heavily on his hip.

 _How long has it been?_

He had no way of judging how far he'd gone. The horizon was as far off in the distance as it had always been. Grey fog, corpse grey earth, and always the quiet crackling in the air.

 _Just keep moving..._

He awoke again. His steps were heavy, his breath shallow and slow.

 _Awake._

Squall looked ahead - and there, a few meters before him, was the end of the precipice. Like a drink of water quinching his thirst, the sight was a tantalizing prospect. He closed his eyes, and breathed in with delight. He opened his eyes, determined.

 _I'm going to make it…_

The relief of finally being free of this place grew closer. It didn't matter how long it had been. He was glad to see it. In a place of nothingness, his only hope rested before him.

 _I'm going home..._

His steps were heavy by the time he reached the edge. Every move took substantial effort, but he refused to give up.

Squall came upon the edge with a deep breath out. He looked down at his boots.

Where the ground ceased, emptiness began.

He looked up. Nothing but thick, grey fog.

 _...Nothing..._

Squall turned to look back at the land he'd crossed. More dead earth, covered in a dark haze.

 _Nothing..._

He looked ahead again.

…

Nothing...

He realized his desolation, the grip on his heart sudden and intense. He drew in air.

 _I'm alone…  
_

 _There's nothing..._

Squall allowed himself to collapse under the weight of his exhaustion.  
His head hung low, his face defeated, as his bangs dropped to cover his face.  
His shoulders drooped, and his body caved inward from exhaustion.

He allowed himself a few breaths.

His mouth was dry, his body ached with soreness, and his blood thinned with thirst.

 _Am I... Stuck here?_

He closed his eyes.

 _...Will I die here…?_

* * *

Rinoa ran.  
Above her, storm clouds threatened to erupt.

She continued into the field, darting her eyes across the landscape.

She slowed to a stop in the middle of the field. She looked around again, still unable to find him.

She shivered.

 _He promised to be here..._

…

It's been too long... Something is wrong.

Rinoa clutched the rings on her chest for comfort.

 _Squall..._

She looked up into the sky.

 _I will find you._

* * *

A white feather drifted toward him, rocking back and forth with the wind.

He was surprised to find something else that existed here, and wondered if it was an illusion.

Squall watched the feather.

 _Where did you come from...?_

The feather lightly descended into the palm of his hand.  
He closed his fingers around it.

Squall opened his eyes to find a place he recognized. For a moment, his reality was as it has always been. He took it in. Tall grass, flowers with warm tones, the setting sun enveloping him.

 _The field by the orphanage..._

And she was there, standing in front of him.  
The sight of her warmed his heart.

 _Rinoa…_

Her back was turned. She did not turn to face him. Squall swallowed the dry lump in his throat.

"Rinoa?" he called.

He waited.  
 _  
Is this a dream?_ His throat tightened.

She did not turn.

"Rinoa!" he called again.

...Please turn around...

The relief was instant as she turned to face him. Longing desperately to see the curve of her smile, the depth of her dark eyes, but like an image rippling through water, the lines of her face were washed away.

Her image was scarred, blurred.

 _Rinoa…_

Squall fought to regain his grip on reality, captured by the images before him. He knew Rinoa was the key, and he fought to remember her clearly. As he watched the recent events of his life replay, he tried to find her. Her image was alive in his consciousness, but remained incomplete. Her face was out of focus. She seemed close enough to touch, but if he reached out she slipped away. The gaps in his memories made his thoughts disjointed, and he saw each one of them.

 _Seifer, Selphie, Quistis, Zell..._

His life was a movie, nothing real. His friends were characters on a stage.

He saw her again. … _Rinoa..._

Had they never been real? A clever portrayal of his own mind? Perhaps a fantasy for his mind to entertain.

 _The truth is…_

I've always been alone...

He could not place what was real, nor rely on his memories or recollections.

 _...Maybe I'm the one who doesn't exist... A ghost..._

He tried to remember Rinoa, the one he'd promise to meet to get back to the place he belonged.

 _Home..._

A distant memory.  
 _  
...Why can't I find Rinoa?_

He was a ghost. He wasn't there for her. And so oxygen depleted, drifting in endless darkness, her helmet shattered, Rinoa had died in the depths of space, freeing the world of her horrible existence. Dead, frozen, she would float through the darkness, alone, forever.

 _...Just like me._

In the end, her loss was greater to him than his own. He shed a single tear, and dissipated into the light.

* * *

Dust scattered as she took another step. Her mouth was dry, eyelids heavy. She closed her eyes, but did not slow her pace. The tips of her hair swept over her shoulders. She looked into the gray abyss and sighed.

...Where am I?

Within Rinoa was the ability to create gateways, portals. She had done so with merely his image in her head, unsure of the destination. She had taken a breath, and bravely stepped into this place.

The rings hanging from her necklace bounced against her chest. Her arms swung back and forth, dangling helplessly at her sides. She fought the urge to stop.

 _I brought myself here..._

She clutched the rings in her hand.

 _I can do this..._

Rinoa saw something in the distance behind the thick fog. Her heart thumped deep in her chest and she increased her pace. Using small steps, she came closer.

… _A body?_

Her heartbeat echoed in her ears.

 _It has to be him..._

She paused for a moment, then approached.

It took her a moment to accept that she was looking down at Squall.

 _...Is this a dream...?_

Rinoa fell to her knees beside him. She reached her hand out to touch his shoulder. Her fingers tightened around him.

…

It's him...

He remained still.

 _He's... Cold..._

Her throat tightened, panic swelling her pulse.

She cradled him in her arms.

Squall looked peaceful, and she thought it was beautiful. She caressed his face, her heart aching. She brushed his hair away from his face. Her touch did nothing to wake him.

Tears built in her eyes.

"Squall," she whispered.

 _He's dead,_ she admitted with a sharp ache in her heart.

The tears spilled onto her cheeks.

"Squall, please, open your eyes," she pleaded weakly. She watched him as her plea went unanswered.

Grief poured from her as she brought him closer. She tightened her grip around him.

"I can't," she said, "I can't fight without you. I can't fight it alone…"

She sobbed into his chest.

 _I want us to go home..._

 _The orphanage… Where we said we'd meet..._

The wind blew past, its strength startling her. She looked up, and into her heart came a powerful but familiar force. It surrounded them, and they were transported. The muddy skies were pushed away to make way for the light inside a deep blue. The light poured down on them.

Planes of grass and flowers sprouted around her, petals were caught and uplifted into the wind that carried the storm clouds away.

The portal had opened.

 _The field… By the orphanage…_

She looked back down at Squall and lightly touched his face again.

Rinoa smiled. _I brought us home..._

Slowly, he stirred. It was faint, but she noticed it. She blinked, checking her vision.

Her eyes widened as his eyes slowly opened. He blinked a few times, squinting under the light.

He was conscious. Rinoa gasped.

 _You're alive...?!_

The haze lifted, and his eyes adjusted to the light. He was surprised to find Rinoa, and that she was holding him in her arms. He suddenly was very aware of her proximity.

They watched one another for a while.

"…Rinoa?" he asked.

Her face was clear. _Is it really you...?_

He felt rather stupid after that, regaining some of his senses. Of course it was her. But oh, how he ached for her to be real.

"Squall!" she squealed at the sound of her name, and pulled him closer to her.

"You're okay!"  
She took a breath. "I thought…"  
She shook her head, and gave him a slow, quiet smile that sent a chill down his spine. "You're okay..."

Squall sat up, and Rinoa quickly released him from her grip, as if she had also realized it was the third time that the two of them had been so close.

Squall placed a hand on his forehead. _I don't feel okay…_

"Yes," he responded. "I'm okay..."

He looked at her.

 _But you're here. You're alive. We're in the field by the orphanage..._

He turned to face her. They watched each other again, and she smiled as she waited for him to speak. Squall reached out, hesitated for a moment, then lightly touched her arm.

"You're here," he said. "..You found me..."

Rinoa's smile grew wider, and she nodded. She stiffened a bit in surprise when his gloved hand ran across her face.

He removed his hand and looked around again.

"...We made it back?" he asked.

"We made it back," Rinoa said, and gently took his hand.

He looked at their hands together, and he smiled at her.

I want to believe it so badly...

A long moment passed between them. Their gaze into each other's eyes grew long. Rinoa, in her nervousness, perked back up.

"Squall," she said, "…I'm so glad you're okay... I, I thought you were done for…"

"Never," he assured her. She smiled at him again.

Squall released a heavy sigh and leaned back onto the soft cushion of the grass. Flowers engulfed him, and he didn't mind. Rinoa did the same, keeping herself close to him, enough that their arms and fingers touched. They stayed there a while, sharing the unspoken exhaustion.

After some time, Squall spoke.

"I'm glad you're okay, too," he told her.

He looked over at her, and in his eyes, she knew that he meant it.

Rinoa grazed her fingers over his, unable to hide her smile or satisfaction with his words. She had long felt a deep devotion towards him, and was tirelessly excited at his return of affection. Her heart raced as she thought of her many rescues, the fight with Ultimecia, the many times Squall had dedicated himself to protecting her. She reminisced in the feeling of being in his arms.  
 _  
_Ultimecia had crumbled into herself as she was defeated, and through their journey, a love for each other had been planted, and was beginning to bloom.

"Squall," Rinoa said. "We did it."

She smiled over at him as he met her eyes. "We fought together until the very end," she continued, "and we won."

Squall nodded. "We did it," he agreed.

They grasped each other's hands. Comforted by the other's presence, they fell into a deep and dreamless sleep.


	2. The Party

Squall wasn't sure what the others had done with their day, as he hadn't awoken until after dusk.

He sat up and rubbed his hands over his face. His first thought was of Rinoa, and he felt a pang of guilt for sleeping through the day. She probably wanted to see him. Then again, maybe she'd slept as long as he did.

He breathed clean air deep into his lungs, and released. With another rub of his eyes, the fog of sleep began to lift. He recalled the events that had transpired after the battle.

Rinoa had successfully transported them home, and during their dreamless sleep, they'd been found by the sorceress Edea, who had easily sensed the defeat of Ultimecia. They were awoken to the sight of the others, ready for departure back to Balamb, Ragnarok parked proudly behind them. Squall remembered joining the others on the bridge, and in their silence, as he looked them over and remembered how well they'd fought, he felt a strong sense of pride in his comrades so real it tightened his chest. He felt a sense of friendship and connection unfamiliar to him. Then he felt pride in himself for leading them, and humility for their devotion to his command.

After ensuring Rinoa had a comfortable place to stay at Garden, Squall had retreated to his quarters, ready for rest. After a few quiet moments to himself, he couldn't handle the array of thoughts and the fraying of his nerves. Ultimecia, Edea, Rinoa, Ellone - they threatened to tear him apart. So he took a few sleeping pills and easily knocked out.

Thinking of Rinoa now in a well-rested, calm state, he didn't even have to decide that all traumatic thoughts would be entirely ignored. His mind couldn't handle it, and he was smart enough to know when to stay away.

Instead of worrying over her, he pictured her in his mind. Her image made him smile.

 _She's fine,_ he told himself. He reminded himself that he'd see her at the party that evening. Somewhere en route from returning to Garden and heading to his room, Xu had approached him, and excitedly informed them of the grand celebration in their honor.

"If you're up for it," she'd said.

Squall was never quite up for it, but he knew his comrades well, and knew they deserved recognition for what they'd done. So he'd accepted, and he could already hear the thumping of music in the distance.

He showered, making the water as hot as he could stand it. He'd showered the night before, but the battle grime lingered. He didn't bother to wonder if it was psychological, as it very well could have been.

When he grabbed for the soap, his hand passed through it as if he were a ghost. His heart skipped a beat.

He went to grab it again. He picked up the bar and looked at it in his hand. It was solid, he was solid, and holding it just fine. He shook off the eerie feeling and convinced himself he was just seeing things.

Squall finished getting ready around 19:00. He had some time to kill and was famished. He decided to eat something, and maybe find Rinoa somewhere in between.

He knocked on her door and suddenly felt a little embarrassed. Whenever he'd knocked on her door before, it was always for a reason other than he just wanted to see her.

He wasn't sure what to say.

It made him ponder what was going on between them and how it would develop.

Rinoa opened the door as he was caught in thought and took him off guard.  
She saw this slight change and raised a brow, giving him a sly smile.

"Did I knock on your door, or did you knock on mine?" she grinned.

"...What?" he asked.

"You look confused," she laughed.  
She let her eyes travel over him, admiring him in the plain clothes he always wore.  
"I've always liked you in that get-up," she said as she brushed his shoulders.

She looked back at the clock on her wall. "Have you come to escort me to the party?" she asked.

He nodded, and she twirled her hair through her fingers. "Unfortunately, as you can see, I'm not close to being ready," she said.

He could see that. Her hair was damp, and she wore gym shorts and a tank top. He suddenly felt awkward about noticing, so he looked away.

"I shouldn't be surprised," he realized, and she playfully tugged on his jacket.

"Oh, stop," she said.

She opened her door further and gestured for him to follow her inside.

"Come on in. I stocked the fridge earlier today. You can have something here while I get ready, if you want."

"That depends on what you have," he decided, despite a pit of empty stomach.

"Figures," Rinoa rolled her eyes. "Go take a look."

Squall shrugged and went inside the apartment, closing the door behind him. Angelo approached and greeted Squall with a yip and a wagging tail. Squall gave her a few approving pats on the head.

He glanced around the room, noticing the eerie similarity to his own. He wandered into the kitchen and opened the fridge, carefully scanning his options, even if he were hungry enough to eat anything. He helped himself to a few pieces of sushi and sat at her counter to eat.

She emerged from her room with a toothbrush in her hand.

"Find something you like?" she asked.

He nodded. "Yeah, thanks."

Squall raised a brow as he watched her walk around the apartment. She completed various tasks while brushing her teeth. It was strange to him to watch her act casually, to see her in her own environment. It was a level of intimacy he wasn't prepared for, and she seemed indifferent to the experience.

"I warma app you somfin," she said, and he shook his head. He was not about to figure out what she'd said.

She giggled and went to the bathroom to wash up. She came back in the room, running a brush through her drying hair.

"I wanna ask you something," she said this time, more coherently.

He nodded for her to proceed between bites.

"…Do you think… We could have some time together tonight? You know, alone?" she asked. "Maybe after the party? I just feel like there are some things we should talk about…"

She sounded rather sheepish, and he wondered what she was getting at.

 _Should that concern me?_ he thought.

"Sure," he agreed. "How about we go to the secret area after the party?"

She placed her hand on her arm, a gesture she did a lot. "What's the secret area?"

"It's in the training center," he explained. "A separate outdoor space. No one will be there since the party's going on."

She nodded. "Okay," she agreed with a smile. "Thanks."

"How long until you're ready?" he asked.

Rinoa laughed, approached him and pat his arm playfully.

"You can ask me that question until the day you die, and you'll never get an answer."

He wondered what she meant by that as he watched her go back into her bedroom.

* * *

An hour later, the party was in full swing. The war had been a harsh one for SeeD. Everyone was eager to forget and enjoy some entertainment.

The windows of the grand ballroom opened the room to the night sky littered with stars. The soft glow of the blue and yellow lights, the sparkling marble floor, tables covered in linens, each adorned with sophisticated dinnerware and a glass vase filled with flowers that made the room smell sweet. It was the perfect evening for something special.

On this perfect night, Zell made great use of the exquisite buffet. He munched away at one of the tables, the girl from the library by his side.

"Gee, Zell, that sounds super scary," the brunette brushed a strand of hair behind her ear. She cupped her face and held her elbow with her other hand, obviously engulfed in his story. "What did you do?"

"Well, it was tough," the blonde said, "but we were well-prepared. And, we used a lot of limit moves. That works nicely. It sucks, 'cause I get real tired afterward. But it's cool." He shrugged. "I'm cool."

"Yeah," she gushed, her face blushing into a deep red.

She was soon distracted from her admiration. "Hey, look," she said. She pointed in their direction. "The Commander's arrived."

Zell twisted in his seat to find Squall and Rinoa entering the ballroom. He turned back casually. "Pssh, you can call him Squall," he waved his hand. "He's my bro. And you're in with me, right?"

She tried to hide her flushing cheeks. "If you say so..."

"I'll be back," he said, waving and heading in the couple's direction.

He crossed the ballroom floor and approached the entrance.  
"Yo, Squall," he called.  
He stopped in front of the couple.

"Get enough rest?" He eyed Rinoa and smirked.

"It was sufficient, yes," Squall replied wryly.

"Great. That's great." Zell gave them a thumbs up. "Lookin' good as usual, Rinoa."

"Thanks, Zell," she said with a laugh. The best she could say was that her clothes and duster were properly washed. She nodded in the brunette's direction. "I see you're with the girl from the library."

Zell looked over his shoulder, then looked back at them. He stuttered. "Oh, her, she's-"

Squall interrupted. "Sora, the library attendant. She's a class above us. Zell's been idly staring at her as long as I've known him."

"What?" Zell's eyes widened.

"I've noticed," Rinoa laughed.

Squall looked to Zell and continued. "She's always asking about you... Are you ever going to ask her out?"

"Hey, man," Zell protested, "I do my thing, okay?!" He scoffed. "And, I do _not_ stare, gah,"

"…'Your thing?'" Squall asked. Rinoa laughed.

"Yeah man, my ' _thing_!' Tch!" Zell crossed his arms over his chest. "Like _you_ know anything about that stuff, Squall!"

Squall held his hands up in defeat. "Okay, take it easy, Zell. You're right... I know nothing about staring at a girl and never talking to her."

"Tch," Zell uncrossed his arms and pointed. "Sounds like your perfect MO!"

"If you'd like advice," Rinoa said, steering the conversation into a more positive direction, "take it from a woman. Such as myself," she placed her hand to her chest. "Just follow your heart. It's always a sure thing when you do what you believe, right?" She placed her hand on Zell's shoulder. "Believe in yourself. You're a catch, Zell." She winked at him for good measure.

Zell smiled at her. Then he looked over at Squall and frowned. "See? That makes me feel so much better. Thank you, _Rinoa._ You're so wise, always helpful and considerate."

She shrugged. "I try."

"Whatever," Squall rolled his eyes.

Zell scoffed and shook his head in disappointment. " _So_ like you, Squall. Anyway, enjoy the festivities. We'll take shots together later." He trotted off back in Sora's direction.

Rinoa gave Squall's hand a quick squeeze. "Wanna grab some drinks?"

He shrugged. "Sure."

They found the beverage table and each took a tall glass of champagne. They clinked their glasses together and each took a sip, both analyzing the flavor. Rinoa smiled as the bubbles tickled her nose.

They were soon approached by a few young cadets and fell into inevitable conversation.  
Rinoa saw Selphie approaching them from a distance, and took another long sip of champagne to prepare herself.

"It's about time," Selphie complained when she arrived, crossing her arms in a pout. "And Squall was once so punctual for things. You must be distracting him," she grinned. She lifted the video camera in her hands and looked at the screen, capturing Rinoa in the middle of the frame. "Say hi for the camera, Rinny."

Rinoa waved and smiled. "Hi,"

"Rinoa, what do you think of tonight's festivities?" Selphie asked.

"Oh. Well, I think the ballroom looks great," Rinoa gestured to the decorations.

Selphie grinned. "Yeah, that was my crew,"

Rinoa giggled. "They did a good job. And… Everyone looks very happy to be here."

"What about the Commander, Rinoa?" Selphie asked. "Do you think he's happy to be here? Might I add," she directed the camera to face her as she spoke, "that she would know, as she's probably been with him allll day, and aaaalllll night."

She pointed the camera back to Rinoa and waited.

"Have not," Rinoa looked annoyed. "And I think he's satisfied with his position. Ask him yourself," she pointed with her thumb. "He's right there."

"Maybe later," Selphie said as she cut the power from the video camera to conserve battery. "Come on," she said, grabbing Rinoa by the arm, "let's have girl time. Quistis is waiting. Squall!" she hollered in his direction.

Squall looked over at her, not bothering to hide his annoyance.

"I'm going to borrow her for a minute," Selphie said, pointing at Rinoa. Rinoa shrugged, helpless to the whims of Selphie. "Bye," Selphie said, and dragged Rinoa in the other direction.

Squall shrugged, then continued listening to the cadets.

Rinoa found Quistis surrounded by the Trepes. They watched in adoration as she spoke.

"Quistis," Selphie called, releasing Rinoa's arm. "Look who finally made it."

Quistis dismissed her students and turned to Rinoa.

"My my, he must have had you all tied up," Quistis said, and Selphie laughed. The Trepes laughed. Quistis put on a straight face and glared at the Trepes. "Give the girls some private time, would you monsters?"

The handsome one - the appointed ring leader, nodded. "Yes, ma'am," he said, and they all dispersed in disappointment.

Quistis turned back to Selphie and Rinoa. "But seriously, how is that going?"  
Selphie looked at Rinoa, clutching her fists in excitement.

Rinoa looked at the other two. "What do you mean?"

Quistis and Sephie looked at one another.

"Well," Selphie said, putting her hands on her hips, "has he kissed you yet or what?"

" _Kissed_ me?" Rinoa asked.

"That's a no," Selphie said to Quistis.

"I don't know about you two," Rinoa said, "but I was busy sleeping, showering, and taking care of Angelo. I've hardly had the energy for anything else." She held up her hand. "You aren't exhausted?"

The two girls shrugged, always full of energy and looking their best. Rinoa rolled her eyes.

"Hmm," Quistis mumbled, crossing her arms, pondering to herself. "Do you think he'll go for it tonight?"

"Maybe," Selphie grinned.

"Maybe not," Rinoa said, without hiding her displeasure very well.

"Oh whatever," Selphie rolled her eyes. "Look, Rinoa," Selphie said with a seriousness as she turned to her. "Squall is a jerk, but he's a good guy. And he digs you. So no matter what stupid things he says or does, just remember that." She nodded, affirming her own belief. "He went halfway around the world _and_ into space for you. So, yeah, he digs you."

Rinoa laughed, feeling reassured. "Okay, Selphie. I'll remember that."

"Good. I gotta run," she said, gesturing toward Irvine and a group of young female cadets. "I'll leave you two to talk. See ya!" She waved, and was gone.

"She's right, you know," Quistis agreed, turning back to the sorceress. "I was almost jealous of how dedicated he was to you.

Rinoa smiled. She felt a little embarrassed that Quistis would be jealous of her. She was also proud of that fact, a vain thing she would never admit to.

"Thanks, Quistis. I should get back." Rinoa hugged her, and strolled away.

Quistis smiled as she watched her go. She was genuinely happy for Rinoa, as well as Squall.

"Instructooooor," Quistis heard Irvine's voice crawl up behind her and intrude upon her thoughts. She turned to face him.

"Irvine," she said, acknowledging his presence. She took another sip from her drink.

"Have I ever told you, dear Quisty," the cowboy soothed, "that I've always enjoyed you in that colour orange? The red, also a beautiful touch. You are always so classy."

Quistis rolled her eyes. "Have I ever told you that your attempts to woo remind me of nails on a chalkboard?"

"Ouch," he said, grabbing his chest in feigned pain. "That hurts. Cold as ice Quistis, the ice princess," he said mockingly, "it reminds me of Shiva. I like that."

"Ugh," Quistis scoffed. "So, I take it your pick-up lines didn't work on those cadets, either."

"Whatever," Irvine sneered, "all I've got to do is bust out my dance moves. Check it out,"

He began to slide back and forth, snapping his fingers and turning in circles, doing some kind of version of the electric slide that a drunken idiot might attempt. Perhaps Irvine wasn't an idiot, but he seemed to have the drunk part down.

Quistis watched, unmoved though a little amused. "I'm sure that gets them,"

"Every time," he concluded.

"Hey!" Selphie called from a distance.

Quistis looked over and saw Selphie waving with the video camera.

"Quistis, say hi to the camera," Selphie commanded.

Quistis held her hand up and smiled, albeit unenthusiastically.

"Tell us about the festivities," Selphie asked.

Quistis placed her drink down and thought for a moment, but realized she was blocked by the back of Irvine's cowboy hat. He slid into the frame in front of Quistis.

"Heeeeey!" he called into the camera.  
Her eyes rolled, again.

Irvine stood beside Quistis and slid his arm around her.  
"Quisty, the festivities," he reminded her.

"Cut it out," Quistis said, nudging his arm.

"Come on, look happy for the camera, Quisty," he instructed.

She shoved him aside forcefully and walked away, spewing "whatever…" under her breath.

She halted when she saw Headmaster Cid. Upon approaching him, she smiled and bowed politely.

"Evening, Headmaster," she said as she lifted back up. "This celebration is quite successful."

"Yes," Cid replied, taking a small sip from his drink, "I'm very happy with the way things turned out. The garden festival committee really outdid themselves this time."

"Those are my people!" Selphie called from behind the video camera.

Cid looked over Quistis's shoulder, puzzled.

Quitis turned. _Ah, Selphie with the camera,_ she thought.

Cid raised his glass and smiled politely for the camera.

"Is Matron in attendance?" Quistis asked.

"Yes. She was just here…" he said, scratching the back of his head.  
He looked to his right. Edea was speaking with a few students a few feet away.  
"Ah, yes. Here she is."

He motioned for Edea to join them.  
When she approached, Cid placed his arm around her shoulder. "Quistis, you know Edea as herself, of course."

"Yes," Quistis said, bowing her head. _Weird way to put it..._

Edea bowed hers as well. "Of course. Dear Quistis," she said, tenderness in her voice.

"Darling, could I get you something to drink?" Cid asked Edea.

"No Cid, thank you," Edea said with a wave of her hand.

Before Quistis could say another word, Irvine was back at her side.

"Matron," he said. He removed his hat and bowed respectfully.  
Quistis bowed again, feeling a little uncomfortable without mimicking the gesture.  
Edea bowed her head in return.

"And Irvine, from Galbadia." Cid added.  
"Yes. Dear Irvine." Edea smiled. She had always been fond of Irvine's good nature and cheerful disposition.

"Enjoying the celebration?" Irvine asked the couple.

"Oh yes," Cid said, nodding. "Thank you for all of your help with the arrangements, Irvine."

"Of course, it was my pleasure," Irvine replied.  
He turned to find Selphie still behind the camera. He frowned.  
"Excuse me for a moment," he said, heading in her direction.

"Do you know if Squall attended the event, Quistis?" Edea asked.

"He was here earlier," she said. "He likes to hang out on balcony alone during events like this. That's probably where he is now," Quistis shrugged.  
 _Predictable Squall.  
_

* * *

He heard her footsteps approaching. What made hers distinguishable from anyone else's, he didn't know. Maybe he had become accustomed to the sound. Maybe he knew she'd be the only approaching him. He closed his eyes for a moment and smiled. It was nice to have something reoccurring that he enjoyed.

 _I depend on seeing you._

He waited for her to speak.

She did. "Hey." She joined him at his side.

He met her eyes. "Hey."

Rinoa rested her arms on the balcony and watched the stars pass by. Squall turned his gaze back to the ocean. She ran her hand through her hair as the breeze made it dance.

They stayed like that for a long time, enjoying the sounds of the night. The darkness made her think of the universe and its vast capriciousness. It made him think of time and the future. It loosened his already loose grip on reality, so he shook the thoughts from his mind and focused on counting the waves beneath them.

"Squall," Rinoa said, finally breaking the silence.

He didn't respond, but she knew he was listening. She didn't say anything for a while.

She gripped the rings on her chain, a nervous habit. "Can I tell you something?"

"...Sure," he agreed.

"My whole life," she began, "I've been, well… Afraid of what people think of me." She sighed. "I care too much about the opinions of others. I let it influence my decisions, though I try to stick with what I believe…"

Squall blinked as he was reminded of the words he spoke to her as he carried her through FH. _Had she heard me?_

Rinoa turned away.

"I've always trusted others, and gotten hurt because of it… And well, I don't know how to say this, but… I'm sorry I ever thought of you as distrustful, and I'm sorry if I tried to change that about you. I know I gave you a hard time, but... It's not always such a bad thing… I've seen how hard it is to lose things you love."

She turned back to face him again.

"What I'm trying to say is that I understand, Squall. I understand how you feel. I understand that it's hard."

He pondered her words for a while. The emptiness of the night sky seemed consuming.

"…Why are you telling me this?" he finally asked.

"I don't know," she said, fumbling with her hands, figuring out what she was trying to say herself. "I just wanted you to know... I understand you. I respect you, and I like you the way you are."

He thought about that. No one had ever really said that they liked him the way he was - especially not her. Rinoa had always been his toughest contender. He shook his head.

 _She needs to know that she was right about me..._

"Rinoa, don't be envious of me," he told her. "I want to trust people. I want to be able to depend on them."

He looked up into the sky and sighed.

"It's just taken me a long time to realize it. It will take even longer to get used to it." He looked back down at the ground. "Being alone… Though it has its benefits, it's rather…"

A chill went down his spine as he remembered what truly being alone meant. He thought about how to phrase it. "...Meaningless."

She didn't respond, so he continued.

"I care about what other people think of me, too."

"No way," she teased, rolling her eyes.

"I care about what you think of me," he said.

"Really?" She wondered if he was playing with her, but he simply nodded in response. She felt the blush rush into her cheeks.

"Well, then you don't have it so bad, 'cause you know I think very highly of you." She crossed her arms across her chest.

Squall turned back to the ocean. "Yes. You understand, respect, and like me," he repeated.

Rinoa laughed at his dry wit. "So what about me?" She placed her hands on her hips. "Do you understand, respect, and like me?"

He thought about it for a moment. "I certainly don't understand you," he said, "but I do respect you. And I think I like you. Most of the time,"

She shrugged. "That's pretty good - at least I've gained respect and ambiguous liking since we've met. And you don't like anybody!"

He shrugged, too. He seemed to be mimicking her movements as a part of their playful jest. "Maybe," he admitted.

Rinoa hung her arms over the railing and sighed. "So... How long do you think we have before we're bombarded again?"

He went to the railing too. "Won't be long," he said. "We've been alone for a while. They're bound to find us soon."

She reached over and took his hand gently. "You know, what I said about me? That's a secret between you and me… Got it?"

Squall smiled, but he didn't respond.

* * *

Selphie gulped.

"Hey," Irvine said, pulling his hat from his head and covering the camera lens. "Some moments are private, and some people just don't like being filmed."

He snatched the camera from her hand.

"Hey!" she protested.

When he lifted the camera out of her reach, she snatched his hat in return, pulling it onto her head.

"Fine, you shoot," she said, joining Quistis at her side.

"It's what I do best, darlin'." He held up the camera sideways and aimed it at the two.

 _Again with the camera,_ Quistis frowned.

"Turn the camera, idiot," Selphie sneered.

"Which way?" He lifted his free hand in defense.

"This way," she directed with her hands.

He turned the camera and gave the girls a thumbs-up as the correct paneling came into view.

Selphie threw her arm around Quistis and waved excitedly. Irvine waved back.

He then noticed and directed the camera and his wave to the group of female cadets he'd been with earlier. They waved back enthusiastically.

"Hey!" Selphie yelled. She jumped in front of the camera and furrowed her brow. "Jerk! It's not like I have a lot of battery left. Pssh."

She turned angrily. "Come on, Quisty," she grabbed Quistis by the arm and directed her away from Irvine and the camera, but he still followed them as they departed.

"Ooh!" Selphie stopped as she noticed something. "Check it out!" she pointed, laughing.  
Quistis looked over and laughed with her.

 _Gotta get a shot of whatever this is,_ Irvine thought. He turned the camera in the direction they were pointing. Zell was stuffing his face while talking and drinking, as usual. Sora eyed him lovingly all the same, laying her chin in her palms.

"High in protein, which is the number one thing I need. For my muscles and stuff," he said in-between bites.

Selphie laughed in the distance. "I mean, I knew Zell wasn't that bright, especially about girls. But… Really? He looks like he's at an eating contest."

Quistis felt a little embarrassed with how humorous she found this. She thought of Zell as a child, and his silly overalls, his silly hair. She'd always been very fond of him, but he was an absolute mess then, and apparently still was now. It made her laugh harder.

Irvine zoomed in on Zell's plate of at least four hotdogs.

Zell pulled his plate closer when he saw Irvine looking in his direction.  
 _Back off buddy,_ he thought.

Suddenly Zell began to cough.

He hit his chest, attempting to dislodge the food in his throat.  
That didn't work, so he reached for the water.  
 _No more water?!_ He looked with dreaded apprehension at the empty cup.

Sora began to look worried. "Zell? Are you okay?"

He only coughed in response.

"…Did you eat too much?"

He shook his head, unable to respond, wondering why it wasn't obvious to her what was happening. And for the record, he certainly hadn't eaten enough! He began to panic as he realized the severity of the situation and his obvious unpreparedness for it.

 _Think back to basic med class. Choking… Umm… Fuck, how much of my memory do those GFs really need?!_

Before he realized it, Quistis and Selphie were behind him, smacking his back with the palms of their hands.

"Zell! Spit it out! Spit the food _out,_ Zell!" Selphie yelled, as if he were having a hearing emergency.

 _Really, Selphie? Really? The food should go out?_ Zell thought.  
He only wished he could say it.

"Just keep coughing," Quistis said calmly as they continued to beat his back.

"That's not what you're supposed to do," Irvine called from behind the camera. "Blows to the back only serve to lodge the object further down the food pipe,"

"Oh," the girls said, and withdrew their hands.

Zell swallowed the mound in his throat with a fury.

He took a few deep breaths, then looked to Quistis and Selphie angrily.

"Zell, oh my gosh, are you okay?" Sora asked, her hand over her heart.

He said nothing, only continued to stare daggers at the other two females.

They looked back at him nervously.  
"Hey, buddy…" Selphie said sweetly.

Zell lunged at them, but the two girls evaded rather easily.  
Irvine laughed.

Not in the least bit amused, Zell picked up his last hotdog and chucked it at Irvine, hitting the camera directly in the lens and knocking it out of his hands.

"Damn! Coulda poked my eye out," Irvine commented.

He picked the camera back up, check it for damage, brushed it off, and carefully lifted it back to his eye. "We don't need _two_ medical emergencies tonight."

Zell huffed, his face a deep red from anger and lack of oxygen. "I'll kill you Irvine, I'll-"

"Uh-oh," Irvine said, scurrying off with the camera in the other direction.

He wanted to avoid any more projectile objects from Zell tonight.


	3. Love Grows

"There was a star, shooting through the sky, like that one," Rinoa said, pointing to the sky.

Squall watched as the star lit up and burned its way through the sky. He remembered well.  
He looked back at her.

"And… You looked at me, like that." She smiled, enchanted. "I wanted you to ask my name, to come find me after I left. Maybe even kiss me that night..."

He could take a hint, and the time seemed right. They'd each made their feelings clear long ago, and their fruition was overdue.

He took her hand in his and approached her. With the other he touched her lower back, then pulled her close so that their bodies were touching. He had waited long enough, glancing at her full lips and wondering what they felt like.

She heard her heartbeat echoing in her ears. Blood rushed through her body. She felt her pulse beating in her wrists. Her fingers began to tingle.

She'd been kissed before and felt the thrill of anticipation, but something about it coming from him, after all this time, was breathtaking.

He placed his lips on hers, gently for a moment, as they both discovered the sensation.  
Then he kissed her over and over, slowly, but increasing the pressure after a while.  
His grip on her back tightened, and she snaked her hand around his neck, lacing her fingers through his hair.

She enjoyed the warmth of his lips and his closeness.  
He also reveled in the newfound sensation, but decided to release her before desire caused things to go any further. As well as he may have known her, this was getting to know a different side of her, and revealing that side of himself. He wasn't ready to become completely absorbed or exposed.

He loosened his grip on her body, kissed her once more and pulled away. He watched as she took a breath and opened her eyes.

"...I waited a long time for that," Rinoa teased.

Squall grinned. "Sorry about that."

"Don't be," she laughed. "It was worth it."

They held each other for a moment, then dropped their arms to the sides.

"...Still want to go to the training center later?" she asked.

He nodded. "Sure. And _soon_. This party is…" He almost said something honest, but she eyed him cautiously. "Just… Great. And there's really no reason for me to want to leave at all."

She laughed. "You're good at this deception thing!" She raised a brow. "Are you good at _everything_ , Mr. Leonhart?"

"I'd like for you to think that," he replied.

"You guys, I just can't take it anymore!"

They turned at hearing Selphie's voice at the doorway.  
She ran out to them while shoving batteries into her video camera.

"You are _too_ cute. _Please_ , you've gotta do one for the camera."  
She held it up to her eye and turned on the power.  
"Okay. And… Action!"

Squall and Rinoa stood there - Squall looked highly irritated, Rinoa looked a little embarrassed.

"Here we are with the Commander extraordinaire, our main man, number one, Squall Leonhart," Selphie narrated.

Squall crossed his arms and looked away. "Selphie, I _hate_ those things. Turn it off."

"Oh come on, Squall. It's for keepsake!" Selphie argued. "When you have babies, you'll thank me."

"Babies?" he repeated with disbelief.

Selphie ignored him and continued. "And this, dear ones, this is our lovely young sorceress, Miss Rinoa Heartilly."

Rinoa sighed. "Hi, Selphie."

"Say hello to your dear ones, Rinoa! Do you think they'll have your eyes or his?" Selphie asked.

"Selphie, leave 'em alone," Irvine protested, taking the camera from her hands and holding his hat to his head, ensuring that she couldn't snatch it.

"Irvine! They were just about to do it in front of the camera!" Selphie cried.

"First of all, that sounds… Wrong," he held up a finger. "Secondly, they weren't. Thirdly, I am concerned that you are speaking to fictitious children from the future through the camera. It's weird and it makes me wonder about your mental stability. And finally, that's a _bad_ matchmaker, Sefie," he mumbled the last part under his breath.

"Didn't I say they'd be here?" Quistis said as she emerged. "I said that."

"We've been looking all over for you guys," Zell came up behind Quistis.

"Yeah," Irvine agreed.

"We definitely weren't by the window. We just found you. Just now. Right guys?" Selphie said and turned to the others for support.

"Selphie, no…" Quistis said, shaking her head.

"Bad!" Irvine repeated.

Squall and Rinoa sighed. It may have been simultaneously.

"Come and have a drink with us, Squall," Zell said.

"Yeah. You've been avoiding us all night," Irvine added.

"That's not true," Squall said, shaking his head.

"Okay, you've been avoiding everyone all night," Quistis corrected.

"…Maybe," Squall admitted.

"So let's go," Zell said, leading the way back inside. "This is an open bar event, people."  
The others followed after him.

Rinoa looked to Squall. "Ready?"

He nodded and reluctantly followed her inside.

When they all had a glass of champagne in their hands, Zell lifted his glass. "A toast, to victory!"

"Yeah! To winning!" Selphie agreed.

They clinked their glasses together and drank.

"This crap is cheap, but it sure is good," Selphie commented.

"Guys, I wanna ask ya somethin'," Zell said, placing his glass down. "...Now that all of this is over, and we're going back to our normal lives, are we still gonna hang out?"

"Of course!" Selphie said. "We're friends."

"I know," Zell replied. "But that doesn't mean we're still gonna hang out. I guess… I'm just worried about losin' touch, that's all."

"Destiny holds that our paths will always cross eventually," Irvine said, shrugging.

"Yeah, and we all live here, so it's not like we're never going to see each other," Quistis added, then looked at Selphie, Irvine and Rinoa. "But… What about you guys? What are you going to do after this?"

Selphie shrugged. "I wanna return to Trabia, help rebuild the place. But… I like Balamb. Once I get into the routine of being a normal SeeD, I'll travel a lot, and visit all the time! What about you, Irvine?"

Irvine shrugged as well. "Not sure, haven't thought much about it... Frankly, right before we met I was ready to move on, anyway. Leave Galbadia Garden, see the world. I'd still stay with SeeD, sure, but I'd want to be somewhere abroad. I guess I've already seen almost everything. So what's next? With my entire life ahead of me? I'm not sure. I like the weather in Timber, but no close-by Gardens. There are lots of pretty girls in Balamb, which is a reason to stay. And they're nice, too. Galbadian girls are grumpy. Maybe I'll kick it here. Maybe I'll go where a good-paying position takes me. Maybe, I'll buy a motorcycle and head off into the distance, with no destination."

 _That sounds kind of cool,_ Squall thought. He could go for that.

"Motorcycles are kick-ass," Selphie commented.

Apparently Squall wasn't the only one who thought so.

"Enough about Irvine: the mini-series," Zell said and looked to Rinoa. "What will you do, Rinoa?"

"Oh, well," she started, nervously clearing her throat, "I… Haven't really thought about it. I promised the Owls I'd return to Timber..."

"We have yet to fulfill the terms of the contract," Squall realized. "Timber has SeeD assistance until it achieves independence..."

"Oh right, Timber," Zell scratched the back of his head.

Rinoa placed her hands on her hips and gave him an annoyed look. "Um, yeah, Timber," she said.

"I'll talk with Cid about it in the morning," Squall promised. Rinoa nodded with a smile. "Well this has been fun," Squall said, finishing off the last of his drink. "Good party, Selphie." He turned to Rinoa. "You ready to go?"

"Sure," Rinoa nodded.

She finished her drink as well.

"See ya," she said to the others.

No one debated their sudden urge to be alone.  
"Have fuuun, guys," Selphie cooed. The group waved the couple goodbye.

Selphie turned back to the others. "So. Cute."

"I hope it works out. I kind of like humorous, kind-of-in-a-good-mood Squall," Quistis said.

"Me too," Selphie gushed.

"Pssh, not me," Zell said, kicking his foot into the ground. "I think it's weird."

"Whatever, Zell," Selphie said, placing her hands on her hips. "We all know that you'd love to have Squall open up to everyone and become your best friend."

"That would be kind of cool…" Zell said dejectedly. "I mean, you know, so I could play with his gunblade."

Irvine laughed hard at that one, and once the others joined him and Zell realized what he had said, he shook his head. He punched Irivne in the arm.

"Fffuck!" Irvine grimaced, rubbing his arm.

"Don't worry about what we think, Zell - you've got your own fish to fry," Quistis said, directing her drink to an approaching Sora.

"Ah man," Zell said, throwing his hands down. "I already made myself look like an ass enough tonight."

"Hey, man, it's cool. We all choke sometimes." Irvine said, placing his hand on his shoulder. "Figuratively and literally."

Zell sighed. "That… Doesn't make me feel any better."

Irvine shrugged. "At least I tried."

* * *

When they finally reached the 'secret area,' Rinoa sighed. It was a long journey, even though most of the monsters were already in hiding. _Must all be asleep,_ Rinoa thought, wondering if monsters slept at night, or even slept at all. She'd hoped to fight as little monsters as possible in the coming days.

"Check it out," Squall said, and Rinoa turned to see him holding up a bottle of red wine and two glasses.

"Cool," Rinoa commented.

"Courtesy of the staff at Balamb Garden," he said as he began to open the bottle.

"Really?" Rinoa wondered.

"If anyone asks, yes," he said.

"Squall Leonhart," she placed her hands on her hips. "I would have never guessed. You, a common thief. And an aficionado of wine."

"There's plenty you don't know about me," he said, pouring out a taste of the wine.

He sipped it, then nodded to himself. "Want to try it?" He offered her the glass.

"I'm sure it's fine," Rinoa said, accepting a full glass after he poured it.

They sat down together, Rinoa indian-style.  
They sipped on the wine and remained silent for a while.

Squall didn't really like the taste, but he enjoyed how it warmed his body.  
He'd always liked the secret area when it was empty. It was the perfect place to think.

"So," he said, the first to break the silence.  
She turned to him.  
"You wanted to talk."

"Oh," she said, as if she had forgotten.  
"Well… I did want to talk to you about… Well… Everything that's happened to us. Everything that's happened between us," she said, placing her hand over her heart.

 _A broad topic,_ he thought. "What do you mean?"

"I like you," she shrugged, "and we haven't any time to really get to know each other..."

 _Not much to know about me_. He waited for her to continue, having nothing to say for himself.

"To be honest, Squall, sometimes I'm worried that you don't think well of me..."  
Rinoa picked at her nails, summoning up the courage to continue.  
"Maybe you think I'm childish for having dreams of Timber's liberation. Maybe you think I'm stupid or crazy to take part in the Forest Owls. Maybe I'm not as strong as you or the others. Maybe I don't have any kind of tactical training, and my skills are rather useless unless I'm in front of a drawing board. I'm loud and impulsive. I got myself thrown into situations where you had to come after me… I was an idiot to try and face Edea on my own, or to try to reason with Seifer… Now I'm forever bound to these powers, and it's because of my negligence. Maybe you think I'm a fool."

She took a deep breath and looked into his eyes sadly, her face reflecting the regret she felt so deeply. He wanted to say something to comfort her, but she held her hand up to still him.

"I want you to know that it's not who I am, you know, deep down. Yes, I was childish and arrogant before… Before everything happened to me. But I've grown up a lot since you've met me, and I want you to know that I've changed." She closed her legs and hugged her knees with her hands. "Maybe for the better."

He thought about that. They'd both grown, they'd both changed. There hadn't been any other option.

"Rinoa," he asked after a while, "why do you think that I don't like you for who you are?"

Though she had not been brave enough to say it directly, she was glad he understood what she was trying to say. _Don't like me because of my looks, or because I'm the first available._ It was something she feared from the first day they met. They came from two different worlds, and for a long time they didn't agree on anything. They couldn't relate. She remembered at one point thinking he was a monster, a cruel and selfish individual with no gentility. As she grew to know him, she saw him slowly open up and reveal his true personality. Now she felt like she was the monster, trying to force him out of his shell while running loose, leaving him to be the one to protect her.

She placed her glass of wine on the ground beside her. She wanted to answer his question. She wanted to tell him these things instead of just thinking them to herself.

"I'm afraid that maybe you don't really know me."  
She hated this feeling, like she was reverting back into her childish state before someone who really didn't need to be wasting his time on her sob story. She was accustomed to his indifference, and braced herself for his reply.

He scoffed and she glanced at him in surprise. "Of course I know you," he said. "I've only spent the last year with you following close behind me. I've been able to pick up on a few things."

"You're just saying that," she pouted.

He shook his head. "I'm not. Don't flatter yourself – I've never done anything just to make someone _feel_ better,"

She laughed. _That's probably true._ He smiled, glad that he could cheer her up.

He continued with a shrug. "So maybe you are childish, impulsive, amateurish, loud and naïve."

Rinoa frowned at him, hands on her hips.

He gave her a slight grin before continuing, amused at his ability to get to her.  
"You are also whimsical, brave, placid, out-spoken and simple. You are who you are. You don't hide from others. You leave yourself exposed to anything or anyone the world has to offer. You aren't afraid of yourself or your life, you embrace it. That, to me, makes you the strongest and most sensible person I know."

Rinoa blinked at the compliment. _\- You - feel that way?_

"You mean that?" she asked.

"It's a failing on me that you have to ask," he sighed.

She smiled at him and kissed his cheek softly, letting her lips linger for a moment. She wanted her kiss to reflect the tenderness she felt.

"That's really nice of you to say, Squall."

He shook his head.  
"I'm being honest. Rinoa, you have to stop putting me on a pedestal. I'm not just someone in uniform. I'm damaged, I have issues and insecurities like anybody else. Probably more so. How could you think that I don't see you for who you are? Do you think I'm blind?"

"Of course not," she said, touching his cheek gently. "You're right. It's time I start seeing you for who you are, not just as the dashing guy in the SeeD uniform." She smirked.

"Yeah, that's not me," he said, and she laughed.

They sat there in silence for a while, both finishing their glasses of wine and refilling them, thinking over their lives, their futures, what had happened, what had been said. There were so many things to consider, so many things left unanswered. Rinoa sighed, tired of having so many questions and reaching no conclusions. She decided to voice her feelings.

"I think this is a strange point in both our lives. We're inexperienced in life, but we're strong and have seen the world… Now we're at a crossroad. What do we do after everything else has fallen into place? Where do we go from here? We have feelings that are unfamiliar, but gratifying… I guess… All in all, I really just don't know how to act."

He understood. He could certainly relate to that.

…What's going to happen to us… You and me?" she asked. She decided to come out and say it, tired of beating around the bush. Rinoa was never good at being patient or hiding her feelings.

Squall looked away.

 _Presently? We'll sit here. I'll overthink what to do. With Ultimecia gone, where do we go? With your powers, my position, what do we do? You'll ask me questions, I'll attempt to find the answer. But I know that you're asking the same thing I am. What's to become of us? ...And I don't know what answer you want to hear._

"Squall," she interrupted softly. "...Tell me."

He sighed. It was about time he said his thoughts out loud, and now seemed to be the right time.

"Rinoa, I'm here because of you," he told her. "Everything I've done leading up to Ultimecia was for you. I wanted Ultimecia gone so that the world could live on, so that we could live on, uninterrupted. Sure, I was contractually obligated to be with you… But I wanted to be with you anyway. I did everything…"

He paused for a moment. _Tell her why._

"Because I want to stay with you."

"Squall," she breathed, speechless. "So it's true," she remarked after a while, thinking back to what Quistis and Selphie had said to her earlier that night.

He raised a brow in confusion. "What I said certainly wasn't a lie,"

She laughed and shook her head. "No, I know," she said.

"So you agree, then?" he asked.

She smiled at him. He wanted confirmation that she felt the same way. "Of course. I think," she began, finding some courage of her own, "that I fell for you a long time ago."

"But we have to understand ourselves, before we understand each other, and our..."  
What should he call it? Relationship? Bond? Association? Situation?  
"Our… Feelings."  
He felt a little silly choosing that word, but it fit better for him than any of the others.

Rinoa nodded. "Yeah. I agree. We need time to figure out ourselves before we can take the next step, like making fictitious future babies."

"Definitely," he agreed.

She wrapped her arm around his. "We can still hang out though, right?"

He laughed. "Yeah."

"And kiss?" She was hopeful.

He shrugged. "If you think you can handle it, sure."

She playfully nudged him in the side with her elbow. "You're so mean, Squall. Meany."

"Sorry," he said, but he smiled to himself.

She leaned into him and placed her head on his shoulder, her arms hugging his arm. She felt him flinch a bit at the prolonged contact, but she just stayed there until she felt him relax. He eventually leaned his head onto hers. He felt the urge of sleep calling out to him. There were plenty of things left to talk about. But they'd already covered most of her bases in one night, and both deserved rest after such an evening.

* * *

As Sora successfully lured Zell from the rest of the group, Irvine shook his head and smiled.

"Man, I feel so bad for that girl. She's cute."

"Please," Quistis objected, "you think every girl's cute. Besides, Zell will do just fine."

"And even if he doesn't, he probably got a bangin' body," Selphie pointed out.

Quistis thought about that, placing her fingers on her chin.

"Good to know your priorities," Irvine laughed.

"Ugh!" Selphie groaned. "Whatever, Irvine! Like you can go around saying stuff like that about girls but nobody else can say anything chauvinistic? Gah! Seriously, make use of yourself and get some coffee and leave me and Quistis in peace!"

Quistis raised her brows at Selphie's sudden outburst.

Irvine shrugged. "…Okay, sure. See ya," he turned and headed back toward the buffet table.

"…Crazy much, Selphie?" Quistis asked.

"Whatever, he is so annoying." Selphie said, crossing her arms.

"'Kay…" Quistis said, beginning to feel a bit of nervousness in the company of a more-so crazy Selphie.

She decided to change the subject. "So, you wanna go shopping in Balamb tomorrow?"

"Uh, _yeah_!" Selphie said, as if it were a stupid question to ask.

"I was gonna ask Rinoa if she wanted to come, but she ran off too quickly."

"S'okay. I need to bombard her about Squall bright and early tomorrow. We can ask her then." Selphie clapped her hands together. "Yaaay, girl time!"

"Yes… Girl time," Quistis approved.

Selphie nodded. "We'll go over details at breakfast tomorrow."

"Sure. For now, I'll leave you to hang with Irvine for a bit," Quistis suggested.

Selphie sneered. " _Why_?"

"Because, I think he's a nice guy," Quistis shrugged. "He's always been nice to you, so you should be nice to him."

"I hate 'nice,'" Selphie said, crossing her arms.

"Come on. I think you were a little harsh earlier. He's just showin' off." Quistis pointed her finger at Selphie. "Don't be too hard on a man's pride - they're sensitive there."

"I guess so…" Selphie agreed, releasing her arms.

"Hey, come on," Quistis said, placing her hand on her friend's arm, "remember, it's a magical night. Let the good times roll."

Selphie found Irvine at a table alone, sipping on coffee.  
She smiled at him sadly. She did feel a little guilty.  
She hadn't expected him to be alone. She'd expected him to be surrounded by those cadets again, or even by some random female SeeDs from Galbadia. She didn't like the thought of that.  
She wondered why she felt that way. She wondered why his interest in other girls made her uncomfortable.  
What was it about him that made her feel almost… Homesick?

He waved at her happily and pulled out the seat next to him.  
She smiled. She thought it was nice that despite her bitchiness, he was still friendly and welcoming. She accepted the seat and plopped down.

"Want some coffee?" he offered, lifting the pot.

"No way," Selphie declined, "I'm not allowed to have that stuff."

"Ah," Irvine said, understanding and quickly placing the coffee pot back down on the table.

"Listen, sorry if I was a little abrupt a second ago," she apologized.

He raised a brow. "'Abrupt?' I don't know if that's the word I'd chose," he said.

She narrowed her eyes. "What word would _you_ chose?"

"Replacing 'abrupt' with 'crazy' would make more sense," he said. "Then I'd say thank you for the apology, but you're always welcome to be crazy, because you're Selphie and that's who you are. I'd never ask you to change that."  
He took another sip of coffee.

She thought of scolding him for calling her crazy, but what the hell, hundreds of people had said that to her before. It didn't bother her. That last part, though…  
He liked who she was. No one had outright said that to her before.

"Irvine," she said, "is it true that you remember all of us when we were younger?"

"Of course," he said. "I didn't need the use of GFs or junctioning like everyone else. As a sniper I'm never really in direct combat. I thought we'd covered that already."

She ignored his sarcasm. "Do you think… That we were friends? You and me?"

"I know we were friends," he confirmed confidently. "Why?"

She shrugged. "I don't know. Just curious, I guess. I feel this strange closeness between us, even though we haven't known each other that long. When we met, I felt like we were already friends, ya know?"

He nodded. "I sure do."

He reached out and placed his arm around her shoulders. For the first time, she didn't knock it off.

He smiled. "You know, it's nice that you're starting to remember things. Once we've been off the GFs for a while, it'll come back."

She nodded. "Maybe."

"Can I ask you some stuff?" he questioned.

"About what?"

"About your life. About yourself. I thought of you, here and there. I see little things, you know, that remind me of you. I always wondered how you were doing."

Selphie speculated the idea of someone halfway around the world thinking of her when she didn't have a clue of his existence. The idea made her feel special, but also a little sad.

"Well, you know I don't remember much… I headed to Trabia from the orphanage. I lived with a few different foster families around the continent. I finally went to Garden when I was… Nine? I think. A Garden instructor met me while I was in public school, thought I had potential and wanted to sponsor me. I was in Trabia until last year, when I transferred to Balamb."

"Why did you decide to transfer?"

"My grades were really good, and I got offers from all the Gardens to take the SeeD exam, which would therefore create my allegiance with that Garden."

Irvine nodded. He felt a little guilty about wondering how the heck attention-deficit Selphie got good grades in school.

"Don't look at me that way. I studied my ass off," she cautioned.

He smiled. "Go on."

"I picked Balamb's offer because…" She paused, thinking it over. "Hmm… It's weird. I started using GFs a lot more then, so it's harder to recall… I think I picked it because their scholarship promised more than the one I received for Galbadia."

"I see," Irvine said, then finished his coffee and put the cup back down on the table. "And that was right before we met."

"Right. I was on my first SeeD mission when I ended up at Galbadia Garden. You know how that went," she waved her hand casually and leaned back in her seat.

"How did you like Trabia?"

"Oh, I really liked it. I liked the cold weather, and the snow. All of the students there are so nice, and the Instructors may not be as prestigious as the ones at other gardens, but they were definitely knowledgeable."

"Sure," Irvine nodded.

"And friendly," she continued. "It was easy to get one-on-one time with a professor if you had questions. The festivals were always a lot of fun. I had a lot of friends. It was great. I miss it a lot sometimes, but… As we get older, school changes for all of us. There's a point where it's not the same, and you can't go back." She looked at her hands in her lap sadly. "But… I wanna go back for a while and help rebuild. I owe it to them. I had a great time there."

"Of course," he said warmly. "I understand why." He smiled at her. "It sounds like you've had a good life so far, Selphie."

She felt herself blush a little, very unlike her. "Oh, yeah, totally. I'm always having fun."

"That's great," he said. "I'm really glad to hear that."

She smiled back at him. "So… What about you?"

"Me?" he said, placing his hand on his chest.

"Yeah! What's your life been like?"

"Well," he started, "no one adopted me, so I lived in foster homes for a while, like you. I wanted to bust out of that situation quick-like, so when I was fourteen, I emancipated myself, worked for a year and made about 6,000 gil. I went to Deiling and turned it into 20,000 gil in one weekend. That was enough for my training, plus a little extra. And because sharp shooting is a specialized skill, I was hired by Galbadia Garden."

"Cool story," Selphie said.

Irvine shrugged. "Thanks."

"How did you turn 6,000 gil into 20,000?"

He laughed. "That can be another story for another day."

"Fine, be that way," she huffed.

They sat together for a while, then Irvine yawned.  
"Well Sefie, I hope that you'll stop by and hang out with me more often."  
He stood and she stood with him.  
"As for me, I am exhausted after everything that happened today. I'm gonna call it a night."

"Yeah…" Selphie nodded. She looked around and noticed that most of the guests had already dispersed. She didn't see Quistis anywhere, either. "I think most everyone has."

He smiled at her. "Would you like an escort back to your room?"

"Why, yes," she said, wrapping her arm around his dramatically. "An escort would be quite nice, thank you."

"It is always my pleasure to be in the company of such a fine lady," he said.  
She laughed. _Dork,_ she thought.

* * *

"It's late," Squall commented as he watched the horizon begin to lighten.

Rinoa still had her head on his shoulder. She had been on the edge of sleep. She looked over at the empty bottle of wine. "Yeah," she agreed.

"Shall we retire?" he asked quietly.

"That sounds good." She lifted herself up on to her feet.

He grabbed the empty bottle and glasses and did the same. She offered to carry them but he refused.

They strolled together through the corridors silently. No one was in the hallway. The sounds of the party had died down. Squall sighed, relieved.

When they reached Rinoa's room, they looked at each other sheepishly.

Though Rinoa had Angelo to keep her company, she still didn't like the idea of being alone. The last few weeks had shaken her, and she wished she could summon the courage to ask Squall to stay. She lacked that courage to do so, and sighed instead.

"So... I'll see you tomorrow?" she said.

Squall nodded in reply. Unsure of whether he should kiss her again, he was pleasantly surprised when she placed a slow kiss on his lips.

"Goodnight, Squall," she said.

"Goodnight, Rinoa."

He watched as she closed the door to her room. He waited, taking in the moment, then turned back to his dorm. As the silence of the hall consumed him, he thought that he wasn't thrilled at the idea of being alone, either.


	4. Hungover in Balamb

Squall turned onto his side, wishing that sleep would come as easily to him as it had the night before. It was an opportunity to be alone, which once was his favorite thing. It was also an opportunity to be in silence, with nothing to distract him from his thoughts, which had always been one of his least favorite things.

A part of him welcomed the solitude. He knew he had to think over everything that had happened. He needed to place everything into perspective. He needed to find a place for the madness between the intervals of sanity.

Squall had been so busy working towards a goal that he had little time to contemplate the new world he lived in. This was a world of sorcery, which he'd read about in school but had little idea of its meaning until now.

 _What does this mean for Rinoa?_

Then there was Rinoa. He'd played a back-and-forth game of feeling attracted to her, then feeling ashamed at himself for wanting another person to be around. He would find himself admiring her, then feel embarrassed at something she said and become annoyed with her. She clearly admired him, but he'd always convinced himself it was for the same reason most women thought they wanted to be with him. They found him attractive and mysterious, but in reality, he was distant, and genuinely cared very little for the whims of the opposite sex. He'd cared very little for almost everything, and found himself now bombarded with passions and emotions he'd spent years trying to repress.

 _Look at what happened,_ he turned to his other side. _I had to almost lose her to realize how I really felt._

Once he'd realized that he did care about her, and that it was in a way different from that of his comrades, it became easier to accept the idea, and begin to open up to her. The excuses he used to give himself to make pushing her away easier seemed trite and were not as convincing as before. He'd felt pushed by everyone to get close to her, and he resented that. Now, he decided that his friends truly did have his best interests in mind, and he needed the pressure. There was something special between the two of them, though he couldn't be sure yet what it was.

 _Destiny..._

Fate, destiny, something most guys would say to make a girl swoon. But after realizing that he had helped shaped the reality he lived in, Squall could no longer claim that fate was out of his hands. Telling Edea to create SeeD placed him where he was today, and Rinoa seemed to be a part of that.

He turned back to his left side. Rinoa was easy to think about, even if he didn't have it all figured out. What troubled him was what he experienced during time compression. Laguna and Ellone wanting to unveil his past troubled him. Edea wanting to tell him more about himself, about Rinoa…

 _Without the GFs... How much will I know? Is that what I want..?_

Squall realized that he couldn't be sure of much of anything until he relinquished the GFs power. Without memories, he could not make sense of the present, much less the past. If he couldn't make sense of the present, the constant frustration and confusion would devour him.

He sat up in bed and swung his legs over the side. His hands went to his face and he rubbed his eyes.

 _I need time to think... We need time to think._

He decided that he wanted to figure things out before heading back to Timber. He would talk with Edea and see Ellone in Esthar first.

 _...To fight... It's all I know..._ He turned to his other side. _Do I really want to take a break? To... Think?_

As little as he desired time to think, he needed it. He needed to sort himself out.

 _I can't do much until then... How would I move on? How could I be with Rinoa?_

He sighed, and looked over at his bedside table. He was tempted to open the drawer and take another one of the pills Dr. Kadawoki had prescribed him for sleeping so long ago. He sighed again, knowing he had to be alert in the morning, and that he was not having a good start at avoiding distraction.

* * *

Quistis awoke with a start. She took a moment to catch her breath and allow her eyes to adjust to the darkness of her room. She went to her bathroom to get a glass of water. As she drank, she told herself to get a grip.

She knew that once she released the GFs, her memories would return. She learned this lesson when she became a SeeD and junctioned a GF for the first time. She'd lost some of her recent memories, and noticed the effect. She marveled at the cost of the GF. She'd been balanced in her approach towards junctioning, but it seemed that she had easily forgotten that lesson when she joined Squall's party.

She sat back down at her bed and shivered, feeling uncomfortable with what she had just witnessed. The memory was sweet, but the familiarity shook her. She hadn't expected memories of her childhood to affect her in such a way. But then again, she had forgotten him.

Quistis grabbed her phone and looked down at it. She doubted his number would work. She placed her phone back down and collapsed back onto her bed.

 _I'll ask Cid,_ she decided, before even contemplating if getting in touch with him was what she wanted.

 _Seifer..._ His name ran through her mind.

 _Where are you? And... Do you remember...?_

* * *

Her crooked lips and smile, the mouth of a psychotic clown, her dark eyes that contained the universe in emptiness. Her hand, a giant claw, reaching out. Rinoa was grabbed, pinned, trapped, no air or range of movement as she watched her friends attack. They came so narrowly close to hitting her and she could do nothing to defend herself. This same entity that threatened to leave her in the depths of space. This same being that Rinoa would become herself one day.

And Seifer. His eyes, the ones she knew so well, looking feverishly at her, wanting her power, wanting to please his masters. And all she could think about was that she had trusted him.  
The depths of space, again no air, no one to hear the screams in the silence that surrounds. Her mask shattered, and the cold that instantly entered her told her she would die.

Squall falling to the street below, ice impaled his chest. She screamed.

Rinoa awoke. Her sudden movement startled her canine companion, who also jumped at the motion. Rinoa closed her eyes and sighed. She was growing more and more accustomed to disturbing images and dreams.

She could only pray that they would not one day consume her.

She did what she always did on nights like these. She took a few slow breaths, calmed herself, then put her head in her hands and cried.

* * *

Selphie slammed her hand down on the table.

"That's it," she declared, "I'm not gonna wait any longer - I'm gonna eat."  
She impaled a small sausage link and shoved it in her mouth. As she chewed it, an annoyed look was apparent on her face.

"Late, late," she continued, swallowing the food in her mouth. "Late, late, late, and all of 'em today!" She shook her head in despair. "What's become of the world?"

Quistis took another long sip of her coffee before she said anything, allowing herself a personal moment of peace.

"Selphie, not everyone wants to be up at the crack of dawn. Not everyone wants to show up to breakfast right when the cafeteria opens, which is _six a.m._ , might I add," she said, a trace of spite eluding her. "Look at this place- we're practically the only ones in here. Moreover, everyone at Garden is probably still sleeping last night off."

Selphie scoffed. "Whatever - six is not that early! And we all agreed on six- _thirty_ ,"

Quistis rolled her eyes at Selphie's disregard for her point.  
"I'm only here at six-thirty because _you_ drag me out of bed every morning. Sometimes, you literally drag me out of bed." She sighed, thinking of the many hours of sleep that had been robbed of by Selphie's aberrant amount of energy.

Selphie ignored her comment, again. "Even Squall's late," she added, lifting her glass of juice to her lips. "He's never late," she mumbled.

Quistis smirked and leaned back in her chair. "Oh, I'm sure he's late every once and a while,"

"Please - you don't wanna know how many conversations I've had to have in the early a.m. with him over breakfast," Selphie groaned.

Quistis doubted that there was anyone who would be unwillingly forced to converse with Squall. "Really?" she blinked.

"Well… More like times I've talked and he's sat there silently."

"Ah," Quistis said. _That makes more sense._

"It's kind of like talking to a wall," Selphie mused, sounding very philosophical at the thought.

 _Definitely,_ Quistis agreed. She remembered well the times she tried to have a serious, non-work-related conversation with him and thought she would get somewhere. She nodded.

The girls turned as Irvine came into their sight with his tray.  
He took the seat next to Selphie.  
"Good morning, ladies," he bowed.

"Hi, Irvine," Selphie said casually as she filled her mouth with a piece of toast.

"Good morning," Quistis nodded in his direction

Irvine poured himself a cup of coffee and eagerly finished it.  
He sighed, pleased.  
"So, what's our itinerary for today?"

"Hey!" Selphie said, aggressively piercing another sausage. "Briefing isn't until everyone gets here!"

"Well, we're not supposed to eat without each other, either," he noted, eyeing the sausage on her fork.

Selphie frowned. "Well… They're late, and I'm hungry,"

"Hey," he raised his hands, "they're your rules anyway."

"They're definitely group-wide rules," Selphie disagreed.

Irvine crossed his arms and looked to Quistis. She sighed.

"They're your rules, Selphie," she confirmed. "We just follow them to avoid evoking your wrath."

"Fine!" Selphie pouted. "As the President of Rule-Making, I'm revoking the eating rule, but preserving the briefing rule! So there!"

Irvine shrugged. "Whatever you say, Selph. I'm gonna grab another pot," he took the empty coffee pot from the table.

"Today, I think, get two," Quistis said.

He nodded and took off to the other end of the cafeteria, but not without chatting up a few female students on the way.

"If he keeps that up, he'll have a group of followers like I do," Quistis mumbled.

Selphie laughed. "Yeah, right. Please."

A grumbling sound and heavy steps approached them. The girls turned to watch as Zell dragged his feet toward the table. He looked like the walking dead. When he reached the table, he plopped down into a seat with a thud. He blinked, his eyelids heavy. The girls could only look at one other in curiousity.

"Good morning, Zell," Quistis said, her voice gentle.

He held his hand up, silently commanding them to cease their pleasantries. He observed the table and noticed no extra mugs or coffee. He grumbled under his breath.

"No coffee?" was all he could manage to get out.

Fortunately Irvine returned with everything soon after. He smiled at Zell as he placed it on the table. "Mornin', Zell."

Zell shook his head, his hand again up in protest. He reached for the coffee pot and a mug. Normally he liked coffee with cream and lots of sugar. Today he poured a cup by itself, drank its entire contents, and refilled it again. He made a nauseated face at the boldness of its dark, pure flavor. He shook his head and blinked again.

"Okay. Good morning, everyone."

"Hi," Selphie said, holding back a smirk.

"Rough night?" Quistis asked.

"Ugh," Zell scoffed. "Too long."

"What'd ya do?" Selphie asked as she spread jam on more toast.

He thought for a moment as if it were difficult to recall.  
"I drank a lot. Sparred with… Some guys. Drank more. Then I made a comment about my hypothetical relations with this guy's mother and I got into a real fight."

Selphie snickered. "Drinkin' and fightin', huh?"

"It's fun while it lasts," he shrugged. "But I feel like shit the next morning."

"I wish I could have seen that," Quistis confessed.

Irvine shook his head as he poured himself another cup of coffee. "So you were just with a bunch of guys last night? There wasn't a certain female book-advocate involved?"  
The girls turned to Zell at this question, also curious to know the answer.

Zell took a piece of toast from Selphie's plate bit off a piece.  
"Yeah, we chilled for a while," he said in between bites.

The rest of the group waited for him to elaborate.  
After a while, he shrugged. "She hung around for the first couple fights. But she was tired, so she went back to her room. I didn't see her for the rest of the night."

"No one-on-one time?" Quistis lifted a brow.

"That doesn't count?" Zell asked. Quistis and Irvine sighed.

"I think watching someone fight is kind of cool," Selphie perked up.

"You would," Quistis mumbled.

"It's all right, man." Irvine said. "There will be many opportunities to come."

Zell ignored that comment as he looked around the table. "Is it just me, or do the _four_ of us seem to be hanging out a lot more lately?"  
He gestured toward the two empty seats between Quistis and him.

"Okay, this is just crazy," Selphie said, throwing her hand down for a second time. " _Don't_ be late for breakfast - that was rule number one section four of the friend slash colleague mutual breakfast agreement that Squall and I constructed! Now Squall is violating the terms of the breakfast agreement himself?" she whined. "I don't like unpredictable Squall - I don't like it one bit!"

"Selphie, calm down," Quistis urged. "It's not _crazy_ … He's just doing his own thing. Give him some space. We have to respect each other's differences if we're going to remain close friends in the long-run."

Selphie ignored her comment. "I mean, he could be possessed, or even replaced by a robot. Doesn't that creep you out?"

"It seems more like he's exuding human characteristics to me," Irvine pondered. "Robots aren't late for breakfast. And, you know, they don't eat. They consume sustenance."

"Oh yeah? Well I said that Squall was kind of creepy last night, and _you_ made fun of me!" Zell huffed. He snatched a piece of bacon from Irvine's plate and bit off a piece in a pout.

"Dude, are you ever gonna get your own plate?" Irvine asked, shaking his head in annoyance.

"I always grab two of everything," Quistis advised.

Zell ignored them. "It totally bugs me. What happened to the guy we met a few years ago who would barely say two words to anybody? It's like Squall's okay around people now. He's confident, more expressive... That's not a good combination."

"You would know," Irvine said, his arms folded.

Zell ignored that too. "I like Rinoa. Honestly, I'm worried about him being too harsh on her."

"I know!" Selphie agree.

"Selphie," Irvine scolded, "you're just mad because he's late for breakfast. Stop that. Remember, match-makers?" He pointed to himself, then to her, then to himself again.

"Oh, right," she nodded. She smiled at him. "They are cute."

"And Zell, you're just jealous because you have pent up issues over Sora. Ask her out already."

Zell rolled his eyes, but hadn't the fight in him, so he sipped on his coffee and grumbled.

Selphie looked away with a sigh. "I guess… I'm just scared that Squall and Rinoa won't be around us as much anymore. Don't get me wrong - it's not like I particularly _enjoy_ his company. But, while I'm here, he's my leader. And Rinoa is one of my besties!"

"I understand," Irvine nodded. "It's hard to accept that people go their separate ways – especially when it comes to love."

"Right," Selphie agreed.

"Ugh, don't even say it that way! _Love_ ," Zell huffed.

"You'll get used to it, Zell. Especially if you finally make the moves on library lady," Irvine shrugged.

Selphie snickered. "Library lady, I like that."

Zell seemed lost in thought as he ignored their comments. "…I wonder what's gonna happen to us now," he said after a while. The others nodded in agreement – they were all wondering where their lives would go from here. "Are we gonna carry out missions individually, or as a squad?"

Quistis shrugged. "Probably both. And squads are always assigned by a superior."

"Who is now Squall," Irvine noted.

"Yeah," Zell said. "Do you think he'll assign us on missions with him?"

"If he wants," Quistis said.

"Why not?" Irvine inquired.

"Speak of the devil," Selphie said as she gestured toward the entrance.

Squall approached their table hurriedly and took the seat next to Zell.  
The others were puzzled by his unusually nervous demeanor.  
"Hey," he said nonchalantly as he sat down. He grabbed a cup and the coffee pot.

"Well," Selphie said, crossing her arms with a scowl, "look who decided to show up."

Squall eyed her maliciously and filled his cup with coffee. He knew he'd get shit from her the first time he showed up late. He returned the pot to the center of the table, not bothering to acknowledge her beyond returning the scowl.

"How was your night, Squall?" Quistis asked, changing the subject.

He shrugged indifferently. "Fine."

They all waited, willing him to go on. He decided not to elaborate and sipped on his coffee silently.

"Well," Selphie turned to Quistis. "Despite his attempt to retain his harsh façade, you can still tell that he's only half-glowing. I'd call that a solid make-out session, at least."  
Quistis laughed.

"That's what I was gonna say," Irvine interjected.

Squall rolled his eyes. It seemed that no matter how hard he tried to put walls up, the walls were made of glass.

"Hey man, congrats," Zell said, gripping Squall's shoulder.  
Squall cringed inwardly at the contact.  
"Apparently, I blew it last night," Zell said. "You think chicks don't dig watching you fight?"

Squall blinked. "What?"

"Watching you fight," Zell repeated. "You think Rinoa would like to watch you spar?"

 _Last time I sparred, I think Rinoa would have freaked_ , Squall thought, remembering the blood spill from Seifer's face from his upward slice. He touched the scar on his face subconsciously.

"I don't know. She's seen me fight plenty of times. I don't think it would be anything special."

"Bad analogy, I guess," Zell noted.

"Where is the princess, anyway?" Irvine asked.

They all looked to Squall for an answer. Normally, he'd play it like he didn't know, or care. But he couldn't seem to fool them before, so why try now? Plus he didn't want to come across as cold – not when it came to Rinoa, and not so soon after their confessions.

"She'll be here," he said.

That was obviously not enough for the rest of them, as they continued to watch him in silent anticipation. He sighed to himself.

"Hey guys," Rinoa conveniently appeared with her usual cheerful smile. She placed her tray down, taking the last seat by Squall.

Her voice had startled him. He cursed himself for not being more aware of his surroundings. He wondered how much she'd heard.

"Good morning, Rinoa," Irvine said politely, "you're looking particularly lovely today."

"Why, thank you Irvine," she said, her smile bright and her skin glowing.

Squall agreed, she was particularly lovely. He'd always thought she was attractive, but nothing really special. How had he never noticed the subtle things before? The healthy shine in her perfectly straight hair, how her highlights drew the eye to her face. How her eyes seemed to sparkle when she smiled. Her voice, soft and passionate. Her skin was a perfect cream color and soft, and she smelt like some kind of flower. Vanilla, maybe.

He shook his head, ridding himself of the thoughts. He felt almost sick – when had he become so love- and lust-struck? A little affection was fine. But this was borderline cheesy. He wasn't sure he liked the change. He caught himself staring at her again, and quickly turned his attention back to his food.

"Ugh, why do you always get the boring stuff, Rinoa?" Zell asked.

"Oh," Rinoa said, startled. "Sorry, Zell, you usually eat off of everyone else's,"

Squall pulled his plate closer to him, remembering that small detail and regretting that he chose the seat next to Zell.

"But, if it makes you feel better, I grabbed biscuits for you," Rinoa said.

"Biscuits! Are they hot?" he asked excitedly, rubbing his hands together in anticipation.

Rinoa giggled at his child-like charm. "Of course, just how you like them." She smiled and offered her plate to him.  
He pulled the biscuits off, gathered them into his arms and bit into one.

"Selphie, can we do the itinerary now?" Irvine asked.

"Yes! The briefing!" Selphie said excitedly.

Rinoa looked embarrassed. "I'm sorry to have kept you - you guys should've started without me."

"Absolutely not," Selphie refused. "You have to be present for the itinerary too, Rinny. Rule five, section one."

Rinoa shrugged and poked at her food with her fork.

"What's on the schedule? Squall?" Selphie asked.  
The others turned to Squall and waited.

Squall took a moment before he spoke.

"I'll need your help completing the reports to Cid."

Zell rolled his eyes. "What's the point in writing all of these reports of Cid doesn't even read 'em?"

Squall sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "You know what? Just for that, I'm handing the Lunar Cry over to you."

"Tch," Zell crossed his arms over his chest. "Whatever. Like I'm gonna write the full report on that."

"I'll make sure you do," Squall promised, his voice firm.

"Yes Commander," Zell mumbled, his dutiful side trumping his pride.

"Can I write about the castle Squall? Pretty please?" Selphie bat her eyes.

Squall shrugged. "Whatever. Just make sure you include things other than the chains."

He nodded his head toward Quistis. "Quistis, I need you to meet with Xu and see what she needs to get classes back up and running."

"Squall," Quistis grimaced, "They took my license."

Squall waved his hand. "Handle administrative stuff for now. We can deal with relicensure later, if that's what you want."

Quistis shrugged. "I'll think about it."

"Selphie, Irvine," Squall turned his attention to them, "think about your futures. If you need to, get your transfer work in." He lifted his hand. "We're happy to give you positions here, as well."

The spunky girl and the cowboy both nodded. "Thanks, Squall," Selphie said.

Squall nodded, then turned his attention back to the others. "We could all use some quiet for the time being," he said, "I doubt anyone is in a hurry to jump back into another mission."  
The others nodded in agreement.

"We also need time to feel out the political situations in Galbadia and Esthar," he continued. "Cid informed me this morning that he would be attending a conference in FH. He's meeting with representatives from Deiling, Dollet and Esthar to discuss how to proceed after the war. We can only hope that they'll agree to some terms of peace."  
"War's been too long," Irvine groaned, leaning his chin on his hand.

"When Laguna returns to Esthar," Squall said, "I'll head out there to negotiate the use of the Ragnarok." He had his personal reasons for the trip but had exactly no interest in sharing that with the others. He looked over at Rinoa, then back at the others.

Squall looked stern. "Then... We'll dispatch to Timber. SeeD will remain there until the terms of the contract are fulfilled."

Rinoa smiled at him. He shied away from her, then turned to Zell.

"Zell, I'll need you there with us. I need a heavy-hitter. Quiet."

"Hurray," Zell grumbled, finishing another cup of coffee.

"Long story short," Squall said with a slight sigh, "get those reports in, and you'll all be free until further notice. Use this time to clear your heads and be sure you're ready for your next mission."

The others nodded in agreement, relieved they had some downtime.

"What about you, Squall?" Rinoa asked, giving him a look of concern that was eerily comforting to him.

The others suddenly seemed to remember him and looked to him, sharing her curiosity.

"Yeah," Quistis agreed. "You should take some time for yourself too, Squall."

Squall's arms crossed over his chest and he shrugged. "I have some time before Esthar." He met eyes with Rinoa. "But we want to get to Timber soon..."

Rinoa frowned slightly and bit her lip, but she nodded in understanding. Depending on Timber's situation, she intended to give him as much time as she could before they went.

"Well, as for what's happening today," Quistis said, changing the subject, "Rinoa, do you want to come with Selphie and me to Balamb? We're gonna get ourselves some much-earned shopping hours in."

"Sure," Rinoa accepted happily. "I could really use some more clothes!"

"Well, I say that calls for some guy-time," Irvine suggested.  
He turned to Squall and Zell. "What say we go out drinking and pick up some chicks?"

"No more drinking…" Zell begged.

Squall remained silent. _Since when did I ever do any of that?_

"Come on, guys," Irvine protested. "How often do we hang out?"

" _We_ hang out all the time," Zell said.

"Sorry. I have work here to do," Squall said.

Zell turned to Irvine. "How about we go out into the fields and you let me try out your gun," he proposed.

Irvine thought for a second. "That sounds… Like a terrible idea. But, okay."

"Really?" Zell exclaimed.

Irvine shrugged. "Sure. I'll just stand very, very, _very_ far away."

"Sweet," Zell said, pulling his fist down. "Kick ass."

"Just make sure you go deep into the forest," Squall cautioned.

"Yeah, yeah," Irvine waved his hand dismissively. "We'll be fine."

"I'd better get going," Squall said. He stood and lifted his empty plate and cup from the table. "Xu's probably wondering where the hell I am."

Quistis looked down at her watch. "It's almost eight-thirty. You'd better hurry."

He nodded and sighed to himself.  
He thought of making some comment about how yes, he could tell time, but he shrugged it off.  
He looked to Rinoa. "Be careful," he cautioned.

She smiled at him. _It's only Balamb – should I be careful of the fish?_ But his concern was sweet, so she indulged him with a nod.  
Squall nodded to the others and left.

"Poor thing," Quistis said after he was gone. "If anyone deserves a break, he does."

"I don't even know what he would do with himself. I think he likes to stay busy," Selphie said.

"Probably," Quistis agreed, but she sighed.

She wished she knew how to help him.  
She looked at Rinoa. "You need to distract the guy. Give him a reason to hang loose."

Rinoa nodded. "I'll see what I can do," she said, a little unsure of what she could do.

"Hey, if anyone can, you can," Irvine added. "The more clothing you remove, the less he'll work - trust me."

Rinoa laughed as Selphie forcefully punched Irvine in the arm.

"Ow," he said, rubbing his arm. "What? It's true."

"It is," Zell confirmed.

Quistis scoffed. "You guys are animals." She turned to Rinoa. "It is true, though," she mumbled with a shrug.

"Come on," Selphie said anxiously, "let's go to Balamb. This Garden is suffocating me."

Rinoa lifted her brows. "Already?"

"Miss the Ragnarok?" Quistis asked.

"Oo! Can we fly it to Balamb?" Selphie asked.

"That's… A little pointless," Quistis noted.

Rinoa laughed. "It'll be a nice walk. We can take the ship out later."

Selphie pouted, but nodded in agreement. "Well, let's get outta here."

She gathered the nearby empty plates and stacked them neatly. Rinoa and Quistis followed her lead.

"Bye, guys," Rinoa waved.

"Have fun," Quistis said.

"Please don't kill Irvine, Zell," Selphie called.

"Tch," Zell crossed his arms. "They act like I'm blind or somethin'."

Irvine shrugged. "Not _blind_. Just a little… Impulsive, maybe."

"Let's go shoot some shit," Zell said as he stood, as if he hadn't heard Irvine at all.

Irvine sighed inwardly and stood with him. "Right. Okay. What should we kill first?"

"Freaking bitebugs. I hate them," Zell sneered.

"They're totally harmless, Zell."

"Whatever - their bites makes you itch! Let's go."

 _Oh well,_ Irvine thought. Today was all about Zell's entertainment, apparently. He followed Zell out of the cafeteria and eventually out of Garden.

* * *

"Squall," Xu came up to the bridge with a smile.

"Hey, Xu," Squall said, not bothering to turn away from the scenery.  
"Hey Nida," she added, and Nida gave her a wave of his hand.

"Cid called. He just wanted to check in. He's arrived in FH safely, and they've completed the first round of negotiations in just a few hours. They're making a lot of progress."

"Great," Squall said, still staring out the window.

"I told him the status of everything here," Xu continued. "Dr. Kadowaki is looking to recruit some medics. We've seen a loss of interest in the field. Everybody wants to be on the offense," she shrugged again. "She mentioned Rinoa's name."

Squall turned to face her. "Rinoa?" he repeated.

Xu smiled. _That got his attention._ Xu had been wondering for a while what they were going to do with Rinoa if she stayed. She was obviously an important member of the team, as well as a valuable asset to Garden.

"Yeah," she continued. "If Rinoa's planning on staying at Garden, Dr. Kadowaki wants to offer her a job. She thinks her magic could be of use to us. Her healing capabilities far surpass anyone's here. Selphie was mentioned too, but I know she's planning to leave Balamb. Rinoa, on the other hand," she said, lifting one hand, "if she wants to stick around, she'd probably like to be behind the scenes for a while - don't you think? She wouldn't have to become a SeeD, and she'd get paid. What do you think?" she asked.

Squall remained silent for a moment, thinking it over.

He knew Rinoa wouldn't be interested in becoming a SeeD. It wasn't in her nature.

The structure would bore her and there would be no room for her passion.

Then when it came to necessary combat…

At first he hadn't understood why she felt so opposed to SeeD. It took him a while to understand that, but as he grew to know her, he realized what she'd meant. Rinoa was peaceful.  
Although she was fiery and physically strong, she was also delicate, and just didn't really fit into the battle scene. He remembered looking over at her during battle time after time just to ensure her safety. She always fought well, and fought to the end - but she always had fear in her eyes.  
She always had a look of regret.

It pained him to see her suffer silently. But he'd had no choice in the matter, nor did he have a choice in Rinoa's decisions now. All he could do was be there to protect her, to relinquish the fear from her eyes.

"Squall?" Xu asked.

"Sorry," he said out of habit. "I was just thinking about what you said. I'm not sure what to tell you. I'll ask Rinoa about it. But… I don't know what she'll say," he confessed.

"Why not? You think she doesn't want to be here?" Xu asked.  
Nida turned ever so slightly, then went back to piloting.

Squall grimaced a bit at the thought and Xu waved her hand.

"Oh, I'm sorry. That was intrusive. If you'd like to be the one to approach her about it, I'll let Dr. Kadowaki know."

"Yeah," he nodded, "thanks."

"Cid asked me to gather intel on Timber for you," Xu added.

"Right," Squall said, remembering Timber. He'd e-mailed Cid about it a few hours earlier. The man worked fast. He hoped the Galbadians had tired of the place during the war. He hoped the Timber people were more organized, but he couldn't be sure. He hoped for a lot, but didn't expect much.

"I'm sending a scout out there today. In a few days, his intel combined with Cid's should be enough to make a plan," she lifted her hand. "I'll let you know when I have it."

Squall nodded. "I'll depart for Esthar in a few days. When I return, whatever needs to happen in Timber can be put into motion."

He turned back. "Nida," he said, and Nida looked over his shoulder at him.  
"While I'm gone, find the White SeeD ship. We need two of their passengers."

"Sure thing," Nida said, adjusting the throttle.

Squall turned back to Xu. "We need them for the Timber mission."

"You're using white SeeDs for the mission?" Xu asked.

"No," Squall scoffed and almost laughed. "Two of the Timber resistance members are on the ship."

"I see," Xu said. "Let's hope he can find it, then," she shrugged.

"You're telling me," Nida grumbled.

Squall shrugged. _Sorry, Nida._

"Sorry to be rude, Nida," Xu said, and received a curious look from him, "I need to speak with Squall alone for a second."

Nida merely gave an uninterested shrug.  
Xu gestured for Squall to ride the lift with her, and he agreed.

When they were in the lobby, Xu wrung her wrists. "Squall, could I ask you something... Personal?"

Squall didn't like 'personal.' "Depends," he said.

"It's about Rinoa," she said cautiously.

 _Of course it is,_ Squall thought. 'Personal' seemed to equal 'Rinoa' these days. He longed for the days when no one cared about his personal life. "What is it?" he asked.

She didn't quite know how to phrase it. "Is it true that you guys are, well, involved? You know, romantically?" Xu was as awkward about relationships as Squall was – but she felt it was important to know.

"…Why do you ask?" he wondered.

"Oh," she said, startled, though it seemed she did owe him an explanation.  
"I mean, you know, I like to know what's going on around Garden. It's nothing _important_. It's just, well, Cid mentioned you two, her needing a job here, and all..."

Squall lifted his hand to his head. _Ugh. Cid._

"So, as you can see… I am simply curious," Xu admitted.

He hated having to think of ways to express their relationship. They hadn't even defined it yet themselves, how were they supposed to describe it to everyone else?

"We are romantically involved, yes, to a certain degree," he said. _Smooth_.

Xu blinked. _A SeeD commander involved with a sorceress...?_ This discussion was becoming awkward enough so she decided not to press the issue.

"Great!" she exclaimed. "Just great! Sorry Squall, I didn't mean to get into your personal life like that."

He shrugged. "I don't think mine even exists, anymore."

She frowned. "Hey, don't think of it that way. Think of it as adoration from your peers. You're like a movie star or something."

"Hurray," he groaned.

She laughed. "Don't worry about it. _I'll_ leave your personal life alone now - how about that?"

"One off my list," he said.

She laughed again. "Well, let me know if you need anything. I'm getting out of this office for a while."

"Sure," he said, turning back to the lift.

She sighed, turned and left without a goodbye.  
As she rode the lift back up to the bridge, she thought of the conversation that had just transpired.  
 _Oh well,_ she thought. _Nida is kind of cute._

* * *

Quistis and Rinoa had gone ahead to the pub, leaving Selphie behind to try on a few more pairs of shoes. Neither the instructor nor the sorceress were willing to wait that out on an empty stomach.

As they entered the pub, there was a distinct odor of beer and cigars. Rinoa heard Quistis say "three," then followed her and a waitress to a table in the corner. She placed her bags on the ground and fell into the seat, sighing.

"What a day," she breathed.

"Yeah," Quistis said, placing her bags down.

The waitress came back with beverage napkins and utensils. She placed them in front of the girls and smiled happily. "What can I get you?"

"Vodka tonic, please." Quistis ordered.

"Oh, um, just a glass of red wine for me, please," Rinoa said.

"Sure. I'll be right back with that." The waitress turned and left as quickly as she came.

"You seem like you need a drink," Rinoa observed, crossing her arms and leaning them on the table.

"Yeah," Quistis scoffed. She shook her head. "Sorry, Rinoa. I didn't sleep well last night. I'm a little on-edge today."

Rinoa could relate to the feeling. "What's up?" she asked.

Rinoa seemed like the last person Quistis would want to have this conversation with. Then again, the sorceress might have more sympathy for her than any of the others. Quistis took a moment to think it over, but noticed when Rinoa gave her a concerned look. She decided she may as well talk about it.

The waitress returned, placed their drinks on the table and left. Rinoa took a sip from her wine. Quistis took a long sip from her cocktail, as well.

"Ready?" Rinoa asked with a playful grin.

"Yeah," Quistis grinned. She took a breath. "I had a dream last night. Well, I thought it was only a dream, but I realized it was one of my childhood memories returning."

"Something you didn't remember?" Rinoa blinked. "Because of the GFs?"

Quistis nodded. "Since I sat out Ultimecia, it's been a few days since I was junctioned."

"I see," Rinoa said. "Seems like the GFs return memories as quickly as they take them away."

Quistis nodded. "I dreamt of Edea's orphanage."

Rinoa blinked. "That's nice, right?"

Quistis bit her lip. "I dreamt about Seifer."

"Oh," Rinoa said.

Rinoa paused as she thought over Seifer. She had to live with what he'd done. She wasn't sure how she felt about that, nor did she know what would become of him after everything. She had cared deeply for him not that long ago, and it was strange to feel any other way about him.

"Seifer," Rinoa repeated, her voice barely above a whisper.  
She met Quistis's dark blue eyes.  
"What's going to happen to him?"

Quistis sighed slightly, then regained her professional composure.  
"He's avoiding trial – for now. His freedom, as well as Edea's, depends on how friendly Galbadia and Garden want to be with each other. Cid will protect Edea at any cost. His loyalty to Seifer? I'm not so sure..."

"As pissed as I am at him," Rinoa said, "I hope he turns out... Okay."

"Yeah," Quistis agreed. "He's not a bad guy."

"Quistis," Rinoa began, "why do I feel that you may feel differently about him than the others do?"

"Because you're observant," Quistis smirked, placing her hand over her friend's before removing it.

"So, tell me," Rinoa commanded. "Why would remembering something about Seifer bother you?"

"It completely conflicted with everything I know about him," Quistis sighed, taking another long sip of her drink.

Rinoa's expecting stare encouraged her to continue.

"He was my most troubled student. He drove me crazy. He was always arrogant and rude. And when I thought he'd been executed, I shrugged it off, knowing that was a part of mercenary life."

Rinoa tilted her head. "But your memory was different?"

"Yes," Quistis shook her head. "...It could not have been more different..."

"Quistis," Rinoa sighed, "I can't exactly help you if you don't tell me what you mean." Being direct herself, she had little sympathy for those who took a long time to express themselves.

"Fair," Quistis decided. She looked back up at her friend and hesitated one more time before revealing her secret. "He... He was different, when we were younger. I mean, he was still a jerk... But he was nice. To me. We were friends."

"I'm sure you all were," Rinoa offered.

"It's... Something different. Something between the two of us." Quistis wasn't sure how else she could explain it, since she didn't understand it herself.

"So," Rinoa said, leaning back in her chair. She lifted her hand. "What will you do?"

"Do?" Quistis repeated.

"You gotta figure this out, right?" Rinoa put a finger to her lip. "Maybe, when you remember more, you could talk about it with him?"

Quistis blinked. "You think so?" She had thought the same thing and was glad to know someone else shared her sentiment.

"Yeah!" Rinoa nodded. "You gotta settle your past before you can move on to the future."

"That's why you're going back to Timber?" Quistis asked.

"Yep," Rinoa nodded again. "I couldn't do anything else! Timber means so much to me."

"I'm curious, Rinoa," Quistis began hesitantly. "You would be okay with me talking to Seifer?"  
She met Rinoa's eyes, her face betraying her worry.  
"What he did to you..." She looked away. "...He has a lot to atone for."

"True," Rinoa sighed. "But this isn't about me. It's about you two. And if it gives you peace of mind, Quistis, then I'll be okay."

Quistis smiled, placing her hand back over Rinoa's. "You're a good friend, Rinoa."

Rinoa smiled, placing her other hand over theirs. "Get what you want and never let anyone stop you."

Quistis smiled uncomfortably. "Is that what you do?"

Rinoa nodded. "Damn right. And you get hurt over and over again. You'd think I'd never forgive Seifer for something like that – but I already have, even though it still hurts. Life goes on past all of the pain. And how would you ever know what would happen if you didn't try? Go for it, and don't think twice about it." She shrugged. "Leap of faith."

"You know," Quistis said, "I believe I remember saying something like that to Squall."

"What do you mean?" Rinoa asked.

Quistis folded her arms. "When the Esthar soldiers took you… I told him he should go after you, get what we wanted, and that he was a fool if he did otherwise."

"Really?" Rinoa grinned.

Quistis nodded.

"Thanks, Quistis. I appreciate that," Rinoa said. " _Really_ , I do. I wouldn't want to be stuck there right now, that's for sure."  
The girls shared a laugh.  
"You're a good friend, too, Quistis."

"Hi!" Selphie's voice made them both jump.  
She plopped down into the seat next to Quistis.  
"Sorry that took me for-ev-er, but the line was sooo long."

She dropped her bags down beside her and motioned for the waitress.

When she approached, Selphie ordered a shot of whiskey and a pilsner. The waitress nodded and left. Selphie turned back to the other girls.

Quistis raised her eyebrows. "My, off to a good start today, Selphie. And at lunchtime."

"Why not?" Selphie shrugged and crossed her arms. "Who knows how many you've had already. I have to catch up. So," Selphie said, taking a sip from Quistis's cocktail, "what were you guys talking about before I got here?"

"Actually," Quistis said, jumping on the opportunity, "Rinoa was just about to tell me about her night with Squall."

She cupped her chin and held her elbow, eyeing Rinoa mischievously.

Rinoa rolled her eyes. _Nice, Quistis,_ she thought. _And after our cute bonding moment._

"Oh, please," Selphie cooed, leaning in. "Do go on. I hope I didn't miss much."

Rinoa knew she wouldn't get out of it, and laughed. "It's was great," she cooed.

The other girls waited for more as they eyed her. Selphie drummed her fingers on the table.

Rinoa thought to herself for a moment. She had to make a decision. Was she going to be the type of girl who spilled all of the details to her friends? Or would she be the secretive and modest type? She wondered which type would please Squall more, but it didn't take her long to figure it out. Then she wondered which type she'd rather play. _Hmm… Tough call,_ she thought, placing her hand to her chin.

The waitress returned with Selphie's drinks. She placed them on the table, smiled, and was gone again. Selphie took a long sip from her beer.

"Okay, I see you disputing yourself over there," Selphie said, interrupting Rinoa's thoughts.

Rinoa looked up. "Huh?"

"Spill it. You're hiding something from us. And you're wondering if Squall would get pissed if we knew all the dirty details. Well lemme tell _you_ something - " she pointed her finger at Rinoa, "we can handle Squall. So you'd better open up and start trusting us, little miss - now!"

Rinoa laughed and shook her head. "I can't hide anything from you guys, can I?"

Quistis and Selphie shook their heads assuredly.

"We'll make it easy for you," Quistis said. She crossed her arms and leaned back in her chair. "Did he kiss you?"

"Yes," Rinoa answered.

Selphie squealed. "Ooo I can't believe it! I'll drink to that!"  
Quistis rolled her eyes at Selphie as she watched her down the shot of whiskey. Selphie twisted her face in displeasure at the taste as she placed the shot glass back down.

Quistis turned back to Rinoa. "More than once?" she asked. Rinoa grinned in response, the blush coming to her cheeks.

"Ahhh oh my gooood!" Selphie squealed. "I wish I had another shot!"

"Did he ask you out?"

"What do you mean?" Rinoa blinked.

Quistis lifted her palm. "You know, did he ask you to be his girlfriend? Or, whatever."

"Oh, uh, I… Don't think so," Rinoa answered.

"Hmph," Selphie crossed her arms as well. "Doesn't surprise me. What I _cannot_ believe is that he actually went for it."

"Me either," Quistis said, shaking her head.

"Hey, come on, guys, what makes you say that?" Rinoa said.

Selphie shrugged. "I dunno. I just figured he didn't... _Do_ … Stuff like that."

"Like what?" Rinoa asked.

"Kissed girls, or, anyone, for that matter..."

"Has he never kissed a girl before?" Rinoa wondered.

"I dunno," Selphie said. "Quistis?" They turned to the blonde.

Quistis smirked. "Well, obviously I can't be sure. He's definitely never kissed _me_. But…" She smiled.

She knew something. "Spill it," Selphie said.

Quistis leaned back in her chair. "He dated some girl from Trabia a while back. At least, that's what Xu said."

" _Who_ in Trabia?" Selphie asked.

Quistis laughed. "Like I know,"

"I bet I know who it was," Selphie said. "I'm totally asking Xu."

"Okay, okay guys. I get it," Rinoa said, holding her hand up. "He has a history. So why are you all so doubtful of him?"

Quistis shrugged. "He's just always been so strange about those kinds of things, I guess. He's a total introvert,"

Selphie nodded in agreement. "Definitely. It's like he doesn't want _anyone_ to get close to him."

"Right," Quistis said. "Who knows why. But," she turned back to Rinoa, "I am really glad that he feels like he can open up to you. That's great. And it's comforting to know he has a sex drive."

"Robots don't have sex drives," Selphie noted.  
Quistis rolled her eyes.

"I guess so," Rinoa shrugged, ignoring the robot comment.

"Totally." Selphie nodded.

"We only want what's best for Squall. And we want you to be happy, too." Quistis placed her hand over Rinoa's. "If he turns into a total douche, I want you to let us know, and we'll help you through it. Don't let him do or say anything that makes you unsure. Remember… He saved your life because he loves you, not because you're his property or because he had to. Whatever he says or does… Don't forget that, ever."

Selphie nodded. "Totally," she repeated. "He doesn't mean half the mean shit he says - I know it."

"Yeah," Rinoa agreed, "it took me a while to realize it, but you're right. I feel that way, too." She smiled. "He's okay once you get to know him."

The waitress approached the table again and motioned to Quistis and Selphie's empty drinks.

"Another round?" she asked.

"Please," Quistis said, nodding.

"Keep 'em comin,'" Selphie said Ward-style, finishing the last of her beer.


	5. It's Complicated

"What's up?" Squall asked after he entered the lobby.

Xu stood by the desk along the wall. "You got a call," she said, holding up the phone.

"A call?" he wondered. He crossed his arms over his chest. "Cid?"

"Nope!" Xu grinned.

 _...This is a first,_ he thought. _Who the hell is calling me?_

"It's the president of _Esthaaar_ ," Xu mused. "You know he was in one of my favorite movies?"

 _Favorite?_ Squall blinked. _Bad taste..._

She passed him the phone. "Better hurry up and answer it! Luckyyy,"

Squall took the phone and shooed her away.  
Xu went back up to the bridge, amused with herself.  
He took a deep breath, then lifted the receiver to his ear.

"This is Squall."

" _Squall, hey_ ," he heard Laguna's voice on the other end. " _I figured if I held on long enough, they had to find you somewhere_."

Squall heard Laguna laugh. He rolled his eyes.  
"I guess so. What can I do for you?"

" _Well, as you know, I've got Ellone here with me in Esthar_ ,"

Squall nodded. "Yes."

He must have moved the phone away, as his voice was distant.  
" _Hey! Pipe down, he's on the phone now,"_ Laguna said in the background.

 _"Let me talk to him,"_ Squall could tell it was Ellone's voice.

" _Hold on just a sec! Geeze,"_

 _"When is he coming to Esthar?"_ He recognized that one as Kiros.  
He could picture Ward now, making some face that expressed all of his thoughts in one glance.

Squall pinched the bridge of his nose. … _What is this?_  
He heard Laguna fumble with the phone again.

" _Okay. Sorry, she's just naggin' me a bit. She really wants to see you... Ow_! _Don't kick me, Ellone! I was just teasin'! ...Geeze… So, we were hoping we could arrange for you to come to Esthar soon - Ellone and I have a lot we want to tell you..._ "

Squall sighed to himself. "Yeah, I planned on taking some time off to come out there."

" _Oh, great_!" Laguna said happily. " _Just great_. _He said he's gonna come,"_ Laguna whispered.  
 _"Great!"_ Ellone cheered.  
 _"Good luck with that one, Laguna."_ Kiros said.  
 _"Hey, man, shut up,"_ Laguna said harshly.

Squall leaned on the desk, covering his head with his hand. Why didn't this guy just make phone calls _alone_ if he didn't want anyone interfering in the background?

" _We will make arrangements for you to stay at the palace_."

 _No way,_ Squall thought. "That won't be necessary. I'll provide my own lodging."

" _Oh. Okay, great_ ," Laguna repeated awkwardly. " _Hey_!"

" _Squall? It's Ellone_ ," he heard her snatch up the receiver.

He smiled. "Hey, Sis," he said warmly. "How you doing out there?"

" _Oh, I love it here. It's wonderful in Esthar. There's so much to do. And Laguna, Kiros, Ward and I have finally been able to catch up. It's been so long_ …" She sounded nostalgic. " _But enough about me! How are you?_ "

"About the same," Squall shrugged.

" _'About the same?'_ " she laughed. " _Right, because nothing interesting has happened in your life or anything lately... Did everyone make it back all right_?"

"Yeah," he said, "they're all here."

" _And… Rinoa? She's safe?_ "

"She's here, too."

" _I'm so glad to hear that, Squall. I was worried about you_."

He shrugged. "I can take care of myself."

She laughed. " _Oh, I know that. I still worry, all the same_."

He didn't say anything to that. It was just her nature to perpetually worry.

" _Hey_ ," she said, " _did everything… Work out? Between you and Rinoa_?"

"…What do you mean?"

" _You know, are you guys hitting it off_?"

"I guess,"

" _'You guess'_ ," she laughed again. " _So you guys are an item_?"

"I don't know,"

" _Come on Squall - enough with the vague answers. I know we haven't seen each other a lot lately, but it's me you're talking to."_

He thought about that. "So… You don't already know?"

She laughed. " _Of course I do. I just wanted to hear it from you, that's all_."

"Sis…"

" _I know, I know, you want me to stay out of your head. I got it. But it is one of the things we need to discuss when you come here. When will you come_?"

"Give me three or four days. I'll come."

" _Are you going to bring Rinoa so I can officially meet her_?"

"I was planning on it,"

" _Great. I'm looking forward to it. Squall… I really appreciate you taking the time to come out here_ ,"

"…It's nothing."

" _I'd like to talk to you again, before you arrive_ ," she lowered her voice, " _in private_."

"Sure. Let me give you my cell number." He called out the numbers and waited as she scribbled them down.

" _Okay. Thanks, Squall. I can't wait to see you. I've missed you_."

"I miss you too, Sis."

" _We'll see you soon. Uncle Laguna's excited, too_."

He heard the click of the line disconnecting. He hung up the phone. He wasn't much for goodbyes, anyway.

Nida stood before the lift. "I didn't know you had a sister, Squall."

"What?" He looked up at Nida, having forgotten that he existed yet again and had been entirely unaware of his presence.  
"Oh, no," he shook his head. "I don't. She's just a girl who was like my sister, I guess."

"Oh, sure," Nida lifted his hand. "Sorry, I didn't mean to eavesdrop."

Squall shrugged. He didn't mean to be less observant. But, whatever.

"I came to tell you," Nida said, "Edea, Cid's wife, she's looking for you." He tilted his head. "She's was in the clinic with Dr. Kadawoki."

Squall nodded. _Guess now is as good a time as ever._

* * *

Rinoa closed the door behind her. She pat Angelo on the head as the canine approached with a wagging tail. She looked around the apartment, then invited Edea to sit.

"I'll make some tea," Rinoa suggested.  
Edea accepted with a nod.  
She waited as Rinoa brewed the tea, both in complete silence.  
It was horribly awkward for Rinoa, but Edea didn't seem bothered at all.

Rinoa had found the older sorceress waiting outside of her room when she returned from Balamb, her arms full of shopping bags. Despite feeling rather uncomfortable being in Edea's presence alone, she had welcomed her in, eager to learn whatever she could about her abilities.

Rinoa placed the tray on the table and poured them each a cup.  
Edea nodded in gratitude.  
They both took a few short sips.

Edea finally spoke with a gentle smile. "Rinoa, I know we do not know one another very well. If anything, I'm sure I'm not your favorite person,"

"Oh, no," Rinoa replied instantly, her need to be polite overriding anything she might actually feel.  
Before now, it had never bothered her that Edea turned her powers over to her. She never blamed Edea for it - she'd accepted her fate.

"But there is much I have to teach you, many things you should know," Edea took a breath. "It's time to be passed any difficulties we may have with one another - we must work together. And…"  
She sighed. "There's no time for it all."

Rinoa nodded. "I agree. I'll listen to anything you have to say, Edea."

Edea smiled approvingly. "Good. Let us waste no more time. The first thing you must learn - you walk a thin line between yourself and a sorceress easily corrupted by her powers. You must learn to control yourself and your abilities."

Rinoa nodded. It made sense. The damage her spells were now capable of frightened her. Now that Ultimecia was no longer a threat, Rinoa had to come to terms with being powerful.

 _Like, really powerful._

She could hardly hide her difficulty in controlling her abilities from the others, but she'd done her best.

"It's frightening at first, I know," Edea nodded. "But you'll grow accustomed to them. Learning to use your powers is your first concern."

"Good to know," Rinoa nodded. "And then?"

"Then," Edea said, taking a moment to sip on her tea, "you should consider solidifying the bond between knight and sorceress."

"...That's... What Seifer was to you," Rinoa pondered.

Edea nodded, then shrugged. "Well, in a sense..."

Rinoa waited for her to explain.  
Edea did not seem to have the desire to continue, but Rinoa was not easily swayed.

"Seifer was my knight, for a time," Edea began, "but we were not bound. I used him, and allowed him to have the title of knight, but... He wasn't, in reality."

"A knight protects a sorceress," Rinoa said, putting a finger to her lip as she pieced the information together. "But there's more to it?" She looked up at Edea. "What it is about the 'bond' that's different?"

"It is a deeper connection with an individual," Edea said. "It is a magical ritual that gives you..."  
She thought for a moment on how to phrase it. "Attributes, that will ensure your protection. I have some literature describing the ritual and its effects."

Rinoa waited for Edea to elaborate on or present the book, but Edea shook her head. "Squall will need to see it first."

"Squall..." Rinoa sighed. "I can't drag him into this."

Edea herself wished that Squall did not have to get involved, but she knew as well as he the role he played in his own path, and the reality was that Squall was at the center of everything. Her matronly nature wished no harm upon him, but she knew what needed to be done, and she didn't dare confess her personal feelings to Rinoa on the matter.

"You can," Edea corrected her, "and you must."

"I have no control over him," Rinoa shook her head. "Even if I did, I can't handle that! I saw what happened to Seifer... If something happens to me, I can't have that much influence over Squall,"

Edea smiled and placed her hand over Rinoa's. "He's already made the decision for himself. So, let's not make him regret it," Edea patted her hand.

"I know you are troubled, child. I know it is a heavy weight to carry. But you must know that everything is up to you now. You are in control, not Ultimecia. You are the one who makes everything right in the end."

Edea shook her head and looked away as she continued.

"I don't know how to prevent it. I was never able to escape it. But…" She looked back at Rinoa. "Perhaps you can. You are strong, and you have a knight who will protect you. Squall will not be bought so easily - as long as you can gain control of yourself, you can prevent your control over him. Understand?"

Rinoa shrugged. _Sort of. Actually, not at all._

"This is a battle that, inevitably, you will fight alone," Edea told her. "I know he gives you courage, strength. But you must be brave, and you cannot rely on his abilities alone. That is when things could turn… Ugly. Although Squall is powerful, he is defenseless against your powers. And he is defenseless against your hold over him. Do you see?"

Rinoa nodded. She understood what was being said, even if she absolutely disagreed.

"You are the one who will regain yourself. You will learn, in good time." Edea nodded. "I am sure of that. Now, you must know that I am only here to guide you. You must be ready for what may happen. First and foremost, you must understand your own capabilities. Then, you must solidify the bond between knight and sorceress. I know it frightens you, but it is for your own sake, and everything will be alright in the end."

Rinoa shook her head. "I won't risk forcing Squall to defend... Something... So..."

Edea shook her head right back at her. "Not all sorceresses have been evil. Again, child, it is too late for that now. His mind is made up. It won't matter whether you want it or not – he wants it, and you need it. You must solidify the bond while you are still yourself."

"Still myself?" Rinoa blinked.

Edea shook her head. She regretted saying that. "It just needs to be done soon."

Rinoa nodded. "It's… For the best, then?"

Edea nodded in return, but she smiled with encouragement. "It's all right. You will both be fine. You need him with you for this."

"I guess I have to talk to Squall," Rinoa looked away and rubbed her arm.

"I'm sure," Edea said casually, "that he is prepared to do what is necessary."

"Edea," Rinoa bit her lip before meeting the sorceress's eyes, "what do I have to do? How do I 'solidify' the bond? What will it do?"

"The purpose of the bond is to establish both empathic and telepathic abilities," the sorceress replied, "communication of the mind, feeling one another's emotions. It protects you when in danger. It is also the key to retaining your own consciousness, to an extent."

"...Telepathic abilities?" Rinoa asked.

Edea nodded. "You will be able to communicate telepathically. You will also be able to feel one another's vibrations, which is useful for your protection."

"Whoa," Rinoa breathed. She tried to fathom the concept of being inside Squall's head and was even more stumped by allowing him into hers.

Edea continued, indifferent to Rinoa's surprise and internal conflict. "To formulate the bond, there is a ritual you must complete. After the ritual, the bond will be established, and you will be able to practice your new abilities together."

Rinoa shook her head. "Are we talking animal-sacrifice, blood and orgy rituals?"

"No," Edea said quickly. "Well…"

Rinoa sighed and rolled her eyes. "Seriously?"

"The spell is somewhat of a… Complex process. You can discuss the details with Squall. After the ritual is complete, your 'essence' will be as one. Your thoughts will coincide. Then you will know the process is complete."

She bent down and retrieved a book from her bag. She showed it to Rinoa. The title read: Spells and Rituals.

"This book will explain it to you in detail. There are other useful spells you may want to study, as well," Edea suggested. "I'll have Squall go over it with you."

Rinoa felt her hands tremble a bit, and she clamped them shut to stop the movement.

"You want him to have it first," she said. She looked back up. "Why?"

Edea grimaced a bit, but decided to be honest. It was the least she could do for the poor girl, after all.

"He has a right to know what he's getting into," she said. "I can't make any promises for him. I think he will agree... But, of course, it is up to him."

Rinoa nodded. _Fair enough_.

After a while, Edea's voice brought her back to reality. Rinoa looked at the older woman as she spoke.

"I know it's difficult, I know you and he are only beginning to get used to one another. But with time, it will get easier. It will come naturally." Edea smiled. "I know this is a lot to take in right now. I will leave you. Rest well, and we will speak again later."

Rinoa agreed. "I appreciate you coming, Edea, really. Your words have comforted me. I think… The more I know, the better I feel."

Edea nodded and stood. "Of course. I only wish I had more time to tell you everything I know. But I am needed elsewhere. Please remember, you may call me immediately if you ever need anything - answers, favors, advice - what to do if Squall chokes during the ritual,"

"Okay," Rinoa laughed.

* * *

Squall had taken the time to make a pot of coffee as he waited. He sat now, stirring the liquid in the cup. When he found Dr. Kadawoki in the infirmary, she had instructed him to wait in his room for Edea until she returned from Rinoa's.

He'd collected some laundry to be done and picked up around the sparse apartment.

 _I wonder what they're talking about..._

He had little left to distract him as he waited.

 _Should I ask her?_

He shook his head. There was no point in wondering.

He stood to retrieve a book from the shelf when the knock came at his door.

He opened it, revealing Edea on the other side.  
They nodded at one another, and he stood aside to allow her to enter.

"Coffee?" he asked.

"Sure," she agreed.

He prepared a cup and handed it to her. She sat on the couch, and he took a seat across from her.  
She sipped on the coffee carefully for a few moments, waiting for the liquid to cool.

They stayed in silence for a while.

Squall thought of his encounter with her in the past.

 _Has she always known that it was me who came to her that day...?_

"What shall we talk about?" she asked.

He was surprised that she would invite him to begin the conversation. He placed his fingers on his chin. There were so many things to ask. He wasn't sure where to begin.

 _Was I meant to lead the war against Ultimecia? Was I designed that way? Who were my parents? How did I end up at the orphanage? Why did you choose Rinoa? What happened to me during time compression?_

"Squall," she said, breaking his thoughts. "You'll go mad trying to understand fate, and your place in it."

 _That may be true..._

"Matron," he said, "who were my parents? How did I come to be at the orphanage?"

Edea gave him a long sigh. "You will know, in good time. I leave that to Ellone to explain to you."

 _Ellone?_

Squall decided it wasn't worth getting into.

"When you passed on your powers," he said, "you gave them to Rinoa." He looked up at her. "Why?"

Edea took another sip of coffee, then placed the cup down.  
She gave him a pitiable look, which made him flinch.

"I had to make a choice," she said. "I couldn't bare to see it happen to Selphie or Quistis... And Ultimecia saw her as the one with the greatest magical ability... So..."

"You chose Rinoa," he repeated, crossing his arms over his chest.

Edea nodded. She met his eyes. "I promise you, Squall, I will do everything in my power to mentor her." She nodded at him. "And you, as well." She looked at him a bit sadly. "I never expected you to take the place of a knight... It is a challenge for a SeeD, of course, but... You have your own destiny..."

Squall wondered what was it that made her tone seem ominous.

"What does it mean?" he asked. He leaned back in his chair. "Being a knight?"

"If you complete the bond," Edea began, "it means you have chosen to bind yourself to the sorceress as her protector."

"That's it?" Squall raised a brow.

"That's not all," Edea shook her head. "But, it's essentially what it means to be a sorceress's knight."

Edea reached into her side bag and retrieved a book. She handed it to him, and he studied the cover.

"A book of spells," he read.

"The ritual is described within the pages," Edea said. "Once you understand what it implies, you can then decide what to do."

"I've already decided," Squall said, placing the book on the coffee table. "But it should prove useful."

"Admirable," Edea chuckled.

Squall ignored the jab, so she cleared her throat to continue.

"Squall, I'd like for you to take Rinoa into the training center. The sooner the better." She finished the last of her coffee and placed the cup down. "It will take a while for her to get the hang of controlling her powers. I need you to be there to make sure she doesn't blow anything up."

Squall nodded. "Whatever you say,"

Edea shook her head and raised her palm. "I'm sorry I cannot be of more help, but you see, I have been trying very hard to distance myself from my lingering powers. I'm trying to suppress them until they are dormant and not easily awakened. You'll both need the training, anyway. You know how to contact me if anything happens, or if you have any questions. For now, let her get a sense of her powers, and read about the ritual."

Squall nodded. Although he was curious as to the grand scheme of all of this, he wasn't ready to start asking those questions.

"Squall," Edea continued, grabbing his attention, "I think it's important for you to attend counseling sessions with Dr. Kadawoki."

He raised a brow at her.

"You've been through a lot," she raised her hand. "You need to talk about it."

"Everyone seems fine," he said, looking away.

"Squall, they've already scheduled their sessions."

He looked back at her in surprise.

She nodded. "It's your turn now."

He waved his hand. "I'll consider it."

"When you come back from Esthar," she said, finishing the last of her coffee, "remember that I'm here if you want to talk."

He wasn't sure what he would have to talk with her about, but he nodded in agreement anyway.

* * *

The hour was growing late, and Quistis was in deep meditation. She had a ritual of using any free time before bed to do so. Meditation enhanced her ability to use blue magic, and gave her a sense of balance in her every day life. Her mind slipped into emptiness, when suddenly a scene played before her, crashing into her like lightning. Coursing through her body was a memory that would lead her to epiphany.

The shore was clear, the day was warm. She threw down a tonberry card.

"Come on," Seifer nagged, wearing an oversized t-shirt. "Where do you keep getting the good cards?"

"You have to play Matron," Quistis shrugged. She twirled her hair between her fingers.

"I still don't understand this game," Seifer crossed his arms over his chest. "Let's play something else."

"We don't have time," Quistis said, taking the cards back.

She looked up at him and smiled. "You know Matron's gonna have a cake for you soon."

"Tch," Seifer looked away.

Quistis stood, smoothing over her dress. "And she's playing your favorite movie," she added.

"Oh yeah," he said, "Nice." He stood with her.

"Here," Quistis said. She reached into her deck and pulled out the tonberry card.  
She offered it to him with a smile. "Happy birthday, Seifer."

He took the card with a smirk. "Thanks, Quisty," he said, ruffling her hair.

Quistis opened her eyes, again startled by the familiarity of the past.

 _His eighth birthday._

She shook her head _._

That was over ten years ago. That's not who we are now. Things have changed.

Quistis stood from her meditation position and decided to have some tea to calm her nerves.

 _I should have known this would affect my meditation_...

She sat back on her bed, dipping the tea bag in and out of the hot water.

 _We don't remember each other. We grew apart. That isn't how friendship works. We're completely different people._

She placed the mug on her bedside table and sighed, crawling under her blankets.

 _Then why do I feel this way?_

She wondered if her feelings were once again misguided by her protective nature. But she hadn't been a big sister to Seifer. They were the same age. They had that in common.

She felt guilty about what happened to him, but something told her it was for reasons more personal than camaraderie. Was it that her subconscious was focusing on him, or that he truly was a big part of her childhood? She had to know if he remembered.

 _If he doesn't, so be it. If he does... Maybe... He can help me understand..._

She grabbed her phone and sent Cid an e-mail, asking for Seifer's contact information. Once it was over, she sighed.

 _No going back now._

* * *

"Selphie, please," Irvine begged. "It's well past two-hundred hours, and I know you're gonna get me up around eight to set everything up. So, come on, let's hit the hay."

"We're not hitting anything," she corrected, as she leaned over the ladder and rearranged a banner for what seemed like the hundredth time.

Irvine rolled his eyes and crossed his arms. _Yeah, tell me about it._

"It's not level, I'm telling you," she said for, what seemed like, the hundredth time.

He raised his palm up. "You're delusional, Selphie, sleep-deprived. You ain't seein' straight."

"Please - I can see just fine," she argued.

"Dammit, Selphie, I'm a friggin' sharp-shooter, and I'm telling you, the banner is straight." Irvine sighed.

Selphie finished pinning the banner with a frown.  
She climbed down the ladder and faced him, her hands on her hips.  
"You don't have to get all pissy," she said.

He almost rolled his eyes again. Coming from her, that was quite a statement.  
But he shook his head instead. "You're right. Sorry. I'm just tired."

She rubbed her arm. "Yeah," she agreed. "Me too."

"So, come on," he said. "Let's get out of here."

She nodded and followed him out of the ballroom.  
He opened the door for her and she walked through it.

When they were back in the hallway, they fell into easy conversation about their day. They talked about the graduation ceremony, the band that was playing... If they decided to show up. That was a topic of interest. Selphie squealed with excitement over the fireworks after the ceremony, and asked Irvine continuously if he thought the banners really looked okay. He sighed and decided to ignore the topic all together. When they both fell silent, Irvine decided to change the topic completely.

"When are you leaving for Trabia?" he asked.

She frowned and looked away, uncomfortable with the question. She was excited about going back, but she felt guilty leaving her friends behind. But it was something she had to do, and she knew she'd have to go soon. After a while, she sighed.

"At the end of the month. I really wanted to take one last vacation with everybody, you know, like a last hurrah, but it seems Squall has other things in mind."

Irvine shook his head. "Don't worry about him. He's just got some important stuff to deal with, you know? Just like you."

She nodded sadly after she thought about it. "Yeah. I guess so."  
He smiled at her. She smiled weakly too, suddenly feeling the weight of her grief.

"What about you?" she asked. "Where will you go?"

Irvine looked away, though the smile remained on his face.  
"I think I'll go back to Galbadia Garden. Maybe live in Deiling city. As much as I like it here, I'm not sure there's really a place for me," he shook his head.

Selphie frowned. "Why do you say that?"

He shrugged casually. "I have a lot of friends in Galbadia. I guess I just miss them. I miss the life there."

Selphie nodded, understanding. She felt the same way about Trabia. She looked away, caving into her unusual shyness.

"Will we still see each other?" she asked timidly. "Will we still be friends?"

"Sure," he nodded, smiling at her compulsion to feel shy. He viewed it as unnecessary, as he was entirely comfortable around her. He regretted the fact that she couldn't remember much of their childhood. It placed a lot of barriers between them, and he frowned suddenly at the thought of it all. If she kept using GFs, she'd never remember their past.

 _Who knows, she could forget me all together..._ He pushed the thoughts to the back of his mind, as he usually did, and settled for a simple answer.

"We could write each other. Maybe visit sometimes," he suggested.

"Yeah," she agreed enthusiastically, nodding.

They stopped in front of her room, which was one of the first in the dorm hall because they were reserved for temporary SeeD housing. Irvine's room was a few doors down.

Selphie sighed and turned to face him.  
"Well, I guess I'll see you bright and early tomorrow morning," she said.

Irvine nodded. "Yes. It will probably be very bright, and very early."

She rolled her eyes, but she smiled at him. "Thanks for all your help," she said sincerely.

"Of course," he smiled.  
With his hands on her shoulders, he leaned in close to her face and gently placed his lips against her cheek. "Goodnight, Selphie," he whispered.

"Goodnight, Irvine," she replied, and watched him as he continued down the hall.

She closed the door behind her. She felt the rapid beating of her heart in her chest. She felt stressed and conflicted, which was unlike her. She felt timid and unsure, so not like her. She sat down on the edge of her bed and loosely gripped the comforter.

… _What is this...?_


	6. Let's Cliff-Dive

The next morning, Selphie had relinquished the others from their breakfast duties so she could work on the graduation party. Rinoa decided to take a long shower to ease her body. She took her sweet time doing all of the small grooming habits that she normally felt there was no time for. It was relaxing, having the ability to concentrate on just herself for a long period of time. When she was finished, she emerged from the bathroom and looked at the small shelf that held her clothes.

She pulled out some clothes and laid them out on the bed. She slipped on a new bra and panties, which felt pretty nice. She looked down at her options. She opted for jean shorts, as usual, which is why she'd purchased two more pairs. She pulled them on and looked at the different tops. She almost grabbed a plain light blue top, but looked at a white blouse. The blouse was really cute, and it looked nice on her. It wasn't too dressy - it would look casual with some jean shorts. She pulled on a thin black tank top, then pulled on the blouse. She buttoned it up about halfway, but left the top undone to show the camisole underneath.

She slipped on some simple sandals and looked at herself in the bathroom mirror. She had to stand back and position herself awkwardly to see the entire outfit. She nodded and smiled in approval.

She pulled out her makeup bag and opened it. She looked at her lack of makeup and sighed - it's not like she'd had a need for it until recently. She only had a little bit of powder, eyeliner and mascara. She'd like to at least put some color on her eyes or lips. She shrugged and applied what she had.

Nearly finished, she heard a knock at the door. She turned, startled at the noise.  
She finished applying mascara, observed herself in the mirror, and was satisfied.  
She went to answer the door.  
When she saw him on the other side, she gave him an adoring smile.

"Hey," Squall said.

"Hi," she replied. "Come in." She moved to let him enter and closed the door behind him.

He stepped closer to her and stopped. She was surprised at his sudden proximity and wanted to cower away, but she remained suspended before him. He looked her over, appreciating her appearance, then reached out to run his fingers through her bangs. His hand rested on her face.

She was still rather unaccustomed to affection from him. She felt breathless and in her shyness she refused to meet his eyes. She felt his other hand positioning itself comfortably on the small of her back. The feeling of it was still brand new, yet strangely familiar.

When she looked up at him, he leaned down to kiss her lips, lingering for only a moment. He was slow and gentle. She thought she'd explode in anticipation, but she loved it. He kissed the corners of her lips, then kissed her again. She fell into him as her arms encircled his neck and her hands went into his hair. She allowed the sensation to pour into her. She thought of the warmth of his mouth, the softness of his lips, his hands running up and down her curves. In her state of arousal, she thought of what it would be like to make love. Then she thought of what Edea had said, and what being close to him could mean.

In a second, the warm sensation of arousal was replaced with a rush of hesitation. She broke away from his embrace slowly and placed her hand on his chest to halt him.

"As much as I'm enjoying this," she said, "I think… We should talk about some stuff,"

He looked disappointed, but he nodded. It was what he'd come for.

"Before we go any further," Rinoa clarified.

"Yeah," he agreed half-heartedly.

"Come on, let's go sit," she suggested.

He sat next to her on the couch and sighed to himself.  
He didn't want to say anything he'd later regret, so he decided on not saying much.  
She smiled at him warmly. He wondered if he should take it as a good or bad sign.

"Come on, don't look at me like that," she said.

"Like what?" he asked.

"Like you're afraid of something. You don't have to be afraid of talking to me,"

He shook his head. "I'm not afraid," he protested.

"What's with the look, then?"

He sighed. "I don't want to say the wrong thing,"

She smiled at him, almost laughed. "Please - you?"

He rolled his eyes at her and she laughed.  
She ran her hand through his hair.

"Sorry," she said. She smiled again. "Nothing you can say is gonna scare me anyway," she said.

"Oh?" He said, interested.

She nodded. "Don't take it as a challenge or anything,"

He laughed at that, and she laughed too. He realized that she was right, that there wasn't really a reason to be getting bent out of shape at this point. There were a lot of things they needed to talk about, and he'd put it off long enough.

"So, let's talk," he said.

She smiled, liking his new attitude. "Well, what should we cover first?"

Squall brought his hand to his chin and thought. He looked back at her.  
"Dr. Kadawoki wants to employ you in the clinic."

Rinoa blinked. She hadn't expected him to offer her a job.

"I know it's entirely too soon to decide what you want to do, and Timber comes first," he said, "but, if you wanted to stay at Garden, you have the option."

Rinoa nodded. "Good to know," she said.  
She'd gone through almost everything she'd spent her life saving and could use some kind of steady income – not to mention it gave her an excuse to stay at Garden. But she couldn't worry about any of that now.

"What about you?" Rinoa asked.

"What about me?" Squall said.

"What are you going to do?" she clarified. "Stick around as Commander?"

He thought about that. "I'm not sure," he said. "I hadn't thought about it yet. I know it's where Cid wants me. But… It's a lot of work, a lot of responsibility,"

Rinoa nodded. "Sure."

"It's also how I make a living," he added.

"True," she agreed.

He shrugged. "I'll stick around here for a while until something comes along."

"Sounds good," she said.

"My turn," he said.

 _Oh, so it's like twenty questions?_ She smiled, enjoying his humor.

"Will you be my girlfriend?" he asked.

Rinoa blinked. That was another surprise. She laughed. "I guess I thought I already was,"

"You thought wrong," he corrected, and Rinoa scoffed at him. "Officially, do you want to be my girlfriend?" he asked.

She laughed again. "Well, when you put it like that, it's hard to resist,"

He shrugged. "Quistis told me I had to ask you, that it had be official. She said I _had_ to,"

Rinoa smiled. "Smart one, that Quistis."  
Squall scoffed, and she laughed.  
"I'd love to be your girlfriend," she said.

He nodded. "Okay. So, we're like a couple,"

"Something like that," she teased.

He rolled his eyes. "It's not like I know all the rules,"

She waved her hand dismissively. "Squall, there's no time for rules - I feel you on that one."

He nodded again. "Okay. Good."

"I think we'll be okay," she said. He agreed.  
"My turn," she said.

He smiled at her and crossed his arms, daring her to do her worst.

"What did Edea say to you? About me?" she asked.

He released his arms and the playful look dropped from his face.  
"Oh," he said. "About you?"

Rinoa nodded.

"Well, it's kind of complicated," Squall said.

"I've got time," Rinoa leaned back, expressing her patience.

He thought for a moment.  
"She said you were suffering a lot, because of me," he said after a while.

Rinoa raised a brow. She hadn't expected that.

He shrugged. "She said that if I was truly dedicated to you, I'd give you space, then come when you're ready."

"That's… Interesting," Rinoa didn't know what else to say.

Squall didn't really get that, so he went on. "She asked me about becoming your knight, if I was willing to do so."

"Are you?"

 _I told you a while ago that I was,_ he thought, then realized he had never actually made any promises to her aloud.

"Of course I am," he told her. He frowned a bit. _I should have told you, sooner._ _I can't really blame you for not trusting me, not knowing how I feel..._

She smiled, unaware of his inner dialogue. "You know you don't have to,"

He shook his head. "I don't have to, but if I didn't protect you, what kind of boyfriend would I be?"

She laughed. "I see," she said.

"What did Matron say to you?" he asked.

She sighed. _It was a lot._  
"She said I had to start using my powers more, getting a grip of what I'm capable of. And… She told me that we had to carry out a ritual and complete the sorceress and knight bond. But… Honestly, I don't know I'm for it…" She didn't elaborate.

Squall sighed. "You don't want to do it?"

"Squall, I'm just…" Rinoa looked away and bit her lip, unsure of how to put it.

"I can handle myself," he said.

"I know," she said.  
"I can protect us."

"I know…"

"So, why not?"

She bit her lip, not wanting to reveal her insecurities so willingly. They sat in silence for a while as he watched her, and she sighed, realizing she had no real way out of this.

"I'm afraid… That I won't be able to control myself," her voice trailed off and she looked away.  
"...That I'll manipulate you into doing evil things… Like how Edea did to Seifer, how Ultimecia did to me."

He placed his hand over hers, urging her to look at him. "Rinoa..."

"I'm afraid of the bond," she said, "because I'm afraid of somehow possessing you..."

Squall knew she would feel that way. Rinoa was one to sacrifice herself to save others. She'd done it at the Sorceress Memorial, and she was doing it now. He tried to think of the words to say to dispel her fears, but the truth was, the possibility of that happening existed. They both knew it.

He wanted to know what to do. She remained silent. He watched her as the thoughts churned in her mind and the worry reflected on her face. He wanted to know what to say.

"Rinoa," Squall said.  
She looked at him, comforted by the sound of her name from his lips.

"It was a burden you accepted… Because of me," he explained. "I was hired to protect and assist you until your goals were reached. And then… You were dragged into all of this because of me, because of SeeD. You willfully accepted your burden, and I've accepted mine."

He shook his head, frustrated at his inability to compose what he wanted to say.

"You became this because I couldn't protect you. So… It only makes sense that I make up for it now. I want to make up for it, Rinoa. I want to help you through this, because I was too selfish to protect you before,"

Rinoa felt speechless. She had never thought of it that way. Never once had she blamed him for anything that happened to her.

"Please," he said softly.

She blinked.

"Let me do this."

She felt warm tears pooling in her eyes, but forced them back. "Squall," she said. "I never… Blamed you,"

"I want to be your knight," he said, assuring her of his intention.

She laughed. For some reason, as beautiful as his statement was, it sounded so… Classical. She nodded and ran her hand through his hair.

"Nothing would please me more."

She may not have entirely felt that way, but she wouldn't tell him that. She kissed him softly and traced her fingers down his face and neck. She loved the way his skin felt against her fingertips. She made an awkward face and looked at him sternly.

"You understand what it means, right?"

"What?" he asked.

"If we go through with this," she clarified.

"Oh," he said. "Yeah. I read about it."

"'Read about it?'" Rinoa repeated. She scoffed and rolled her eyes. "Why are you acting like it's no big deal?"

"What's a big deal?" Squall asked. "The blood? Oh, you mean the sex," he realized.  
"Sex?!" Rinoa huffed. Her palm went to her face. "I haven't heard about that part..."

Squall smirked. "It isn't a big deal. It's optional, and we have a while,"

"I'm not talking about that!" she said.  
She eyed him. _How are you bringing_ that _up so casually right now, anyway?_ She shook her head. _Not the point._

"I mean, the shared abilities. The _telepathy_."

"Oh," he said.

"Oh?!" she repeated. "Squall, you can't possible be entirely unconcerned with being in my head, and me being in yours,"

"Rinoa," he said again, "don't worry about it so much, okay? If Edea thinks we should do it, then it's probably for the best. As for the experience," he shrugged, "I've never done it. I don't know what it's like. We won't know until we do it. And then, I don't know, we'll just figure it out. There has to be a way to control it."

Rinoa scrunched her nose. "..Why do I feel like you and I have completely swapped personalities for this conversation?"

He laughed at that, and she wanted to be annoyed with his ability to laugh at the situation, but in a way, it comforted her. He could have been grim and worried like she was, but he wasn't.

"...Squall, you're not being... Reserved, and introverted, and depressing..!" She raised a brow at him.

He looked around for answers. "...Sorry?"

She had to laugh again. "Who is this person?" she asked.

"I don't know what you want me to say," he said, starting to feel annoyed. This was not her fun teasing. "I'm more than just a brood, you know." He scowled at her.

Rinoa laughed again, which he hadn't expected. "That's more like it," she said. "I feel better."

"Whatever works," he said.

She placed her hand over his. "I'm just surprised, that's all." She shrugged a bit. "I'm getting to know you. You can't blame me for being surprised every now and then."

"That's fair," he agreed, thinking there was plenty about her that surprised him.

He handed her the book Edea gave him.  
"Take a look. And don't worry so much about it. We won't have to do anything we don't want to."

Rinoa took the book and ran her hand over the worn cover. She looked back up at him and nodded.

"Done with that conversation?" Squall asked, and she laughed and gave him a nod.

"I hope there's more," she teased.

"Oh, there is," he teased her back. She squealed with excitement, and they laughed together.

"I got a call from Sis earlier," he said.

"'Sis?'" she asked. "Ellone?"

Squall nodded. "Yes."

"That's why you're going to Esthar?" Rinoa asked. She'd heard him over breakfast, but thought this a clever way of finding out the details.

"Primarily, for the Ragnarok," Squall shrugged again. "The ship officially belongs to Esthar. Laguna approved our usage of it for the mission. But now that it's over, I don't know what he'll want to do with it."

"Oh," Rinoa said, thinking. She laughed. "I guess I always thought of it as our ship."

He smiled. He knew that she didn't mean Garden – she meant the two of them.

"We'll see what happens," he said.

She nodded in agreement. "When will you go?"

"In a few days," Squall said.

"...For how long?" Rinoa chewed her lip.

She wasn't sure if he expected her to hang around Garden, or if she should return to Timber without him. She knew that he was giving this time to others to hang back, but she had no idea how that applied to her.

"For a few days," he repeated.

Rinoa rolled her eyes, but decided on saying nothing.

"The Ragnarok is a part of why I have to go," he added, "but I have some other things to attend to."

There was a long silence between them, and she thought that she hated how he never really fully explained things. She sighed, growing frustrated with asking question after question.

"What kind of things?" She knew he was entitled to his privacy, but she should at least have some idea, right?

Squall crossed his arms and looked away, pondering his answer. He released his arms. "There's Ellone. And when I last saw Laguna, he said he wanted to talk to me after everything was over. I think it has something to do with my personal life – my past. Kiros and Ward mentioned something about my mother. I think they knew her. I need to find out how all of it is connected."

Rinoa thought for a moment. She didn't really know much about Laguna, other than the fact that he was pretty nice, pretty silly and seemed to have some kind of connection with Squall and Ellone.

"I wonder what it is," she wondered aloud.

"I'm curious to know, myself," he admitted.

Rinoa nodded. "Sure."

"So, I know Esthar isn't your favorite place, but…" he crossed his arms again. "Would you like to come with me?" He looked at her, hoping she wouldn't reject the invitation. "It would only be for a while, and I could use the company."

Rinoa smiled. She was happy to know what he wanted, and that it included spending more time with her. "Of course I'd like to go with you! As long as you're there with me, I have nothing to worry about, right?"

He nodded. "Yeah."

She nodded too. "Okay. I think it'd be fun. I didn't get to see much while I was there."

Squall grimaced – sight-seeing was not something he wanted to think about.

"Hey," Rinoa said. "When we go to Esthar, do you think the president would allow me to ask him some personal questions?"

Squall rubbed his chin, looking perplexed.  
 _What kind of 'personal' questions could she possibly have for him?_

"Personal questions?"

"Well, do you remember when we left Timber, and stopped in the woods?" Rinoa explained. "I guess it was the first or second time you guys were put in Ellone's 'dreamworld.' Right after we met – officially, that is."

"Yeah, I remember," he said. _I remember you were pretty pissed off at me that day._

"Selphie mentioned Julia, the singer," she said.  
He nodded in acknowledgement.  
"I'd like to know more about her, as I don't remember her very well."  
She gave him a sad smile. "She died when I was very young."

Squall thought of Laguna's romance with Julia.  
 _I guess that's why she wants to ask... But… Caraway..._

He looked back at her. "Why don't you ask your father about her?"

"Please," Rinoa said, waving her hand, "he likes to pretend she never existed. Her death brought him so much pain. It's one of the many reasons why he can't stand to look at me now."

"Oh," Squall said, sorry he'd brought it up.

She went on casually, as if she'd accepted the fact long ago. "I wasn't with you guys in the dream world, but I hear Laguna was pretty close to her. I'd like to ask him about her, if I could."

"'Close to her?' He was crazy about her," Squall rolled his eyes, remembering the leg-cramping situation.

"Well, he was also supposedly her 'one true love' who went off to war and never came back."  
She made a romantic sighing gesture and grinned.

"Hard to imagine," Squall said. _It's hard to imagine any woman being in love with that guy._

Rinoa laughed. "Maybe a little. Hey, you're the one who saw it, not me."

 _I saw him disappear from her life and move on to another woman named Raine.  
_ "I guess," he said, deciding to leave that door closed.

"You… Got to see her though, right?" she asked, her voice timid.

Squall nodded. "Yeah, I did see her. I heard her play the piano, too. She was good."

"Yeah. I miss that," she said. "Frankly, I'm a bit jealous of you guys."

"You could ask Ellone for help. And I'm sure Laguna will talk about her. I don't think he'd be weird about it."

"Do you…" Rinoa chewed on her lip. "Know why… He never came back? Why he left her alone?"

Squall shrugged. "He was wounded from war in Centra, which I think is when he lost contact with Julia. He spent a lot of time healing in Winhill. There he met a woman named Raine who was raising Ellone. That's where they met. Ellone's parents had been killed by soldiers from Esthar."

"Yeah," Rinoa said. "I remember Laguna saying something like that."

Squall nodded. "Somehow, the Esthar soldiers returned and got to Ellone. I never witnessed what happened there. They kidnapped her, so Laguna returned to Esthar to find her. He was a prisoner of war there for awhile. He broke out of prison and found Ellone in Odine's laboratory. He sent her back to Winhill with Raine. Then, I guess the people in Esthar liked his style, and asked him to become their president. During his time in Winhill, your mother married Caraway."

Rinoa put a finger to her lip. "So, what ever happened to Ellone? Didn't she end up at the orphanage with you guys?"

Squall nodded. "Raine died of illness, so Ellone was sent to the orphanage."  
"What about Laguna?"

Squall shrugged. "Good question. I guess he was too busy with his life in Esthar for anyone else."

"Oh." Rinoa said. "Well, it is a cool story."

Squall chuckled. "I guess so."

Rinoa lifted her hand. "What do you think it all has to do with you?"

"Another good question," he said. "I have no idea. I can barely remember anything from my past, but I'm sure that's what it's about. Maybe Ellone wants to help me remember how I ended up here."

"Sure," Rinoa nodded. "That could be it."

"We'll find out when we get there," Squall said, waving his hand.

Angelo approached and pressed her nose into his leg. He scratched behind her ear. She leaned into it happily. "What about Angelo?" he asked. "Should I plan on bringing her with us?"

"No way," Rinoa said, shaking her head. "Let her hang here. She could use a break, and we'll need her in Timber."

"You're right," he said, taking his hand back. Angelo laid her head on her paws and sighed.

"She'll be happier here. Anyone here would love to watch her while we're gone."

Squall nodded. "We'll leave tomorrow, if that's cool with you."

"It's cool with me," she agreed.

"Let's hit the training center," he suggested.

Rinoa frowned, looking down at her fresh outfit. "I'd have to change..."

"Need help?" he asked, and she rolled her eyes at him.

* * *

Quistis stirred her cup of coffee absentmindedly. She sighed, looking out at the ocean. The cafes in Balamb were great for relaxing, but she couldn't help feeling tense.

Irvine raised a brow as he watched her, arms folded over his chest as he leaned back in his chair.

"How are things, Quistis?" he asked, and she turned.

"Things?" she repeated.

"What's on your mind?" he said, uncrossing his arms and leaning on the table. "I doubt you asked me to have a drink in Balamb if there wasn't something you wanted to talk about." He put a finger to his lip. "Unless..."

He laughed, and shook his head.

"Quistis," he said, and she raised a brow at him. "Is this cute, awkward little encounter a date?" He leaned back again. "You could have just asked."

"Cut it out," Quistis said, hiding the smile forming on her lips.

"What's going on?" he asked again.

"I wanted to... Ask you something..."  
She began to tear apart the empty sugar packets that she'd used.

"Quistis, you're a master of suspense," Irvine told her. "But I'd like to know what it is sometime today."

"Alright, alright," she lifted her hands. "...You remember our past pretty well, right?"

"Well enough," he shrugged.

"I haven't equipt a GF since Ultimecia," Quistis admitted. "A lot has come back to me."

"Hey, Quistis," Irvine smiled. "That's great." He observed that her reaction was less than great, and he frowned. "What's got you down, then?"

"I'm... Confused." She shook her head. "Things aren't the same as I thought they were. People... Aren't the same."

Irvine lifted his hand. "No one has changed that much,"

"Agreed," Quistis nodded. "But... My perception of them, has."

"Ah," Irvine said, once again crossing his arms and leaning back. "You mean Seifer."

Quistis blinked, and met his eyes. Irvine smirked as her reaction told him he'd hit the mark.

"Why do you say that?" she asked.

Irvine sighed, taking a sip from his own drink. "I think you know," he said, leaning closer to her.

Quistis bit her lip. "So, it's true, then..."

"I understand why you feel this way, now," Irvine said, placing his hand on her arm. "You guys were close. And, what happened..." He sighed again. "That must be tough."

"I'm... Going to go see him," Quistis said.

"Really?" Irvine gave her a look of intrigue.

"Tonight," Quistis added.

"Really?" Irvine said, laughing a bit.

She picked at her nails. "I'm visiting him in FH."

"Quistis Trepe, you vixen," Irvine joked. "Who else knows about this?"

"Just the three of us," Quistis mumbled.

"Hey," he said, moving his face to meet her eyes, "cheer up, huh?"

"Sorry," Quistis sighed.

"What's the plan, then?" he asked. "What do you want from this?" He tilted the rim of his hat. "'Cause it looks a little bit like you're falling apart at the seams."

"I wish it weren't so obvious," Quistis said, wringing her hands. "I'm just... Nervous! I don't know why."

"You need a drink," Irvine said, motioning for the wait staff.  
He ordered a few drinks, then turned back to Quistis.

"You're nervous because it's weird. You have a history. That history includes friendship, forgetting about him, being his teacher, watching him turn," Irvine waved his hand. "There's a lot going on there."

"Yeah," Quistis huffed. I'm glad someone understands...

"But, you have to deal with your past in order to move forward, right?" He placed his hand on his chin and raised his brows at her.

"I think so," she nodded.

The waiter placed an assortment of drinks in front of them, and Quistis blinked.  
Irvine took the one that looked like iced tea and sipped on it. He nodded in approval.

"So, I'll ask you again," he said. "What do you want out of all this?"

Quistis finished the last of her coffee before turning to the whiskey neat beside her.  
She gave it a sniff, then took a sip. She placed the drink back down.

"I want to make sure he's okay," she said. "We have each other to deal with everything... But he doesn't really have anyone."

"He has his posse," Irvine rolled his eyes.

"It's important to me, to know that he's okay."  
Quistis took another drink, scrunching her nose at the flavor.

"Whatever makes you happy, Quistis," Irvine said, and clinked his glass with hers.

* * *

Air rushed passed her, she squinted from the wind. A pained look was upon her face, reflecting the aching of her muscles and her magical energy being steadily drained. But it was not a time to give up, or walk away. If she tried to run, the massive monster would easily be on her heels. And with the damage she'd done, her opponent snarled with determination to defeat its attacker.

Rinoa focused on her newfound ability to control magic, and it was quite simple to keep the T-Rexaur at bay - as long as she stayed focused. But she sighed inwardly, and that feeling that crept into her every time she stepped into battle made her insides turn. A lump sat in her throat, and a cold sweat blanketed her brow.

It was all too easy to revel in the power of sorcery and what it did for her. Sometimes it tempted her until her teeth were on edge. By nature, Rinoa hated to fight. The problem was she was good at it. And the person she wanted to be with more than anyone was a fighter at his core.

Squall was hidden in the shadows, quietly observing as Rinoa took on the beast. He of course was there as backup, but they both agreed she needed space while she worked on a few new techniques. He watched intently, focused on every move and misstep, analyzing Rinoa's battle style and thinking of ways to improve upon it.

He was broken from his thoughts to watch Rinoa fly through the air, twist, turn, and deliver the final deadly blow, a clean cut into the neck.

Blood began to spew from the monster, and she jumped out of the way, flipping backwards and landing gracefully on her feet. She pulled herself up, and when she adjusted her top, Squall felt weak. There was something incredibly graceful in the way Rinoa moved, and it intrigued him in a way that he felt best kept silent. The monster crashed to the ground, groaning in a horrid misery, and it wasn't until Squall was sure the thing was truly dead that he looked back to his sorceress.

Rinoa was hugging her arms, blood spatter on her body. Then, almost delicately, she fell to the ground. It was then Squall decided to move.

He pushed his way through jungle and into the clearing, skidding to a halt at her side. Quickly he was on his knees, cradling her in his arms.

"Hey," he gave her a light shake, "you okay?"

She was conscious, but barely. Squall's first reaction was of his training - he cast a Life spell, holding his fingers inches above her chest.

A few seconds passed. Rinoa took some deep breaths. Then she slowly opened her eyes.

She found Squall looking down at her. She felt the fur of his collar on her face.  
She breathed in his scent, and enjoying being against his chest.  
But when he looked at her again, she frowned.

"Squall," she said in a way so small and pitiful that it made his heart ache.

The T-Rexaur's blood had soaked into his white shirt.  
A cold sweat covered her. Rinoa began to cry. Her sobs were soft, but her body shivered.

Squall wasn't sure what to make of it. He held her close as she cried, and offered no words of sympathy. He had none to give her, unaware of what was happening.

"Tell me," he finally said.

Rinoa had ceased her tears by then, and her breathing had returned to normal.  
She released a deep sigh before she spoke.

"I dream," she said, her voice slightly hoarse. "I dream of it. Remember it. Sometimes I see it when I'm awake…"

She was silent again. He decided to encourage her to continue.

"...Dream of what?" he asked softly.

"...Space," she whispered. "Adel, Seifer, the castle… Being possessed, devoured…"

She met his eyes, and hers were again wet with tears.

"You… I… I see you falling off the float…"

Squall frowned.  
 _How do I fix this…?_

"It will get better," he promised as he held her closer.  
He lightly ran his hand over her hair. "It won't always be this way…"

Rinoa had little idea of how desperately she wanted to hear those words.

"Come on," he said. "Enough training… We both could use a break."

She looked up at him, and faked a smile.

He smiled back. "Let's get changed. It's almost time to meet the others."

"Yeah," Rinoa nodded. "...I'm hungry."

"And… After that," he began. "...Maybe I could come over..?"

"Watch a movie?" She gave him a look that would make him say 'yes' to most things.

"Yeah," he agreed, stroking her hair one last time.

* * *

Zell's fists were clenched as he walked down the hallway of Balamb Garden towards the Library. He'd been sparring with a few of his buddies less than an hour ago. Things were going great - he was getting a good workout, had enough wins to still stay on top, but enough challenges to keep his mind sharp. But things began to go very, very wrong when one of them, a combat SeeD a class above him and easily his biggest competitor, Suya Clerveaux, casually let it slip to the others that he had a date with that hot nerd from their class. A certain hot nerd named his girl.

"Hey, Dincht," one of them had turned and said. "Weren't you workin on her?"

"Not doin' the right work, I guess," Suya grinned. "She said yes when I asked her out." He held up his hands. "Sorry Dincht. It's tough out there."

They'd gotten into it when Zell assured him his date would be canceled, as he would be the one with that hot nerd on Friday night. Suya backed down from the physical encounter, but said "we'll see," as Zell exited the gym.

Before he stormed into the library, he stopped. He allowed his fists to relax, and took a deep, calming breath. His ma hadn't raised him to conduct himself like a brute. He wasn't any less pissed, but he at least appeared calm.

He gave the attendant a winning smile. "Hey, Nami," he said.

The short girl giggled and smiled back. "Well hey there, Zell," she said. "Looking for Sora?"

"That I am," he said with as much charm as he could muster. "I see she's not in."

"Nope," the girl giggled again.

"See ya," he gave her a wink, and left the library.

As he returned to the hallway, his scowl returned. By the time he got to her room, his face was set. He knocked on her door, rapidly enough to send a message of annoyance.

When she popped her head out from behind the door, her eyes rolled.

"Zell," she said. "What do you want?"

"What's with you?" he said. "Clervaux is going around saying that you're goin' out with him." He crossed his arms over his chest, and scowled at her. "Seriously? Don't even have the courage to tell me you're not interested?"

She opened the door fully, her hands defensively on her hips. "Oh whatever, Zell!"

Zell raised a brow at this reaction.

"You act indifferent towards me when we're together," she said. "After you've been gone for months! You've never shown real interest in me. If you want me to be your girl, if you don't want me seeing other people, if maybe you want to be with me one day, act like it!"

"Whoa," Zell held up his hands. His voice wasn't as confident. "I… I thought you knew I liked you..?!"

Sora huffed.

Zell scratched the back of his neck, unsure of how to proceed. He couldn't quite piece together that she liked him, but was also angry at him. He wasn't sure how to react.

"You know how I'll know?" she asked.

Zell pitifully shook his head.

Sora sighed, and couldn't help smile at his pout. She grabbed him by his vest and pulled him into her room. Once inside, she silently closed the door behind them. She looked at him, in a way that made Zell's heart pound faster.

She waited, he still didn't move. Sora grinned at his innocence, intrigued. She pinned him against the wall. After a short pause while their eyes met, her lips went to his, and her tongue was hot in his mouth.

His hands gripped her hips and they were moving closer to her backside when she pulled away, but kept her body pinned to his.

"I want you," she said. She looked down at their hips. "And I know you want me too. So, can we please get on with it?"

Zell was dumbfounded by her forwardness, and had less blood flowing to his brain, but he managed to nod his head.

"Yes!" he told her. "Yeah, fuck yeah! I mean, um…" He cleared his throat. "...If that's what you want,"

Sora nodded, and it wasn't long before his lips were back on hers.

* * *

She answered the door to find a boquet of white and yellow daisies on the other side, clutched in his gloved hand, which led her eye up his brown trench coat, to his bowing cowboy hat, and finally to his face as he met her eyes and gave her his best smile.

"For me?" Selphie giggled.

"For you," Irvine told her, and stretched out to pass them to her.

She received his gift, and breathed in the scent of the flowers. "I love daisies," she said. She looked back up at him. "How did you know?"

Irvine smirked. She always had.

"I thought I might invite you to a twilight stroll on the beach before dinner," he said.

"Hmm," Selphie put a finger to her lip. She smiled. "Well, it's not like I can say no after the flowers!"

"Clever girl," Irvine told her.

The day was growing late and the sand was between her wet toes when he asked her about it.

"Say," he said, lightly splashing the tide with his foot. He turned to face her. His hands went out. "What do you think about taking a trip?"

Selphie blinked, and brushed her curled hair back. She looked up at him. "A trip?"

"A vacation," he said. "You, me, the whole gang. Let's camp out somewhere for a couple of days." His hands went to his hips, and he nodded to himself. "I could use a bit of quiet nature for a few days."

"Heeey!" Selphie said, and sprung up from her crouched position. She clapped her hands together. "Zell told me about a trip he wanted to take…" She lifted her hand. "Remember the missle base?"

Irvine thought for a moment. "Oh yeah," he said. "On the trip there, he mentioned wanting to go back to Dollet,"

"To CLIFF-DIVE!" Selphie threw her hand up. She nodded. "Awesome plan, Irvine."

"Wait," Irvine hesitated. He wasn't the biggest fan of heights.

"That'll be so fun!" she cheered. She clasped her arms around him, and although startled, he returned her embrace. She released him, and met his eyes. "Thanks for reminding me!"

Irvine held up his hands. _Anything to make her happy…_

"Don't mention it," he said.

"I'm STARVING!" Selphie said, dramatically grasping her stomach. "Let's go back," she nodded.

Irvine nodded in return, and the sun had nearly set by the time they reached the Garden gates.

* * *

Quistis made a bit of a scene when she entered. She was greeted by the knowing eyes of Irvine, the joyous smiles of Selphie and Rinoa, as well as the curious glances from Squall over her appearance. She wore a light blue summer dress she'd purchased in Balamb. It was a summer dress that fit her figure, and her hair was in its natural state, long passed her shoulder blades, with a braid at her crown. She grabbed a seat by Zell, who was too busy eating to notice her, and slowly sat, delicately placing her tray in front of her.

"Hey there Quiiiiistiiiis," Selphie cooed.

"Hello," Quistis said, her voice soft.

It was then that Zell noticed the scent of her perfume, and looked her over. "Hey!" he said. "Lookin' good, Quistis!"

Quistis felt herself blush, which was horrifyingly embarrassing to her. "Thank you, Zell."

Squall said nothing, but he was curious as to why she was dressed the way she was. She didn't offer up any information about it, nor did the others, so he was left to his own ponderings.

Irvine gave her a knowing smile, and silently returned to his coffee.

"What's up?" Zell asked, the one to cave first into curiosity. "Who you lookin' so good for?"

Quistis waved her hand. "No one," she lied. "I just wanted to try out some of my new clothes."

Zell decided that was enough and shrugged before he returned to his plate. Irvine and the girls breathed a sigh of relief, all perfectly happy with keeping Zell and Squall in the dark.

"Check it out," Selphie said, placing a map in front of Quistis.

Quistis looked down at the map of Dollet. She looked back up at Selphie in question.

"Cliff-diving," Zell said. He lifted his head at her. "You in?"

"Cliff-diving?" Quistis repeated.

"Our vacation!" Selphie exclaimed. "One last hurrah before I go."

"We leave tomorrow morning," Irvine said.

Quistis smiled at the spunky brunette. She thought for a moment. "You don't need me here," Quistis turned to Squall, "right?"

"No," he shook his head. "But thank you for asking," he said, narrowing his eyes at the others.

"I'm turning in the report today, Squall!" Zell groaned.

Squall crossed his arms over his chest. "I haven't read it yet. Nor have I approved it."

Zell rolled his eyes. "Are you really going to do that?"

"Probably not," Squall shrugged. He smirked at his devious use of rank.

"Ugh," Zell groaned.

"Heeeey," Selphie said, turning back to the matter at hand, "I wish you could come, Rinny."

The sorceress chuckled. "No thanks," Rinoa said. "I have zero interest in heights."

"You and Squall will find a way to have fun in Esthar, I'm sure," Irvine smirked. He winked at Squall, who rolled his eyes.

"Peanut butter and jealous," Selphie sighed.

Irvine raised a brow. "You into Squall, Selphie?" His eyes widened. "Or Rinoa...?"

"Let me finish," Selphie huffed. "GOD." She glared at him, earning a smirk in return. "I was gonna say, I'm jealous cause they get to hang out with Sir Laguna!"

"Why do you even call him that," Zell said, not bothering to turn away from his food as he spoke.

"Now that's a piece I could get into," Selphie grinned.

"Ugh," Squall scoffed.

He did not want to think about Laguna. He especially did not want to think about Selphie wanting to hook up with him.  
 _Aaand there it is..._  
He pinched the bridge of his nose at the image.

"He was sexy back in the day, and he's a sexy guy now!" Selphie leaned into her hand and sighed. "I'd kill to be Rinoa right now," Selphie grinned at her raven-haired friend. "I'd get all over that if I were you."

"Selphie," Rinoa said.

"That's it," Squall said, throwing his hand out. "Selphie, I'm going to cut your throat open and pull out your vocal chords."

Selphie rolled her eyes. "Not sexy, Squall. Weird. Creepy and weird."

Squall narrowed his eyes. "If you weren't an orphan, I'd kill your family."

"Fam's dead, kid," Selphie grinned. "Squall, don't be jealous. You'd be hot too if you were as fun as Sir Laguna."

"I will find the one thing you care about most," Squall told her, "and I will destroy it."

Selphie gave him an exaggerated yawn and turned back to her food.

"...You could poison the food," Rinoa whispered.

Squall pondered that. _...I'm making out with you later_ , he thought.


	7. Oh Seifer

Quistis waited at the 2nd floor balcony doorway when Edea turned down the hall. She was standing upright with her hands behind her back – sturdy and professional as usual.

Edea smiled as she approached her. "Hello, Quistis," she said warmly.

"Hello, Matron," Quistis replied. "Are you ready to depart?"

Edea nodded and went out of garden with Quistis close behind.  
She breathed in the salty air and smiled. She'd grown to like FH over time.

Quistis hit the controls and the door closed behind them. She turned and met Edea at her side.  
The two women walked together down the suspended iron platform.

"Did you have a nice visit?" Quistis asked.

Edea laughed. "I'm not sure if it was _nice_ , but it was productive."

"...I'm concerned about them," Quistis said, referring to the sorceress and her commander.

Edea looked at her and smiled gently, the way a mother smiles at a frightened child. "It is concerning," she agreed, then looked ahead. "But, they will be fine, so there's no need to worry."

Quistis nodded. She could accept a simple answer like that for now. They stood on the first lift, and Quistis shut the gate behind them and pulled the lever.

"What about you?" Edea asked as they descended.

Quistis looked at Matron, puzzled.

"If they knew what you were up to, they may be the ones who worry," Edea noted.

Quistis fought the urge to roll her eyes. "Oh, well, _I'll_ be fine, so there's no need for them to worry." When they reached the bottom, Quistis opened the gate for them.

"I know, my child," Edea said approvingly as she exited the platform. "Seifer is troubled, but he is by no means evil. I certainly did nothing to help... Perhaps you'll be the one to bring him back to the light,"

"Who, me?" Quistis asked as she shut the gate behind her.

Edea nodded. "He was always very fond of you, like Squall with Ellone," she laughed and shook her head. "Those boys all latched on to you girls like lifelines. Irvine, too. Zell, well… I suppose he wanted to latch on to everyone."

Quistis laughed. "Maybe. You'd think they'd all be better around girls by now,"

Edea laughed with her. "It all takes time, child. But," she looked at Quistis and smiled. "I think you are doing the right thing."

Quistis smiled hopefully. That was nice to hear. "You think so?" she asked.

Edea nodded. "Yes. I think he needs a friend. And somehow, I think you do, too."

Quistis nodded too. _Maybe._

"It will be difficult, rest assured," Edea cautioned. "But I'm sure it will be worth it in the end."

When they reached the center of the city, Edea turned. "Good luck, my dear."

Quistis tried to stop her. "I'll walk you down,"

"And climb all those stairs back up?" Edea shook her head. "Although you are young and healthy, I'd feel guilty asking that of anyone,"

Quistis laughed with her.  
Edea embraced her gently and kissed her cheek. "See you soon, love."

Quistis nodded and watched as Edea descended the seemingly endless staircase, waiting until she reached the Mayor's house.

She took a deep breath and thought to herself for a moment. She knew where he was staying. She knew which way to go. He knew she was coming. In all senses, she was completely ready.

Now all she had to do was turn and go.

She looked down at her feet refusing to move. _Strange_ , she thought. It was rare that things actually paralyzed her other than the occasional stop or petrify spell. She shook her head. _Shake it off, Quistis_ , she told herself.

She forced her boots to lift from the ground, though they felt kind of heavy. Once she got into a slow walking pace, it was easier for her to relax. Eventually, she was walking at a normal human-being pace. As she grew closer, she began to think of all the possible scenarios.

 _"Hi Seifer, what's new? How's life after being brainwashed and trying to kill us all? Oh yeah, how was it being beaten into a pulp?"_

Worst case? He'd go crazy nuts and slit her throat. Best case? She thought for a moment - what was the best case scenario?

It begged the question, what did she really want? Did she only want comfort in knowing that he was all right? Did she just want information to fill in the gaps? Or did she want more?

Did she want him to care if she was all right? Did she want to hear his story and leave him to his new life, or did she want him to know hers?

She shook her head - she was getting in too deep too quick.

Before she knew it, she found herself at Fujin's door.  
She observed the house, which all houses in FH were more like shacks. It looked like it could fit two, maybe three bedrooms. Not a lot of space for two guys and a very scary girl.  
She tried to imagine the living conditions. It made her cringe.  
She walked up the stoop and looked down at herself.

Overtly satisfied with her appearance, _Vanity, thy name is Quistis,_ she nodded to herself. _Ready._

She lifted her fist, but before she was able to knock on the door, it swung open violently.  
Quistis jumped a bit and withdrew her hand.  
She saw Fujin standing in the doorway, staring bullets at her with her unpatched eye.  
Quistis decided not to take it personally - Fujin always looked like that.

Quistis smiled awkwardly. "Fujin," she said. "Hey,"

"…Hi." Fujin said. She'd obviously been working on her usual aggressive tone. "Seifer," she added.

 _Though apparently she still speaks in one-word phrases..._

Quistis nodded. "Yeah. Is he home?"

"HOME? PLEASE," Fujin laughed. "Only for now,"

"…Right," Quistis said. "So, is he _here_?"

"SEIFER!" Fujin called into the house.

"Fujin, Hyne," Quistis heard his voice in the distance. She felt her throat tighten and her mouth dry. "I'm right here - you don't have to scream it at me,"

"…SORRY," Fujin apologized awkwardly.

Quistis saw Seifer roll his eyes at her as he emerged. Fujin disappeared into the house as quickly as she'd opened the door.

Seifer leaned on the doorway and crossed his arms. He was wearing his usual long gray tattered trench coat over black pants and a white shirt. His hair looked shorter, like it'd been cut recently. He looked Quistis up and down and grinned.

Quistis felt like rolling her eyes. But for some reason, she decided to ignore her usual defensive tendencies.

"My dear Instructor," he said.

She knew he would call her that. It almost made her cringe.  
 _I hate it when he calls me that..._

"To what do I owe this unexpected, yet highly anticipated pleasure?" he continued.

She took a deep breath. She reminded herself that she was an intelligent, strong, and super fine woman who was capable of talking to a man without falling to pieces.

"I wanted to see you, Seifer," she said, raising her palm. "I wanted to… Make sure you were okay,"

Seifer scoffed. "Of course - you're here, as baby-sitter Quisty, to make sure that poor evil Seifer isn't all messed up inside from everything,"

"What's all that about?" she asked. "I'm just concerned about you."

"I don't need your concern, Instructor," he spat.

Quistis frowned at him. "Well, I want to be concerned, okay?"

"I don't have time for our usual repretoire, Instructor," Seifer said. "So if this is about making you feel better, go ahead and feel whatever you like."

She paused for a moment. "It's not about me..."

"Then why, Quistis," he leaned in closer to her. "Tell me why you're here."

Quistis chewed on her lip for a moment.  
He stood to leave, and she moved to stop him.

 _If I don't have the courage to say it now, I never will..._

She took a breath. "I miss you," she said.

Seifer blinked. He observed her face to see if it was some sort of joke.  
But she was dead serious. He grinned.

 _Interesting,_ he thought.

She sighed at his reaction, like everything was a big joke to him. She wanted to continue before he could say anything else to make her feel pitiful.

"I miss you being around," she told him. "I worry about you. And… I've been thinking a lot about our past."

She looked to him to see any indication that he knew what she meant, but he had looked away from her.

When he looked back at her, she understood.

He knows…

She nodded before she continued. "I have these dreams of us sitting by the shore at the orphanage, building sand castles, talking about what we'd one day become."

She looked away, nudging her foot into the ground. "Sometimes when I eat, I think about the times when we used to eat together, and how you would always want to talk about where all the different foods came from, how they were made. Roots, history - they were so important to you." She looked back up at him. "That's why you were always so mad we had no family,"

"Quistis-" he said, but she silenced him by placing her hand on his chest.

"When I smell the ocean, I think of you, and those hours we spent on the shore. I remember how you would always tell me when the others made you mad. I remember you trying to beat up Squall once because he and I were playing together. Ellone and I had to break you apart. You said it was because I was your friend, not his." She laughed, remembering the look of confusion on Squall's face over the scuffle. She went on. "You told me when the others made you sad. You told me about how you were afraid of being adopted, because you didn't want to leave your friends." She smiled at him, touched by the nostalgia. "I remember you told me, 'out of everyone here, you're my best friend.' When I was adopted, I promised I'd still come to see you, I'd be there for you. I'm here now because I want to keep that promise. I may have forgotten for a while, but I'm here for you now."

"…Quistis," he repeated, but with less urgency in his voice. He sounded almost defeated. He looked into her eyes, how they reflected truth and longing. He decided that this was not good. There was no way he wanted to be in control of himself over this situation. He had to send her away. He had to tell her to leave, and convince her to stay gone.

… _What the hell is going on?_

He couldn't help remembering, picturing the shore break, the two of them sitting on a moss-covered log together.

" _I've decided - out of everyone here, you're my best friend. So, if we get adopted, I hope we can go together,_ "

" _Yeah_ ," Quistis smiled at him. " _That would be cool. I like you the best, too._ "

"I'm here because you were the best friend I had," Quistis said, interrupting his internal conference, "and I'm sorry that I haven't been there for you lately. But I'm here now."

 _Best friend she had? That… Is just sad,_ he thought. He tried not to let the guilt get to him.

"Quistis-" he said for a third, and hopefully, final time. "You can't do that."

She blinked, surprised by his command. "Why not?" she asked, placing a defensive hand on her hip.

He cringed inwardly. _Why does she have to argue? Why can't she just… Understand? Why am I the one explaining this to her?_

"Because," he said, suddenly frustrated. "I like you, Quistis - I don't want you over there at Garden always frettin' about me. You need to understand that I ain't goin' back - that's not my life anymore,"

"I know that," she said, wondering what that had to do with anything.

He shook his head. "No, you don't. It's best you start getting used to it. I don't want you a part of any of this, Quistis. And I bet you nobody else does, either."

She frowned, thinking of her friend's disapproval. It was only because they didn't understand. Apparently he didn't, either.

"So what?" she asked. "Who cares what they want?"

"I don't care, and it doesn't matter - it's what I want, too," he said.

"So, that's it?" she said, throwing her hand down in defeat. "After everything we've been through? After everything that's happened, you have no interest in retaining our friendship?" She held her hand to her chest. "You just wanna be alone?"

" _What_ friendship?" he scoffed.

She blinked, suddenly unsure of what to say.

"There's nothin' between us," he clarified, "hasn't been for a long time. That was when we were kids."

"So you do remember," she said.

"Of course I do," he insisted, shaking his head in disbelief. "I don't use GFs frequently. I know my past, I remember it well. That's why I want you to get out of here and get on with your life. You're better off without me - always have been,"

"I don't think so," she said sternly.

He looked at her, now himself unsure of what to say next.

She sighed. "I think… That I need you in my life, as much as you need me. I want you to be around. I want to get to know you again. I can help you,"

"I don't need your help," he spat. "Last chick who tried to 'help me' used me to kill a bunch of people,"

"Seifer," she said, offended that he would compare her to a selfish blood-thirsty sorceress. "Come on - I'm not going to use you. I want to help you with whatever you need - I want you to be happy,"

He sighed along with her and looked down. "This… Sure is weird," he admitted after a while.

"Tell me about it," she breathed.

"Quistis, look… I just… I can't deal with all that," he said weakly.

"It doesn't look like I'm giving you a choice," she said.

He sighed and threw up his hands in defeat. "All right, fine."

He sat down on the stoop and crossed his arms over his legs.  
"So, you wanna talk? Let's talk... What do you want to know?"

Quistis sat down next to him, thinking about where to begin. "You feelin' okay?"

He shrugged. "Physically, yeah. Still a little unstable emotionally. But, hey, it ain't too far off for me, anyway."

She smiled at his humor, albeit sadly. "…How's Fujin's place workin' out?"

"Fine," he said. "They're cool about it. They're all concerned about me, too. It's starting to get on my nerves,"

"Sorry about that," Quistis said.

He shrugged again. "You get possessed and almost kill all your friends, people tend to get concerned,"

"Right. I was… Hoping I could ask you a little bit about that," she said.

"What?"

"About being possessed," she clarified.

 _Great - my favorite topic of interest._ "I don't remember much of it." He kept it simple.

"Can you at least tell me anything you remember about being a knight?"

"Why?" he questioned, puzzled.

She turned away, a little worried about what his reaction may be. "I'd… Like to help Rinoa with it,"

"You mean Rinoa and Squall. Dumbass," Seifer said, looking away. "I knew he'd do the same stupid thing I did."

"What do you mean?" Quistis asked.

"I knew the second she came into his life, he'd get lost in her. She draws people in, and he's like a fish just waiting to be caught by a pretty piece of bait. Saw that comin'." He rolled his eyes with a scoff. " _And_ I knew that when she became a sorceress, he was gonna be the first in line to become her knight. Dumbass," he repeated.

He looked at Quistis and frowned. "It's just a fancy word for puppet. She makes him empty promises. He assists her in the slayings. She controls his mind and makes him do whatever she wants. Honestly, I really thought Squall was smarter than that." His voice drifted off, as he seemed to say the last part to himself.

"Well, they're gonna work on it," Quistis said, frowning at his cynicism. "Matron's helping them. They're trying to control it. That's why I need your help,"

"Tch, good luck. It ain't gonna happen," he said bitterly. "If you know what's good for you, you'll stay far away from them."

Quistis frowned. "You have no faith that they could improve?"

He sighed, coming to a troubling realization, and shook his head. "I knew you'd come here for somethin',"

She looked at him, puzzled.

He stood and looked down at her. "I had no control over all the shit that happened to me or anyone else. I got no advice for Mr. Hero and his sorceress. I can't help you, so why don't you make the trek back to your Garden and stay out of my business?"

Quistis stood angrily. She was pretty good at being composed, but Seifer had always tried her patience to an extreme degree. She looked at him sternly.

"Dammit Seifer, I'm not here for them - I'm here for you. Just because I want to help them too doesn't mean that I don't care about you. Can you stop acting like a selfish prick for once and see that?" She fought back the tears forming in her eyes from all her frustration.

He stood to meet her. He crossed his arms and scoffed. "Yeah, everyone's always lookin' out for Seifer,"

She felt the tears begin to spill despite herself and she wiped them away with the back of her hand.

"Stop it. Why do you always have to act so defensively? Why do you try so hard to push me and everyone else away?" She shook her head. "I'm not gonna let you get to me - I promised myself that I wouldn't,"

He was surprised and felt a pang of guilt at her tears, but pushed it aside. "Don't make promises you can't keep," he said curtly.

She withdrew her arm and before she knew it, she'd slapped him clear across his face. She listened to the smacking noise echo and suddenly regretted her outburst. She lifted her hand to her mouth.

He turned back to face her with a displeased look. "Ahh," he seethed, holding his cheek. He dropped his arm. "That _stings_ ,"

"I'm sorry," she said quickly. She placed her hands on his face gently. "Oh, I'm sorry, Seifer, I didn't..."

He looked down at her hands resting on his face. Suddenly his urge to scold her was replaced by something else entirely. The feeling was familiar to him, but nevertheless it made him uneasy.

"Well," he said after a while, "it's not the first time you've slapped me,"

She couldn't help but laugh. There were many times she'd smacked him when they were kids, for one reason or another - but it was always for a _good_ reason. "You're good at getting me to my breaking point," she huffed.

He smiled confidently. "I guess it's because you like me so much."

She shrugged. "Maybe." She dropped her hands down to her sides.

He looked into her eyes and felt that familiar pull of desire. He reveled in her closeness. It had been a long time since he'd been close to a woman. It had been even longer since he'd been close to her. He wasn't sure he could handle the fruition of Quistis coming back into his life, but, like she'd said, she wasn't giving him much of a choice. He knew that he was weak in many ways and this was certainly one of them.

"I'm glad you came, Quistis," he sighed.

"I am too," she smiled. "Though I'm not as glad that I had to literally smack the sense into you,"

He shrugged. "I'm not exactly a fast learner." He looked at her sternly. "But, I still think it's not exactly a good idea for you to be messin' around with me. It'll give you a bad rep."

Quistis rolled her eyes. "What rep?" She raised a brow. "And what do you mean – ' _messin'_ around?'"

"That's not a part of the getting-to-know-you plan?" He smiled suggestively.

She laughed. "I don't think so,"

He closed the gap between their bodies and stood before her. She gasped at his sudden closeness, like she hadn't seen him move. He hovered over her lips.

"That's a shame," he said.

She closed her eyes in response, her lips came apart.  
Seifer pulled away and laughed. Quistis placed her hands on her hips and frowned at him.

"Wow. You're pretty easy," he said. "Guess you haven't been with anyone as long as I have,"

"Gross." She rolled her eyes at his indiscretion. "Don't make fun," she cautioned.

He laughed. "No need to be defensive," he said. "And no need to be shy. We were always meant to be lovers, dear Quistis," he placed his arm around her. "It's destiny. Soul-mates, if you will," he continued.

"Quit it," she said, pushing his arm off her shoulders.

"Let's be reasonable - we're adults," he said.  
She rolled her eyes and fought the blush forming in her cheeks.  
"So, like I said earlier, you really wanna get mixed up with me? 'Cause if you do," he shook his head, "I got no intention of just being your friend,"

She blinked in response. She was petrified and insulted by his directness. But at the same time, she had to admit his aggression was pretty alluring.

He continued. "If anything, Instructor, I've been wantin' to try you out for a while now."  
It was his defense to be crude, though he knew deep down his affection for her had been far from lustful.

"Seifer!" she squealed and placed her hands on her hips. "That's… Ungentleman-like…"

He shrugged. "Not a gentleman, never claimed to be. I won't become one, and I refuse to play weird relationship games. If you can deal with that, I can be good to you, in more ways than one," he smiled at her.

"…Now _this_ is weird," Quistis said, unable to control her blush any longer. Her cheeks felt burning hot.

Seifer laughed. "It is. But, I think it could be fun," he approached her again and brushed her long blonde hair behind her shoulder. He let his hand rest on the curve of her neck. "Why don't you get what you came here for?"

"I came here for a friend, not a lay," she said.

He raised a brow. "You sure about that?"

He smirked at her lack of response.  
He stood and went into the house, closing the door behind him.

Quistis watched the door in amazement. _...What the hell?_ She blinked. _Did he seriously just leave?_

Seifer came back out and closed the door behind him again, holding two bottles in his hand. He handed one to her and plopped back down onto the stoop.  
She shrugged and took a seat beside him.

"I had to get through a few of these to see you," he said.

Quistis laughed a little at that. "Being around me is that hard, huh?"

"Sure," he shrugged. "But not in the way you think."

They shared a surprisingly comfortable silence for a while. They hadn't done such a thing since they were younger. Quistis wondered how much he remembered, and if she was the reason they'd disconnected. Could they have always shared silences? Could they have always been this comfortable around each other?

 _How much have we lost?_

She shook her head, not wanting to dive too deeply again. She looked over at him. He met her eyes.

"What's gonna happen to you, Seifer?"

Seifer shrugged. "Probably nothing. The only party that could really be pissed at me is Garden, and Cid won't do shit to me. He has a soft spot for me and all."

Quistis shrugged.

Seifer raised a brow at her. "How was it? Ultimecia?"

"Intimidating," Quistis admitted with a nod.

"You made it out okay," Seifer said, crossing his arms over his chest and looking down at his feet.

"Yeah," Quistis said.

There was a long silence between them.

"...So, how does this work?" he asked her.

Quistis put a finger to her lip. "I'm not really sure."

He looked over at her and laughed. "You're not good at making friends, are you, Quistis?"

"I figured my work was mostly done," she shrugged. She looked over at him and grinned. "Why else would I pick you?"

"Whatever," he laughed.

* * *

Squall had wanted to freshen up and change before heading to Rinoa's place, and he was arriving at her door precisely the time they agreed upon. He had a feeling she would need a few more minutes to get ready herself, as her schedule regularly ran ten to fifteen minutes later than actual time. Wearing sweats and a simple white tee, was outside of her door when he heard it.

He stopped, and listened. He heard the faint waves of her voice. Squall moved closer, and rest his ear on her door.

He raised his brows at the sound of her singing. The melody was something deep and intense, and her bravado gave him goose pimples. He'd never heard her sing before, and he closed his eyes at the sound. When she hit a particularly hard note, he chuckled.

"Damn," he said. Few others knew about Squall's interest in music, or his passion for a few well-placed notes. He'd never had the time to learn an instrument for himself, but he'd always fooled around with them when he had the opportunity. He'd never bothered trying to sing.

When her song was over and Squall was satisfied, he knocked on her door. Her smile was radiant when she opened the door. She wore comfortable-looking white shorts, and a thin yellow tank top. He couldn't help smiling back at her.

"Hey," she said, her voice soft.

"Hey," he said.

She moved the door for him. "Come in."

"I heard you sing," he told her as he entered.

Rinoa closed the door, turned off the music, and met him with her hands on her hips. "Squall!" she said. She pointed. "You shouldn't eavesdrop on people." She turned away from him, hiding her blush.

"Sorry," he said, holding up his hands. He hadn't expected her to react that way. But understanding Rinoa's tendencies was still a fairly new thing for him. "It was nice," he shrugged.

She grinned, then turned back to face him. She waved her hand. "It's okay," she said. She ran her foot back and forth, a gesture she did when she was nervous. She met his eyes. "...You like music?"

He shrugged again. "Who doesn't?"

"Yeah," she laughed. "I guess you're right."

"Rinoa," he said, stepping closer to her, and stopping at a comfortable distance. "Your voice is beautiful."

"Stop," she said, turning away again. "Seriously."

"Okay," he said, and chuckled at her.

She turned back. She gave him a smile, and clasped her hands behind her back. "That's so nice of you to say, Squall," she said.

He shook his head. "It's true,"

Rinoa plopped down on her couch, and invited him to do the same. He sat, and she spoke.

"I had lessons as a kid," she said. "Well," she added, "technically… until I left my father's house last year…"

Squall smiled, amused by her royal lifestyle, which had been not been so different from his own. While she was learning to sing and dance, he was learning how to attack and defend.

"You should sing for me more," he told her.

"I told you," she pointed, "stop."

He smirked.

It was the middle of the night when he awoke, or at least it felt like it. Squall was abnormally warm, and quickly remembered the reason as he opened his eyes. Rinoa's back was pressed against his chest, and a blanket covered them both.

He'd had an impressive few hours of sleep. He felt unusually refreshed, despite being stretched out on a couch. Something about sleeping with her refueled him. He would be embarrassed to admit how much he enjoyed being close to her, and the thought of spending every night by her side. He would never admit how he longed to stay with her as long as she would let him.

His reverie was broken as she shuttered. He pulled her closer, but she continued to shake.

 _The dreams…_

…

 _Rinoa_ …

* * *

They spent a few more hours talking before Seifer escorted Quistis back to Garden.

She was surprised that he'd offered to escort her, despite the palpable awkwardness of spending a significant amount of time together. Though their time together had been anything but awkward, neither could deny that it should have felt like a strange situation. They both felt the need to work it out amongst themselves.

She promised to call him soon, and he left her with a shrug.

When she reached her room, Quistis collapsed on her bed, pleased with herself.

She'd reached out, and seemed to be getting through to him. She wondered if it was important to her because of those years as his instructor, or if it was simply important to her.

Regardless, the encounter made her realize how little genuine interaction she had with anyone outside her small circle, and even those encounters were limited. It was nice to simply feel comfortable with someone. She hoped this time hadn't been a fluke.

 _Maybe this will work out..._


	8. Off We Go

After Quistis had a few hours of sleep, she met up with Selphie and Rinoa at the pub in Balamb for brunch. She was achingly tired and felt like a mess, but she had promised to meet them, and wanted nothing to seem out of the ordinary. The instructor collected the three glasses in her hand.

She returned to their table and passed the drinks out.  
The girls clinked the bottles together and drank.

"Ooooooh my gooooood," Selphie screeched, clenching her fists together. "I can't take it anymore." She took another long sip. "Quistis," she said. "You have to tell us. Everything."

Rinoa raised a brow.

"I saw Seifer yesterday," Quistis explained.

"Oh, wow," Rinoa said.

"More like _last night_ ," Selphie corrected her, " _and_ you were out super late. Nida says you came back well after curfew."

"Dammit, Nida," Quistis huffed.

"It's not his fault," Selphie shrugged. "He thought he was simply helping out a concerned friend." Selphie started to sniffle and fake cry. "'I dunno where she is, I thought she'd call me last night but she hasn't called and I dunno-'"

"Alright," Quistis held up her hand. "Why can't we ever, I don't know, talk about something other than men?"

"We could," Selphie rolled her eyes. "But where's the fun in that?"

"Selphie, simmer down a bit," Rinoa told her.

"Oh," Selphie said, realizing that Rinoa may not appreciate her behavior. "Right. Sorry." She hadn't discussed Seifer with Rinoa at all and had no idea how she'd feel about any of it.

Rinoa dismissed Selphie's apologetic look and turned back to Quistis. "How was it?"

"What?" Quistis widened her eyes. "It wasn't _anything_. I didn't do anything with him."

"Aww, for real?" Selphie groaned. She threw her hands down. "Why not?"

Rinoa rolled her eyes. "I meant, how was it, seeing him?"

"Oh," Quistis said.

Rinoa ran her thumb over her bottom lip. "Why would you jump to that conclusion...?"

Quistis ignored that. "It was... Nice, actually." She shrugged. "He seems to be doing pretty well."

"Really?" Selphie asked.

Quistis nodded. "His living conditions are kind of rough. His life has become a little less classy, but, I think he likes it that way."

"Is he happy?" Rinoa asked gently.

Quistis nodded again. "Yeah. I think he's happy. I'm glad I got to see him."

"You sure do seem more at ease," Selphie noted, eyeing her up and down.

Quistis laughed. "Maybe," she confessed. "I guess I was just worried about him."

"Did he treat you okay?" Rinoa asked.

Quistis smiled a little awkwardly, not really sure how to answer. "Not at first," she said. "But, after a while, he was, well, as nice as I think Seifer can be," she managed. "He asked about you," Quistis added. "Well, not directly, but he did mention a kind of general concern for your well-being."

"That's nice," Rinoa said.

Quistis nodded at her. "And he promised to help me out with, you know, your situation."

"You dying?" Selphie asked Rinoa.

"We're all dying, Selphie," Rinoa preached.

"Ugh," Selphie turned back to her beer. "You hang out with Squall too much."

The other girls laughed.

"Her sorceress/knight situation," Quistis elaborated.

"Hey, yeah," Selphie turned back, "what's up with that?"

"Oh, you know," Rinoa shrugged and took a sip from her drink, "just have to perform magical blood rituals to mind-meld with a potential sociopath so I don't kill a bunch of people in the quest for world domination."

Selphie pursed her lips. She looked over at Quistis and leaned over. "See, I'm not sure if she's joking..."

"That's the fun part," Rinoa said, "no one does."

"As much as I love disturbing and sardonic Rinoa," Quistis said, "I'm not sure it's such a laughing matter..."

"Nah," Rinoa waved her hand. "It's not. But hey, a girl has to get by."

"For real, though," Selphie blinked, "blood rituals?" She grinned. "Cause that sounds awesome."

"It's how I get my mystic powers," Rinoa said, wiggling her fingers at Selphie.  
"Are you and Seifer gonna be friends again?" she asked Quistis.

"I think so," Quistis said, letting a smile slip onto her face.  
"We'll keep in touch." She left it at that.

Rinoa nodded. "I'm glad," she said. "I'm really glad he's doing well, and that you got what you went there for,"

"Yeah. I am too," she said. "It's a relief."

"So, no more scandalous details?" Selphie pouted.

"Sorry, Selph," Quistis shrugged. She leaned on her palm and grinned. "You could always fill us in on how things are on the western frontier." She raised a brow at the brunette.

Selphie scrunched her nose. "Why do you think I live vicariously through you people?" She turned back to Rinoa. "Seriously, I wanna hear about this blood ritual."

Rinoa rolled her eyes. "Maybe another time, Selphie."

Quistis felt the vibration in her pocket. She pulled out the phone and looked at it quizzically.

"Work?" Selphie asked.

Quistis shook her head. "It's… Seifer," she said.

"Seifer?" Selphie repeated.

"Should I answer it?" Quistis asked hurriedly.

"I don't know!" Selphie cried. She looked back and forth, turning it in her brain.

"Yes, answer it," Rinoa concluded.

Quistis went to open the phone but Selphie said, "wait, don't answer it! Let it go to voicemail!"

Quistis rolled her eyes, opened the phone and placed it to her ear.  
She turned away from the girls, though they lingered close behind her.

"…This is Quistis,"

" _Oh, I must have the wrong number then,_ " she heard his sarcastic voice on the other line.

"What?" she asked. Selphie peered over her shoulder.

" _Who answers the phone like that, anyway?_ " he asked. " _'This is Quistis.' Obviously I know it's you, I'm calling you,_ "

Quistis rolled her eyes. "What's up, Seifer?"

" _I thought it was polite to call a girl the next day,_ "

"Well," Quistis replied, her voice low, "we didn't do anything, and you're not polite. So why are you really calling?" She heard him laugh.

" _Ah, dear instructor, you know me too well. It just so happens,_ " he began, " _that I will be in Balamb next week._ _Rajin has some business there, and I'll be accompanying him. I have no interest in paying Garden a visit, but I do have interest in seeing you, so you may visit me if you like. We'll be staying at the inn._ "

Quistis thought for a moment, a little puzzled by his proposition. It was like he was giving her _permission_ to come see him.

" _While you contemplate saying 'yes,'_ " Seifer interrupted her thoughts, " _I will say that I have a new-found interest in assisting your lovebird friends, if you're more interested in discussing that._ "

"I'll be there," Quistis said, summing up her thoughts in three words.

" _Next Friday?_ " he proposed.

Quistis thought. She'd be back from Dollet and back to her normal routine by then.  
She nodded. "Sure."

" _Until then, dear Quistis,_ " he said.

She heard the phone disconnect, and she looked at the screen. _This newfound relationship...thing... Is pretty damn weird._

"What did he say?" Selphie squealed. "You'll be where? Are you going out on a date?"

Quistis nudged Selphie aside as she put her phone back in her pocket. "Geeze, Selphie, give a girl some room to breathe," she said.  
She took a sip from her drink as Selphie somehow managed to keep getting closer to her.

"You totally are," Selphie said. "You and Seifer are totally _dating_ now, aren't you?"

"Selphie," Quistis stilled her. "Seifer and I are not ' _dating_ ,' okay? It's way too soon for that. We literally just saw each other."

"Come on Quistis," Selphie whined. "At least tell us what _really_ happened in FH,"

"Nope," Quistis said, finishing the last of her beer.

Selphie frowned. She turned to Rinoa. "Blood magic?"

"Still no," Rinoa said.

It was then the girls noticed Irvine approaching their table. He tipped his hat and gave them a slight bow, which made them giggle, despite themselves.

"Howdy ladies," he said.

"Drink?" Quistis asked, tipping the glass in her hand.

He held up his hand. "As much as I would love to share a drink with three extraordinary women," he sighed, "I've been asked to retrieve you. Zell is picking up the rental car, and he wants your gear packed and ready to go."

"Boooo," Selphie said. "This trip is gonna be amazing, but brunch is good, too!"

Irvine dragged a chair over to the table and sat down by Selphie.  
"Maybe I will just have one..." He motioned for the server.

* * *

When Zell managed to push the trunk door shut, he sighed and wiped his hands together.

"That's everything," he said. "There's only enough room left for your personal bags."  
He looked at Quistis and narrowed his eyes. "Small bags," he emphasized.

Quistis rolled her eyes, her arms crossed over her chest. "I got it,"

"We'll meet at precisely seventeen-hundred to depart," Zell said, checking his digital wristwatch. "The train leaves at six - we've gotta have all this stuff in by then."

Irvine nodded. He pulled a map from his pocket and opened it.  
"We'll stay in Dollet tonight. Tomorrow we'll take four-wheelers to the cliffs. That gives us a good three or four days of fun before we have to think about heading back."

"This is gonna kick ass," Selphie said, nodding in approval.

"That it will," Zell agreed. "Alright," he looked at his watch. "See you all in a few hours."

* * *

Around the same time the others were packing for their trip, Squall and Rinoa were packing their bags for Esthar. Rinoa dropped Angelo with Xu, who enthusiastically promised to keep the pup safe. She waved to Xu and Angelo one last time before she sat down in the copilot seat.

"You think Xu will be alright?" Rinoa tilted her head. "I don't know if I've ever seen her take a break."

Squall shrugged, his hands busy operating the control panel and taking the ship into the air.

"She works nights and early mornings," Squall replied. "She doesn't take many breaks, but she has a good vacation coming her way once Cid returns. She also would not have agreed to take Angelo if she couldn't handle it, or if she didn't want to."

"Cool," Rinoa said, having since stood up and strolling around the bridge.

"I'm having a lot of flashbacks about our past lately," she said. She smiled at him. "Can I sit in your lap?"

He shook his head. "Not this time."

"That's what you said last time," she frowned.

"Yeah, well, now I know better," he confirmed. "I know your tricks."

She laughed and clicked her seat belt in. "Okay, fine, I'll be good this time."

"Sure," he said, rolling his eyes. "I'm still not your mother."

She placed her hands on her hips. "Shut up. You love hugging me."

"Debatable," he said.

"Just pilot the damn ship," she rolled her eyes. Rinoa watched as he carefully directed the ship. Then, she suddenly frowned. "You… Do know how to pilot this thing, right?"

Squall sighed. "Rinoa, do you really think I would risk both our lives and fly this thing, not knowing anything about it?"

"Yes," she said, crossing her arms.

He kept his eyes focused in front of him, avoiding her cold stare. "…Okay," he admitted, "so, I don't know much about piloting,"

"We're gonna die," she said. She shook her head. "We're gonna die," she repeated, more accepting.

"Come on," he said, "you're gonna trust your life in Selphie's piloting hands, Irvine's, or even Zell's? But with me, you're gonna die?"

Rinoa looked away, but didn't across her arms. "Well," she pouted, "you would have a motive,"

Squall laughed pretty hard at that, which surprised her. She frowned, looking a tad uneasy.

"Relax," he said, "I took plenty of time learning how to fly this thing. And the trip to Esthar isn't exactly an arduous one."

She thought for a moment. "Then why can't I sit in your lap?"

"Look, if you really want to-"

"Meh," she interrupted. She placed her hands on the back of her head and leaned back, placing her boots on the counsel. "How long do we have until Esthar?"

He sighed, giving up. "Hm. Maybe three hours," he said.

"'Three hours?'" she repeated. "To Esthar?"

"Don't want to push the engines too hard,"

"Squall," Rinoa protested. "You're delaying our arrival, aren't you?"

"…It's the scenic route," he offered.

"In the sky?" She threw her hands down and looked at him. "Squall," she whined.

"All right, fine," he agreed. "I'll go faster."

"You seem more anxious about this than ever," Rinoa said after a while. She turned in her seat to face him. "Is it something Ellone said when she called last night?"

He concentrated on piloting. "Yes and no," he answered slowly.

She waited, and he caved, knowing that wouldn't be good enough for her and he'd have to explain.

"She settled my mind a bit, because she assured me that I'll be glad I came, that it will be good for all of us."

Rinoa smiled. "Great,"

"But…" Squall continued, "she also said that I was going to learn a lot of things I might not be happy about. This confirms my earlier assumption that I would not enjoy this trip, and therefore it makes my potential anxiety actual anxiety."

"…I see," Rinoa said. "Come on, it can't be that bad," she suggested. "She said things you might not be happy about… So, apparently, it's all a matter of perspective."

He almost shuttered. He had no intention of altering his perspective on, well, anything. "We'll just have to see," he said.

Rinoa nodded, turning back in her seat. "You'd think you'd want to get there faster… Get it over with,"

"Oh, don't worry," Squall said. "Once we're finished, we'll be out of there."

"Oh Squall," Rinoa sighed dramatically. "I just don't get you. Maybe one day I'll know why this bothers you so much,"

He shrugged. "I told you I was complicated,"

She laughed. "Yeah... I guess you did. But I like you anyway."

He chuckled. "I'm glad you're taking pleasure in my company. Not many people do."

She placed her hand over his and smiled warmly. "That's because not many people know you, that's all."

He smiled and felt the familiar heat beneath the skin on his face. "I guess so," he said.

"Squall," she said gently. She always seemed to get his attention when she said his name that way.

Sure enough, he looked up at her, his face neutral.  
She smiled and raised a brow. "I think you might not take pleasure in other's company."

He shook his head. "Now that doesn't sound like me."

She laughed at his sarcasm, then put her serious face back on.

"It's okay to feel that way, you know. It's okay to want be to solitary. But you're lucky enough to have people who care about you, so don't let your solitary needs push them away. Your friends, they love you, and they respect you. They only want you to be happy… Even if they don't really know how to show it," she shrugged as well. "Everyone takes pleasure in your company - I think you're the one who needs rearranging."

Squall almost scoffed. But he had to admit, he had always loved the way she said everything she was thinking. She was precisely herself. She liked to support him and often tried to convince him to be less… Miserable. It was touching, after living a life where no one really cared how he felt about anything. It was a constant tug-of-war for him to remain his reserved, comfortable self or to leave that comfort and open himself up to things that he had never looked forward to. He didn't want to be pressured into it, but he wondered if he would ever change without the pressure.

Rinoa watched Squall deep in thought and suddenly became nervous at his silence. "Was… That too much?" She bit her bottom lip.

He laughed. She gave him a confused look with a tilt of her head. He shook his head at her. "It's nothing. I was just thinking about how I admire the way you say everything you think."

"Can I have that in writing?" she laughed, stunned at his words.

If anyone knew anything about saying too much and having their foot end up in their mouth, it was Rinoa. Her mouth got her into trouble on a constant basis. But she couldn't help who she was, so she could only try to reserve herself at times. Hearing Squall say that he admired that about her was more than a little surprising. She smiled at that – they really did compliment each other, for better and worse.

"Well… What do you think?" she asked.

"About what?"

"What I said, duh." She rolled her eyes.

"Oh. Right. Well, I have weighed the pros and cons of your argument, and I think that you may be right about some things."

"'Some things?'" She eyed him suspiciously.

He crossed his arms over his chest. "Well, I think you're right when you say everyone loves and respects me. But I'm not about to rearrange anything soon, so you'd better think up another plan."

"Squall, don't think you can get out of this by using humor," Rinoa cautioned.

He shrugged. "My options are exhausted."

She laughed. "I can't stand you, sometimes."

He eyed her. "And don't think flattery will work, because it won't."

She scoffed and rolled her eyes. "Please. I don't think there's enough flattery on the planet to fill your ego."

"That hurts my ego."

She laughed again and hit him in the arm. "Stop!"

"Okay. I'm finished."

"Thank goodness," she sighed.

Once he had the ship on auto-pilot, he turned his body to face her.

"Let's talk Timber," Squall suggested. _I promise I haven't forgotten._

Rinoa gave him a smile, then nodded, leaning closer to him and putting on her serious face. "You found some stuff out?"

"Some," he shrugged.

"Lay it on me," she agreed.

"Most of the soldiers have already cleared out since we left the sentries behind," Squall began. Rinoa nodded, knowing that. "But Galbadia won't give up ownership of Timber that easily," he lifted his hand.

Rinoa huffed, but allowed him to continue.

"We can get Galbadian presence out of Timber and keep it out - the tougher battle will be the political one."

He hesitated a moment, before placing his hand on hers. "One we can't help you with."

Rinoa frowned and looked at him with a sense of desperation that he wished she didn't feel. He removed his hand.

"Unless you want to beat up your father," he added with a smirk.

She snorted, and smiled weakly at him. "That may have to be, at a later date. But you're with me until Timber is free. It seems you're contractually obligated to me indefinitely."

"Could be," he shrugged.

"How's it feel?" she asked, giving him a wicked smile.

"Moving on," he said, deciding to ignore her comment. "Nida is looking for the white SeeD ship. He should find it by the time we're back from Esthar. When we know more and have Zone and Watts, we'll figure out a plan."

"Great," she clasped her hands. "Sounds like you've got a plan together, Squall!"

It didn't quite feel that way to him, but he supposed he had more of a plan than anyone else for the future of Timber.

* * *

After piling everything onto the train, the group decided to play some cards to pass the time. Irvine observed his hand carefully. He chose one and placed it down on the table. He watched Zell, waiting for him to make his move.

Zell smirked, playing without hesitation. "Plus," he said as he slapped the card onto the table. He flipped the two adjacent cards and looked back up. "You shouldn't leave yourself open like that."

Irvine rolled his eyes, but mentally kicked himself for disregarding the closed rule. "When did you get so good at math?" he retorted.

Zell snorted, leaning back in his seat.

On the other side of the cabin, Quistis and Selphie had cards in their hands as well, but they mindlessly threw down cards to mask their real intentions. Quistis threw down another card.

"Tell me about the call from Seifer," Selphie said quietly.

Quistis looked over her shoulder at the guys in the corner. Zell was easy to evade. Irvine on the other hand… She looked back at Selphie hesitantly.

"What if they hear me? I'm not ready to tell everybody yet," Quistis said under her breath. "Zell… May have some issues with it."

"Come on," Selphie whispered.

Quistis rolled her eyes. "We just talked."

Selphie chuckled, placing down another random card. "So, he hasn't been a complete jerk,"

Quistis shrugged. "Only as much as you'd expect." She threw down another card, and they giggled.

"Enough about me," Quistis said, aiming the conversation away from herself for once. "I'd like to hear more about you."

"Me?" Selphie asked, gesturing toward herself. "What about me?"

"You told me you were having feelings for..." Quistis said and tilted her head towards Irvine.

Selphie eyed her, placing her finger to her lips.

"Shh!" she said. "Keep it down."

Quistis rolled her eyes, though it was nice to dose Selphie with her own medicine.  
"So is it going anywhere?" she asked in a lower voice.

Selphie looked at the ground, her face displaying unease.  
"Oh come on, Quistis," she said, throwing another card down. "We're just friends. Besides, why would I want to get into that now?"

Quistis blinked at her sudden change in demeanor, then shrugged. "Why not?"

"Because," Selphie began as she lowered her voice, "I'm leaving for Trabia at the end of the month. And when I go, I'll never see him. It's hard enough leaving my friends - why would I start a relationship?"

"I see your point," Quistis said, "but obviously you thought about it, which means you are interested. And, you know, you can always do what you want with your future."

Selphie shook her head. "This is something I have to do."

"It's not your fault, Selphie, what happened in Trabia," Quistis said delicately. She knew it was a sore subject. "...You don't have to chase your past."

"He IS my past!" Selphie said at a surprising level.

Zell and Irvine looked over curiously at her sudden outburst, and Selphie frowned.

"I need some air," she said, throwing her cards down. She stood and left the cabin, the door hissing shut behind her.

Zell rolled his eyes. "Women," he said, turning back to the game.

"Is she all right?" Irvine asked.

Quistis sighed. "Yeah," she lied. "She's just… Bein' Selphie…"

She thought of following her, but didn't want to provoke her further, or stir suspicion. Instead she sat back in her seat, and wondered what she could do to help her friend in the limited time they had left together.

The train screeched and hissed as it finally came to a stop, but the quartet was silent as they removed their luggage and prepared to exit. No one had said much since Selphie's outburst, and the feeling of awkward discomfort weighed on them. It seemed to take forever for the doors to finally open, and when they did Zell jumped out triumphantly, his arms stretched out wide.

"Ahh," he sighed. "That trip is definitely faster by boat. Trains are slow. And boats don't screech. They're better on fuel consumption. We're from Balamb. Why didn't we take a boat? What's with the train?" He was determined to break the ice, even if he were the only one saying anything.

"Come on," Quistis suggested. "Let's get some rest."

* * *

After a few hours had passed, Rinoa stretched her arms. She leaned back into the seat and looked over at Squall.

"How soon?" she asked.

"Maybe twenty minutes until we dock," he answered.

She leaned back into her chair again. She was getting restless. "What are we gonna do when we get there?"

"We'll dock, then go to the Presidential Palace, since Ellone insisted that we stay there." He rolled his eyes. "From there? I'm not sure. We could eat."

Rinoa nodded. "That sounds nice," she rubbed her stomach and thought of its extra room. She hadn't eaten since brunch, which for her was unheard of.

"Squall," she said after a moment of silence. She looked at him, though he did not look back. "If you need anything from me, anything at all, while we're here, please, let me know,"

He wanted to make a joke about that, but he stopped himself, knowing she was simply trying to help. Instead, he muttered, "thanks."

"Do you think I'll get any time to talk to Ellone?" Rinoa asked, absentmindedly picking at her nails.

Squall nodded. "I'm sure of it," he said. "Ellone mentioned that's she would require some of your time."

"Me?" Rinoa said, gesturing toward herself. She lifted her hand to her chin. "Hmm. I wonder what that could be about. I hope it's about Julia,"

"Probably," Squall shrugged. "What else would it be?"

"Have you ever thought of asking her about your parents?" Rinoa tilted her head.

Squall looked at her for a moment, then back toward the sky.  
"My parents?" he asked. He shook his head. "No, I'd never thought of it. I doubt she'd be able to help me, anyway. She never knew them."

Rinoa shrugged, looking back at the windshield. "I guess so," she agreed.

After Squall finished registering the Raganarok, Rinoa slung her bag over her shoulder. He approached her and nodded, and she sighed thankfully, happy to have arrived.

"Let's go," Squall said, and she nodded in reply.

They made their way toward the nearest transport area. When they reached it, they sat down patiently and Squall chose the Presidential Palace as their destination.

Rinoa had an eerie feeling from the past. She'd never seen Esthar when it wasn't in an utter state of chaos. She thought about how half the time she was here, she hadn't even been conscious. She thought of how Squall had gone through unfathomable lengths to bring her here, and she smiled.

Squall noticed her in deep thought as they moved through the tubing. He decided against saying anything, and remained within his own thoughts.

When they stopped, they exited the platform. They stopped in front of the Presidential Palace, and gazed at its massiveness.

"Wow," Rinoa breathed. "I forgot how big this place was."

"…Yeah," Squall agreed solemnly.

She looked at him and smiled encouragingly. "Ready to go in?"

"Let's get it over with," he answered.

The two entered the palace and continued down the hallway to reach the room where Laguna had briefed them on their mission. No one occupied the room, save for a blonde in a suit.

Her hair was a very light blonde, braided down her back. She was dressed professionally and had on fresh makeup. When she saw the couple, her eyes darted up and down, and she quickly ended her phone call. She smiled at the couple.

"Welcome to the residence," she said, lacing her fingers together in front of her.

"…Thanks," Squall replied blandly.

"We're here to see the President and Ellone," Rinoa said.

"Oh yes," the woman nodded. "You're the president's - you're the ones from Garden?"

The couple nodded.

She nodded in return. "We've been expecting you."

She handed them the packing envelope tucked under her arm. Squall took and analyzed the objects.

"Any information you need during your stay is in the envelope," she explained, "as well as your room keys. You'll have to use the ID cards to enter certain areas of the palace or city, but don't worry, you two have full-clearance."

Rinoa made a satisfied face. "Full-clearance" - it seemed so official, like they were very important people. "Full-clearance." Cool.

"If you need anything, or have any questions, you may reach the front desk at any time, day or night. The number is included in the envelope. Any other service you desire can be found in the directory. Anything you need during your stay will be provided to you, courtesy of the President. The residence is through that door," the receptionist pointed to the door on the wall behind her desk. "Enjoy your stay."

"Thank you very much," Rinoa said. Squall nodded.

He gave Rinoa her ID card, and they scanned them at a door that presumably led to the residence. The machine beeped, a red light turned green, and a computerized voice said "identity confirmed." They heard the door unlatch then it lifted up with a whir. They crossed the threshold and the door shut back down behind them.

Rinoa giggled as they made their way down the long hallway. "This is so cool," she said, looking back at the automatic door. "Everything's so colorful and scientific."

Squall rolled his eyes. "I call it flashy," he said.

"Whaaatever," Rinoa rolled her eyes this time. "Let me see that envelope," she said, grabbing it from his hand before he replied. She tore the opening off like it was a present. She reached her hand in and pulled out papers, books and pamphlets. Her eyes widened.

"Whoa," she breathed. "Check it out, Squall." She handed him one of the booklets. He accepted it and glanced at it half-heartedly. "That's the directory she was talking about," Rinoa said.

Squall scoffed as he flipped through it. "And where was this the last time I wandered around through this place aimlessly?"

Rinoa giggled, shaking her head. She read through a pamphlet she'd pulled open.  
"...Did you know that Esthar was the most recently developed country, but was the first to have a sophisticated political economy?"

"Yes," Squall answered.

"Mr. Know-it-all," Rinoa complained. She continued. "The first nation to officially develop international relations without warfare or mercenaries,"

"Just because they don't call them mercenaries doesn't mean they weren't," Squall noted. "They were soldiers from other countries that got paid. Estharian soldiers have killed plenty of people under Adel. This country is based on power, politics and technology - not international relations. To even claim that is laughable. They sealed themselves off for almost twenty years... What's with that?"

He shook his head. It was just another thing he didn't understand.

"Well, our own Laguna Loire was the one to implement many of these changes," Rinoa said. She smiled at him. "Maybe you could take up your views with him."

Squall almost scoffed again, but stopped himself. That guy? But he had to make an effort to at least seem professional and unbiased, despite his strange knowledge of Laguna's personal life.

"That might be interesting," he said.

Rinoa laughed again as she stuffed the documents back into the envelope. "This is so cool," she repeated. "We'll have to thank him for such hospitality."

Squall nodded, albeit spitefully. They wouldn't have to if they'd gotten their own lodging, but Ellone seemed determined to have them come to Esthar this way. As soon as he thought of her, she seemed to appear before him.

The couple stopped and Ellone approached with a smile and a wave. She stopped before them and clapped her hands together excitedly.

"Squall, Rinoa," she said, "I'm so glad you guys made it!"

"Hello, Ellone," Rinoa said with a big smile.

"Hey, Sis," Squall said, and Ellone embraced him tenderly.  
She moved to Rinoa and embraced her as well, not wanting to exclude her.

"Great timing - there's so much to do!" Ellone said.

"This is all… Very… Impressive, Sis," Squall said delicately. "I hope you didn't go to any trouble for us."

Ellone laughed, which made Squall and Rinoa look at one another relevantly.

"Of course not," Ellone said. She ceased her laughter, shaking her head.

"I apologize," she said. "I still forget how much we have left to discuss, Squall."

She seemed to ponder for a moment, unsure of how much to say. She smiled again. "You know, from the past, that Laguna is very much like my father," she placed her hand on her chest, showing her sincerity. "And being the President of the most technologically and socially advanced nation in the world can have its perks," she giggled, covering her mouth with her hand. "I forget sometimes how majestic it all is." She shook her head again. "But, I digress. Come, I'm sure you're ready to know why you're here."

Squall nodded, glad that someone was finally in his favor. Rinoa nodded as well, clutching her bag with a childlike excitement. Rinoa was rather used to a sense of royalty, but not of this caliber. She was genuinely excited, rather shamelessly.

They followed Ellone down a curved hallway, and Squall saw the President's personal office on his right, patrolled by two security guards on either side of the door. They continued passed the office and down a corridor. Ellone stopped in front of two large doors.

"Okay, your rooms," she said. "Use your room cards to get in and get settled." She looked at a watch on her wrist. "The dining room is down the corridor on your right. It's not hard to find. You should take some time to explore the rest of the residence," she clapped her hands together and nodded. "Dinner is in an hour," she lifted her hand. She gave them one more smile. "I'm going to let everyone know you've arrived - I'll see you there."

The couple nodded and Ellone trotted off back toward the office. Suddenly she turned and said,

"Squall, Rinoa,"

They looked in her direction.

"I'm so glad you came."

She turned again, and disappeared down the corridor. Squall removed his room card from his jacket pocket and Rinoa grabbed hers.

Rinoa observed the two large doors. "So, I guess I'll take the one on the right?"

"Sure," Squall shrugged.

He swiped the keycard to the door on the left and heard the door unlock.  
He pushed it open to find a large room and offset bath.

"Wow," Rinoa said as she poked her head in. "Check it out,"

She went in and ran her hand over a large mahogany dresser.

Squall observed the king-sized bed and what had to be at least twelve pillows.

"It has a soaking tub," Rinoa called from the bathroom.  
Squall turned. He hadn't even noticed her slip passed him.  
He went in and saw her in the empty tub.

She giggled. "Look," she said, stretching her arms and legs out. "You could sleep in this thing!"

Squall chuckled as he shook his head. "I'm glad you're pleased with the accommodations."

"If there's not one of these in my room, I want this one," Rinoa insisted, sounding more than a tad childish. She got out of the tub.

"Let's go see my room," she suggested. Squall nodded, amused by her enthusiasm.

She gasped. "Do you think they have a pool here?"


	9. Dinner with the President

An hour allowed them to freshen up, and as punctual as ever, Squall knocked on Rinoa's door and glanced at his watch. Rinoa opened it, and smiled at him happily.

"I'm ready," she assured him.

He nodded as he glanced at her outfit up and down. She had on a simple, but very nice black dress. _Very nice indeed._

"Was I supposed to dress up?" he asked, realizing he was still in his street clothes.

Rinoa laughed and shook her head. "No way. You look great. Let's go."

He wanted to roll his eyes at her indifference, but he decided to take the compliment. They took down the corridor, observing the entirety of their surroundings like true tourists.

"It's like a museum," Rinoa commented, gesturing toward the rows of paintings on the wall. They depicted historical scenes in a typical dramatic artistic fashion.

Squall felt distaste at observing Esthar's glorious history. He couldn't seem to find the source for his natural aversion toward the country, but he knew the feeling was embedded in him deeply. Naturally, he kept his thoughts to himself.

"There's the courtyard," Rinoa said, pointing to an area on the left. "It's nice to see some kind of foliage in this place." Squall nodded in agreement.

"That's the library," she pointed to her left. Squall felt like he was on a tour, though he allowed her to fulfill her navigational desires. "Dining room on the right." They stopped in front of the two large doors. "Ready to go in?"

He nodded and she pushed the doors open.

Inside was a large table with eight chairs. A large chandelier hung over the table and stained glass windows paned the walls.

Kiros and Ward stood at the end of the table talking and turned when they heard the doors open. Kiros smiled with bright white teeth and greeted them.

"Squall, Rinoa," he said.

The four approached one another and Kiros shook Squall's hand, then Rinoa's. Ward did the same.

"Welcome back to Esthar," Kiros said. "Glad you could make it back so soon. Have you seen your lodging?"

Squall nodded. "We have. It's very… Grand."

Kiros laughed, and Ward shook his head, smiling. "Esthar is a little much at first," Kiros admitted with a shrug. "But this is how the people here live. You get used to it. It's better than being a mercenary."

Squall ignored that comment, seeing as how he was a mercenary. But the guy was speaking from experience.

"Life's much more comfortable when things are… Political," Kiros explained.

"I'm sure," Squall offered.

Kiros nodded, and Ward placed his hand on Kiros's shoulder. He turned and looked at Ward, nodded, then turned back.

"Where are my manners? Ward gives his regards." He looked to Rinoa. "He thinks you look very much like Julia," Kiros said.

Ward scrunched his face at Kiros.  
Kiros shrugged and said, "What? It's not like I'm gonna tell her that," and Ward chuckled silently.

Rinoa looked at Squall, then turned back to Ward. "Thanks," she said. "I was very fond of her."

"We have plenty of stories involving Julia," Kiros said, "if you'd ever like to hear them. Laguna was quite close with her. And he loves to tell stories. Why, he'll go on and on, and on and on…"

"I'd really like that," Rinoa agreed. "Will we get to spend much time with him while we're here?"

Kiros and Ward laughed at her question. They recomposed themselves.

"Of course," Kiros said. "He's… Made special arrangements to receive you. Why, he'll be dining with us tonight." Kiros gestured toward the chairs. "Would you like to have a seat? We were going to have a drink while we waited for the President and Ellone."

The couple nodded and sat in the two closest chairs.

"Wine okay?"

"Fine," Squall answered. Rinoa nodded in agreement.

Kiros and Ward left the room, leaving the couple to themselves in silence.

Rinoa looked around the dining room, pleased with the continuing elegance of the palace.

"This is so cool," she said. "This must be the only place in Esthar with such artistic things."

"I would think so," Squall decided. He observed his surroundings as well. "It's certainly nicer than the Garden cafeteria."

Rinoa giggled. "See? This is like a vacation. You have to admit, you're a little intrigued."

Squall shrugged. "Maybe I am," he admitted.

When Kiros and Ward returned with the wine, Ellone and Laguna were following close behind them. Squall and Rinoa stood as they entered.

Ellone smiled at them. "I'm glad to see you found the place," she said. "Have you been waiting long?"

Squall shook his head. "No, we just arrived."

Laguna took his hand and shook it, attempting his best and least awkward smile.

"Hey, Squall," he said, "glad you could make it."

He shook Rinoa's hand as well. "Rinoa. You're quite the vision - just like Julia,"

Rinoa laughed. "It's good to see you too, Mr. Loire."

"Don't," Laguna lifted his hands. "I don't like to feel old. Call me Laguna."

She giggled again. "Okay."

Unlike his advisers, Laguna was dressed casually, with a button-up shirt and khakis. He looked around at everyone else, then at himself.

"Was I supposed to dress up?" he asked.

The others laughed, and Squall wondered if he'd sounded that dumb when he'd asked the same thing.

"No, Laguna," Ellone said. "Just sit." Ellone took the seat across from Squall.

Laguna gestured toward the table. "Of course. Please, sit, everyone."

The couple sat, and Kiros and Ward went to the table as well.

Laguna took the seat next to Ellone and folded his arms on the table.  
"So how are things at Garden?" he asked. "Quiet, I suspect."

Squall finished a sip of wine and placed the glass back down.  
"Yes," he confirmed. "There are classes, but the non-administrative SeeDs are getting restless with nothing to do. They're sitting on their hands until the peace treaty goes through."

Laguna nodded. "I think everyone is laying low. It's best for the time being. If your men are restless, there's always work here in Esthar. Civilian work, of course. But we could use the help - especially after the Lunar Cry incident!"

Squall nodded. "I'll pass the word around."

A chef entered the room with a tray and placed a plate in front of each person. He bowed after he finished and departed silently.

Rinoa looked down at her plate excitedly. It was some foreign-looking but good-smelling dish she was dying to try. Everyone began to eat and Ellone commented on how much she liked Rinoa's dress.

When the conversation quieted, Laguna continued. "Garden pleasantries, work. What else is there? Ah, the Raganarok. I'm excited about utilizing it for a project we're doing. Esthar is going to expand into the Centra continent."

Kiros and Ellone rolled their eyes. "Again with the Centra talk," Kiros sighed. "It's all Laguna cares about these days."

Laguna furrowed his brow. "Hey - it's super-cool! I don't know why you guys aren't into it," he shrugged. He turned back to Squall and smiled.

"Anyway," he continued, "it's finally come out of the planning stage and has been put into motion. I was hoping to use the Ragnarok as a transport ship. Obviously we'll have a lot of cargo to bring out there, and the Ragnarok is as strong and as big as any."

Squall nodded. "We'll be leaving it here for you when we return to Garden. You can do with it what you will. We appreciate you letting us use it this long."

Rinoa nodded in agreement, chewing her food happily.

Laguna shook his head and his hand. "It's nothing. However, I don't have anyone who knows how to operate the ship, and I certainly don't have many than I can trust with such an important job."

Squall shrugged. "It's a large, tech-savvy country - there has to be at least one person who can maneuver the ship,"

Laguna crossed his arms. "True," he agreed. "But there is still the issue of trust."

"Why not Kiros, or Ward?" Squall suggested. Laguna laughed.

"Not us," Kiros said seriously. "Don't give this man one more thing for us to do,"

Ellone laughed, and Squall shrugged. "Sorry," he said.

"I've already begged them both, actually," Laguna admitted. "But, Kiros is right. I need them here. Doing… Whatever it is they do," he watched as Kiros and Ward rolled their eyes.

He turned back to Squall. He laced his fingers together and leaned on the table.  
"I want you to do it," he said.

Rinoa and Squall looked at one another, Rinoa swallowing the bit of food in her mouth.  
Squall looked back at Laguna, unsure of what to say.

"…What?" he asked, unable to think of anything else.

Laguna nodded. "I want you to do it," he repeated, a little more seriously this time. "I want Garden to keep the Ragnarok. I think you will have more of a use for it. But," he said, holding up his finger, "I could certainly use it for this project. So, in exchange for the ship, you transport my goods between Esthar and Centra. How does that sound?"

"Squall," Ellone interjected, "this is a really important project."

Laguna turned to her excitedly. "You think so, Elle?"

Ellone rolled her eyes. "Yes. It's a very important project, Laguna."  
She turned back to Squall. "We're creating the future right now,"

Laguna nodded. "Yes," he agreed. "The future! Of… Science, technology, and exploration!"

"Okay, okay," Ellone said, placing her hand on Laguna's arm. "Yes. It's all very inspiring and whimsical." She turned back to Squall seriously. "It's also very dangerous, and expensive."

"Pioneers don't care about danger or money, Elle," Laguna said.

Ellone furrowed her brow. "Uncle," she pressed, "may I speak with Squall about it, please?"

Laguna scratched the back of his head nervously. "Sorry," he said.

Ellone nodded, turning again to Squall. "If this is going to work, the cargo will have to arrive, and it will have to arrive on schedule. It could end up being a life-or-death situation if it doesn't. This is where the matter of trust comes in to play. It's a very important job, and I hope that you could take the time to find a crew and make it happen," she shook her head. "There's still so much to do," she sighed. "We could really use the help."

"What do you say, Squall?" Laguna asked.

Everyone else looked at him expectantly.

Squall thought for a moment, his fingers resting on his chin. It sounded like an important job. Though having the Ragnarok exclusive to Garden was quite the perk, he wondered if another commitment was really what he needed at the moment. He immediately sought to refuse, but he saw the hopeful look on Ellone's face and frowned.

"I'll have to think about it," he settled for.

The others said nothing, and Ellone frowned this time.

"But," Squall continued, "I think it will be possible. I'll have to get a crew together, but I think we can arrange it."

Ellone smiled and nodded happily. "Great," she said, "I'm so glad to hear that. You're the perfect person for the job."

Squall wanted to roll his eyes, but refrained.

Laguna nodded as well. "Yes," he agreed, "this is great news. We'll get started on it first thing in the morning. That's enough business, for now. I usually don't allow business talk at the table."

Kiros and Ward laughed, and Laguna eyed them in warning.

"Sorry, Laguna," Kiros said between laughs. "It's just too much… You 'talking business.'" He and Ward burst out laughing again, Ward's laugh being a kind of huffing noise.

"You advisers are supposed to make me look good," Laguna complained, crossing his arms.

They all finished their plates, making a comment here and there about the food.  
When they were done, a maid came in and took the empty plates away, curtsying with the full tray in her hand before she left.

"I think that meal was especially good," Laguna said.

Ellone decided to change the subject. "Tell us how everyone at Garden is, Squall."

Squall nodded in acknowledgement. "Everyone's good," he said. "They're vacationing in Dollet."

"Cliff-diving," Rinoa added.

Ward cringed a bit, and Kiros laughed. "We've got some experience with that," he said.

Ellone shook her head, again. "How's Quisty? Still teaching?"

"That," Rinoa interjected, "and reconnecting with Seifer."

"Seifer?" Ellone repeated. She laughed. "Those two are trouble,"

Squall narrowed his eyes.  
 _Quistis… And Seifer?_  
She'd always had her focus on Seifer as an instructor, but Squall had never considered it more than that. Squall always assumed it was him she wanted, not the rivaling gunblade artist.

"You must be quite troubled by that, Squall," Ellone said.

Squall said nothing, still lost in his own musings.

"Who's Seifer?" Laguna asked.

"The blond boy, Edea's pawn," Kiros clarified.

"Oh," Laguna said. "Right."  
He turned to Ellone, then to Squall. "But, he's okay now, right? So why is that troubling?"

"Seifer was in the orphanage with us, Uncle," Ellone explained. "He and Squall… Never got along very well."

"At all," Squall specified.

Rinoa giggled, and Squall eyed her, displeased. She ceased her laughter and cleared her throat awkwardly.

Squall continued. "Seifer has always been trouble, and he only reaffirmed it by assisting Edea."

"So… We don't want Quistis reconnecting with him?" Laguna asked.

"We don't," Squall confirmed.

"Squall doesn't," Rinoa said, and she felt the cold blue eyes on her again. She didn't look back at him.

"But, I actually think it's great."

Squall took a large sip of wine. Rinoa's soft spot for Seifer irked him to no end.

Laguna looked very interested. "I see," he said. "What a conundrum!"

Ellone laughed. "I think it's great, too."

Squall turned to her. "Sis?" he said, betrayed.

Ellone waved her hand dismissively. She had little interest in taking sides. "They were always very good friends. I knew they'd get together some day."

"Oh, so it's a romantic thing?" Laguna asked.

Squall scoffed this time, forgoing his usual politeness.

"Is it?" Ellone asked.

"I think so," Rinoa smiled mischievously.

"Even more predictable," Ellone said. "Don't worry about it, Squall. It will be fine. Quistis can take care of herself. Though, it's sweet that you're concerned."

"I think so too," Rinoa agreed.

Squall rolled his eyes. "Okay, okay," he said, throwing his hands up in defeat.

"And someone needs to look out for Seifer. He's a good boy. He just needs… Direction, I suppose," Ellone thought out loud.

"That's what I said," Rinoa agreed.

 _What is this?_ Squall thought. _'Hooray for misunderstood Seifer' month?_ He finished the last of his wine.

"You know Seifer well, Rinoa?" Ellone asked.

Rinoa scratched her head, now regretting she'd gotten so involved in the conversation.

"We met a few summers ago," she explained. "He's the one who introduced me to Garden. I had some work I needed help with, and he made it happen. I'm very grateful to him," she looked over at Squall tenderly, remembering how they met.

Squall looked away defensively, not responding in the way she'd hoped.

"Small world," Laguna said, leaning back in his chair. "Anyone need a refill on wine?" He lifted the bottle in his hand.

"Yes," Squall accepted, maybe a little quickly. He held out his glass and Laguna refilled it. Squall took another sip.

Everyone else shook their heads at the offer, and Laguna refilled his own glass.

"So Quistis and Seifer are doing well," Ellone decided. "How about the others?"

Rinoa thought for a moment. "Zell's dating a new girl right now."

"Dating, a girl?" Ellone asked in disbelief.

Rinoa laughed. "Yes. It's… Interesting. Selphie and Irvine are good. She'll be returning to Trabia soon. And Irvine?" She turned to Squall, then back to Ellone. "I'm not sure what he's going to do."

"It must be a strange time for you all, so many transitions, and being with one another again," Ellone sympathized. She looked over at her little brother. "Right, Squall?"

Squall shrugged. "I guess," he said.

"You guess?" Ellone laughed. "Tough-as-nails Squall, huh?"

He resented that comment. Getting shit constantly from people around him about his hardened exterior got old. And coming from Ellone, well… He had to ask himself if she wasn't one of the reasons why he was generally insensitive in the first place. He decided to leave that alone, and crossed his arms.

"Sorry," Ellone apologized quietly, blushing a bit. She'd understood instantly how that made him feel. But she wouldn't address it.

"Anyway," she said, "it's been a very long day. I'm sure you two need your rest."

Squall nodded. Though he wasn't the least bit tired, he had no problem pretending he was.

"You guys head back to your rooms," she suggested. "We'll clean up here."

Squall nodded and he stood, Rinoa joining him by his side.

"Meet us back here in the morning if you'd like to eat breakfast with us. If not, you can always eat elsewhere," Ellone suggested.

Laguna nodded. "I've informed everyone of who you are, so feel free to have and do whatever you feel."

"It's very generous of you," Rinoa said, and Squall nodded in agreement, glad that he didn't have to be the one to thank him - repetitively.

Laguna waved his hand. "It's nothing, really. Please, enjoy yourselves."

The couple nodded and the rest of the group wished them a good night as they left.

When they were out of hearing range, Laguna let out a long breath, as if he'd been holding it the whole time.

"That wasn't so hard," Kiros offered. Ward nodded.

"Of course it wasn't," Ellone said. "Squall is no trouble."

"Yeah, well, it may not have been hard now. But it will be tomorrow," Laguna groaned.

"Have you decided what to tell him?" Kiros asked.

Laguna shook his head. "Of course not," he said. "I wrote down about fifteen essays explaining myself, and they were all terrible. So, I threw them away, and I'm starting from scratch."

Kiros rolled his eyes. "Sounds like a writer," he said.

"Uncle," Ellone said tenderly, placing her hand on his arm. "It will be all right. There's nothing to be afraid of. Squall is smart - he'll know what to do."

"Chip off the 'ole block," Kiros said. "His mother, that is," he clarified.

Ellone laughed. "Did you see him drink that wine? That reminded me of someone else, entirely."

The others laughed, but Laguna shook his head. He wasn't amused.

"I'm not sure what to do," he said. "He's just… So unlike me. We have nothing in common. How can I relate to him?"

"I think you have plenty in common," Kiros laughed.

Laguna didn't respond, just stared at the glass of wine in front of him.

Ellone frowned at Kiros, and he composed himself.

"Sorry, Laguna," Kiros said. "I know this isn't a joking matter."

"It just didn't really hit me until I saw him again. When I first found out, I was a bit in disbelief. But… I've come to terms with it, and now I'm not sure what to do," he confessed.

"It will be okay, Laguna," Ellone repeated. "He's a wonderful person - you should be proud."

"In a way, I am," Laguna said, then laughed. "I know his mother would be. She would've…"

They all grew silent at hearing her mentioned. Ellone sighed softly.

Laguna looked back up and smiled. "He really is just like her, huh?"

"He really is," Kiros affirmed.

"So, we should get along just fine… Right?" Laguna asked.

Kiros shrugged. "About as well as you and she got along," he offered.

Laguna sighed. _That's a good thing… Right?_

* * *

Back in front of the rooms, Rinoa and Squall faced one another.

"Wanna see my room again?" Squall asked, and Rinoa laughed at his unusual casualness.

"Is that all I'll be seeing?" she teased.

He shrugged. "Depends on you, I would think."

She laughed again. "My, you have been drinkin', sweetheart."

"That I have," he agreed. "So, you wanna come in?"

"As long as you promise not to take advantage of me," she said, putting her finger to her lip innocently.

"How can I promise that, when you ask me like that?" he said, placing his hand on his waist.

"Squall!" Rinoa said, blushing. She giggled. "You know, I kind of enjoy a less refined you."

"Great. You coming in or what?" he asked impatiently.

"Well when you say it like that," she laughed, "how could I refuse?"

* * *

The next morning, they shared a hearty breakfast, and stood with their gear in front of the inn.

Quistis lifted her hands. "Who's got the rental info?"

Irvine pulled a small envelope from his coat pocket and held it up between his half-gloved fingers.

Quistis nodded in approval. "Okay. So, we'll take the four-wheelers up to the cliff's edge and park. Then our hike begins. The cliff is a steep climb, so we don't want to exhaust ourselves. Once we climb up about 10 meters, we'll have about a ten kilometer hike until we reach a safe diving distance. We don't want to smack into the city, or anything." She grinned at this, and Zell rolled his eyes.

"Come on," he complained, "10k hike? That wasn't a part of the plan!"

"Yes, and neither was..." she read over her list carefully, "'climbing up to the very top of the cliff, so we can camp and dive from there.'" She looked at him critically as she read his words. "That thing is over 25 meters high! We would die."

"Cool!" Selphie cheered.

"Not cool," Quistis corrected.

Irvine shrugged. "It's kind of cool,"

"See, Quistis?" Zell whined.

She held her hand up, dismissing the rest of the group. "Let's get moving."

"Let's do it!" Zell said, and he ran towards the four-wheelers.

"Zell!" Quistis shouted. "We shouldn't get separated-" but he was already far out of hearing range. She sighed. "Didn't I say something about exhaustion?"

Selphie giggled. "Nothing exhausts that guy."

The girls laughed, and the three of them slowly trailed after the martial artist.

When they found a clearing on the cliff about a kilometer passed the 10k mark, Zell dropped his pack and it landed with a loud thud, making the other three jump.

"This is good," he stated. He unzipped his bag and dug into it, pulling out a small hand ax. "Time to chop up some wood, maybe some monsters."

"Ugh, Zell," Selphie groaned at his comment.

The three looked to one another and silently agreed that this location was fine to set up camp. They dropped their bags and began to unpack.

"All right ladies," he emphasized the word for Irvine, "have fun setting up camp." Zell pointed to himself. "This guy's gonna go bring back dinner."

Quistis rolled her eyes. "Don't hurt yourself," she said as she pulled out the tent bag.

"Tch, please," Zell rolled his eyes. "Men have been hunting since the beginning of time. This will be a piece of cake."

"You've never been in the outdoors before, have you, Zell?" Irvine asked.

"What!" Zell exclaimed. "Of course I have. I am fully trained in outdoor survival skills, thank you very much."

"Okay... But have you been hunting before? Or even applied those survival skills?" Irvine raised his palm.

Zell thought about this for a moment, and made a face. "Well, I hunted once, with my grandpa..."

"You know what," Irvine said, pulling a small cooler from his bag. "As much fun as it would be to let you suffer... I feel guilty not letting you know that we brought food." The girls nodded in agreement.

"Puh-lease," Zell groaned. "Why would you eat that stuff, when you could have fresh meat?"

"Zell, the only thing you're gonna find around here are anacondours and geezards." Selphie nagged, her hand on her hip. "Do you really want to eat that?"

"I happen to think grilled anacondour meat is delightful," Zell eyed her back.

"Yeah, but they're a bitch to cut up and prepare," Irvine mentioned.

"Listen to Irvine," Quistis groaned, still busy with her bag.  
How does he know that, anyway...

Zell huffed. "You know what? You naysayers can just stay here. I'm goin'." He leaned the ax on his shoulder and headed back down the trail.

"At least come back with wood," Irvine called, rolling his eyes.

After Zell was out of earshot, Selphie sighed. "You should probably get the wood, Irvine."

"Yeah," he shrugged. "I figured as much. You guys know how to set everything up?"

Selphie rolled her eyes, her arms crossed over her chest. "Of course we do. We're SeeDs - we can put together a tent."

Irvine held his hands up in defense. "Just checkin," he said. He grabbed his own hand axe and took to the trail opposite of Zell.

Quistis began pulling the rods and tarp from the tent bag. Selphie eyed the materials. "What are those things for?" she asked, pointing to an assortment of clips by the bag.

"...I have no idea," Quistis replied.

* * *

The next morning, Squall's eyelids felt heavier than normal. He forced them open and observed a still-sleeping Rinoa at his side.  
She was turned away, and he was thankful for that as he noticed she had on less clothing than usual. As in, her back was completely exposed. He also couldn't help but noticed her bare legs poking out from the sheets. He turned back to the ceiling and smiled, amused. He'd have to remind himself to not let alcohol influence his actions too much, though he was pleased at the memories of the nights before. It had been something else to see her like that, and something that he would not soon forget. He resisted the urge to initiate a reenactment and sat up.

He rubbed his eyes sleepily and decided a cold shower would probably be the best idea. Before he could reach the bathroom, the phone on the bedside table began to beep and a light on the receiver flashed. He picked up the receiver and held it to his ear.

"Hello?" He listened for a moment. He looked at Rinoa, then back. "Okay," he said after a while. "I'll be there."

When Rinoa awoke, she automatically pulled the sheets up to cover herself from the cold. She heard the sound of water hitting the ground and she smiled. She sighed, wishing he had been there when she awoke, but she hadn't expected him to be as enthusiastic as he was the night before.  
She blushed, thinking of the kissing and the touching. It had been something else, and it was a side of him she was all the more interested in exploring.

She pushed the sheets off of her and sat up. She found her clothes from the night before on the ground. Her other clothes were still in her room. She pulled the dress over her head and gathered the rest in her hands. She left his room, closing the door behind her quietly.  
She pulled the key card from her evening bag and used it to get into her room. She dropped the clothes beside her and pulled the dress back off, making her way into the bathroom for a shower of her own.

She closed her eyes and relaxed as the warm water covered her body. She sighed and ran her hands through her hair.

"Hey," she heard, and she jumped. She pulled the curtain aside to see Squall poking his head through the doorway.

"Squall," she breathed. "You scared the shit out of me!" She sighed. "How did you get in, anyway?"

He held up the key card. "Card works on both rooms,"

"Ah," she said, suddenly covering herself more with the curtain. "How convenient," she rolled her eyes. He smiled. "What are you doing here? Haven't you seen me naked enough for one day?"

He laughed. "That's debatable," he said.

She tossed the bar of soap at him and he dodged it in the knick of time. It hit the frame of the door and bounced to the floor. He laughed again, and held his hands up.

"I'm here to tell you that I'm meeting with Laguna for breakfast. He wants to see me privately - probably to discuss this Centra project. Are you okay with having breakfast with the others?"

Rinoa shrugged. "Sure, I don't see why not."

Squall nodded. "Okay."

"You aren't going to be too long, are you?" she asked sweetly.

"I sure hope not," he said, a little less sweetly. "I'll see you soon." He turned to leave.

"Squall?" she asked. He turned back around. "…Could I have that soap back? Please?"

He laughed and picked the soap off the ground. He threw it hard in her direction and she barely dodged it. That made him laugh, too. He closed the door behind him.

Rinoa rolled her eyes, resuming her shower. Maybe she'd spent some alone time with Ellone. That was something to look forward to.


	10. Origins

"I can't believe I'm actually going to do this," Selphie said nervously as she peered over the cliff's edge.

"What! C'mon, Selph, you were all excited to go!" Zell said. "You were the one who decided on cliff diving!"

"I know that!" she shouted back, turning to face him with her fists at her sides. She looked back over the cliff. "I'm just sayin'... That I can't believe I'm actually doing it..." Her voice trailed off.

"Well, I'm all warmed up," Quistis said, finishing the last of her stretch routine. "Who's goin' first?" She raised her brow, her hands on her hips.

"Selphie," Zell suggested calmly.

"Wait, what?" Selphie turned. "Zell!"

Quistis rolled her eyes. "I guess what I should have said is," she took off in a sprint toward the edge of the cliff, "who's comin' in after me?"

They heard her voice fall as she jumped off the edge in a perfect diving formation. The three blinked and looked over the edge as she hit the water and disappeared.

"Whoa," Zell breathed.

They watched as she came back up to the surface. She looked up at her spectators and laughed.

"What's the hold-up?"

"Quistis is badass," Zell nodded to himself.

Selphie rolled her eyes. "Well, then go ahead Zell - aren't you a badass?"

"Sure am," he said.

He clenched his fists at his sides, took a deep breath, and ran off the cliff's edge.

Selphie and Irvine peered over the edge and listened as Zell screamed the entire way down. His body hit the water with a loud splash.

"Wow," Irvine laughed.

"How can they just run off a cliff like that? Are they crazy?" Selphie asked.

"Definitely," he laughed. "It's kind of freakin' me out, too - I don't do so well under intense pressure,"

"But if all your friends jumped off a cliff, would you do it, too?" she grinned.

"Yeah," he nodded. "Would you?"

"Definitely," she laughed.

They peered over the edge one more time and watched Quitis and Zell flapping around happily. It was all going just... Swimmingly.

"Well... I guess we'll go, too," she gulped.

"On three," he said.

"Okay. One, two," she began

"Wait," he said. "Are you going to say one, two, three, go, or just-"

"Go!" she shouted, and the two ran and leapt off the cliff's edge, screaming all the way to the bottom.

* * *

Squall thought it was pretty weird that Laguna would want to eat in his office, but he wasn't one to question it.

He knocked on the door and heard Laguna's voice call "come in." He pushed the doors open and entered the office. He looked around, remembering the large windows and strange décor.

"Hey, Squall," Laguna said. "Have a seat," he motioned toward two armchairs along the wall.

Squall sat, feeling like he was somehow in trouble, and Laguna went to the other side of the room.

"Coffee?" he offered.

"Please," Squall accepted.

Laguna placed two empty cups on a nearby coffee table and filled them. He returned the pot, then brought over a bowl filled with biscuits. "You hungry?"

Squall took a biscuit from the basket and placed it by his coffee. He took a long sip from his cup and placed it back down. "So," he said, "tell me more about the Centra project."

Laguna seemed to choke a bit on the coffee he was sipping. He placed the cup down.

"Yes, the colonization," he said. "I'm really interested in telling you all about it. However, that's not why I asked you here."

Squall raised a brow. He thought the Centra project had explained the reason for his trip.

 _What else is there?_

"On the Ragnarok, when I asked you to come talk to me after everything was over," Laguna began, "it was actually for personal reasons, not business."

"...Personal reasons?" Squall repeated.

Laguna nodded. "There's something that I've… Recently learned... That I felt you should know..." He felt a cramping sensation crawl up his leg.

Squall blinked, taking another sip from his coffee. He placed the mug back down. "...Okay," he said hesitantly. "...What is it?"

"It's about… Your parents," Laguna said, scratching the back of his head nervously.

"My parents?" Squall repeated.

 _...That's a surprise._

His origin was one that he thought of every now and then, but he'd spent his entire life determined to be on his own, and had somehow forgotten about it over time. He hadn't given much thought about his "parents" in years.

"Yes," Laguna said. "You see, Ellone… Has shown me the past - your past."

"My past?" Squall thought about this. "...So, you're saying she knew my parents?"

Laguna cleared his throat.  
 _This is much harder than I anticipated, and I thought it would be ridiculously hard.  
_ "Yes," he said. "In fact, she knew them very well..."

Squall looked down at his hands. "…Why hasn't Ellone told me this?"

Laguna looked Squall squarely in the eye and looked as serious as he could manage.  
"Ellone has never told you because… She felt that it was my responsibility... She wanted me to tell you."

Squall looked up at Laguna. "…You?"

Laguna nodded. "I'm not sure how else to say it, so I just will," he sighed. "...You're my son, Squall..."

* * *

Rinoa found Ellone sitting in the courtyard. It was a pleasant and peaceful place. There were tall bushes, flowers, and a small fountain in the middle. Ellone was on a stone bench reading a book.

Rinoa approached her. "Hey, Ellone,"

Ellone looked up from her book and smiled. "Hey, Rinoa," she replied. "Did you guys sleep all right?"

Rinoa nodded. "Oh, sure," she said, a small smile slivering across her face. "The rooms are really nice. This whole place…"

"It reminds me of a morbid fairy tale," Ellone said, placing her finger to her lips contemplatively.

Rinoa laughed. "That sounds like something Squall would say."

Ellone laughed too. "He takes after me, I guess. I practically raised him."

"Really?" Rinoa said as she sat on the bench next to her. "I didn't know that."

Ellone nodded. "I've been taking care of Squall since he was born. He and I went to the orphanage together when we were very young. I think of him as a brother, more so than I did with the other children, because of that. I'm very close with his parents. They were like my own."

"His parents?" Rinoa asked.  
She thought of her conversation with Squall in the Ragnarok. She remembered him saying that Ellone probably wouldn't have known his parents.  
Now, it seemed quite the opposite.

"Wow," Rinoa said. "Squall… Doesn't know any of this," she noted.

"For now," Ellone confessed. She blinked. "Where is he?"

"He's with Laguna in his office," Rinoa said.

"I see," Ellone said. She closed the book in her lap and put it aside. "He will know soon. Don't worry." She placed her hands in her lap, and looked at Rinoa in earnest. "Rinoa, you know I have a certain ability that enables me to experience the past."

Rinoa nodded. "I do," she said, wondering what Ellone was getting at.

"I am able to share this experience with others, as you know. I think it's very important that I share some things with you. I know you're interested in seeing your mother."

"Yeah," Rinoa said, "I think it would be nice to see her. If it's not too much trouble..."

Ellone nodded. "My memories of her are a bit limited… Mostly through Laguna's experiences. But I can use your memories as well."

"Wow," Rinoa blinked. "That's amazing."

"It's impressive, yes," Ellone said softly. "It is also quite the burden." She shook her head. "I'd be happy to share them with you. However, there is something else I would like you to see first."

"What is it?" Rinoa asked, curious.

"I want you to see Squall's past. There are things you need to know that could take quite a while to explain." Ellone held out her hand. "Will you do it?"

Rinoa nodded. "Sure," she said. "What do I do?"

"Just close your eyes," Ellone said. "The sensation… Can sometimes feel like a headache, at first. So don't get nervous if it's a little uncomfortable. If I hold your hand or touch your arm, the connection will be stronger."

Rinoa took Ellone's hand, then closed her eyes. "Okay. I'm ready."

Ellone closed her own eyes, and breathed in deeply. She would start from the very beginning.

Rinoa felt like her brain was tingling, if it could do such a thing. She felt a pain behind her eyes, but she relaxed, trying to ignore it. She breathed in deep, and when she exhaled, her eyes opened.

* * *

~ Her eyes weren't really open, but she could see. She saw her mother in a hotel room, sitting on a bed. Rinoa gasped at the sudden sight of her. She'd thought she'd be witnessing Squall's past, but there her mother was. This Julia was young, but not much younger than Rinoa could remember. Rinoa also saw the back of a Galbadian soldier in uniform. He turned, and Rinoa saw clearly that it was Laguna.

"I understand," Julia said. "Many men are going off to war now."

Laguna nodded. "Not much I can do about it," he said, shrugging. "But… I wish I didn't have to."

Julia smiled at him tenderly and told him of her song, how he inspired her, and how it was enough to get her through what may come. Rinoa watched with surprise, her eyes wide, if she really _was_ watching through her eyes. She watched as they said their goodbyes, and as Julia sat back on the hotel bed, alone. In Rinoa's mind was a thought, but it wasn't her own.

 _I wonder if I'll ever see him again._

She felt the sadness, the emptiness that Julia felt, then felt her own. Rinoa knew that she wouldn't.

The scene changed, and she watched as a battered Laguna was carried into a house.

He opened his eyes. He was on a bed. He couldn't move his limbs. A woman with long brown hair hair and steel blue eyes stood over him.

"What?" Laguna asked. "Where…"

"You went and got yourself into quite the mess," the woman said, crossing her arms and looking at him unfavorably. "We had to carry you all the way here."

"Hi!" Ellone screeched, and Laguna winced.

"Hello," he croaked.

The small girl crawled up so she was on the edge of the bed. "My name's Ellone. You have silly armor on."

Laguna let out a chuckle. "It is silly, isn't it?"

"Yep," Ellone nodded.

"Enough, Ellone," Raine commanded. She turned back to the stranger before her. "Now, you wanna tell me what a Galbadian soldier is doing all the way out here?"

Laguna groaned and turned back to Ellone. "There's a scary lady here, Ellone," he said.

Ellone laughed, and shook her head. "That's Raine," she said. "She's a nice lady. She takes care of me. Now, she's gonna take care'a you!"

"Uh oh…" Laguna groaned, and Ellone giggled.

The house in Winhill disappeared, and Rinoa found herself in a field. It was dark, and Laguna was beginning his journey late, as to make a quiet exit. She could feel his remorse and anticipation.

"Hey," Raine called from behind him.

He stopped and turned to her. "Hey," he said, scratching the back of his head.

"…You're going… Now?" she asked, her voice soft. _You weren't going to say goodbye...?_

"I have to," he said. Rinoa knew it had to do with Ellone, though she wasn't sure why. Laguna turned to leave, but Raine's voice stopped him.

Raine nodded slowly, her eyes sad. "Please, be careful. I can't bear the thought of you two…"

Laguna turned back and shook his head. "Don't say that," he commanded. "I'll come back. I'll come back with Ellone, and we'll be a family again."

"Laguna..." she said, her eyes beginning to fill with tears.

"Raine," he said.

He took her hand into his and slipped a ring onto her finger. Her eyes widened.

"I'll come back, for you. I promise." He showed her the ring on his own finger, and she nodded happily.

"Please, find her," she whispered.

They embraced, and Laguna left quickly. Raine stood there alone, and she wondered the same thing Julia had not long ago.

The scene changed again. Raine was now sitting by a window. She watched as her neighbors scattered around town under umbrellas with their daily routines. She watched the rain slide down the window gently, and thought of how it ironically reflected her mood. She thought of how she was supposed to open the bar in a few hours. She placed her hand over her belly and ran it over the small bump. Sooner or later, people were going to know. She would have to tell them. She looked down at the ground sadly, realizing that she hadn't told a single soul yet.

She wept softly, thinking of Ellone and missing her. She hoped she was safe. She thought of Laguna, and wondered how many more months would go by before he returned, if he did. She thought of the child inside her, and hoped every day that he wouldn't have to live without a father.

She wiped the tears from her eyes and stood. She had no time for feeling sorry for herself. The townspeople would eventually understand. She'd have support. That was what living in Winhill was all about – the people took care of their own. She put on fresh makeup and a fresh face – and once again she was the powerful and enduring Raine.

Then Rinoa was in the bar. There were caretakers. A dozen women mingled around the bar. They were buzzing with excitement. The baby was due soon. The women exchanged clothing they'd knitted for the newborn. They laughed and Raine sat back quietly, her own conflicts internal. But she couldn't deny she was a little excited. There was a knock at the door, and Raine stood. She opened the door, and gasped.

On the other side was Ellone, waving, and holding the hand of a man Raine didn't recognize.

"Ellone," Raine breathed, with what breath she had. She bent down and embraced her, squeezing her tight. "Ellone, it's you," she was in disbelief. "You're safe,"

"Hi, Raine," Ellone said, as if she'd only been gone a few hours. Her height and looks told a different story. Her small eyes blinked, and she pointed to Raine's belly. "You got a baby inside you?"

Rain laughed and stood back up. She addressed the man, clearly a representative of Esthar. "Esthar?" she asked.

The man nodded, showing her a badge with Esthar's seal to identify himself. "Yes ma'am. I was ordered to bring the child to you."

"Does this mean I'll have a baby sister?" Ellone asked Raine.

Raine ignored Ellone, more interested in what this stranger had to say. She suddenly assumed the worst. "...By whom?" Raine remained firm with the man, her hand on her hip.

"President Laguna Loire," he said.

Inwardly, she sighed with relief. _He's alive..._ _But, what did he just say?!_

"Presi- what? Who?" she rambled.

"Is Uncle Laguna gonna be a daddy?" Ellone asked.

The man shrugged. "Presid-"

"I heard what you said," she said, holding her hand up.

"I was also instructed," he began, pulling an envelope from his jacket, "to give you this."

He handed her the envelope. She took it and eyed it suspiciously.

"Enclosed is a letter from the president himself," he said proudly.

Raine almost laughed out loud, but refrained. "Thank you, I guess..."

"He assured me that you would know what to do with the girl," he said, looking at Ellone.

Raine rolled her eyes. "Yeah, I think I've got it,"

"Is there anything, ma'am, anything at all I can do to assist you while I am here?" he offered. He eyed her bulging belly for a moment and cleared his throat. "Is there anything you would like for me to tell him..?"

Raine thought for a moment, then sighed. "Anything I have to say to Laguna Loire I can say myself."

The messenger swallowed nervously. "Yes, ma'am."

She huffed. "So, you bring me a kid, and a letter from my _fiance_ who I haven't seen in almost a year, and that's that?"

"…What's that?" he asked, confused. Obviously he had not been informed of the President's relationship to this woman.

"Tell me how to get in touch with the president," she said, her voice cold. "Directly."

"His mailing address is in the letter," the man said. "Unless you go to a nearby town with a telecom, then you could reach his-"

"Fine, thank you," she said, and she slammed the door in his face.

The women spectators all remained silent, and Ellone looked around in confusion. "Are you guys having a party? Is there cake?"

Rained breathed out, then turned back to Ellone. She bent down again and smiled. "Yes, honey, we're having a party for the baby."

"Cool!" Ellone cheered. "Cake?"

"You can have all the cake you want, baby," Raine told her.

Ellone grinned and hugged Raine. "I'm so glad I got to come home! I hate Esthar."

"Ellone honey," Raine said, breaking eye contact for a moment to glare at the spectators. The women cringed at her glance and returned to their own conversations. Raine looked back at Ellone. "Where is he? Where's Uncle Laguna?"

"In Esthar," the small girl said. She pointed to the right. "That way."

Raine nodded, smiling at her comment. "What did he say, Ellone? Is he coming home, too?"

Ellone scratched her head. "He can't," she said. "We have to go there. Or he'll come here after. 'It's in the letter, Ellone,'" she mimicked Laguna. "I said I was listening." She nodded to herself proudly.

 _Go to Esthar?_ Raine scoffed. _Over my dead body! What is that ridiculous man up to this time?_ She tried to restrain herself in front of Ellone.  
"Did he say anything else?" Raine asked calmly.

"Umm," Ellone put her finger to her lips as she thought. She smiled as she realized. "Oh yeah. He said he loves you,"

Raine couldn't help but laugh. She was so happy to see Ellone, and to at least hear from Laguna, that she couldn't help but be joyful. She embraced Ellone once more and smiled.

"I'm so happy to see you, baby," she said. She released her and wiped the tear trailing down her cheek. "So," she said, forcing a smile. "You want a baby sister, huh?"

Ellone nodded. "I can dress her up," she said, and Raine laughed.

"I'd like to see that," she said.

Rinoa had forgotten her own consciousness for a while. She had been so enveloped in the experience. All of the pieces began to come together, and she suddenly realized what it all meant, what Ellone had meant when she said she knew him as a baby. Laguna, Ellone, Squall – suddenly she understood.

Rinoa's thoughts left her as she felt the overwhelming fear coming from a small child. Ellone could see the life was leaving her.

"Raine," she cried. "What's the matter? What's… What's going to happen?"

Raine took Ellone's hand in hers, her arm heavy. She smiled weakly. "Everything's going to be okay, Ellone - don't worry about me."

"But… They said you were sick," the small girl whispered.

"It's all right," Raine said. "Did you get a sister?" she asked, hoping to take the subject off of her.

"No," Ellone frowned and shook her head. "He's a boy. Now who will I play with?"

Raine laughed softly. "Sorry, baby," she said. She ran her hand over Ellone's face and through her hair. "But, you'll still be a good sister, right?"

Ellone nodded. "And I think Uncle Laguna will be a good daddy."

Raine laughed again. "I think he makes a better uncle," she rolled her eyes.

Ellone nodded, unaware of Raine's implications. She looked away for a moment, then back at Raine. "Raine?" she said softly. "Do you think… Uncle Laguna will ever be able to come back?"

"I hope so, Elle," Raine sighed. She kissed the girl on the forehead. "Now, go watch over your brother," she said. "I need to rest."

Ellone pretended to go in the other room, but instead hid in the corner out of sight so she could watch Raine.

Raine motioned for one of the women to come over, who hurried to her side.

"Lay still," the woman commanded.

Raine waved her hand lazily, denying commands even in her weakened state. She pointed to a nearby table. "My journal," she said. "Get it."

The woman nodded and retrieved the book, then brought it to Raine's side.

"Bookmarked page," she said. "His name is there."

The women flipped open the book and read the page. "...But... It's your maiden surname..." She looked back at Raine hesitantly. "...Don't you want his name -"

"No," Raine commanded. "Exactly as it's written," she whispered. "And... Ellone..." Raine took a labored breath. "Destroy her records. Leave her without a surname."

"But, Raine,"

Rained coughed, the sound rumbling deep in her chest. "For... Her protection... Idiot..."

"Okay..."

Raine reached up, grasping the woman's shirt. Her grip was surprisingly strong in her state and the women grew visibly nervous. "On... My stone... Use his name."

"This is confusing," the woman mumbled.

"Write. It. Down. Raine Loire."

The woman nodded and scribbled notes in the journal.

"My flowers," Raine whispered.

"The white blossoms," the woman said.

Raine barely managed a slight nod.

"Edea... Kramer... Write down the name... Centra... Send them to her. She... She will know what to do... She can... Protect them..."

"K, r, a, m,"

"Idiot," Raine coughed.

"Raine, I've got it, okay?" the woman said, frowning down at her. "You should rest! You lost so much blood..."

"If you read my journal," Raine whispered, "I will kill you."

"Raine," the woman shook her head.

"Haunt you," Raine corrected.

"Raine! That's enough!"

"Give... Give it to Edea... To... Give to Ellone... And Squall..."

"Who?"

"The... Baby... You... Stupid... Ugh..."

"Okay, okay! I'm sorry!" She grasped the older woman's hand. "Please Raine, you have to rest. I'm scared!"

Raine managed to raise her brows, though her eyes were closed. "You...?" she said, looking up at her. She closed her eyes again. "That's everything. Now... Get out..."

"Raine,"

"Now."

The woman went back down the stairs, leaving Raine alone. Raine sighed, knowing that her next few breaths would be her last.

 _I wished you could have been here. I wish things had been different. But I cannot take it with me when I go. I trust Edea. It's the right decision._

She felt small fingers wrap around her dangling hand. She tried to look down at her, but moving was no option. She managed a slight smile.

"Ellone."

"I'm sorry, Raine," Ellone said. "I don't wanna be with the baby now. I don't wanna leave you."

"It's alright," Raine whispered. "You... Will have... Lots of time... With him."

"I'm scared, Raine," Ellone said, biting back the tears.

"Ellone... I love you, kid..."

"I love you too, Raine... Don't die..."

Raine closed her eyes one last time. "It will be... Okay. Look after him... Please... Ellone..."

Ellone nodded. "I promise."

Rinoa felt Ellone's sadness and grief. In the back of her mind she heard her voice.

 _"Sorry if it's a little much,"_ she said. _"It's hard for me to remember those days."_

 _"Ellone?"_ Rinoa asked. _"How are you…"_

Ellone continued, ignoring her question.

 _"They sent us to the orphanage soon after that. They sent Laguna a letter, telling him about Raine, but… He didn't track me down again until years later. I realized when I saw him that Raine had never told him about Squall. She never told him, Rinoa. So I had to make a choice - I had to protect Raine's secret, or show Laguna the truth. I think, once he learned Raine had died... He had no reason to come back." ~_

* * *

Rinoa opened her eyes, and Ellone opened hers. They looked at one another, and Rinoa noticed she was back in the courtyard.

"So... Laguna just found out about Squall, too?" Rinoa asked.

Ellone blinked. "You're a fast recoverer," she said. "Most people get pretty dazed."

Rinoa shrugged. "I am kind of a sorceress,"

Ellone smiled. "I told Laguna a few months ago, after he met Squall for the first time. He's been… Sorting out himself ever since, I think. He loved Raine a lot. It's going to be hard for him."

Rinoa frowned. "I don't mean to be negative," she said. "...But, if he cared about you, why didn't he come back?"

Ellone sighed. "That's the end-all question," she said. "He's never addressed it directly, nor have I, but… I did some research in his memories. I've been putting the pieces together for a long time now. The best I can come up with, is grief."

"Grief?" Rinoa repeated.

Ellone nodded. "He'd been trying to protect me for so long, and with Raine's death I think… I think he lost hope in a lot of things. Besides, I was Raine's niece. Though Laguna was found of me, I wasn't really his responsibility. I think Esthar was an excuse to stay busy, to stay away. He may seem like an easy-going guy, but he does have a lot of sadness in him."

"I see," Rinoa said, looking at her hands in her lap. "I wonder… What Squall will do when he realizes that he has a living breathing president-of-Esthar father," she blinked. "Good God," she realized, "he's going to freak,"

She sighed. "That's what I'm afraid of," Ellone groaned. "But, at least it will put a lot of things in perspective for him. I've been slowly revealing it to him for almost a year now, through the 'dreamworld.' It's time Laguna finally told him."

"Is that what he's doing right now?" Rinoa pointed her thumb in the direction of the office.

Ellone nodded. "I would think so."

"Wow," Rinoa breathed. "…I'm glad I came on this trip with him," she admitted.

"I'm glad you did too," Ellone laughed. "Believe me - he's gonna need it."

* * *

Selphie and Zell were already asleep by the fire as Irvine lightly plucked the guitar strings. Quistis was captivated by the flames, and listened to the melody with a fondness for its earthy rhythm. When Irvine finished the song, he placed his guitar at his side. He rolled up some tobacco into paper and lit it. Quistis sat beside him, and took it from his hand, taking a puff as well. He chuckled, and she winked as she handed it back.

"Irvine, can I ask you something?" Quistis wondered, blowing out the smoke.

"Sure," he shrugged.

"What are you gonna do? You know, after we get back?"

It was a tough question that he had been pondering himself for a while. He took a long drag and exhaled slowly.

"I don't know," he admitted. "I guess I'll head back to Galbadia. I'll meet up with a few old friends there... You know, start my life back over."

"Do you think it'll be the same?" she asked.

"No," he laughed. "Not at all. But... It's the only place where I have some foundation. As much fun as Balamb's been, it's just not... Home."

"I know what you mean," she said. "Galbadia's home for you then, huh?"

He shrugged. "Home is where the heart is – I guess I'm still looking for mine."

Quistis nodded. She smiled at him. Although the undertones were saddening, their past was something that they could not take back, and Irvine seemed to accept if not embrace sat there for a while in silence until Irvine picked up his guitar again. Quistis enjoyed the melody and thought to herself.

Life, love, meaning – they were things that were always in front of her but she did not see until recently. It reminded her that her youth was over and life was beginning to fall into her hands. The future was before her, and the past haunted her – she was ready to experience the present.

"I'm going to miss you guys," she said. "You, and Selphie,"

Irvine nodded. "It'll suck for a while, but I'm sure we'll keep in touch,"

"Well, what about you two?"

"Who?"

"You and Selphie," she explained. "You guys aren't getting into a relationship or anything?"

He chuckled to himself, softly plucking the strings. "Not that I know of,"

"I think she likes you," Quistis hinted.

"She say that?" Irvine asked.

She giggled. "Not necessarily... But I can tell,"

He smiled, but it faded soon after. "She's great, I like her a lot. But, I think that she has her heart set on Trabia - not me."

Quistis frowned and placed her hand on his shoulder.

"It's all right," Irvine shrugged. "I want her to be happy."

"So, you like her too, then," Quistis grinned.

"Of course," he laughed. "She's always been my favorite."

She smiled, warmed by his affection for Selphie. It saddened her that the two of them wouldn't recognize their feelings for one another. She wondered if such admiration could so easily disappear. As for now, it seemed likely.

"Irvine, you deserve love," Quistis sighed.

"Thanks, Quistis," he said, kissing her gently on the cheek. "It will happen someday. And I'm sure it will be worth waiting for."

"Right," she nodded. "Maybe it will be Selphie. Who knows," she offered with a shrug.

They stayed quiet for a while, both their minds wondering the same thing.


	11. Ellone

Seifer sipped on his coffee eagerly, enjoying its bitter bite and the rush of caffeine through his blood. Cream and sugar was for the weak. Only three spoonfuls of grounds per pot was laughable. He stared at the ripples in the cup as Rajin rambled on beside him. He hated being in public these days, but he had a reputation to maintain - a reputation as a sane person. He couldn't afford to seem like a recluse - not anymore. The bartender put two plates of food in front of them and a third one before Fujin. Seifer silently stuck his cup out for a refill.

"I'll just get you the pot," she smiled at him, then left.

He rolled his eyes and began to tear into his breakfast. Rajin stuffed his own face beside him, but continued to carry on with his mouth full.

"And, ya know, she was all like, 'Rajin, how can you be like that?' and I was like, 'please, baby, how can I not be like that, ya know?' That's when she slapped me. But this is the best part," he said, swallowing his food and taking a sip of coffee.

"It gets better?" Seifer mumbled, more concerned with the meat on his plate.

"So I call her up the next day, right," he laughs, "and she's like, 'ooh, I wanna talk about it,' ya know, and I'm like, 'oh yeah baby, we can definitely talk about it.' Then I get there and she wants to do it _again_. I'm like, this girl is nuts, ya know?" He laughed again, unaffected of Seifer's lack of response.

"RAJIN," Fujin chimed in from the stool beside him.

"What?"

"SHUT. UP."

Seifer laughed, and Fujin smiled with him.

"Geeze, you know," Rajin groaned, "I thought it was pretty funny,"

"...Let us enjoy our breakfast," Fujin mumbled as she munched on a piece of bacon.

Rajin shrugged. "You know what, guys? You seem real dull lately. I mean, Fujin, you're always dull, ya know, but what's _your_ deal, Seifer?"

Seifer scoffed. "Please. Me, dull?" He finished his cup of coffee.

"I'm not DULL," Fujin argued.

Rajin ignored her as he rolled his eyes at Seifer. "I wouldn't believe it ya know, if I hadn't seen it with my own eyes,"

"You _never_ shut up, do you?" Seifer complained.

"Seifer, I'm serious,"

"I am, too."

"Ah shaddap. Now listen - I was watching you last night,"

Seifer gripped his forehead. "That's weird."

"I was watching you at the _bar_ , and I saw what happened with that girl, ya know!"

"What girl?" Seifer blinked.

"Um, excuse me? 'What girl?'" Rajin scoffed. "Ya know! That blond bombshell... The one who threw herself all over you?"

"Oh, right," Seifer recalled. "What was her name?"

Rajin scoffed. "How should I know, man? And who cares?! That's not the point, ya know? She bought you a drink, she was all over you. Even her hot _friends_ were all over you. And you just stood there, barely acknowledging a single one of 'em? That bothers me. Ya know they were definitely hot enough. The Seifer I know would have been all over that - literally - ya know?" He crossed his arms and watched Seifer inquisitively.

Seifer crossed his own arms back at him. "Rajin, you have nothing better to do at a bar than watch me? What's _your_ deal?"

"RAJIN," Fujin said, and the guys looked over at her. "SEIFER..." she began, "he's with the Instructor."

"What?" Rajin said, turning back to Seifer. "Puh-lease! I mean, she's hot, ya know? But come on - not Quistis,"

"Not Quistis," Seifer affirmed, seeking out the bartender for another refill. "Where's the entire pot I was promised?"

"LIES," Faujin claimed, crossing her arms across her chest. "I see it,"

"See _what_ ," Seifer rolled his eyes at her.

"COME ON!" Fujin said, and they flinched. "You're INTO her. REALLY into her," she laughed with Rajin at her emphasis.

"Hey! You!" Seifer shouted down the bar, "where's my fucking coffee?" The bartender dropped a full pot in front of him and quickly scurried away, avoiding his nasty stare. He refilled his cup and took a long sip, then refilled it again. "'Fuckin' waiters..."

"You shouldn't mess with people who handle your food, ya know," Rajin mumbled. "And what's wrong with waiters?"

"WAITERS," Fujin laughed. "He's not mad about WAITERS - he's mad because he's gaga over a GIRL." She laughed again as it very much amused her.

Seifer glared at her. "You know, you sure to talk a lot for someone who doesn't say much,"

"Please, Seifer," she rolled her uncovered eye. "What's so wrong with it, anyway? It's GOOD you like someone."

"Yeah, well, I don't think it's so great." He slammed his cup down on the bar and pulled out his wallet. He threw down some gil and put his wallet back.

The other two recoiled as the older man angrily stepped up. "Seifer, c'mon," Fujin said gently, "don't be mad,"

"Yeah, man..." Rajin agreed. "It's cool, ya know?"

"What do you guys know, anyway?" Seifer snapped. "You don't know shit about me - you don't know anything about my past, and you sure as fuck don't know anything about Quistis,"

"Hey, man," Rajin complained, "that hurts, ya know? We're your possy. Of course we know you... Ya know?"

Fujin nodded in agreement. "Yeah... Even if we don't know EVERYTHING... We still care about you,"

Seifer sighed. He hated that some people could get him soft, but he couldn't stay mad at them. He'd already lost plenty of friends in his lifetime - it probably wasn't a good idea to push away more.

"Sorry, guys," he said.

Rajin and Fujin shrugged in acceptance.

"...Wanna talk?" Fujin asked.

Seifer shook his head. "No. I'm gonna get some air. I'll see you guys later."

They nodded, and watched as he left.

"WOW," Fujin said.

"I know, ya know?" Rajin laughed.

Fujin laughed too. They went back to their food, Seifer on Fujin's mind and food on the other's.

"You think he's gonna finish that?" he asked, pointing to Seifer's plate.

"IDIOT," Fujin said in between bites.

* * *

Squall blinked. In an instant, it all made sense. Then, it didn't make any sense. Apparently, it had to make sense. Through all the thoughts fluttering through his mind at the moment, one stood out - he remembered the scene Ellone had shown him once of herself, Laguna and Raine. He remembered her face. He thought of Raine.

 _My mother?_

"So…" Squall began, after what seemed like an eternity, "That woman from Winhill, Raine..."

"She was your mother," Laguna nodded. "You see, I…" Laguna put his hand to his chin, trying to think of the right words to say. "I did not know that Raine… Had a child. Ellone told me only a few months ago who you were. So, I think I may almost be as shocked as you."

"Ellone…" Squall began, his thoughts and memories coinciding and crashing together in a mental windstorm. "She's known? All this time?"

Laguna nodded. "Yes. She felt that I should be the one to tell you, and, I'm glad she did." He sighed. "You see, Squall, had I known about you, I would have…"

Squall held up his hand, silencing him. He didn't want to hear the words he knew were coming. "I'm sorry," he said. "This is just… A lot to take in. All at once."

Laguna nodded. "Of course, I understand." He stood, turning away contemplatively. "What's done is done. All we can do is think of the future." He turned back around. "I'd like to get to know you more. Your mother… She was very dear to me. And I think she would have wanted us to know one another, someday…" He shook his head, pushing away his own internal conflicts. "You're an adult, capable of your own decisions. We can have whatever kind of relationship you see fit. If you want to remain simply business associates with same DNA, I'm okay with that. But… I would like to know you, as my son."

 _Your son?_ Squall thought. Again he blinked. And he thought, and he blinked. _This is too much._

"Please, take some time to think about it," Laguna said.

"I guess I have to," Squall said. He stood. "If you'll excuse me… I'm going to get some air."

Laguna nodded. "Sure. Take your time. I'll see you when you're ready."

Squall nodded in return, and left as quickly as he could without seeming completely rude.

Laguna sighed and sat down behind his desk. He rubbed his tired eyes. He thought of Raine, and he resented her for keeping such a thing a secret. But the feeling didn't last long, and he knew full well that he was to blame for what she did. She resented him, Squall resented him, and he felt that he deserved it. He sighed again, then tried to bury himself and his feelings into his work, as if it would somehow make things disappear.

Squall quickly made his way down the corridor. He had no destination in mind, but he walked with purpose. His steps felt heavy and his breath felt shallow.

 _What in the hell is going on here?_

He turned around the curve where their rooms were, and noticed Rinoa turning the corner as well. She looked at him with urgency, and he was sure his face conveyed the same expression.

"Squall," Rinoa breathed, as if she'd finally found him. He said nothing, just stood before her. She touched his face gently and frowned. "You look like a ghost," she said. "Are you all right?"

Squall wanted to say yes, but he couldn't bring himself to. He just stared at her.

"Squall?" she repeated. She watched him, trying to read his thoughts by his face, but couldn't. She never could. She wrapped her arms around him. She squeezed him gently, and after a moment he weakly placed his arms around her.

"Ellone told me," she said. "Ellone told me, about Laguna, Raine…"

Squall shook his head. "I…" He couldn't formulate any other words. He didn't know what to say.

"Everything will be okay," Rinoa said, tears beginning to pool in her eyes. "I'm here for you. And Ellone. We'll help you through it," she said.

He observed her tears, and felt genuinely perplexed by them. "Rinoa," he said as he wiped away the tears that fell down her cheeks, "why… Why are you crying?"

She sniffled. "Because," she began, releasing him, "it makes me sad, the story of your mother. Your story, Laguna's. Your life, it's been so hard," she shook her head and wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. "It shouldn't have been. It doesn't need to be."

It didn't instantly make sense to him. She was shedding tears because of things others had experienced, that he experienced? An eerily familiar feeling crept up as Squall remembered his own frustration and rage, months ago, when he suffered through something he couldn't change. He'd felt lost when he couldn't help Rinoa. He remembered the feeling of helplessness, and how it reminded him of when he was young. _Should I feel that way now?_

He wiped her face again as he realized she was feeling the sadness that should have been his. "Don't," he plead. "Don't cry, Rinoa. Not for me."

"It hurts me to see you hurt," she told him. "It hurts me to see the things you've lost. I want you to heal... I want to love you enough for all the people who didn't."

Squall tossed her words around in his mind, then thought of how this had been quite a day for him, when it hadn't even really begun. He didn't know what to say. Of course he felt a deep love for her. He'd wanted to hear her say she felt the same. Ultimately, he understood. But he was also in somewhat of a state of shock. He thought of what he should say, but the words escaped him as soon as they came.

With his mind in an utter state of chaos, he found himself responding in other ways. He brought his lips to hers, wrapping his arm tightly around her waist. He felt her soft lips, and her warm tears on his cheek. She kissed him back eagerly, wrapping her arms around his neck. His response was a surprise, but a welcome one. Her fingers went through his hair fiercely, and he felt a wave of arousal at her enthusiasm. He welcomed the feeling – anything was better than utter chaos.

"Rinoa," he breathed, and he buried his own hands in her hair.

She knew that look, and was happy to oblige him as a current of emotions tossed about within her. Rinoa removed the key card from her pocket and opened the door to her room. She pulled him inside, refusing the remove herself from his lips.

Squall closed the door behind them, threw off his gloves and jacket and clutched her eagerly against the wall. He wiped the remaining tears away and kissed her lips. Rinoa clutched his hair in her hands and felt herself sigh deep in her throat. Her lips tingled as his tongue flicked between them. He kissed her neck, then her down her collar. He tugged at her shirt and lifted it over her head in a second.

Rinoa felt like she was being washed away by a storm, unable to resist, and she tried to catch her breath before his mouth was on hers again. She moaned as he trailed his lips back down her neck and bare chest.

"Squall," she breathed.

She almost asked him to slow down, but he made a growling sound that made her shiver. She brought her lips to his neck and sucked eagerly, then moved aside as he pulled his own shirt off. Their lips met again, and she found her hands running down his chest to tug at his belt. He pulled her shorts down and she kicked them and her sandals off. His hands trailed up her bare legs. He stopped below her buttocks and pressed her against the door. She felt the burning pull of arousal as his hips hit hers. She'd thought last night was the most adventurous she'd seen him, but this was something else, and she could barely contain her excitement as she ripped off his belt.

Before she knew what was happening, she felt her bra release and he pushed it off her shoulders. Squall explored her chest with his hands and mouth. She craned her neck back and sighed. Rinoa wanted nothing more than to know what it would be like to have him inside of her. She'd thought that she would have wanted things slow, steady, and soft - but she was very much enjoying the way things were going now.

Squall took her from the wall and turned around, placing her on the bed. He kicked his boots off and removed the pants that she unbuttoned. He climbed on top of her. Rinoa felt the familiarity of his body, his touch, his kiss, though it all seemed new and exciting. The wave of arousal inside of her threatened to explode as he began to pull her panties down her legs. "Squall," she breathed nervously. He growled as he kissed her lips and finished pulling them off. Before she knew it, his fingers were exploring her most delicate place.

She gasped and met his lips as he kissed her again and again. He kissed her like he was hungry for it and touched her with a fury she could barely withstand. She realized she couldn't anymore, and she felt the orgasm erupt between her legs. She moaned in surprise, and he caught it with his mouth as he kissed her. He felt her orgasm and couldn't contain his excitement. He pulled his hand away and removed his boxers. He climbed back on top of her. He positioned himself to enter her, and she gasped.

"Squall!" she said. He stopped, and looked up. "What… What about protection?" she breathed.

He looked down at his hand, suddenly aware of what he was about to do. "Oh," he said. He rolled off of her, realizing that he had none, then scratched the back of his head. His body wanted nothing more than to continue, but his mind scolded him for losing control.

"Sorry," he said. "I think… I got a little carried away."

"I'll say you did," Rinoa laughed.

"Really, that was stupid-" he began.

Rinoa shook her head. She placed her hand over him boldly and he felt his breath catch in his throat. "My turn," she said, and he felt her lips at his neck. He felt her hand slide over him and he closed his eyes.

Maybe it wasn't the worst day after all.

* * *

After Squall's episode of shell-shock wore off, he found himself tilting his head at a painting. Rinoa's head seemed to be tilted the same way.

"That's an interesting one," she said.

He smirked, and wondered still how she'd been able to drag him to a place like this. An art museum in the heart of Esthar did not sound like something he'd be interested in - at all. Or even something that would exist. But, apparently there was such a thing, and apparently she was interested. Although he was bored out of his mind, he did enjoy an excuse to get out of the palace.

Squall crossed his arms. "I think it's supposed to be an elnoyle,"

Rinoa tilted her head the other way. "...Oh yeah," she said after a moment. "Strange," she laughed, then looked at him. "Who knew you'd have such an eye for art?"

He rolled his eyes. "I have an eye for monsters."

"Right," she acknowledged, her finger on her lips. She smiled at him. "You are a little out of your element here, huh?"

"To say the least," he scoffed, tilting his head again at the painting. "Is it eating or something?"

She laughed again, pleased that such a mundane activity would lighten his mood on a day like today. "Thanks for bringing me here," she said.

He shrugged. "Whatever. I needed to get out of there, anyway."

Rinoa smiled and nodded, turning back to the painting. "When you're ready to talk about it, I'm here for you."

Squall cringed inwardly at that. He was anxious not to discuss it, not at this moment. He sighed. He had to acknowledge it, because he knew it was kind of her to offer.

"Thank you," he answered.

She interlaced her fingers with his. He looked their hands, feeling strange about the gesture at first. They had never really touched in public. But no one was around, her hand was soft and he reveled in the contact.

"It's nice," she said.

He shrugged. "It's okay, I guess."

She laughed. "Not that crap," she said, looking at him. He looked at her curiously. "Your hand. You're always wearing gloves."

"Oh," he said, realizing what she meant. He hadn't grabbed his jacket or gloves when he dressed earlier, just opted for a long-sleeved shirt. "Had other things on my mind, I guess."

She giggled, and he couldn't help being softened by the way she laughed. "I don't mind it," she stated. She led him to the next wall of paintings.

"Ellone was right about this place. It's incredible."

"Did you get to ask her about Julia?" Squall asked.

Rinoa was surprised he would bring up that subject, but she shrugged it off.

"I did," she said. She thought of how to explain. "I didn't get to see much of her; she wanted to show me your past, first. She wanted to explain things to me."

"Sorry," he shrugged. He wondered why Ellone was so keen on telling everyone about his past but him.

She shook her head. "Don't be - I'm glad she did. And, I got to find out where her one true love disappeared to," she laughed, trying to lighten the topic. "It's hard to believe how we're all connected."

"Small world," he offered, weakly.

"I think you should ask Ellone about _your_ mother," Rinoa said.

He raised his brows. "Raine?"

Rinoa nodded. "Yeah. She was super cool, Squall. I think you'd like her."

He laughed, which surprised both of them. "You think so?" he asked.

"Yes," she nodded. She looked away again, averting her eyes to the painting. "You're so lucky, you know… To have Ellone. No one has that ability… To hold on to the past."

Squall sighed. "I'm never sure it's a good thing," he confessed.

"Maybe not," Rinoa agreed. "But… It is something."

Although what she'd said was simple, he found himself pondering it. He found it interesting how she so simply offered an optimistic view for everything. Then he wondered if he was truly such a complete pessimist that he needed her to remind him of the good things in life. If that was so, then did he constantly remind her of less than great things?

"Squall," Rinoa said, interrupting his thoughts. "You're thinking, again."

"Sorry," he said. "I was just thinking of how you find something positive in everything. I like that."

She turned to him and smiled, surprised, and dubious. "That's… Surprisingly romantic," she said. "I'm speechless,"

It made him remember the time he'd told Dr. Kadowaki that she was his girlfriend a year ago, and she'd said 'I'm speechless' in the same way. Then he thought of her face when he'd said he was joking. He laughed.

"I like that I can make you laugh," she cooed.

"In so many ways," Squall added, and she tightened her grip on his hand aggressively. "Ow," he said.

Rinoa loosened her grip, then turned her gaze back to the art on the walls. "You know we're gonna have to go back eventually," she said after a while.

"Yeah," he confessed.

"What are you gonna do, Squall?"

"I'm not sure," he said.

"That's an easy answer," she dismissed him. "You have to think about it."

He knew she was right, but it was hard to bring himself to admit it.

* * *

Laguna heard a short knock on the solid oak door, and he looked up from his desk for the first time in hours. He hoped it was someone he could deal with at the moment, and that wasn't very many. He cleared his throat, and said "come in."

He saw a dark hand open the door and he sighed with relief as Kiros stepped in.

"Hey," Laguna said.

"Hey," Kiros responded in his usual calm demeanor. He took the seat in front of Laguna's desk and crossed his arms. "I see things did not go so well."

"What makes you say that?" Laguna asked nervously. _Maybe Squall punched somebody..._

"You haven't come out of your office all day. That's pretty bad," Kiros explained, with a wave of his hand.

"Oh," Laguna said, slightly embarrassed. His friends knew him well, and it made him feel pretty dumb when he forgot that. He sighed, trying to find the words to describe how he felt about it. "I mean, it could have been worse..."

"Sure," Kiros shrugged. "So, what now?" he asked after a while.

"I guess I'll have to see what he thinks about it. He's out now, probably thinking it over."

"What do you think he'll do?"

Laguna thought about this, and shrugged. "Honestly, I have no idea."

"Ellone would," Kiros mentioned. "And she thinks everything will be okay."

Laguna smiled. "That's Elle for you, always looking on the bright side."

" _And_ she's always right," Kiros added.

"True," Laguna admitted.

* * *

Squall sighed as he closed the door behind him. Rinoa looked at him empathetically. He managed a smiled.

"I have to spend some time with Ellone," he said.

She nodded obediently and smiled at him. She gave his hand a light squeeze.

"Of course - take all the time you need."

He nodded in response and left, closing the door behind him.

Rinoa's smile dropped, the feeling of concern settling on her face. She sat on the bed and sighed, praying that he would find the answers he needed.

Squall paced down the hall in the direction of the courtyard. For some reason, he knew that was where she would be. With Ellone on his mind, he began to feel a familiar discomfort awaken in him, something that consumed him faster than he would have liked. Again the fears of loss and rejection from his childhood began to fester in him, and he grew impatient with the discipline it took to fight them off. He frowned and his brow furrowed, his fists clenched at his sides. He'd worked hard to develop a sense of control, and now the rug had once again been snatched from under him. That pissed him off.

Ellone owed him some answers, and he was determined to demand them. His patience had dwindled and he had a fury in him that he wanted gone. He'd been waiting his whole life to hear answers from her, and today was the day. When he found her sitting quietly in the courtyard, he stood in the doorway and waited, his arms crossed over his chest.

Ellone didn't look up from the book she was reading, and that pissed him off too. He knew full well that she could sense presence, whether he spoke or not. He waited for her to speak.

Ellone sighed to herself. Of course she felt his presence - it was hard not to feel the burning anger and hateful stare. She always experienced the inner turmoil of others. But in an effort to keep things comfortable, and to somehow blend-in with normal society, she had trained herself to conceal her powers and use them diligently. So much for that.

She closed her book and placed it aside, taking a moment to run her hand over the worn cover. She met Squall's gaze with remorse in her eyes. Somehow, she had hoped he would react differently, but she knew in her heart that he had a long way to go before he could accept or even understand everything. She pat the seat next to her.

"Come sit with me, Squall," she told him.

Her command annoyed him, even if it was used with such a gentle tone.

"No thanks," he refused.

Ellone sighed. "You're angry with me,"

"Yeah, a little bit," he snapped. His impatience got the better of him and he finally released his arms. "I don't know where to begin," he began, throwing his arms out, "should I start from the very beginning, or should I just get to the point?"

Ellone placed her fingers to her lips, appearing to actually ponder his request. "I think I would want to start from the very beginning," she said, then smiled at him, "but I know you would like to get to the point. So, let's get to the point."

Squall thought of holding it in, but the words came out without fail. "How could you, Ellone?"

The words stung like salt deep in her chest, and she clenched her eyes shut. She knew the day would come when she would hear those words from him, but hearing his voice and placing the look on his face was far worse than she could have pictured. He had a pleading look in his eyes, one she had seen many times before and would one that would haunt her, like so many things did.

"How could you not tell me?" he pressed. "How could you not tell him?" He paused for an answer, then shook his head, determined to finish. "You've known, my whole life, the answers to everything I wanted to know - needed to know," he emphasized. "Instead, you abandon me, along with a father who abandoned me, only to tell me the truth years later, when it doesn't even make a difference?" His voice steadily grew louder and Ellone winced at the scrutiny.

"Of course it makes a difference," she said.

He ignored her comment. "You're my only family, Ellone. At least I thought you were. And you wouldn't bother mentioning them?"

She frowned at him. She stood, finally meeting him at eye level, and placed her hands firmly on her hips. Squall was surprised by this and felt himself tense up, but he stood his ground.

"How can you say that?" she said, her voice strong but soft. "Squall, I practically raised you. We are family."

"So what if you did?" he snapped back, making her hesitate. "Who needs a family that keeps things from you? That abandons you? I don't. I don't need you or them. And now that I can take care of myself, now you think it's the right time to tell me?"

"Squall, please," Ellone plead, putting her hands up between them. "I understand that it's frustrating. I know you're angry, and I know why. But you're angry for the wrong reasons, and-" she pointed to herself, "at the wrong person."

He considered this, though it did nothing to appease his anger.

"I never deserted you, Squall. I never abandoned you." She took his hand into hers gently and he tried to withdraw, but she held it tight. "And I never told you about it, because I never could. I never got the chance. By the time you were old enough to understand, I was taken away." He tried to remove his hand again, but she refused to let it go.

"Please, you have to believe me," she said.

Squall wasn't sure what to believe. He felt guilty and embarrassed over accusing her of being so cruel - but what else could he think?

"How can I trust you?" he asked.

"Have I ever given you a reason not to?" she shrugged, a smile tugging at the corner of her lips. She led him back over to the bench and he didn't protest as she sat him down.

"It's confusing, I know," she sighed. "You've waited for answers long enough. It's time. I'd like to tell you about the past, explain everything. I've already shown you bits and pieces of it, but there are many gaps left to fill."

She sighed again and shook her head. "I've spent most of my life trying to alter the past. For me, for Raine, for you. Maybe that's why I was so hesitant to tell you... I thought, if I could..." She observed his tired eyes and the patience dwindling from his face.

"Where should I begin?" she asked, more of herself than of him.

She took both his hands into hers, and he blinked. He felt the familiar sensation in the back of his mind, and suddenly he understood. He closed his eyes.

* * *

~ He knew he was in Winhill before his eyes opened. He recognized the scent of the sun setting on the fields and the gentle wind blowing by. This was the only place that seemed to engulf him in a quiet state of peace, and he relished in for a while before finally opening his eyes.

The scene was dark, it was nighttime, and he observed the small bedroom that he'd been in before, the one he associated as Laguna's room when they were in Winhill. He remembered waking up in that same bed not long before. In it now was a small child sleeping peacefully. As he took a second look around the room, he remembered it was a child's room. Laguna had just been staying in the extra bed.

He knew it was Ellone from her chestnut hair poking out from under the covers, not looking much older than three or four. Squall held a secret interest in seeing her as the child he never knew, and couldn't help but smile as she snored softly. He looked at the empty bed beside her, and wondered why Laguna wasn't in it. It was clearly late, and he wondered why no one else was in the bar.

Before he could ponder it any further, two men covered in dark robes appeared from the stairwell and surprised him. He watched as they snuck into the room and moved to either side of Ellone's bed. She stirred from the movement, but as soon as she did the man on the right held a cloth over her nose and mouth. She collapsed back onto the pillow, her breath shallow. The man scooped her into his arms and nodded at the other. They quickly descended the stairs and quietly made their escape.

Squall blinked, the realization of what he was seeing finally hit him. It had happened so fast, that even as he watched it took a moment for him to piece it all together. He looked at the empty bed, the sheets dangling off the side and a small stuffed bear on the floor beside them. The rage began to swell inside of him.

Who would take a young child from their own bed, and more importantly, what kind of people would allow it to happen? Where was Raine? Where was Laguna? Where were those who were supposed to protect her?

His fists clenched and he turned to descend the stairs after her captors, knowing full well that he could do nothing about it, but not knowing what else to do. He was here to learn. Maybe he would find out where those insolent parents - his insolent parents - were, if not here. He was pissed and he almost didn't notice as a younger Laguna passed by him slowly up the stairwell. It was dark in the bar, and he was moving carefully. From the corner of his eye, Squall saw Raine appear at the bottom of the stairs, watching Laguna intently.

"She's fine," Raine whispered. "Let her sleep."

Squall heard her voice and sought her out in the dark, as if he were seeing and hearing her for the first time. When she came closer to the stairwell, she lit the oil lamp in her hand. She was illuminated and only a few steps away. Squall looked at her face, her eyes, and wondered how their physical similarity seemed to elude him before. She was just some woman who was dumb enough to fall for a guy like Laguna - he'd never paid much attention to her. Now she was someone entirely new. He was lost in thought when Laguna took the lamp and she was covered in darkness again.

"I'm just going to check, real quick," he whispered, and she smiled at him. Laguna ascended the stairs, and Squall felt frozen in place.

Laguna called out Raine's name after a moment, and she jumped. His voice was loud, but not quite a yell. She hurried up the stairs, and Squall soon followed after her. Laguna's face was pale white in the darkness. The small corner of the room was illuminated, and Raine stepped in.

"Laguna," Raine whispered, "you're going to wake her-" She observed the empty bed and gasped.

"It can't be," she breathed. She pulled the blankets off of both beds, throwing them to the ground. Finding them empty, she called out her name.

"Ellone? Are you hiding?" She looked around but heard nothing. Her hand clasped over her heart, and warm tears began to fill her normally cold eyes.

Laguna had never seen Raine in such a state and he was blindsided by Ellone's disappearance. He had slowly grown to think of the three of them as a family. He thought of the ring he had waiting for Raine. But all of that had just been shattered. He descended the stairs, leaving Raine panicking in the room alone.

Squall watched as she took a few long breaths. She wiped the tears from her eyes and stood, her face reflecting a strong determination. Even he was impressed with how quickly she regained control. She descended the stairs, so Squall did as well, looking back only once more at the empty room.

He watched from the stairwell while Laguna paced back and forth around the bar, obviously in deep and hurried thought. Raine sat on a stool as he paced by. She thought for a moment, then spoke.

"Maybe she snuck outside, to feed the chocobos..."

Laguna shook his head. "No. She knows not to run off alone. She knows,"

Raine nodded in agreement, seemingly unfazed by the grim possibilities before her. She got up and took a notebook and a pen out from behind the bar. She sat back down and began to scribble a list of names. She pulled her phone from her pocket and flipped it open. She began to dial.

Laguna watched as she quietly talked it over with the townspeople, and he found himself entirely too anxious. How was she able to handle everything so calmly? Ellone, her niece, the girl she had raised practically from birth, had disappeared in the middle of the night.

"We need to go," he said impatiently.

She held up her hand. "It's okay. I have a plan. I'll have the whole town searching for her. They'll find her if she's here."

He nodded, though he knew the odds that Ellone was still in town were slim. As much as he didn't want to admit it, he knew deep down that she had been taken. Raine knew it, too. There was no denying that there would come a day when the word would spread of her abilities, and she would be taken into captivity. That's why they had been so careful. That's why they had been so prepared. But he came along and ruined all of that, and he knew that he was to blame.

"She's been taken, Raine," he sighed, feeling utterly hopeless.

Raine put down her phone and stood, offering a half-hearted smile. "Maybe. But it's still a good idea to look. And if she's been taken, we'll deal with it."

He nodded, recovering a small amount of hope. "...I'm sorry," he said after a while, his eyes on the ground.

She frowned. "Sorry? Laguna, it's not your fault," she assured him.

 _Yeah, it is_ , Squall thought.

"Yeah, it is," Laguna said, looking her over. He sighed and scratched the back of his head nervously. "I mean, if I weren't here, and if we hadn't been-"

"Don't say it," she commanded. "You're right. We should have been more careful. What's done is done. All we can do is think of the future. We have to find her, and get her back, whatever it takes."

He would remember those words for the rest of his life.

Once again, Squall was in a field in Winhill, and once again, it was dark. But the moon was full, and it lit up the area with an eerie glow. Laguna and Raine were there together, quiet for some time. Squall noticed the moonlight reflecting off their wedding bands.

"I can't thank you enough for doing this," she said softly as she took his hand. "Please, find her... But be safe."

He nodded. "I will."

They were quiet for a while, then he said, "I'll come back as soon as I can."

Squall knew differently. "I understand. He left to find you. He did it for her."

He heard Ellone's voice in his head. "Yes. Laguna felt guilty because he thought of himself as a distraction. He took Raine's and his own attention away from me by wanting to be with her..."

Squall felt a little guilty for being inadvertently responsible for her capture, though he knew it was far-fetched.

Ellone continued with her story. "When she found out she was pregnant, she worried of what Laguna would think. They had never discussed children, and she was worried he wouldn't be very pleased. She planned to tell him, when we could all be together again, but... That day never came. She got sick."

"I know the rest," Squall's thoughts answered back. "How Raine died, how he freed Esthar, and how we ended up at the orphanage. What I don't know is why didn't he come back? Why did it happen this way - to us?"

"Esthar... Had everything he ever wanted," she tried to explain. "He felt accomplished, and he wanted to put his new life into motion. The people begged him to stay. He thought it was for a good purpose. He wanted to come back to us, but he knew Raine would never want to leave Winhill, so... He wanted to stay in Esthar, at least for the time being. I know that... If he had known about you, or that Raine was sick, he would have come home. And then when he learned that Raine had died, well... He had no reason to come home."

"What about you?" Squall wondered.

"I guess I was a little more trouble than I was worth," was all she could say.

Squall understood. She was the one who had been abandoned – not him. He felt sorry for treating her the way he had, and for misunderstanding her his whole life.

"...I'm sorry," he offered.

"I accepted his choice long ago. I've let go of any past indiscretions. My aunt, Laguna, they are the only people in the world who cared so much about me. So I'm glad. I hope Laguna would do the same. He carries so much guilt, because he loves us deeply." ~

* * *

Squall opened his eyes, tired with the mental conversation.

Ellone opened hers as well. She waited for a while as he came of a daze. When he looked over at her, she smiled at him.

"It's a new feeling," she said, "but you'll get used to it, like the many new feelings you've found." She gave him a knowing look. "I had the pleasure of spending some time with Rinoa this morning."

Squall rolled his eyes at for her changing the subject, but he played along. "That's how she knew about this."

"Oh," she said, realizing she probably shouldn't have gotten Rinoa involved in his business without his permission. "...You're not mad, are you?" she wondered.

He shrugged. He had been, at first. But those resentments had left him quickly. "No. I don't mind."

She sighed in relief, and her smiled returned. "That's good." They sat there together for a while, both thinking of the same person. "She loves you," Ellone said.

"...I know," he responded, unsure of what else to say.

Ellone blinked. "You do, huh?" she gushed.

"She told me so, right before I came here."

"She did?"

Squall nodded, as if it were no big deal.

She laughed, and rubbed his hand. "I'm proud of you. I need to rest. But, if you're up for it, I can show you more after dinner."

He nodded, though he knew he'd pass on that offer. He was tired of the past, whether he understood it or not. At least for tonight.

"Oh, and something you should know," Ellone said as he turned to go. He stopped and turned back.

"Raine," she said, "she's wanted to meet you for a long time. Now that you know who she is, don't be surprised if she shows up."

"...Okay," Squall said, thinking it must have been some kind of metaphor.

"You'll see her in your dreams," Ellone explained.

She left Squall then, and he could only watch her go, pondering what she meant.


	12. Dreams and Ambitions

When the ship docked and Seifer was finally on land again, he spit the salt from his mouth onto the ground. _Damned boat ride took forever._ He was pissed he didn't have a ship like Squall did - that would have cut his time in half. This place was a wasteland, anyway, and he'd wasted over half a day to get here.

"Um, hey..." A lone sailor addressed him as he prepared the boat for departure. "Are you going to need some provisions?"

Seifer smirked. "I have everything I need," he responded as he walked away from the dock.

"But, wait - it's dangerous out there. There aren't any shops or Inns - you know that, right?"

Seifer waved his hand and didn't bother responding. He had his gunblade at his side and that was all he ever needed. The sailor blinked and watched as the mysterious man disappeared. He shrugged and began to untie the boat. _That guy seemed a little crazy, anyway._

Seifer thought of traveling to the chocobo forest, but he'd be damned pissed if he wasn't able to catch one. He was already in a bad mood, and he didn't need to deal with some big dumb bird. He decided he'd travel the entire journey on foot. At least it would give him time to think.

What seemed like hours passed, and when he finally saw the white house in the distance, he sighed. He was parched, and plenty tired from all of that thinking he'd been doing. He stopped for a moment and took it in from a distance. It was strange how this land was completely barren and war-torn, yet the orphanage still remained with life growing in and out of it.

He put on his game face - it was time. When he reached the large wooden doors, he slammed his fist on them and knocked with determination. The door opened with a loud creek and Edea slowly poked her head out. Her eyes widened and her mouth dropped a bit.

"Seifer," she gasped.

"Yeah," he nodded.

* * *

Rinoa found herself antsy after sitting in the room by herself for a while. She hadn't thought to bring a book or anything entertaining, and she felt a little uncomfortable about wandering around Esthar without Squall. But after serious boredom, she decided that it was silly of her to think that she needed him to escort her everywhere she went. She had been invited to Esthar, too. She even had her own room. _Why shouldn't I wander around?_

She nodded to herself, grabbing a light jean jacket and pulling it on. It wasn't cold yet, but the sun would soon set, and she knew she'd kick herself later if she didn't bring a jacket. She looked at herself in the mirror, adjusted her hair and bit, then grabbed her key card and was out the door.

After taking a few laps around the palace, she realized that the place was starting to seem less extravagant and more... Boring. She sighed, and found herself wondering what she would be doing if she was on her own, in Timber. She was always independent, and now she was trying to find ways to keep herself busy. It seemed that she had become more dependent on those around her. _If I never met Squall, where would I be right now?_

The thought left as quickly as it came as she stepped outside and the cool air brushed past her, giving her a short sense of relaxation. She smiled and began to wander around the front of the palace. When she turned the corner, she noticed a familiar figure in the corner.

She smiled when she saw him, and was sure to make noise as she approached as not to startle him. He turned at the sound of her footsteps, and he smiled at her. She waved as she approached.

"Hey Laguna," Rinoa said. "Getting some fresh air?"

He shrugged, lifting the cigarette between his fingers. "Old habits die hard," he said, smiling half-heartily.

She smiled and held her hand up in refusal after he opened the pack, offering her one. He placed the pack back in his pocket, then lit the cigarette in his hand. He drew a long puff and they stayed there in silence for a while. Although they didn't really know each other, they were comfortable in sharing a silence. They were just those kinds of people.

She knew he probably didn't want to talk about it, but she could think of nothing else to say. "So, how did everything go today? With Squall?"

Laguna shrugged, taking another puff from his cigarette. He blew it out slowly as he thought of what to say. "Well, I'm not sure," he admitted.

Rinoa smiled. "Yeah. He's kind of hard to read."

He chuckled at that, as he'd always thought the same thing about his wife. Squall was certainly his mother's son. Thinking of Raine made the sadness in him return, and his smile faded slowly.

"Don't worry about it," Rinoa said, touching his arm lightly. "Everything will be okay. He just needs time."

Laguna nodded. He appreciated her words, though he couldn't bring himself to say so. He took another drag in silence.

"You're a great guy, Laguna," she continued. "Soon, he'll see that, too."

"Thanks, Rinoa." He gave her a warm smile. "You're cool, too." He took one last puff and extinguishing the butt on a nearby ashtray. "Do me a favor - leave the smoking thing between us. Ellone doesn't like it, and I doubt Squall would, either."

She grinned. "No problem." They sat down on a bench and silently watched the people going by.

"So, you wanna hear about Julia?" he asked.

Rinoa shrugged. "Sure, I do. But, I understand if you've got other things on your mind."

He certainly did. He realized that he hadn't even really thought much about Julia until Rinoa appeared. He felt a little guilty about that, but it was not up to him what his heart decided.

"How about after dinner?" he offered.

"Sure."

"For now, let's enjoy this sunset."

She nodded in agreement. It was something to be enjoyed.

* * *

When Squall found her room empty, he instantly felt a pang of guilt for leaving Rinoa alone. Normally, he wouldn't have felt such a thing but he was worried - it was a bad idea for her to travel around any town alone, much less Esthar. She was still considered dangerous by a lot of people, and he'd been careful to shelter her from that. Not to mention that the Estharians were likely very unhappy about her escape from the Memorial. Now she was off alone somewhere, and if something happened to her he'd never be able to forgive himself. He thought of Ellone, how someone can be snatched from your life in an instant. The thought gave him chills.

He took a breath to calm himself. He knew it was probably unnecessary to be so paranoid, but he couldn't help himself. He always jumped to the worst conclusion of the worst-case scenario, it was just his nature. But, he'd done a lot to grant Rinoa her freedom. _Is it right for me to always be around? Is it right for me to sacrifice her freedom for her safety?_

He pondered these thoughts over for a while, then realized he'd been standing there for a while, retreating into himself. That was another habit he was trying to break. He shook the thoughts from his head and decided to find her. _But only because I have nothing better to do_ , or so he told himself.

Squall went toward the entrance of the palace, assuming that he would have seen her if she'd headed the other way. He tried to conceal the look of unease on his face as he passed by random workers that eyed him curiously. He saw them whisper, and he wondered if the whole world already knew that he was Laguna's son. If so, how long had they known?

He was lost in thought again and almost bumped into Laguna as he turned a corner. They both stopped suddenly, the same look of surprise in their eyes. Rinoa trailed behind Laguna happily and smiled when she saw Squall.

"Hey, Squall," she said, taking his arm. "Finished with Ellone?"

He nodded silently, still watching the man before him. "Yeah," he answered, glancing at her for a while. He looked back to Laguna. "You were escorting her?"

Laguna shrugged. "In a sense," he said, uncomfortable with the Squall's inquisitive tone.

"It's... Not really safe for you to go out by yourself," Squall said to her gently.

Rinoa frowned. "It's no big deal," she said, looking at Laguna for support. The older man didn't dare go there, and kept his impartial stance.

Squall shrugged. "I guess not," he replied, with a bit of a grim tone.

"Didn't mean to upset you," she offered.

Squall shook his head. "It's fine." He turned back to Laguna. "Thanks for being with her."

"Oh," Laguna said, scratching the back of his head. "Yeah, it's cool. No problem."

There was an awkward silence between the three of them, and Rinoa cleared her throat. "Well, I'm going to wash up before dinner..."

"I'll come with you," Squall said, a little hastily.

Rinoa nodded, then smiled at Laguna. "See you at dinner," she said.

He nodded. "Yeah. See you there."

The couple turned and left without a word, and Laguna breathed a sigh of relief. He had to admit that he wasn't doing anything to diffuse their strange encounters, but he honestly had no idea how to. He went back in the direction of his room, lost in his own plethora of thoughts.

* * *

Dinner was surprisingly pleasant. The stiffness of the night before was gone, although they'd all thought it would be multiplied by now. But it was obvious, at least to Ellone and Rinoa, that Squall was making an effort to be sociable and pleasant.

Ellone couldn't have been more pleased at how the meal went. She knew that Squall's actions of pleasantry were a sign of his desire to move past all of the bad memories and feelings, however subtle they were. All she could do during the meal was grin happily as she watched them interact. She was proud of them both.

Laguna seemed to enjoy himself as well, even if he could tell Squall's politeness was a little forced. It was the effort that mattered, and he found himself opening up and talking about the past, even cracking a few jokes that made Squall smile - a little. He was pleased with how things went, and he knew Raine would be happy about it. He'd smiled, thinking of her, and of this aspect of his life that was brand new - their son. At first it terrified him, but now he was almost excited about learning about Squall and his life. It was a brand new feeling that was strange, but welcomed. He found himself falling asleep that night with a smile on his face for the first time in years.

Rinoa and Squall had decided to pass on more talks after dinner. They'd both had a long day, and they were eager to be alone once again. Ellone and Laguna were pleased about this as well, promising to make a full day of it tomorrow. Rinoa was excited. Squall was anxious, to say the least.

All of this was very new to him, and it was difficult to handle all of the strange feelings emerging in him. He was used to pushing his emotions aside and thinking critically. Now it seemed he was losing his grip. He was not only beginning to love the people around him, but found himself depending on them, as well. And though it scared him, he knew that he had become an adult, and it was time to face what was in front of him. He was lost in thought as he felt warm lips on his cheek.

He looked down at her and she smiled. "Just wakin' you up," Rinoa said.

Squall shook his head. "Sorry," he said, his normal reaction.

Rinoa shrugged and removed her jacket, lying it on a nearby chair. "Oh, it doesn't bother me," she said, then turned back to him. "But I do like the attention," she winked at him.

He smirked. _Women._

"I bet you're tired," she said.

He nodded. "Actually, I am."

"Me too!" she said, then sighed. "Feels like this day has lasted forever,"

"Yeah, it does," he agreed.

She eyed him for a second, a curious look on her face. "So..." she started, "did you want me to leave? Or..."

He shook his head. "No. Why would I want that?"

She smiled, pleased with his answer. "Oh, no reason."

* * *

Sleep had come easily to Squall that night. His mind was tired. The comfort of a bed and a girl next to him was more than enough to give sleep an edge. It was rare that sleep came so easily to him. A quiet cessation of the thoughts shifting back and forth was exactly what he needed but not always what he got. Incidentally, he always appreciated a deep sleep.

He felt a finger poking at his cheek and he frowned. Having Rinoa around was like having a double-edged sword – sure, she was comforting, but she was also one hell of a distraction.

He sighed. "What," he said.

She laughed and he popped one eye open to look at her. That definitely was not Rinoa's laughter.

~ He sat up, both eyes now open to look around. There was grass beneath him; at least it looked like grass. He ran his fingers through it beside him; it felt like grass. He blinked in his confusion. As his eyes focused, he saw her in the distance.

Raine stood tall, taller than he remembered her being. Besides that, she looked the same way she did in the dream world. Her hair was long and the same hue of brown as his own. Without her usual headband, the strands fell around her face in a style also similar to his own. She wore a long white shirt with jeans and lacked any shoes.

Squall blinked again as his mind compiled the illusory nature of it all. Ellone had said he would see Raine in his dreams - but this wasn't like a dream, this felt real. He looked down at his own clothes. He wore his usual black pants and boots, the plain white t-shirt clinging to his torso.

"Sorry to wake you," Raine interrupted his thoughts. "In a sense," she laughed.

He glanced at her, unable to think of anything to say. He'd never actually talked to her before.

"Don't let it overwhelm you," she said. She bent down and placed her hand on his shoulder. He glanced at her hand – it was solid, it felt real. Then he looked back at her.

She smiled at him. "Sorry - I should have given you more time. This has been a long day for you. But, I just couldn't wait."

She sat down beside him and they stayed there for a while, Squall pondering it all and Raine simply enjoying his presence as she took in the scenery. It was twilight. They were in the same field from Winhill - the field where she had last seen Laguna, the field where she was buried.

"You don't have to say anything," she said, almost reading his mind. She looked over at him and smiled proudly. "I just wanted to see you." She glanced him over and laughed. "Look at you! You're much more handsome in person,"

He let out a cold chuckle at the irony of her statement, and she laughed, too.

Her grin grew wider. "Can I just say how glad I am that you didn't turn out to look much like Laguna?"

He laughed at that, too. Apparently she shared his dry sense of humor. "Yeah, I guess I am, too," he said. "Though, it's hard to hide."

"Psh," she agreed, looking up into the night sky. "I can relate to that!" They watched as the sun finally set, and Raine sighed. "I'll never get tired of it."

He nodded. After a moment, he asked, "so, how does this work?"

"Huh?" she blinked.

He wasn't really sure quite how to express it. "You know... How are you - doing this?"

"Oh," she laughed, a bit embarrassed. "Of course! Well, I suppose the easiest explanation is that my family - Ellone's family - have certain psychic capabilities that few others share."

He nodded. He knew that about Ellone - definitely.

"I never learned how to use my abilities while I was on Earth; I never really had much use for them until I came into this world. So... This is kind of how I use it. But it's not 'real,' in your sense of the word. There's no way for me to communicate with you in your own dimension, so... Well, son, this is the way death works," she laughed. "For me, at least," she corrected.

He smiled at her comment, grim as it was. "Do you visit others?"

"Sometimes," she shrugged. "But... It's not an easy thing to do,"

He was hesitant to ask, but he did anyway. "Do you visit Laguna?"

She took a while to answer, wondering how to put it. "I did, once... But, it didn't work out very well..." She frowned, remembering the event.

"What happened?" he asked before realizing that he was prying.

"That's another story, for another day... But don't worry - I'll pay him a visit soon." She smiled at him again. "I want to hear about you! Tell me about your life."

Squall shrugged. "Don't you already know?"

Raine laughed, then sighed. "Yeah, I guess I do. I was just trying to be polite,"

"It's... A little weird," Squall admitted. "I never knew about you until recently, yet you've been watching me my whole life,"

"In a sense," Raine shrugged.

"It's kind of weird," he restated.

She laughed. "Don't worry - I've always allowed you your privacy."

"…Still weird," he decided.

"You'll find that a lot of things in life, and in death, can be pretty 'weird,'" she explained.

He agreed with that. He thought for a while. "...I have so many things to ask you,"

"Anything you want," she offered. "Where would you like to begin?" She thought of beginning with meeting Laguna, and their story...

"How do I deal with women?" he blurted out.

"Huh?" she blinked. He suddenly reminded her of Laguna and she laughed heartily. "Women?" she repeated. "Well, that's... Kind of a broad topic..."

"I know," he groaned.

"Oh Squall," she laughed, "you get so serious that I sometimes forget how young you still are,"

"Yeah, me too," he admitted.

"Best advice I can give, for such a broad topic, off the top of my head..." She put a finger to her lip, then looked back at him. "Is to follow your heart. Always do what your heart tells you, no matter what your mind thinks. Love travels much deeper than consciousness, and has existed for much longer. So, follow your instinct - it will never lead you astray." She smiled as she looked away. "Your father could give you a good lesson on that one,"

Squall nodded. He had taken the leap a few times and he had persevered through it all. But, he still had questions. "Right. So, how do I deal with them on a day-to-day basis?"

She laughed again. "You may not have your father's looks," she said, "but he's in there somewhere."

Squall rolled his eyes. He couldn't really appreciate the nostalgia seeing as how he'd never been there to experience it. "It's a serious question," he frowned.

"Oh, I know," she giggled at his pout. "Hmm," she hummed, placing her fingers to her lips to think. "I think I can sum it up pretty well. Be polite, considerate, monogamous, and always keep a full bar," she laughed. "That should do it."

He pondered that. "I don't know about that... Doesn't seem complicated enough,"

She shrugged. "Like I said, it's a broad topic." She smiled and placed her hand back onto his shoulder gently. "Don't worry, Rinoa won't give you much trouble."

He scoffed a bit. "You sound so sure,"

Raine nodded. "I am."

"All she's been is trouble," he noted.

"But you like trouble," she winked. "What I meant was, don't worry so much about it. You guys are in love - and like I said, love runs much deeper than material troubles. Trust me."

"...I do," he admitted with surprise in his voice. "I do trust you. I don't know why, but... It's like... I know, deep in my soul, who you are, and that way you say is true."

She smiled at him fondly, fighting back the warm tears in her eyes. "Thanks,"

"Sure," he shrugged.

She placed her hand over his and he didn't pull it away. "Maybe one day, you'll feel that way about Laguna, too." ~

* * *

"Seifer," Edea repeated. "What are you doing here?"

"You gonna let me in, or am I not allowed to play anymore?" Seifer asked, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Of course I'll let you in, Seifer," she said, then narrowed her eyes. "Once you tell me why you're here,"

"Matron," he said, his impatience apparent, "come on. I'm here to talk about what happened. I need help, and you're the one I gotta get it from."

She was obviously still skeptical and Seifer sighed. "So after everything, you're not even gonna acknowledge me?"

Edea shook her head. "No - that's not it at all." She opened the door and motioned from him to enter. "I'm sorry. It's just... It's difficult for me to see you, you know."

He shrugged and entered, uninterested in her emotional guilt. He looked around at the barren building.

"How did you know to find me here?" she asked.

"I knew you weren't in FH. I had a feeling you would want to rebuild," he shrugged. "So this is what you've been up to," he observed, and she nodded.

"Would you care to sit down? I have the fire going and I was just making some tea. I'll get you some." She went toward the kitchen, then stopped. "Are you hungry?"

He wanted to refuse, but he thought of his long journey there and back, and he realized that he would like to eat.

"Yeah," he accepted as he plopped down on the floor. Edea nodded and disappeared into the kitchen.

Seifer took in his surroundings and noticed how much had changed since the last time he was there. It hadn't even been that long ago. With Garden doing so well these days, Cid must have used some of his earnings to fix this place up. Seifer scoffed. It was a lot nicer than we he'd lived there, that's for sure - even if was only half-way finished.

Edea returned with a tray a few minutes later. She placed it down on the coffee table and handed Seifer a cup of tea. He accepted it and sipped eagerly - he'd forgotten about his thirst.

"I made you a couple of peanut butter sandwiches," she said, pointing to the plate. "I hope it's enough. There's not much around here now."

Seifer shrugged, taking a bite out of one of the sandwiches and chewing it patiently.

"It's so strange... Being here, making peanut butter sandwiches for you. It sure does bring back memories," Edea mused.

Seifer swallowed his mouthful and finished his tea. He placed the cup down, interlaced his fingers and leaned on his knees, watching Edea inquisitively.

"What can I do for you, Seifer?" she asked calmly as she refilled his cup.

"I need to ask you some very serious questions - and I need you to answer me honestly," he said.

"My," she breathed. "Sounds important. Of course I'll be honest - ask anything you wish."

He thought for a moment and decided that he would be straightforward. "Are you aware of Squall and Rinoa's plan to become sorceress and knight?"

Edea blinked, surprised by the question. "Yes, I am," she said. "How are you?"

"Not relevant," he claimed. "Do you think that there is a good chance that Ultimecia, one of her predecessors, or some other evil fucking sorceress from some other dimension, will possess Rinoa at some point in the future?"

"Seifer," Edea said, placing down her cup, "what has been troubling you? Are you in danger?"

"Answer me first," he commanded.

"Well..." Edea took a moment to think about it, then sighed softly. "She cannot be possessed by another. The lineage has been destroyed. However, it is possible that, like many others before her, the dark nature of sorcery could take hold..."

"If that were to happen," Seifer continued, "would you or would you not fight against her?"

She placed her hand over her chest in shock. "Seifer, I don't want to fight anybody," Edea breathed.

"You know what I mean," he snapped. "Quit playing games, Matron. Stop trying to protect everyone - tell me the truth."

She sighed again. She reminded herself that Seifer was no longer a child nor was he her puppet. He was not easily persuaded as his own man. "I'm not sure what I would do," she claimed.

"Because this could happen," he assured her. "And if it does, I need to know one thing."

"...What's that?"

He thought for a moment. "Do I have a reason, any in the world, to defeat them? Is there anything I hold so dear that I would be the one to fight, to lead the war against the sorceress? Squall will have to be defeated, you know."

Edea blinked, watching as he spoke such blatant truth without a trace of emotion. She thought of his words. He wanted to know if he had anything in life that mattered enough to fight for, to die for. She frowned. Many things were dear to her. She had many things to live for, to defend. Here he was before her, asking her to give him a reason to feel the same.

"You see, I used to think that serving you was my purpose," he continued. "Although none of it was real, it was still nice to have a sense of determination, to be a part of something big, something that mattered. Now, I have nothing. And it makes me realize that I've never had anything. Nothing is dear to me,"

"Seifer," Edea frowned sadly.

"Only one thing matters to me,"

"What is it?" Edea asked, placing her hand over his, eager to hear.

"Quistis," he answered without hesitation. "...And my friends," he added.

"Quistis?" Edea repeated, somewhat surprised by his answer. She was well aware of their connection, but she hadn't expected him to be so open to it. She leaned back in her seat to observe him – is he really speaking the truth?

He nodded his head in affirmation.

She smiled, suddenly piecing it all together. "You were always fond of her," she said. "And now you've become adults, and you're in love," she sighed. "It's like having a soul mate."

Seifer rolled his eyes. "Yeah, whatever. So here's my question,"

"Oh," Edea said, thinking that he had already asked a lot of questions. She shrugged. "Okay."

"Is it foolish, absurd, and completely ridiculous to let your life have meaning, based on one person? A person other than yourself?" He took a breath.

Edea smiled warmly at him. "Of course not," she answered, also without hesitation.

He waited for her to clarify.

"Seifer, that's what love is - it's about creating something that matters, that has meaning. And, no, it shouldn't be your only form of satisfaction... You should have faith in yourself. But once you open your heart up to love, love for yourself, love for another - other things will come in a little easier, too." She winked. "Trust me."

"It's not like I love her," he rolled his eyes. "I'm just trying to figure out if she's worth the trouble," he claimed.

"Please," Edea waved her hand. "Seifer, you've loved that girl your whole life. You know it, I know it, and she probably knows it, too. The longer you try to deny it, the more it will become like a facade. And, like you said, you want something real, that matters - not something shallow and pointless. Right?"

He shrugged and took another bite off his sandwich.

Edea laughed and shook her head. "Oh well. You're still young. But you'll come around someday." Her eyes narrowed and she leaned in seriously. "But you know, Quistis won't wait around forever for you. Remember that."

"Yeah," he sighed. "I know that." He refused to think about it too much.

"Hey, I'm proud of you," she glowed. "You've found a good love, one that seems to be destined. Not many people get to experience that,"

"That's enough, Matron," he mumbled.

She laughed. "I'm still happy for you, anyway. And I'm glad you came today. As strange as it may sound, I miss our time together, just you and I."

He shrugged off her comment. "The place looks nice," he noted, giving a slight wave of his hand.

"Thanks," she grinned. "We've been working really hard. Perhaps if you'd like to stay, you could help the workers when they arrive in the morning?" She smiled at him hopefully.

Seifer thought for a moment. Although he needed to get back, the thought of a good days labor might do him some good. He nodded in agreement. "Sure."

"Great!" Edea cheered, clapping her hands together and smiling happily.

"You know," he said, after taking a short sip of tea, "I wanted to talk to you about everything that happened. The whole experience," he took another sip. "But, now that I'm here, it seems unnecessary. Why is that?"

Edea shrugged, brushing long black strands of hair over her shoulder. "Maybe... We've reached an understanding - unspoken, perhaps."

Seifer nodded. "Maybe,"

"I can only hope that we've come to understand one another... We experienced it together, and now that it has come to an end, perhaps we both just wish to put it behind us."

"Yeah. I know I do."

She smiled at him. "Me too. I'm glad you came,"

He grinned back at her and stretched his arms out. "You know what, Matron? I am, too."

* * *

Rinoa woke before Squall did that morning. She could hear his heartbeat in his chest and feel the warmth of his body beside her. She smiled as she enjoyed the feeling for a while. She watched his face and admired his features, glad for the chance to be able to do so without him knowing. She laughed at the thought of him knowing that she watched him while he slept - he probably wouldn't be very happy. She sighed and closed her eyes again, wanting to prolong the closeness, but she couldn't help trailing her fingers over his chest.

About an hour later, Rinoa woke again, this time to find his side of the bed cold. She heard the familiar sound of water hitting tile. She wondered if she'd actually woken earlier or if it had been a dream. She couldn't tell in her sleepy state. She yawned and rubbed her eyes. She suddenly thought of a fun idea and jumped out of bed. She opened the bathroom door and stuck her head in.

"Morning!" she shouted.

She heard him jump and she laughed. He poked his head out from behind the curtain. His wet hair stuck to his face and he brushed it away.

"God, Rinoa," Squall said. "What the hell?"

Rinoa laughed harder and he glared at her.

"Ha!" she said. "Now we're even,"

He sighed. "Look, I said I was sorry about that, I wasn't thinking about-"

She held her hand up to silence him and smiled. "You're killing the fun, again, Squall."

"Oh," he said, scratching his chin. It reminded him to shave.

She laughed again and he rolled his eyes. "I'm glad I amuse you," he said.

"So am I," she cooed. "So, can I come in, or what?"

"Don't joke about that," he warned her with a flirtatious grin.

She laughed again and left the bathroom, closing the door behind her.

"Well, that's not very fun," he groaned. He rolled his eyes again and went back to his shower.

He thought about his talk with Raine. They hadn't covered shower attacks - he was beginning to think he'd never really understand Rinoa or her interesting concept of 'fun.'

Squall wrapped a towel around himself and came out of the bathroom. After he closed the door he noticed Rinoa a few feet in from of him. He gulped, surprised to find her so close to him, so suddenly, and in his current state. He tried to think of something to say but she didn't allow him to speak. Her hands moved to his back and neck as she leaned in gently and kissed his lips. She was slow and soft, not wanting to come on too strong. He was surprised with her initiation but he welcomed the feeling of her lips and body against his.

He ran his hands down her waist, feeling the curves of her body, pleased with every inch. Her hands moved down his chest as well and back up, deciding to rest on his neck. She looked into his eyes, wondering if she should proceed. She watched him lick his lips and she smiled wickedly. She pressed her lips against his again, furiously this time, making him take a step back. He felt a rush of excitement over her sudden aggression. It reminded him of a good fight, and he knew how to rumble.

He slowly pulled her head back by her hair and took his mouth to her exposed neck. He grabbed at her breasts. Her nails skid across the back of his shoulders as she moaned. She grabbed at his towel but he threw her hand aside and pulled off her shirt instead. Their lips met again as his hands fumbled with her bra. He tossed it aside and covered her breasts with his hands. She gasped at the contact and gripped his biceps, enjoying how his muscles felt beneath her fingertips.

His mouth moved back down her neck and he felt another pull of arousal as he inched closer to her chest. She pushed him away and pinned his back against the wall. He pulled her back against him, his hands sliding down her back as she explored his neck and chest with her lips. She tugged at the towel again and again he stopped her. She got the hint and pulled her own shorts off, and he grinned. She heard him growl when their lips met. She finally pulled the towel away and wrapped her hand around him. He moaned and she caught it with her lips. He lifted her up, then pushed her down onto the bed and climbed on top of her.

His hands moved down her stomach and he tugged at the lining of her panties. She gasped as his hand went underneath them and began to touch her. He grew harder at the feeling of her wetness on his fingers and he placed his mouth on hers as he explored her. She moaned deep in her throat and grabbed his erection again, moving her hand up and down with his rhythm. He groaned too and quickened his pace.

"Rinoa," he said in her ear and she felt herself almost climax. Before she could, he moved down her body, his lips leaving a trail along the way, and without any hesitation he placed his mouth over her lower lips.

She gasped, arching her hips, shocked at the sudden contact. He slowed their aggressive pace, lazily licking, nipping and kissing her.

She cried out at this sensation she had never had the pleasure of knowing. Every movement of his tongue made her shudder.

"Squall," she breathed.

"Do it," he said. His command was enough to push her over the edge, and with a final stroke, her back arched and she cried out his name, feeling the shock-wave of the orgasm electrify her body.

He slowly returned to her, waiting for her to recover. When she did, she smiled at him.

"Wow," she said. She ran her hands through his hair slowly.

"Rinoa," he said after a while, and she slowly came out of her daze.

"Yeah?"

"I, um..." He wasn't sure exactly how to say it. His confidence from a few moments ago seemed to be dwindling, his reluctance steadily returning. He took a breath and decided to man up. "I got protection," he said.

Rinoa blinked. "Oh," she breathed as she realized what he was saying. She blushed despite herself, as she was pleased that he was so interested.

"Oh," she repeated, slyly this time. "So... You want to... Now?"

He wasn't sure how to answer that. He thought saying 'yeah,' might have been a bit inconsiderate. Saying 'maybe,' would be a little strange, and saying 'no' would not only be rude, but the opposite of the truth.

"Kind of," he went with, hating how pitiful it sounded. "I mean, if you're okay with that,"

She giggled. "Of course I'm... 'Okay' with it. But, I just kinda thought, well... That our first time might be a little more..." He waited for her to finish, and she wished he'd already known what she was trying to say. But she wasn't surprised - that was Squall for you. She sighed.

"Let's wait, just a little longer," she settled with. He nodded, though he couldn't hide the slight disappointment on his face. "Oh, don't worry," she cooed, "I'll still take care of you,"

He grinned at her words, and more than obliged when she turned him over and climbed on top of him. She moved her mouth down his neck and chest, then down to his waist, and he felt himself shutter with anticipation. He hadn't expected for her to reciprocate this way. Her hands moved down his legs and he closed his eyes and took a breath.


	13. The Esthar Experience

The next evening, Edea stood with Seifer on the stoop. "Seifer, are you sure you don't want to stay one more night?" Edea asked. "I won't make you work," she laughed.

He shook his head, his arms locked over his chest. "Sorry, Matron," he said. "I've got a ship to catch," his thumb pointed toward the shore.

She nodded hesitantly. "At least allow me to escort you," she offered.

"And go back by yourself?" he said, raising a brow.

Edea frowned, knowing that Seifer would do what Seifer wanted to do. She sighed, then nodded in acceptance. "Please be careful," she asked.

He nodded, then turned to leave.

"Seifer," she said, and he stopped. "Come back and see me soon... Okay?"

"Sure," he said with a wave of his hand, and he began his long journey into the distance.

Edea felt a pit forming in her stomach as she watched him. She wondered if that was the last time she'd ever see him alive. She shook off the notion, labeling it as pure paranoia brought on by his phantom scenarios. _Of course I'll see him again - and soon, hopefully_. She watched until his figure completely disappeared into the dark and closed the door behind her.

A few hours later, Seifer was on the deck of a ship, the wind brushing past him and his eyes closed as he contemplated quietly. His journey was a long one and he had plenty of time to think. He'd thought over his own trials for years, and now it seemed the trials of others were working their way under his skin.

In the beginning, when Quistis told him about Squall and Rinoa, he hadn't cared one bit. In fact, it was amusing. Worst case scenario? She ends up possessed. Seifer could fight her and Squall if he had to. Though deep down they were endeared to him, he wouldn't deny the challenge to defeat Squall in battle and rid the world of another sorceress. Or, he could just sit by, have a beer and watch as the world fell to pieces before him. He'd be okay with that, too.

But now, he felt entirely different. With Quistis under his protection, he couldn't exactly sit by and watch as the world turned to rubble; he'd have to fight. But therein lay the problem - Quistis was especially close with both Squall and Rinoa. It would be hard to get her on his side or inflict upon her so much pain. She would also be concerned for his safety, and probably wouldn't want him to fight.

This is why he wondered if his relationship with Quistis had been the wisest decision. He certainly wanted it, he craved it - but would she give him an obligation to fight, while also giving him one not to? He wondered which result would make Quistis happy. He sighed, as he realized that was all he really wanted. He wanted her to be happy, and he wanted to be there with her while she was.

He smirked, thinking of what Matron had said. He had loved Quistis his whole life - it just took a few encounters to remind him of it.

Seifer's moment of reflection was interrupted by the ominous and repetitive warning in the back of his mind. Being together was dangerous for the both of them. Did he really have the strength to pull it off? Did he love her enough to look beyond the present obstacles and see the future?

His eyes opened, and he squinted at the salty wind. He'd decided - he would keep playing their relationship by ear for now. And when the time came, he would fight for her, whether she liked it or not. He just hoped that she would.

* * *

After breakfast with the others, Rinoa decided to spend some time with Ellone. Most of Squall's afternoon had been uneventful, and he wasn't expecting her back until evening. He made a few phone calls to Garden and did some work here and there, but he was surprised to find how little work there was to do.

After a while he'd decided he'd work out for a bit. That ate up some time, and he zoned out to his music while he did. It wasn't common knowledge, but Squall did enjoy music. He didn't think he'd liked what was considered 'conventional,' though, so he mostly kept his musical attraction to himself. He'd toweled off and headed back to his room, half expecting to find Rinoa in the hallway, as he seemed to often do.

He showered off and his mind wandered to the events earlier in the day. He grinned to himself and felt a little foolish for doing so, but he couldn't help it. He found his mind constantly focusing on his girlfriend, and as much as he enjoyed the thoughts, he knew he should shake them off and focus. It was hard to control the effect of his raging hormones, but it had to be done. He reminded himself – more than once – that sex wasn't everything. He had other things to do.

He dressed himself in dark jeans and a long-sleeved black shirt, deciding it was warm enough to cut down on his regular apparel. He laced up his boots and ran his hand through his damp hair. He knew there were some things he had to take care of, but it was hard finding the motivation to do so. He sighed, deciding it was better to go ahead and get it over with so he could get on with his life - again. He grabbed a notepad and a pen from his bag and left the room.

* * *

Laguna heard the knock at his door and he jumped a bit. In his dozen or so years of working in that office, he wondered if he'd ever get used to that damn noise. He chuckled, slightly amused with himself, then sighed and put on his professional face.

"Come in," he offered.

Squall entered, closing the door silently behind him.

Laguna blinked. This was unexpected. "Hey, Squall," he said. "What's up?"

"I came to discuss a few things with you. Do you have time?" Squall asked.

"Oh, yeah, of course," Laguna said, pushing the papers on his desk aside in a messy pile. Squall noticed the unorganized condition of his office and he almost shuttered.

"Have a seat," Laguna gestured toward the seat in front of him, and Squall accepted. He placed the notepad and pen on the desk in front of him, then leaned back comfortably in his chair. The two didn't say anything for a while, and Laguna wondered if this was going to be like an interrogation.

He scratched the back of his head nervously. "So, what can I do for you, Squall?"

"I wanted to take notes on the Ragnarok project, to bring back to Garden," Squall explained.

"Oh," Laguna said. He figured he shouldn't be surprised - Squall was all about his work. "Yeah, sure."

"I also wanted to discuss personal matters," Squall said, his arms crossed over his chest.

 _Discuss personal matters? Man, this guy is so serious_ , Laguna thought. _He scares me the way Raine did._

"Of course," he nodded. He looked down at the notepad. "You're not going to take notes on that, are you?"

Squall smirked, and Laguna smirked with him. "Nah, it's cool," Squall waved his hand. "Never was a good note-taker, anyway."

"Sure you weren't," Laguna rolled his eyes dubiously. "So, where do we begin?"

Squall thought of how to express himself. He thought carefully, and for a while, and Laguna twiddled his thumbs while he waited.

"I suppose I'll start by informing you that Raine visited me in my dreams last night. You are aware of her ability to do this," Squall began.

"Oh," Laguna realized. _So Raine has already visited him._ He was almost jealous. It had been so long ago when she had visited his dreams, but he still remembered it painfully clear.

"Yes," he affirmed, offering no other details on the subject.

"And after speaking with her and Ellone, and after doing a lot of thinking - a lot -" he stressed, "I have decided that I would like to accept you and Ellone as family."

It sounded like he'd just gotten a job offer or something, but Laguna was still pleased. "That's great!" He smiled. "Hey - now we can do, like, holidays and stuff!"

"No offense, but that's not really my forte," Squall shrugged.

"Oh. Yeah, well, I know what you mean," Laguna agreed. He'd never been much for celebration lately, anyway. "But maybe that'll change for both of us," he said hopefully.

"Maybe," Squall humored him. "But I wouldn't hold my breath."

Laguna laughed, then shrugged. "Whatever works. Hey, Squall..." He looked away shyly. "I'm glad you made this decision. I know it wasn't easy." Then he smiled at him. "And I'm glad you got to meet Raine. She's really cool."

"Don't think much of it," Squall waved his hand. "She said she'll see you soon, too," he added.

"Me?" Laguna said. "...Wow," he breathed. "She said that? To you?"

Squall nodded again. "Yeah."

"...Did she say when?"

"No."

Laguna stood from his seat and leaned his hands on his desk. "Well what else did she say?"

"Not much,"

"Did she talk about me?"

"A little bit,"

"She didn't say anything bad about me, did she?"

"Well, no,"

"And she said she was coming to see me, in my dreams?"

"Yes."

"She said this, to you,"

"Yeah. It's not that compli-"

"Did she say anything about the last time we had a little visit?"

"No, but why would she..."

"You know, this is just like her," Laguna huffed, throwing his arm out. "'Let me just pop in and out of people's lives without a care in the otherworld.' You know what? She always said that about me, but now look who's talkin'! At least I had a purpose in leaving..."

"...Okay,"

"And, of course, of course she'd come around at a time like this. As if my life weren't already complicated enough,"

"…Sure..."

"What am I supposed to say to her, anyway? What does she want from me?"

"How should I know?" Squall shrugged.

"I mean, it has to be something…"

Squall lifted his hands in protest. "Okay... You're weirding me out now."

Laguna took a breath and sighed. "Sorry about that," he said and sat back down. "It's just that... She gets me a little crazy - you know what I mean?"

Squall blinked. "Actually, yeah, I do."

"Women," Laguna rolled his eyes.

"Women," Squall repeated, and they laughed.

"Can't live with 'em, can't-"

Squall held up his hand. "Yeah. I get it."

"Right," Laguna scratched his head, and thought for a while. "Well... Enough about Raine. I think you and I will get along great. So, does this mean that, if you get married or something, I get to come to the wedding?"

Squall shrugged. "Sure," he said. "I wouldn't hold your breath on that one, either."

Laguna laughed. "May be great if that were true, but you're from a family full of romantics. Gotta face facts." Squall rolled his eyes. "I heard you even jumped into space-"

"Yeah, well," Squall interrupted, "it's not like it was that big of a deal. It wasn't like it was my first time in space, anyway..."

"I thought it was," Laguna pondered.

"I did what was necessary, and that's all there is to it," Squall defended, unaware of the underlying romantic implication of what he'd said.

"Okay, okay," Laguna laughed in acceptance. _Leave the kid his pride._ "So, now what?"

Squall shrugged. "We'll be in contact for the project, so we can discuss any personal relations as well."

"'Personal relations?'" Laguna mimicked. "Squall, sometimes you sound like a computer. Are you aware of that?"

"Yes," Squall affirmed.

Laguna shrugged. "Whatever works," he said again. "So, then, we'll be in touch." Squall nodded. "You know Ellone likes to see you. Try to visit her often, if you can."

Squall nodded again. A moment passed, and there was a mutual understanding between them, an unspoken connection. Laguna tried to conceal his approval, and deep down, Squall did a little, too.

"So... Wanna talk Centra?" Laguna asked.

Squall eagerly grabbed the pen.

* * *

Rinoa laughed, opening her eyes. "That was great," she said. "What a great day that was. I'd almost forgotten about it,"

"Really?" Ellone smiled. "It was quite easy to access - a very familiar memory,"

"Strange," Rinoa thought, her finger on her lips.

"I really like Julia," Ellone said after a moment, her eyes on her hands in her lap.

Rinoa nodded in agreement. "Yeah. She was a lot of fun. I don't know if I'll ever stop missing her."

"I know what you mean," Ellone said, offering her a weak smile. "Losing a parent is hard."

Rinoa nodded in silent agreement, and smiled back.

"I like Julia," Ellone repeated, "because she reminds me of my mother."

"Your mother?" Rinoa asked.

Ellone nodded. "Yeah. They were a lot alike - even kind of looked the same. Though, my mother was much older,"

"I didn't know you knew her," Rinoa said.

"Oh," Ellone realized. "My mother is Raine's sister. She died when I was four, and I was placed in Raine's care."

Rinoa blinked. "So... You and Squall are actually cousins," she noted.

Ellone nodded. "Yeah. Although I care deeply for Raine, I wasn't with her for very long, so... I never really got to think of her as my mother."

"Sure," Rinoa understood.

"And Laguna came along almost a year later," Ellone continued. "He was a lot of fun, unlike my mom or my aunt. He reminded me of my dad. So, that's how I ended up spending so much time with him. I've always felt guilty about favoring him over Raine, but... I'm sure she understood,"

Rinoa nodded. "Of course."

"Oh, but I've gone completely off-topic," Ellone laughed. "I was just saying, it's always a pleasure to see Julia. And it's a special pleasure of mine to watch the way Laguna acts around her."

Rinoa giggled. "Yeah... That is pretty good."

The girls laughed, then fell into a comfortable silence. Both were concerned with their own thoughts, which Ellone was particularly accustomed to. It wasn't surprising that Rinoa was the first to break the silence after a while.

"I wonder what Squall's doing," she pondered aloud, absentmindedly.

Ellone shrugged. "I always wonder. But it never helps,"

Rinoa giggled. She'd had no idea Ellone had such a sense of humor, and she was becoming quite fond of her. "I just hope he's doing alright," she shrugged.

"Actually," Ellone said, her finger on her lip, "he's doing surprisingly well. I mean, really. It's barely been twenty-four hours, and when I saw him earlier today, he looked better than he has in ages,"

Rinoa hid the blush on her face by scratching her nose. "He's probably just relieved, that's all. You know, it's tough having all of those questions,"

"I guess so," Ellone replied.

"And you know, he's been goin' through a lot for the past year... I guess it's not hard for him to pile on even more!"

"That's for sure,"

"His good mood could have been caused by anything. Probably from grading exam papers and failing students, or seeing some shiny metal,"

"Could be..."

"It's probably a culmination of things,"

"Right," Ellone said, hesitant at Rinoa's sudden sense of urgency. "...Anyway, whatever it is, it's working."

"Good to know," Rinoa commented, and Ellone eyed her strangely. "You know, assuming I did know," Rinoa explained.

Ellone laughed. "You guys are too funny," she shook her head. Before Rinoa could pretend to not know what she meant, Ellone stood from the bench. "I have to rest my mind for a while. But I'll see you tonight?"

"Sure," Rinoa nodded. Ellone smiled and waved goodbye.

Rinoa hopped up from bench and happily headed back down the hall toward her room. She decided that so far, this had been a good day.

* * *

There was a knock at the door and they both jumped. Laguna glanced at the clock and realized they'd been discussing the project for over an hour. He scratched the back of his head nervously.

"'Scuse me, just a second," he said. Squall nodded. "Come in," Laguna called. "Oh, hey!" he said as she entered the room.

She shut the door and smiled. "Hey!"

Squall turned to see her. She smiled at him, and he felt himself fighting a slight blush. She was wearing a short blue dress that day and he didn't mind observing her in it. Her dark hair brushed her shoulders, and he thought of how it felt between his fingers. He turned back to the desk. She'd been there not even a minute, and he was already distracted.

"Hope I'm not interrupting," Rinoa said.

"No, no, it's cool," Laguna said. "You wanna have a seat?"

"Sure," she shrugged, and pulled a chair up next to Squall. He cleared his throat nervously.

"What'cha workin' on?" she asked as she looked over the sketches and notes.

"The Centra project. You know, the one we talked about during dinner a few nights ago," Laguna explained.

"Oh yeah," she blinked. She gave the men a big grin. "Wow! This looks like a big job,"

"It is - in every sense of both words," Laguna said, feeling clever at his lyrical humor, though no one else seemed to notice.

"Good thing you picked Squall for it – I'm not sure if anyone else could pull this off," she praised. She nudged his arm softly and Squall found himself scratching the back of his head.

 _You looked at the plans for a second…_ Squall scolded, furrowing his brow.

"Exactly what I was thinking," Laguna cooed, amused by her flirtation, and especially by his son's discomfort. He wondered if this was how Kiros and Ward felt when they watched him talk to girls. _I hope not…_

"Well, I don't want to bother you," she said as she stood from her seat. "Just wanted to check in. I'm heading back to my room. See you guys at dinner?"

"Yeah, of course," Laguna said, closing the folder in front of him. "Go on ahead with her, Squall. We've done enough for today - we can talk more later."

Squall nodded and stood by Rinoa's side, taking his legal pad with him.

"Bye! Thanks for the boy," Rinoa latched onto Squall's arm and waved as they turned to go. Squall sighed under his breath.

Laguna waved back and laughed. "Yeah. See ya,"

"So, where are we going?" Rinoa asked Squall after they were in the hallway.

"I thought you wanted to go back to the room," Squall raised a brow.

She shrugged. "We could do that. We could do anything! We've got time. Maybe you'd like to see some sights? Get some fresh air?"

"No thanks," he rolled his eyes.

Rinoa giggled. "You're so lame."

"I've been told that," Squall said.

"That art museum was kind of cool," she offered.

"Not really."

She laughed again, then put her finger to her lip and thought. "Hey," she said. "We could go train for a little bit. I haven't had a good work-out in a few days - I could use it."

He sighed. "I already trained today,"

"What? Without me?" she pouted.

"Well, I mean," he stuttered, "you were busy, and I was bored, so,"

"Come on," Rinoa said, "don't be such a baby! You can train twice in one day. Or has the mighty Squall finally succumbed to old age?"

He grinned at her. "Watch it," he huffed. "Fine. We'll go."

"You can just stand there, and I can throw some magic at ya," she suggested.

"You really wanna get your ass beat, don't you?" he asked, giving her an interested look.

She laughed. "By you? Any day!" She laughed harder as he blushed.

* * *

"Come on, Squall," Rinoa said, her hands on her hips "you can do better than that. Stop going so easy on me!"

"What?" Squall shrugged. "I'm not gonna hurt you,"

"Keep it up and you won't," she diced. She went back into her ready position, clenching the handle of her circular blade and narrowing her eyes. The corner of her lip curled.

He casually rested his hand on his waist as he observed her taunting glare. He raised a brow. "You look pretty tough," he smirked.

"Try me," she dared.

Squall raised his blade, and his casual demeanor disappeared. His eyes narrowed as he put on his battle face.

"And Squall," she said, "do give me a challenge this time."

He gave her a short nod before he charged. His blade scratched on the ground at his side and he sliced upward, the same move he'd used to scar Seifer so long ago. Rinoa was taken aback by his speed and jumped back a step, but the blade still came closer. She created a small tunnel of wind in her hand and launched it at the blade, knocking it inches away from her face. She took a quick breath and jumped to her left as he came back at her with a counter attack. She ginned - this was the kind of fighting she'd been waiting for.

He came at her again and she stopped his blade with her own. The gunblade pressed down hard, right above her wrist, and she knew she wouldn't be able to overpower him. She thought for a moment about how to turn the tables, then landed a rough side kick into his abdomen, forcing him back. He coughed as the wind rushed out of him. He wiped his lips with the back of his hand.

"Bad move," he assured her.

His tone made her heart skip a beat. _He wouldn't really do too much damage to me, even if I asked him to... Right?_ She went back into her ready position and waited for his next move. He didn't make one, so she charged this time. She leapt into the air and pulled her leg back. She landed another solid kick to his side. When she brought her other leg up for the second part of kick, aimed for his head, she felt cold leather grip around her ankle.

She gulped. _Uh-oh,_

She felt her body swing toward the wall as he tossed her like a ragdoll. She didn't have enough room to stop herself so she braced for impact. She hit the wall with a hard thud, leaving an impressive dent, and fell to the floor. Her body tensed from the pain and winced. She coughed and waved the dust from her face. She pulled herself to her knees, then to her feet.

He lifted his blade. "Want more?" he taunted.

She smirked, and got back into the ready position. "You know I do," she teased, somehow hoping that he'd be distracted by her trifle. She heard a shot exploding from the barrel and barely had time to cast a protect spell to stop it. She opened her eyes and watched as the bullet hovered before her, then innocently dropped to the ground.

 _Holy CRAP,_ she thought as she tried to calm her skipping heart. "Whew!" she sighed. She glared at him.

"Squall! You _shot_ at me!" she screeched.

He shrugged. "I knew you'd dodge it,"

"Well what if I _didn't_?" she huffed.

"But you did," he noted calmly, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Squall - Leonhart -" she hissed, "you are playing too rough! You could hurt somebody - somebody meaning _me_!" She pointed to herself.

"Fine, geeze," he said, holding up his hands. "More or less - make up your mind already,"

Her brow furrowed. "You think you're so tough, huh?" She pointed at him. "Beating up on girls - shame on you."

He rolled his eyes. "Yes, shame on me. Somebody should have tried to stop me. What kind of idiot would let something like that happen?"

She threw a small chunk of wall at him and he dodged it easily with a laugh.

"Come on," she said, "let's get out of here. I'm beat."

"You are," he agreed, nodding his head.

"You sure got me good on that wall," she commented, rubbing her side.

He decided to ignore the innuendo in that statement. "Sorry about that," he said. "You okay?"

"No!" she whined, and they laughed.

The picked up their bags and Rinoa toweled off her face. "I still can't believe you shot at me," she grumbled.

"Oh come on," he said, "you act like it's the first time you've been shot at."

She rolled her eyes, once again surprised by the life she lived. But she had to admit, it was true. "Kind of a serious risk to take, don't you think?" Her eyes narrowed.

"Sorry," he mumbled.

She giggled at his guilt, finding it endearing. She took his arm and smiled at him. "Don't be - it'll be a good story."

"You did ask for it," he noted.

"I guess so," she decided. "I'll have to keep an eye on you from now on."

"It would be wise."

"Sure am glad you're on my side," she laughed.

He nodded. "Better be."

* * *

Rinoa spent her last few days in Esthar with Ellone. She'd wanted the opportunity to spend some time with Laguna, but he and Squall had been tied up with whatever it was they were doing. She was glad they had an opportunity to spend some time together, but she'd be lying if she didn't admit she was growing restless. She was eager to get to Timber and Esthar, in all its glory, was boring the hell out of her.

Ellone had left for her afternoon nap, so Rinoa spent some time traversing the presidential library. There was an insane amount of books, and though some of the fiction books peaked her interest, she decided to be responsible and read the book Edea had given her.

She satisfied her curiosity of spell casting by flipping through random pages and discovering the intended effect of the various spells. Spell casting was different than the general manipulation of magic in that it allowed the caster to harness the magic of the universe without the requirements of gods or guardian forces as a junction. This made Rinoa realize that, essentially, she had become a vessel between the physical and the metaphysical herself. In a way, this had placed her on the same level of significance as the guardian forces.

She shut the book and shook her head at herself. She refused to lack the humility to think such a thing. The guardian forces provided power and abilities beyond any tangible measure.

 _There's no way I'm that profound, or that powerful._

Rinoa opened the book again and lazily flipped the pages.

 _The spells suggest otherwise._

She chewed her lip.

 _I'm also a descendant of Hyne. I have the ability to cast magic without the use of a guardian force... It's the same thing, really._

She scoffed and rolled her eyes at herself.

 _That kind of thinking is dangerous, and it's not true._

She decided to find the spell she was looking for instead of perusing through spells that tempted her to build evidence in the case for herself. She found a binding spell, and discovered its purpose was to paralyze a spirit. She found another that promised to irreversibly bind spirits together for eternity. Both made her feel uneasy.

 _We're made to be singular creatures... We leave this world alone... Is it really wise of me to make such a commitment? Regardless of how I feel about Squall... This kind of power could destroy our lives, and, more importantly, our souls..._

She went to close the book again, but stopped herself.

 _I don't know nearly enough about this to feel comfortable doing it... But... I won't learn anything if I refuse to._

Rinoa found the correct spell, and was intimidated to find that, in comparison with the other spells, it was longer and seemed more intricate. It occupied two pages of the small book, which was a significant length. She sighed.

 _Come on... You were brave enough to take up arms against Galbadia, against your own father. You took on these powers. You helped specially trained warriors defeat the most powerful sorceress ever known. You can handle this._

Her internal pep talk made her feel a little better. She hoped that, with time, she could bury her insecurities deep enough that they couldn't impede her ability to go after the things the wanted, or the things she needed to do.

Rinoa's mentation was broken by the approach of Kiros and Ward. She stood to meet them, and offered a winning smile.

"Hey there," she said. "Taking a break from advisory?"

"We do what we can," Kiros said, returning her smile. Ward nodded with a knowing glance. "Besides," he continued, "not much we can do while Laguna is locked in his office with Squall all day."

"I can relate to that," Rinoa laughed.

"Care to take a spin around the city?" Kiros raised a brow.

"Sure," Rinoa agreed. She was excited to finally get a good look at the city, and there was something about the odd pair that intrigued her. She was interested in getting to know these two characters more.

Ward offered her his arm, and she accepted.

"Our first destination will be the new lounge that opened by the airway," Kiros said, and Ward nodded.

"Lounge?" Rinoa put a finger to her lip. "...Are you guys using me as an excuse to get out of here and go drinking?" She placed her free hand on her hip.

Ward made a scoffing noise and rolled his eyes.

Kiros shook his head. "That's crazy talk,"

"...Is it, though? Really?" Rinoa raised a brow.

Kiros and Ward looked at one another, then back at her. "...They have over one hundred types of whiskey..."

"Alright," Rinoa nodded, "but you guys are buying."

"Fair enough," Kiros shrugged.


	14. Reunion

Squall tapped his pen on the pad as he mulled over the details. The Centra colonization plan was a larger job than he'd anticipated. There was no way he'd be able to handle even a small role in the project along with his duties at Garden.

 _I could step down as Commander... Regardless, I'll have to assemble a team. There will have to be someone who can relay in between Garden and Esthar... Then the amount of work versus the value of the Ragnarok, minus maintenance and upkeep..._

"Squall," Laguna said, interrupting his train of thought. Squall looked up. "You've been sitting there in silence for a solid five minutes now."

"Sorry," Squall apologized reflexively. "Habit."

"Well, I'm glad you're considering everything so studiously," Laguna grinned. "But, listen, there's a few more things I want to go over with you... I don't wanna overload you or anything, but the information pertains to you, Garden, and the project."

Squall shrugged. "Sounds like something I should hear, then."

Laguna nodded, shifted through the various papers on his desk, and gathered five different papers in his hands.

"You should really learn how to organize," Squall told him.

"Ha!" Laguna laughed. Squall raised a brow. Laguna shook his head. "Sorry, not to dismiss you or anything... It's just, you know, people have been telling me that my entire life." He shrugged, holding the various papers up. "Never really happened. Not likely to soon."

Squall lifted his hand. "Whatever works for you."

Laguna gave him a nod. He took a breath and looked over the first slip of paper. "Okay. Because of the recent Siege of Esthar and the Lunar Cry, we've already placed some members of SeeD under employment."

Squall nodded. He was aware of the fact.

"To be honest, a big part of the colonization project is to deter attention away from Galbadia," Laguna scratched the back of his head. "Estharians are pretty pissed about what happened. It's tough dealing with foreign involvement after nearly 18 years of isolation... Needless to say, I'm taking a lot of heat for it."

He sighed before continuing. "As I mentioned, 'President' tends to be a bit more of a figure-head position, though I've been trying to use my influence to stay involved in the important matters. The problem I'm facing now, is the citizenry overwhelmingly supports parliament in the desire to use SeeD for more than monster cleanup. They want to organize our troops and, along with SeeD aid, initiate war with Galbadia."

Squall shook his head. "Why? Galbadia is under martial law. Their president is dead. Winhill and Dollet want no involvement in Galbadian affairs. SeeD is heading to Timber soon to support the right of revolution. They're likely to become an independent state." Again he shook his head. "What good with it do to go to war with Galbadia? And to what end?"

"My thoughts exactly," Laguna agreed. "Unfortunately, they see it as an opportune time to launch an attack. As to what they plan to do in the event of victory, I doubt there has been very much planning at all. It seems they're perfectly satisfied just to watch Galbadia burn and quietly return their attention back to Esthar." Laguna ran his fingers along his jaw. "As a self-sustaining nation, we have little quarrels with the loss of life, business or profit. It seems to be... More of a symbolic measure." Laguna nodded, convincing himself of the fact. "Esthar's stature is going to the people's heads. It was easy to keep an advanced nation complacent when our borders were sealed and things were good... But the citizenry is growing paranoid, and the government is happily contributing to that paranoia."

"War is costly," Squall said. "If Esthar has nothing to gain, why would they go to the trouble?"

"Herein lies the problem..." Laguna bit the inside of his cheek. "They won't tell me. And I'm afraid there's not much I can do to stop it. They could easily replace me, then I'd have absolutely no say in what happens." He sighed. "I'm doing my best to publicize my opinion on the matter. I have proposed that we open our borders, but focus on expanding into Centra instead of getting involved with Galbadia any further. I have promised to promote the increase of military spending, but only if it's maintained for defense. However, parliament reserves the right to declare war... So, again, there isn't much I can do..." He shook his head. "The people cannot seem to move past the sordid history between Esthar and Galbadia, especially when war is fresh on their minds."

Squall thought for a moment. "That's quite the dilemma," he said, stroking his chin.

Laguna nodded in agreement. "Tell me about it." He reached for his bangs and took a handful, showing them to Squall. "See these grey hairs?"

Squall gave him an awkward nod of acknowledgement at his hair.

Laguna released his hair and continued. "Obviously, SeeD isn't expected to be involved in the process as outside hires, so that information doesn't necessarily pertain to you. But I'm sure you'd like to know, anyway."

Squall nodded. "I would."

"We'll be in touch with Garden and feed you updates," he promised. He threw that paper aside and took a different piece of paper. He looked over it carefully. "This is something that concerns you, more, personally."

Squall crossed his arms over his chest. "And that is?"

Laguna met his eyes for a moment, looked at the paper, then back again. "I've allocated sizable funding to maintain Doctor Odine's laboratory and finance his studies." Laguna laced his fingers together and leaned on the desk. "In addition to continuing his many inventions, Odine is expected to research..."

 _How do I say this...?_

"A solution to... What to do about Rinoa."

"What to _do_ about her?" Squall repeated. _I don't like the sound of that..._

Laguna grimaced. _Didn't word that correctly... But, really, how could I?_

"I've informed him that sealing is not an option at this point in time, and have urged him to come up with something better."

Squall released his arms and leaned on the desk as well, mirroring Laguna's body language. "What makes you think a solution needs to be found?"

Laguna shook his head. "Squall, I adore Rinoa," he placed his hand on his chest to communicate his sincerity. "And obviously, you do too. I understand, and I'm only looking out for her safety and best interests."

"Laguna," Squall pressed, ignoring his sentiments, "what exactly are you planning?"

"Squall," Laguna repeated, "Rinoa is a sorceress. You understand what that means... There's always the potential for danger."

"What, exactly," Squall repeated, "are you planning?"

"There's no definitive solution as of yet," Laguna said, "but, you should be aware that Odine is working on it."

"Rinoa is none of your concern," Squall told him, a dangerous look brewing in his eyes.

"Of course she is, Squall," Laguna said with a frown. He hated that this bridge was between him, but Esthar was the only nation with the ability to potentially solve the dilemma. "Esthar has the technology."

"No," Squall said. "Garden is responsible for Rinoa."

"Squall, please," Laguna said, rubbing his temples. "Garden is under contract with Rinoa. But you know as well as I what Cid and Edea Kramer designed Garden for," he shook his head. "And it wasn't to protect the sorceress."

"I know exactly what Garden was planned for," Squall argue. _I'm the one who gave them the idea, for fucks sake._ "And although that was Garden's purpose before the war, it does not mean that our goals and structure cannot change to meet new developments." He scoffed. "Look at Edea Kramer. She _is_ a sorceress, and she _is_ Garden."

"Yes, in times of peace," Laguna agreed. "But, should those times become threatened-"

"They won't," Squall said.

Laguna sighed. "...Squall, you cannot let your feelings for Rinoa affect your judgement."

"Like hell I can't," he said, shooting up from his chair. "I'm the reason this cesspool of a world is even here. I'm the reason that you and Odine get to keep breathing."

Laguna blinked. "Squall..."

Squall threw out his arm. "Did you forget? Because you were the one who _hired_ me in the first place to take on the most dangerous job in recent history, were you not?"

Laguna was stunned by his words and had absolutely nothing to say in response.

 _This kind of arrogance and narrow-mindedness... Is dangerous._ Laguna bit his cheek. _Paired with a well-trained sorceress...?_

"Can I ask you something?" Laguna said.

Squall gave no response but waited, signaling his consent.

"Let's say, worst-case scenario goes down," Laguna said. "Rinoa is compromised." He stood to meet Squall, having barely an inch of height difference between them. "SeeD is hired to assassinate the sorceress." He lifted his chin at his son. "Who do you side with?"

"...It won't happen," Squall told him.

"Hypothetically," Laguna said. Growing skeptical of his intentions, Laguna's gaze began to match the determination of Squall's. "You know it's a question you have to answer, whether it happens or not. Cid was able to make that sacrifice. Are you?"

Squall lost the staring contest as he looked away, knowing he'd been bested.

 _He's right. I know he's right. But I don't know what to do about it, anymore than anyone else does._

"...I have to protect her," Squall admitted, his voice barely above a whisper. He looked back up to meet his father's eyes, his own eyes betraying the turmoil he felt. "...I'm her knight."

Laguna noticed his inner conflict and reflexively gave him a sympathetic look, but he quickly corrected himself.

 _I'm sure the last thing he wants is pity..._

Laguna crossed his arms over his chest and thought for a moment. He knew about knights from old war stories and from studying up for the film he starred in. He knew they meant trouble for anyone going up against the sorceress. Then he remembered what Edea Kramer had told him many years ago.

He looked back up at Squall and uncrossed his arms. "...You... Completed the ritual...?"

Squall looked away again. "Yes," he lied.

He knew he'd go through with it regardless of what was said or anything that happened. He promised her, and he would never dishonor himself nor her by going back on his word, even if it meant losing everything else he'd spent his life building.

 _None of it really matters to me, anyway..._

"I see," Laguna nodded. "I'll keep that in mind when I review Odine's proposals."

Squall remained silent.

"Let me restate that I will never agree to anything that would involve harming or imprisoning you or Rinoa..." Laguna sighed, a sad expression creeping across his face. "...If things remain as they are. The goal of Odine's work is to promote the safety, health and peace of everyone, including Rinoa."

They shared a thick and trying silence before Squall nodded in agreement.

"I issued a pardon for her," Laguna said, "which is how you were able to escape from the Memorial and move freely without interruption. The citizenry is pissed, to be sure, but they've been informed of her role in the war, how she was a necessary ally not only to Esthar, but to the world."

 _Figures,_ Squall thought. _There's no other way we would be able to walk out of there or get anywhere without Esthar trying to stop us._

"There should be no cause for concern over her freedom," Laguna continued, "again, _if_ , things remain as they are. No one has any reason to fear her and few could even recognize her and identify her as a sorceress. Most of those who could are members of my council. Things will stay that way if she retains a low profile." Laguna sighed, and offered Squall a weak smile. "I know most of this sounds grim, but you two should know exactly where you stand. And, I was hoping you would understand that the research program was put in place for your benefit." He waved his hand. "Yes, of course we are expected to keep the citizenry safe... You can't blame them for being paranoid after two wars involving sorcery," he shrugged. "But... I, specifically, designed the program in a way to benefit you two."

Squall had no way of knowing if that was true, and was far from fulling trusting Laguna. Instead of questioning his elder, he simply nodded.

"I understand."

Laguna smiled. "Okay. Good. Squall," he swallowed, "I want you and Rinoa to be happy."

Squall's mouth twisted in a way that reflected slight humiliation, but he did his best to hide it. _He wants to help me... And I accosted him... I'm not ready for all of this..._

"...Thank you," Squall said, looking back up at Laguna. "That's... Actually a relief..."

"Squall," Laguna said, leaning closer to him. "I know that what we have gong right now is entirely new. But you need to understand something - I fully support you in all of your endeavors."

"...Thank you," Squall repeated.

Laguna shook his head. "Do you understand what I'm saying?"

 _I thought I did,_ Squall mused, _but your tone suggests otherwise._

Laguna shifted uncomfortably, before reaching out and placing his hand on his son's shoulder. "This means that, like you, I am willing to risk _everything_."

Squall blinked. "...But... Why would you..."

"The second I heard Raine had my child," Laguna said, "everything else is my life became meaningless. Well, there's still Ellone, and Kiros and Ward, but nothing I do for myself is relevant anymore. Everything I do from this point on will be out of your interest."

Squall shook his head. "Is this a guilt thing? Or..."

Laguna shook his head. "No." Then he shrugged. "Well, maybe, but it's irrelevant. You could be the downfall of this entire planet. It doesn't matter. I'm on your side. And as long as I'm in this chair, Esthar is on your side."

... _Damn_... Squall shook his head again. _How did I go from having nothing and no one to all of this?_ He was entirely unaccustomed to someone showing him such devotion.

"...I... I don't know what to say."

Laguna scratched the back of his head. "So... Should we hug, or..?"

Squall tightened his lips. "I'm good... But, I mean, if you want to..."

Laguna's phone started to ring, and they were both thankful for the interruption. He held up a finger, then retrieved his phone from his pocket. He placed the phone to his ear.

"What's up, Kiros?"

He winced, removed the phone from his ear and held it away from his face. Squall heard music in the background and Kiros attempting to shout over it.

"What?" Laguna said, putting the phone back to his ear. He put his palm over his face. "Kiros, text me, you fool." He ended the call and looked back at Squall.

"Sorry," he shrugged.

A sharp 'ping' noise emitted from the phone, and Laguna looked at the screen. He looked back up.

"...Interested in going out for a drink?"

Squall shrugged. He wasn't really in the mood, but, to be fair, he was never in the mood to go out in public.

"I should probably find Rinoa."

"Yeah... About that..." Laguna scratched the back of his head. "You'll find her there with Kiros and Ward."

... _The hell?_ Squall sighed.

"...Let's have a drink, then."

* * *

The next few days went by quickly and before they knew it, the quartet found themselves packing up their camping gear. It was early morning and the cool from the night's chill still hung in the air.

Selphie grunted as she tried to roll a slapping bag perfectly flat. Pots clanged and clattered on the ground as Zell dropped them. "Whoops," he said, picking them up and re-stringing them together.

Quistis zipped up her bag and threw the straps over her shoulders. "Man," she said, "I can't believe it's time to go already."

"I know," Selphie whined. "We only got to dive, like, twenty more times!"

"You guys are crazy," Zell rolled his eyes. "I'm exhausted. I want nothing more than to see my own bed."

"I know what you mean," Quistis agreed.

"Sure was nice bein' out here, though," Irvine commented, taking in the peaceful surroundings one last time.

Selphie pulled the drawstring and closed the back, then strapped it to her pack. Zell tied the pots to his.

"Ready to go?" Quistis asked. The others nodded, they took one last look at the scenery, and began their hike.

"Not gonna run ahead this time, huh Zell?" Selphie asked as they trotted along, cocking a brow.

Zell rolled his eyes. "Tch, tryin' to ditch me already, huh Selph?"

Selphie giggled. "Let's just hope we don't run into any anacondaurs on the way!"

"I can't wait until we get this film uploaded," Quistis said, holding a small digital camera in her hand. "I think we got some really good shots during the dives."

"Yeah!" Selphie cheered. "Now everyone will _know_ that we're badass."

"Selphie," Zell groaned, his arms crossed over his chest, "we saved the world, remember? Everyone already knows we're badass."

"You keep thinkin' that, Zell," she said, taking the camera from Quistis and hugging it eagerly. "As for me, I'm gonna get a copy of these pictures."

"...Hey... I want copies, too," Zell mumbled.

"Let's get one more, together, before we go," Quistis suggested. The others nodded, and she set it to the timer. She went over to the rest of the group, and they put their arms around each other and smiled. The flash flickered, and Quistis picked up the camera and placed it in her jacket pocket. They continued on, and fell back into idle conversation.

"Are you excited to see Seifer?" Selphie cooed. Quistis blinked, surprised. Selphie made kissing noises. "C'mon. It's been almost a week since you've seen him,"

"Selphie," Quistis pressed.

"…Why would that excite you?" Zell asked.

"Oh," Selphie said, forgetting that Zell was still oblivious to the situation. "Oops," she said.

"Hold on a second," Zell said, pausing and looking at the other three with wide eyes. He observed their wary expressions, and instantly he knew. "Quistis, no way," he said to her. "Are you and Seifer - an item?"

Quistis sighed, scratching her neck nervously. "Zell, I was gonna tell you..."

"No," he said.

"Zell, come on,"

"Nooooooooo," he repeated.

Quistis huffed. "Zell,"

"Nonononono," he shook his head. Quistis tried not to roll her eyes. Irvine and Selphie laughed, earning a glare from the blonde.

"Don't be like that," Quistis told Zell.

"He is the WORST, Quistis!" he exclaimed, then plopped to the ground and sat, utter shock written on his face.

Quistis knelt down beside him and placed her hand on his shoulder. "He's not so bad, Zell," she said.

"How long has this been going on?!" he asked, as if he the one being victimized.

"Not that long," Quistis answered.

He sighed deeply and shook his head. "Quistis... How could you..?"

"Come on, Zell," Quistis sighed. "It's not that bad."

Zell looked down in defeat. "For you, maybe! For me, it's terrible..."

Selphie couldn't help but giggle at that and Irvine nudged her arm to silence her.

"You'll be fine, Zell. I promise. It'll get easier," Quistis offered. "Who knows? You might even get used to him,"

"Oh man..." Zell shook his head despondently and Quistis was reminded of his stubborn nature as a child.

"Come on, Zell. Let's get a move-on. You can mourn on the way down," Irvine said while Selphie giggled again.

Zell pushed himself to his feet and frowned at Quistis. He then walked ahead of the group, his nose in the air. Quistis sighed.

"At least he didn't cry," Selphie said, and the three chuckled.

"I feel awful," Quistis said her hand over her chest.

"Whaaatever," Selphie huffed.

Quistis glared at her. "It's _your_ fault, you know."

Selphie shrugged and laughed again, and Quistis seethed through her teeth.

"He'll be fine," Irvine brushed it off. "Remember... In a few days, he'll be back with Sora and happily distracted."

"That's true," Quistis thought.

Selphie made more kissing sounds and they laughed as they once again followed after the martial artist.

* * *

In Esthar, the sky was beginning to grow dark. The Ragnarok's engine was humming, and Rinoa, Laguna, Kiros, Ward and Ellone stood in the hatch.

"Everything's ready," Squall said, emerging from the cabin.

Rinoa nodded and smiled at the others. "Thanks again for everything," she said. "I'm gonna miss spending time with you guys!"

"Come back soon," Ellone suggested, and the couple nodded. She embraced Rinoa, then Squall. "Please be careful on your journey," she said to him.

"I will," he nodded. He shook Kiros and Ward's hands. "Good to see you guys - in real life that is," he said.

Kiros laughed, and Ward grinned. "Always a pleasure," Kiros said.

"You guys come back any time you want. There's always food here," Laguna said.

"That's for sure," Kiros said, rolling his eyes.

"Thank you, Laguna," Rinoa said, wrapping her arms around him and hugging him tightly.

"Any time, Rinoa," he responded. She released him and he stood before his son, suddenly wondering how he should say goodbye.

"Well... We'll be in touch," Laguna said, and Squall nodded. "Thanks again for coming,"

"Thank you for having us," Squall said.

Laguna scratched the back of his head, then quickly put his arms around his son. They lightly and awkwardly embraced, and Laguna released him. "Take care," he said, nervously backing away. Squall nodded.

The four of them left the hatch and watched as the ramp began to lift. "Bye!" Rinoa waved. The four waved back.

"Come back soon!" Ellone called.

The door sealed shut and air hissed from its sides. The four watched as the ship slowly powered up, hovered over the ground a bit, then took to the sky. The building's ceiling shut behind him, and the twilight that filled the room now replaced by cold shadow.

"Sure was fun having them," Ellone sighed, and Laguna nodded.

"And didn't go so bad with Squall, after all," Kiros noted. Ward nodded in agreement.

"Yeah, I guess so," Laguna smiled, still watching the ceiling.

* * *

Laguna hadn't rested so easily in quite some time, and he was grateful for the relaxation it provided. He was in a deep sleep and was surprised to find his mind become strangely active in the middle of the night.

He sat up and looked to his nightstand to see the time. He noticed that his covers were gone and the bed was no longer beneath him. He wondered if he could be dreaming, but he thought that Ellone's powers talking hold of him was far more likely. This seemed too real to be a dream. He'd experienced this before - it had to be Ellone. He sighed, regretting losing out on the rest.

~ He noticed where he was. He was standing in her bedroom - Raine's bedroom - their bedroom - in Winhill. He grew tense, preparing for another memory that would involve her. They were hard for him to experience at first, but he had toughened up and grown used to it.

He glanced behind him and noticed Raine sitting quietly on the window bed. She looked over at him and smiled warmly, and he suddenly realized that this wasn't a memory.

"Raine," he breathed, his voice caught in his throat.

"Long time no see," she said softly. "How have you been, Laguna?"

He thought back to when Squall had told him Raine would be paying him a visit. He wasn't aware it would be so soon. But there she was, standing before him.

"Raine," he repeated, his voice steadier this time.

She stood up and embraced him softly, and he wrapped his arms around her, realizing that she really was tangible and reliving the feeling of her body against his. He had almost forgotten what it felt like. He breathed in her scent and found himself more at peace than he'd been in a long time.

"I'm sorry our last visit ended the way it did," she apologized, tears spilling from her eyes.

Laguna shook his head and wiped the tears from her cheeks. "No, Raine - it's my fault. You know I've been... Well, without you, I'm..." he was at a loss for words, and it reminded him of his shortcomings as a writer, especially when it came to expressing his feelings for her.

She placed a finger on his lips, gently silencing him. He looked into her eyes and felt lost in the deep steel blue, watching her with a longing that was incomparable to anything he'd ever wanted. He kissed her lips and melted into the moment as he remembered the feeling. His fingers felt her soft hair and he clenched it in his fists. Raine was hesitant to continue for too long, remembering how painful it was for them to separate the last time. She pulled away from him and gave him a soothing smile.

"I miss you, Raine," he said.

She nodded, placing her hand on his cheek. "I miss you, Laguna." She smiled proudly. "Our son... He's great, isn't he?"

Laguna smiled, too, feeling his own pride. "Yeah," he agreed. "He's a lot like you," he laughed.

She grinned, exultant at that fact. Then she looked at him solemnly. "I'm sorry I never told you," she said, her eyes on the ground. "I wanted to, really... But..."

Laguna shook his head again. "It's fine, Raine - I understand. Though I wish things could have been different for us, this is the way it is. I wish we could have raised him, I wish we could have been a family,"

Raine sniffled, wiping the tears from her eyes. "I know," she said.

"Raine, I'm so sorry," he said, taking her hands. "I'm so sorry that I let you die. I should have been there for you - I should have come back."

"Laguna," she sighed. "Please - it's not your fault... You couldn't have known,"

"I blame myself," he said, defeated.

"I don't blame you," she said, and smiled at him sweetly. "I don't want to have this talk again, okay?"

He offered her a weak smile back, but it soon disappeared. "Raine... I'm sorry. For everything."

She nodded, accepting his apology. "I'm sorry for everything, too," she said. "I love you, Laguna."

"I love you, Raine," he said, brushing the hair from her face. "I would have done anything to save you,"

"It's time to let go of that, Laguna. It was beyond your control - both of ours. Just do me one thing," she proposed.

"Anything," he agreed.

"Take care of Squall and Ellone, please?" She smiled at him. "I know you will,"

He nodded. "Of course."

"I'll be seeing you, now and again... And before you know it, we'll be reunited!" She laughed, looking him over. "You're no spring chicken, anymore," she joked. "Though I have to admit... You did turn out to be quite a handsome man, even with age."

He felt himself blush, suddenly aware of his age. When he'd seen her the way she was, he'd somehow assumed he'd be that age again, too. So much for that. "I'm sure you would have been more beautiful every day," he said nervously, and she smiled, her eyes sad.

She knew that her time here was limited. She took her hands into her own and looked into his eyes. "Come lay with me," she said, her voice like an angel's.

He nodded obediently, lowering her onto the bed that he hadn't been in for years, but still seemed so familiar. He kissed her softly, and though she felt real, she also felt as temporary as the wind. "You made me a better man," he said.

She kissed him again and grinned. "You didn't need my help with that,"

"Raine... I don't want you to go," he said, and his words echoed the memory of their time before. "Everything I am... It means nothing without you,"

"Now you have a reason to go home," she said happily. "They need you."

He shook his head, knowing but not wanting to accept it. "My home is with you,"

"Not anymore," she shook her head. "Don't worry. It will be, soon enough."

He went to her lips again and they were blanketed by the darkness of night. ~

When Laguna woke, he blinked a few times as his vision adjusted. There he was, back in his room, back in his presidential bed. He looked to his right, as he so often did, and found the other side of the bed to be cold and empty.

He sighed, his grief washing over him. He allowed the feeling - almost welcomed it. It was familiar, and though it did nothing to comfort him, it was at least something he recognized. He buried his face in his hands, his long bangs hanging over his fingers.

Most of the time, he would shed tears over his guilt and loss. But as the years passed, the tears had dried up and all that remained was a shallow emptiness in their wake. He'd often wondered if there was a limit to the amount of tears you could cry for a person. Now he had come to find that it was true.

A deep and familiar rage resurface, and he screamed, yanking the lamp from the bedside table and hurling it across the room. It crashed against the wall, the glass of the bulb shattering, and dropped to the floor. Unsatisfied, he got up and went for the bedside table itself. He launched it across the room and it smacked over a standing mirror, spreading broken pieces of glass and chunks of wood around the room. He looked around the room for his next victim, and settled for another lamp. He chucked it by the door and it smacked into the wall just as Ellone entered.

She jumped back behind the door as she noticed the air-borne lamp heading in her direction.

"Whoa!" she said.

She opened the door again, noticing the collapsed pieces of lamp lying on the floor. She observed the mess all around her and her eyes widened.

"Laguna," she gasped. "What are you doing?"

He panted, his breath shallow. The hot blood began to cool in his veins as he tried to regain control. "Not now, Ellone," he seethed. "I'm a little busy."

"Uncle," she said, stepping further into the room, careful to avoid the broken glass on the floor. She looked at him with concerned eyes. "What's the matter?"

"My life," he snapped, his arms outstretched. "I'm sick of it, Ellone. I can't do it anymore. Screw the people of Esthar - I don't want anything if I can't have Raine. I don't want any of this shit," he gestured to the wreckage on the ground. "How could I have given her up... For this?"

She was surprised by his outburst, though she'd seen this kind of thing before. She was reminded of Squall's temper for an instant. "The people of Esthar can find their own President, that's for sure," she shrugged. "If you don't wanna do it anymore, you don't have to." She waited for his response, but he offered nothing. "But..." Ellone continued softly, "what about me? What about Squall?"

Laguna sighed, collapsing back down on his bed. He ran his hand through his hair. "I love you, Elle, I really do," he said.

"I know," Ellone nodded.

"And... I want to be there for Squall, but he doesn't need me. He's a grown-ass man, Ellone - he doesn't need anyone to take care of him,"

"But..." she protested.

"You're both adults. You can take care of yourselves."

After a moment of silence between them, she asked him gently, "what are you saying, Laguna?"

Laguna grabbed at his hair. "I'm saying that I can't take it anymore. It's been almost twenty years since she died, and I'll never get over it. I could live to be a hundred, and I would still feel the loss, every second of every day." He shook his head, feeling utterly hopeless.

"Laguna... Don't give up on your life," Ellone pleaded.

He sighed, his face buried in his hands. "It's too hard, Ellone. Don't you understand?"

"I do..." she admitted. "I do understand." She sat down on the bed beside him and wrapped her arms around him. "I miss her, too," she whispered.

"You could show her to me, Elle," he looked at her hopefully. "You can help me relive the memories..."

Ellone shook her head sternly. "Laguna, we've talked about this... I'm not going to help you become consumed by the dead."

Laguna looked away, ashamed. "I know... I'm sorry... I shouldn't have asked that..."

Ellone rubbed his back, a frown taking over her face as she shared his pain.

"I'll never see her again," Laguna shook his head. "She'll refuse. The last time I saw her, I went through the same thing. I broke down, and begged her to let me stay with her... Then I spent months recovering,"

Ellone nodded sympathetically. "I remember. But... You're passed that,"

"Thought I was. She came to me last night. I saw her, Ellone, for the first time in years. And I promised I would be better this time... I would do anything to see her... But she knows. She knows I can't handle it, and she won't put me through it again. That's how she is."

Ellone rubbed his back softly and smiled. "Of course she'll come visit you again," she assured him. "Don't be silly,"

He looked at her, empty hope in his eyes and doubt written on his face. "…You think so?" he asked.

Ellone nodded. "How else will she see you again?"


	15. Oh Quistis

As Quistis arrived at the entrance to the inn, she found herself observing her appearance once again. This time, however, she was a little more prepared. She'd chosen a knee-length dark blue dress – something simple, but elegant. The strap across her mid-line flattered her figure, much to her pleasure. She had short heels to avoid overstating her already long legs. She'd left her hair up, but pinned it back a little fancier than usual, allowing a few strands to frame her face. Her makeup was fresh and her perfume was light, and she was thoroughly confident that she'd be the one with the upper hand tonight. She placed a winning smile on her face as she walked through the lobby doors.

The desk attendant looked up cheerfully. "Good evening," she said. "May I help you?"

"Yes," Quistis said, approaching the counter. She reached into her small black purse and pulled out a slip of paper. "I'm here visiting…" She looked at the paper. "Room 113." She looked back up with a smile.

"Take the stairs to your left and go up one floor. The room will be to your left."

Quistis nodded. "Thank you," she said and headed toward the stairs.

She climbed them and turned left down the hallway. She looked at the room numbers and counted the doors until she found 113. She took a deep breath before knocking on the door. She sincerely hoped Seifer would be the one to answer this time.

She heard the clicking of the door handle and watched it open. Seifer stood on the other side, in no more than jeans and a plain t-shirt. Suddenly she felt a tad overdressed. He looked Quistis up and down, similar to their first reunion, but he had a more pleasant look on his face this time.

He leaned on the doorway and grinned at her. "Hello, Quistis,"

"Hello, Seifer," she responded.

"You look good enough to eat," he said in approval.

Quistis laughed and fought the urge to roll her eyes. "Thanks, I guess," she said. _That's what I was going for - right?_

"What are you waiting for?" he asked and stood to the side. "Get in here."

"No, thank you," she said, rolling her eyes. "But, you did promise me some useful information for my friends."

"Ah," he said. "I did, didn't I?"

"You did."

"Caught that, did you?"

"I did."

Seifer nodded. "Then I suppose I must." He stretched his arms. "Let's eat - then we'll talk."

Quistis initially wanted to protest, but she shrugged instead. She could eat, and she didn't completely hate the idea of sharing a meal with him.

He went back into the room and Quistis felt awkward standing in the hall, so she entered, but left the door open for good measure.

Seifer removed his shirt and replaced it with a white button-up. He knew it wasn't exactly fair for him to go casual when she'd made an effort to look good. He wished she didn't feel the need to do so, but he wasn't about to complain. He embarrassed her with his grin as he finished buttoning the shirt, and she turned away from him.

He held out his arms. "Well?" He gave her a turn. "Can I go without embarrassing you, now?"

Quistis rolled her eyes. "Sometimes I just want to look nice, okay?" She crossed her arms over her chest. "I don't care what you do."

"Careful," he told her, clutching his chest. "The blood will show through the white."

"Uugh," Quistis groaned. "Let's go already."

As Quistis watched Seifer scarf down a second bowl of rice, she felt an interesting feeling of nostalgia in watching him eat. It had been a while since they shared a meal. She knew she was definitely over-analyzing things as she watched him finish the remainder of his beer. He was obviously not observing her the same way he was the food. He motioned at the waitress for a refill, then smiled at Quistis.

"You were saying something?"

"Hmm?" Quistis hummed while sipping on her cocktail.

"You wanted to know about the lovebirds," he said, taking a bite from a roll.

"Oh," she said, placing her drink back down on the table. "Sure. What'cha got for me?"

"It just so happens," Seifer said in between bites. He swallowed. "That I've done some history on the matter."

"'History?'" Quistis asked.

Seifer nodded. "History that they don't teach you at Garden," he specified.

"And what's that?"

The waitress came by the table with a full beer and Seifer nodded happily. He took a sip before he continued. "It turns out," he said, "the knight was originally the position of the one chosen to destroy the sorceress."

"Destroy the sorceress?" Quistis repeated.

He took another sip from his drink and placed the mug down on the table between them. He nodded. "They were specially trained soldiers. Back then, they were called 'knights.' The strongest and most capable of these soldiers were the ones chosen to lead the war against the sorceress. They were meant to protect the lives of the people against Hyne's descendants."

"Protect the people... Not the sorceress?" Quistis asked.

Seifer shook his head. "Nope. But, legend has it that a knight attempted to infiltrate the sorceress' base single-handedly, his curiosity overcoming his sense. As he was no threat to her as one, she decided to use him in fulfilling her earthly desires. That's how he ended up possessed. Hyne, a man, a god, a sorcerer, created the first sorceress to do his bidding. Maybe she wanted retribution against the stronger sex. So this knight, or dumbass, as I like to call him, was weak and easily became possessed. He caused annihilation to the people of his village while the sorceress focused her efforts on more important things, like gaining energy and materials for her spells. Soon after, knight dumbass formulated an army of men to protect the sorceress and began a new order of 'knighthood.' Since then, sorceresses have possessed powerful and influential soldiers to utilize an army of men, using the same code."

"…What does all of this mean?" Quistis asked.

"It means," Seifer leaned closer to her as he spoke, "that according to legend, Squall, being a powerful and influential soldier, will form an army and assist Rinoa in destroying us all. But, it also means that there's a possibility a sorceress' knight could be helpful. If we could keep Squall from becoming possessed, we could still use him on our side against the sorceress, as it was in the beginning."

"Wait a minute," Quistis said, "what about Rinoa? Are you saying it's a good thing that we can use Squall to kill her? And who's to say she will become evil and possess him?"

 _Obviously I've thought about that._ He looked away for a moment, then back at her. "I ain't saying it's a good thing to use or kill anybody. But once she's tryin' to kill us, we're gonna have to make a choice - it's time you start deciding. I'm not saying she will. But, as you know, there is a strong possibility."

"I know that," she affirmed softly. "But I think Squall's going to decide to _protect_ her, not lead an army to destroy her."

Seifer sighed and leaned back in his chair. "Yeah, I was afraid of that," he shook his head. He finished the reminder of his beer.

"Come on," Quistis said, crossing her arms. "You'll have to do better than that. What else you got?"

He placed the mug back down and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. He thought for a moment. "Well," he began, "here's what else I know. Sorceress abilities are transferred, not destroyed."

Quistis nodded, her hands in her lap as she listened patiently.

"That's why they seal sorceresses instead of killing them. However, there have been cases of sorceresses who have remained unsealed. Take Matron, for example." Quistis nodded again. He continued. "So, if we found another carrier, then sealed them off-"

Quistis shook her head. "No way - Rinoa would never go for that. She'd sacrifice herself before someone she didn't even know." She sighed. "She's got the powers, and she's got them for life. So, without killing her, sealing her off, or sacrificing someone else," she held her fingers to her lips. "What else can we do?"

Seifer sighed. Somehow, he knew his options would be exhausted quickly. He thought to quit while he was ahead and stop underestimating Quistis's inquisitive nature. "It's unlikely, but…" Quistis raised a brow at him, urging him to continue. "Perhaps we could find a way to destroy Hyne's spirit. Not a physical body, but his essence, the entirety of his powers."

"How do we do that?"

Seifer shrugged. "How should I know? It's just a thought." He knew that option was next to impossible. Who was to say such a thing even existed? After a while, he shook his head, willing to admit his feelings.

"We're going to have to fight both of them." He looked into her eyes, seriousness in his expression. "You know that, don't you?"

She knew what he meant, though she was puzzled. "We?" she asked softly.

He nodded. "Of course - I'm not going to sit by idly while another sorceress tries to take over - not again. I'll protect my world, even if it means going up against those two." He shrugged. "I've done it before."

Quistis didn't know what to say. Though it was a highly plausible possibility, she was afraid to succumb to such a drastic outcome. She wondered if she'd even have the heart to fight her two close friends.

"See, this is why I don't like talking about them," he grumbled. "They're trouble brewing."

Quistis finished the last of her cocktail and placed the empty glass down. "You're right," she agreed, understanding his meaning. It was difficult for them to deal with the hardship, so she decided not to press the issue. "That's enough for now. Let's get out of here," she suggested.

Seifer nodded, pulling out gil to pay the tab. Quistis tried to place some down, but he brushed her hand away. She shrugged as she put her money away, though inwardly she was pleased it had almost been like a real date.

As they walked through the streets of Balamb, Quistis scoffed at herself for feeling intimacy where she shouldn't.

 _Maybe he was right. Maybe I am desperate._

"Quistis," he said, interrupting her thoughts.

She looked over at him. "Yeah?"

"I'm curious..." he began. "You haven't mentioned much about the past."

She shrugged. "No."

"I wonder how much you really remember," he said, looking ahead.

Quistis went a few steps past the hotel and stopped, causing him to stop as well. She sat down on the edge of the path, hanging her feet over the water. He joined her at her side.

"What are you getting at?" she asked after a while.

"I can't be very sure of your opinion of me at this point," he replied. "You want to be 'friends.' You want to help Rinoa." He shook his head. "I'm still unsure of if this is a pity party for me, or I'm being used."

Quistis sighed. "Not everyone wants to pity or use you, Seifer." She placed her hand over his and met his eyes. "Do you value yourself so little?"

"I prefer to think of it as being cautious," Seifer said, narrowing his eyes at her and removing his hand. "Did you ever consider that, maybe, it's because I don't trust _you_?"

"I find that very likely," she admitted. "And... I'm not sure I can blame you. Since you have no real reason to trust me."

"Ah ha," he said, pleased that she was agreeing with him in some way and that the heat had been taken off him and placed onto her.

"You're basing everything off the same thing I am," she said, "the experiences we've had together."

"Could be different experiences," he noted.

"Could be," she agreed. "But I've never given you a reason to not trust me, either."

"Ah, I see," he nodded, and looked down at his feet dangling over the water. "And I've given you countless reasons not to trust me."

"You have," she shrugged. She gave him a smile then, which confused him terribly. "Yet here I am."

He crossed his arms over his chest. "...Is that supposed to impress me? Or..."

She blinked. "Impress you?"

"You're awfully good at the holier-than-thou game," he said.

"Let me stop us there," she said, holding up her hand. "Are you really trying to reach an understanding? Or are you trying to push me away?"

"...Can't it be both?" he shrugged.

She lifted her hand. "I guess it could be."

They stayed quiet for a while, and though it was a little uncomfortable, neither seemed intent on budging. Nor did either feel as bothered as they thought they should.

"You can tell me what you want," Quistis said, breaking their silence. "If you want to hate me, that's okay. But I wish you wouldn't."

"I don't hate you," he rolled his eyes. "And I'm more interested in hearing what _you_ want," Seifer said.

She shook her head. "I've told you my motive for being here. A few times."

"I don't think you have," he said, turning to face her.

She blinked at his sudden proximity. "What?"

He rolled his eyes at her. "I think you say you're concerned about me, you just wanna rekindle the 'friendship.' But I don't think that's all." He shook his head. "I'm not the one who's hard to read, here."

Quistis thought about what he said. She bit her lip, and he snorted, knowing he'd made his mark.

"This is why I asked exactly what you remember," he said, "because we weren't 'just friends,' Quistis. We were too young to be in love, sure, but it was more than friendship." He reached into his back pocket and retrieved his wallet.

"I remember us being together... Alone... A lot," she said, placing her finger on her lip.

Seifer removed a small slip of paper from his wallet and handed it to her. She went to take it, but he withdrew his hand. She raised a brow at him.

"'You can tell me what you want,'" he said, using her own words against her.

"Come on, Seifer," Quistis rolled her eyes. "What do you want me to say?"

"You are _into_ me," he stated. "And I'm not sure why you're ashamed to admit it." He scoffed at himself. "Actually, I know why you would be ashamed... But just by being here, just by showing up, I would assume you're passed what happened."

Quistis could only blink in response.

"And you know _why_ you're into me, Quistis?" he asked.

She shook her head.

He shook his head right back at her. "Because we _click_. We have something that connects us. I sure as hell don't know what it is, and you know what? I don't like it any more than you do." He placed the slip of paper in her hand and closed his hand around hers. "You would know that, if you remembered."

"Seifer," again she shook her head. "I don't..."

He let go of her and held up his hand.

"I want Quistis back," he said, then lifted himself up and stood. "You can give her to me, or you can be on your way. I don't need any friends, and if you're back in my life, then this is what that means."

Seifer disappeared into the hotel before she could say or do anything further.

To say she was startled would be an understatement. There was something between them, that she knew. Something about what he said resonated with her. But they hardly knew one another as adults.

 _How can he think... That we could just jump into something like that...?_

She had a feeling that whatever was written on this piece of paper would explain it to her. She opened it slowly, carefully, stalling for time as she found herself nervous over what she would find inside. She took a deep breath, then read the words.

Quistis smiled, even laughed.

"Ah, so," she said.

* * *

When they arrived at Garden, Rinoa rolled her eyes and made a comment about how much quicker the trip was this time around. Squall shrugged it off, feigning complete ignorance. He went to his room with their luggage as Rinoa went to recover Angelo.

He noticed an envelope on the floor by his door and he bent down and picked it up. He observed the lettering. It had his name written on it with no additional information provided. He recognized it as Cid's handwriting, and he wondered what the headmaster could possibly be sending him. He reached in and pulled out a slip of paper. He unfolded it and read:

 _Squall,_

 _Enclosed you will find a keycard for a new dormitory. It's one of the larger, newer models. Enough room for two. See if you like it._

 _Regards,_

 _Cid_

Squall glanced into the envelope and saw the white plastic keycard at the bottom. He pulled it out and observed it.

 _Room for two... You think yourself clever, Cid?_

He replaced the card and the note and resealed the envelope. He thought for a moment then heard the doorknob turn. He shoved the envelope in between some books on his shelf and smiled nonchalantly as Rinoa and Angelo entered. Angelo trotted over to Squall and greeted him happily.

"Hey girl," he sat, patting her head gently. She sat by his side obediently and seemed to smile with satisfaction.

"Geeze, she wasn't even that happy to see me," Rinoa laughed. She hung up the leash and placed the food bowls down. Angelo barked happily as Rinoa filled one with water. She placed the bowl down, and Angelo looked at it and back at her, dissatisfied.

"Come on," Rinoa argued, "you're not getting dinner already - you know that." Angelo laid down and huffed, her nose between her paws. Rinoa giggled at her pet and stroked her head softly. She stood and joined Squall by the bookshelf.

"What'cha lookin' at?" she asked, looking at the spot on the shelf.

"Oh, nothing," he said, turning her attention from the bookcase by sitting on the nearby couch.

Rinoa sat down beside him and smiled. "It's nice to finally be back in Balamb," she said, and Squall nodded in agreement. "When is Selphie's party?"

"In a few days," he answered with a casual wave of his hand.

"That sucks that she's leaving," Rinoa frowned.

"Yeah," he agreed.

"I sure will miss Selphie. I wish she wouldn't go."

"Me either," it was hard for him to say, but at least he'd said it.

"Maybe you could talk to her..?"

He shook his head, almost as if he'd already considered it. "It's her decision."

Rinoa nodded and sighed. "You're right. I guess people just come and go throughout your life, and sometimes it's hard to say goodbye."

Squall nodded, too. He could relate to that feeling.

"It scares me," she said softly.

He blinked. Where had that solemn mood suddenly come from?

"What does?" he asked.

"I've lost a lot of people in my life," she began, her voice low. "And... When people leave, it scares me, because I worry I won't see them again."

He understood that, too. In fact, he felt that way for most of his life. "I know what you mean," he said genuinely, placing his hand over hers. "But... I think we hold on to the ones that matter."

"Really?" she said, her voice cracking a bit.

He nodded. "Sure. If you care about people enough, you're gonna keep them around, right?"

"Yeah," she sniffled. "But she's going away. How am I supposed to keep her in my life?"

He shrugged. "I guess you'd have to follow after her," he concluded.

"What?" she laughed. "Then I'd be leaving you! And Quistis, Zell, Irvine..."

"Then, I suppose you'd have to decide who means the most to you," he smirked.

"You're playing with me," she nudged his arm. "But, I know what you're trying to say. And you're right. If I want to keep her in my life, I have to make it happen,"

He nodded in affirmation.

She smiled. "You know, for bein' so dumb, you sure are smart sometimes," she cooed.

"And for being so pretty, you sure are loud sometimes," he responded.

She shoved his arm again, though the comment made her giggle. "I am pretty aren't I?" she said, beating her eyelashes. She narrowed her eyes at him. "Say it," she demanded.

"I just did," he shrugged, and she shoved him again.

"Don't make me rough you up again, Leonhart," she warned.

"Yeah... That worked out real well for you last time," he rolled his eyes.

She huffed, then swung her leg over him and climbed onto his lap. She pinned his arms back and stuck her face in his, the tips of their noses almost touching. "Say I'm pretty," she commanded, her tone fierce.

He blinked at her proximity, then grinned. She was a feisty one lately, this one. "You're beautiful," he told her.

She grinned happily and kissed his lips. "Thanks!" she cooed. "You don't have to be so nice,"

"You don't give me much of a choice," he protested.

She covered his lips with her fingers. "That's the part where you shut up, Leonhart."

"Why don't you make me shut up, Heartily?" he taunted her back.

"With pleasure," she said, and their lips met again.

* * *

When Seifer opened the door to find Quistis on the other side, he had little time to contemplate her presence before she threw herself into him. Her arms went around his neck and her lips met his. Despite her dramatic entrance, she worked the kiss slowly as they explored the sensation. His arms snaked around her and squeezed, pressing her harder into him.

He released her for a moment, the warmth of his lips and body retreating with him. She watched as he slammed the door to the room shut and before she knew it, Quistis was in his grasp again, his lips and tongue working wonders with hers. She reveled in the roller coaster of feelings washing over her. She was nervous and apprehensive, but she was excited and curious. Her skin felt cold against him, like his was on fire. She pulled at the buttons of his shirt as he worked her dress, both hindering the other's progress. He unzipped the top of her dress, revealing the dark bra underneath. She pushed the shirt off his shoulders and it slumped to the ground beside them. She returned to his lips as she ran her hands along his chest.

He placed his hands on the back of her legs and lifted her up, pressing her against the door for support. She wrapped her legs around his waist and moaned as he pushed her skirt up her legs and pressed his hips against hers. At some point, he pulled off her heels. She didn't notice when.

He trailed his lips down her neck and brought his hand up to her breast. He pulled the bra aside, not bothering to remove it, and explored her breast with his fingers. She moaned, lifting her head back. She was completely overwhelmed with what was happening but she had no intention of stopping it.

He pressed into her harder in response and she could feel his arousal between her legs. She felt her insides churning as her breath quickened. She began to sweat. She slipped her hand in between them and felt the bulge between his legs. She slid her hand up and down, and he practically growled, making her shiver. She felt his mouth moving down to her chest and onto her breast. She gasped at the sensation. "Seifer," she breathed. He responded by running his hands over her ruthlessly.

"Seifer," she repeated, a little more coherently.

"What," he said, focused on pulling at the lining of her panties.

"Bed," she managed to say.

He nodded and lifted her into his arms again. He turned her around and lay her onto the bed, stretching out over her. He began to kiss her again and she slowed him by placing her hands on his face and controlling the pace. He seemed to melt into the feeling of it. She unzipped the remainder of her dress and allowed him to pull it off of her. His fingers went under her panties and into her, sliding in easily. He pushed and twisted and she shuddered against him.

"Wait here," he commanded. He got up from the bed and made his way into the bathroom.

Quistis took the liberty of taking her bra off. She laid there on the bed, half naked and fully prepared to go all the way. While she was alone, she looked around his room, and her brain finally reminded her of the reality of her situation. She took a deep breath.

Am I really going to do this..?

When she saw him return, the sight of his body brought her body right back into the driver's seat. He threw the wrapper down on the bedside table. He smiled at seeing her body uncovered. He crawled back on top of her and kissed her on the neck.

"You are beautiful, Quistis," he mumbled.

She closed her eyes and sighed. She certainly felt beautiful. She ran her hands through his hair, and was somehow exhilarated by the feeling of it against her fingers. He trailed his lips down her stomach and kissed her hips eagerly, and she felt herself squirm. He licked and nipped at her, hitting a multitude of effective spots, and she was disappointed as he stopped just as she reached the edge of her climax.

She sat up and fumbled with the buckle of his pants, eager to continue. He enjoyed her urgency and assisted her with the rest of the job. He pulled her panties down her legs.

When he reached over for the wrapper, she felt her breath catch in her throat. "Seifer," she said as he tore open the wrapper.

"What," he asked as he prepared himself.

"I've, um," she cleared her throat uncomfortably as she watched him.

He looked up at her. "What?" he repeated, a little more focused.

"I've never been with anybody before, like this," she finally admitted.

He sighed and looked down. "Damn... You sure did seem like a pro," after a moment.

She laughed, rolling her eyes. "Gee, thanks. I'll choose to take that as a compliment."

She saw the unsure expression on his face and grazed his cheek with her hand. "I don't want you to stop," she said.

"You sure are loading me up with a lot of responsibility, Quistis," he frowned.

"That's up to me, so, I guess we'll see?" she said.

"You'd better not," he cautioned.

She smiled and brought his face back to hers, brushing her lips against his softly. He closed his eyes and it wasn't long before he returned to his prior mood. She ran her hand down his back softly and felt him shiver. She let her hand rest on his waist. The kiss deepened until Quistis felt that familiar pulling between her legs.

"Do it," she whispered.

He didn't need to be told twice. He entered her slowly but completely. He felt her nails gripping his skin at his back and shoulder and he shuddered as he tried to keep still. She cried out softly, a sound of pleasure laced with a bit of discomfort. He kissed her softly and waited. When she nodded, he pulled his hips back a bit, then thrust into her again.

He heard her gasp and moan at his slow thrusts and was driven to quicken his pace, far past the point of caring about her comfort. She gripped his skin and bit her lip, gasping at the combination of sharp stings and intense pleasure. After a while, all discomfort subsided and the pleasure took over. She moved her hips against him and felt the wave of pleasure each time she moved with him. He turned her on her side, then onto her belly and back again, and she allowed him to introduce her to every new sensation. He groaned and kissed her body hungrily, gripping her hair and the sheets of the bed. She cried out his name and he tried to subside his movements to keep from going over the edge.

She felt her own completion nearing as the pressure built between her legs. With every thrust, the pressure built and she knew that it would be soon that it erupted. She gripped his back and said his name again. He replied by saying her own name, and she felt the pressure break. The orgasm spread through her legs, down into her toes, and back up her body. Her grip on his skin tightened in response. She cried out her back arched. He felt her shudder and listened to her moan and felt his own release happen despite himself. He felt the pulsating and he groaned, gripping her harder in return. When the wave subsided, the intense energy he'd possessed slipped away, and he tried not to collapse on her as he panted.

He heard small moans escaping from her throat and he kissed her softly, as he couldn't manage much more than that. It was all she needed, and she reveled in the fullness and warmth of his lips. He decided that he didn't feel like holding himself up any longer and he rolled onto his back beside her.

She sighed and rolled onto her side to face him. "So that's what all the fuss is about," she said.

He laughed. "Worth fussin' about?"

"That was, I think," she said.

"I'll be fussin' about this one for a while,"

She pushed his arm. "Seifer," she cautioned.

He grinned. "I been wonderin' when this day would come," he shrugged. "It was worth the wait."

She smiled and rolled her eyes. "Well, so sorry to make you wait,"

He shook his head. "I just can't believe it was that easy. I didn't even have to play Mr. Nice Guy. I mean it was like, you showed up, smacked me in the face, and boom, here we are."

"I don't think it was that simple," she rolled her eyes again. "Way to make me feel lady-like, Seifer," she complained.

He turned to face her and raised a brow. "You wanna feel lady-like?"

She felt herself blush again, her usual shyness mysteriously reappearing.

They stayed there for a while in silence.

"So... I guess it wasn't your first time, then," she said. It probably wasn't the best or most courteous move, especially in his vulnerable state. But she had to admit, she was curious.

"...No," he said after a while.

"...Rinoa?" Quistis bit her lip.

"Ha," Seifer laughed. "No way. I'll be surprised if she lets Squall touch her."

"I guess you guys weren't that serious, then,"

"Quistis," Seifer said, turning on his side and propping himself up on his elbow to face her. "You really wanna talk about Rinoa right now?"

"I guess not," Quistis said, embarrassed. "I'm curious, that's all..."

He shrugged casually. "She loved me," he told her. "And I must have loved her, too. I tried to kill a president for her, after all."

"What happened, then?" she asked.

Seifer shrugged, laying back onto his back and placing his hands behind his head. "Just... Didn't love her enough, I guess."

"Oh," Quistis said. She turned to face him this time. "Sorry I brought it up. I guess that's weird."

"Didn't peg you as the jealous type," he teased her.

"Whatever," she said, rolling her eyes. "It could just be that I want to understand you better."

"It's for the best, anyway," he decided.

"Oh?"

"I want nothin' to do with a woman tryin' to change me, make me more dignified. Squall's the one who needed changin'. I got my own problems, but at least I know who I am." He shrugged again. "I want a lady who's a little more… Undiginified."

"Interesting word choice," she noted, a little bitterly.

He ran his hand down her side and grinned. "I want a woman who can take care of herself. Confident, easy to talk to, easy to be around, not caught up in emotional garbage. And that's you, right?" She nodded and smiled at him. "The sex is a great perk too," he said with a nod. "Yep, I think you and I could help each other out."

She laughed. "That was your plan all along, huh?"

He eyed her suspiciously. "More like yours,"

"Yeah, I guess so," she said between laughs.

"So when you go back to Garden, am I gonna hear from you again?" he asked.

She was a bit startled that he would even ask that, though he didn't seem to care what her answer would be. She wasn't sure how she felt about that.

"Of course," she answered. She sighed, reminded of her obligations to Garden. "Honestly, I should head back... The others will leave for Dollet without me," she smiled weakly.

He smiled back at her. "Wouldn't that be a shame,"

"I'd… Planned on saying more," she said.

"You wasted your talking time, it seems," he observed. She laughed, and he shrugged. "What? I'm not complaining."

She smiled at him warmly. "I knew I missed you," she said.

* * *

Seifer continued to stare at the ceiling. He was tired, tired enough to sleep, but something kept his mind awake. He watched her sleeping soundly on his chest. He took the arm that rested above his head and ran his fingers through her hair leisurely. He enjoyed the feeling of the soft strands on his fingertips. He breathed in her scent, something familiar that he couldn't place. If anything, she was certainly a physical pleasure. His eyes became fixated once again on the ceiling, and while feeling her soft hair, he couldn't help but think of that day.

If he had remembered anything from that day, it was the sense of turmoil. He was more uneasy, more unsure of himself than he'd ever been.

~ He made his way along the shoreline, searching for her. He had to find her, because she would know what to do. She always knew what to do, and he admired the wisdom that exceeded her years. The apprehension of what could happen began to take hold, and he felt himself almost panic at not being able to find her. He climbed down a few rocks and jumped to a lower part of beach. This was her favorite spot. The shore brushed against his bare feet. She wasn't there. He sighed, relinquishing hope, and turned to make his way back up the rocks.

"Seifer," he heard, and he turned at the sound of her voice.

She wore a plain white dress and held a seashell in her hand. Her hair was tied up with a ribbon. As he looked at the clean, pressed linen that covered her, and her hair dressed up, he knew that it must have been true. He couldn't think of anything to say.

Quistis tilted her head. "Seifer," she repeated. "Were you looking for me?"

"Yeah," Seifer said bluntly, his attitude adjusted. He wasn't confused anymore. He wasn't worried. Now he was mad.

"I was collecting some seashells," she said, holding the shell up. "I want to have something, to remind me…"

"Quistis," he said. She turned and looked at him, the sadness apparent in her eyes. "...You're really gonna leave?" he managed.

"I have to, Seifer," she shrugged, her voice soft. "They picked me. Matron says I have too."

"…Where are you gonna go?" he asked.

"Balamb," Quistis said. "That's where they're from."

"Well, I guess this is goodbye, then," Seifer said, crossing his arms across his chest. "You're lucky you got picked. I'm sure your life will be great now - full of pretty white dresses."

She frowned, tugging at the ribbon in her hair. It came undone and her hair fell loose.

"I do feel a little silly in this get-up, but, Matron wanted me to look nice." She stepped closer to him and placed the shell on the ground. She looked into his eyes, and though they were full of spite, she knew him better. "I don't want this to be goodbye," she said. "Can't we still see each other sometimes?"

"Doubt it," Seifer said, his voice cold. "I don't think that's how orphanages work."

"Seifer," Quistis said softly, and he felt a small pang of weakness at the sound of her voice.

He turned away from her. "We could write letters or something, that's about it. And, you'll forget to do that after a while, anyway. Just like Ellone."

"I wouldn't," she said from behind him. He wanted to look at her, but couldn't bring himself to. "Seifer," she repeated. "You're my best friend - isn't there something we can do?"

"Don't think so, Quistis. You're rich now. You'll make brand new friends. You don't need us dirty orphanage kids anymore." He sighed, then turned back to face her. "It's been nice knowing you."

Her brow furrowed, and she placed her hands on her hips. Despite herself, she grew frustrated with his attitude. "How can you be like that?" she asked.

He was a bit taken aback by the question. "…Like what?"

"I thought we were friends," she said, her eyes beginning to water.

"…We are," he mumbled, surprised at her tears. "Are you crying?"

"No!" she said, turning away quickly and rubbing the tears from her eyes. "I just thought you'd care that I was leaving. I care about leaving you, I care about leaving here. This is my home," she sniffled and wiped the tears away once more. "I don't want to go."

"…Don't… Wanna go?" he repeated. "But, Quistis, this is what you want. It's what we all want,"

"Yeah, well," she said, "maybe it isn't what I want anymore. But it doesn't matter. I have no choice."

"What do you mean?" he asked. "What do you want?"

She turned back to face him. "I… Want to stay here. I wanna stay with my friends, Matron… I want to stay with you."

He blinked. "Me?" he said, pointing to himself. Somehow, he had thought she'd been less interested in how he felt.

She nodded. She took his hand into hers and looked into his eyes. She didn't say anything and Seifer felt his heart skip a beat or two at the contact. Her hand was soft and warm against his, and he found himself consumed in the touch.

"Seifer," she said again, breaking his train of thought, and he wondered why she always had to say his name so sweetly. His preteenage ambitions made it difficult for him to feel otherwise.

"Before I go, I wanted to give you something." She reached into the breast pocket of her dress and pulled out a piece of folded up paper. She handed it to him, and he took it, turning it over in his hand. He went to open it, but her hand stopped him.

"Keep it," she said. "Don't open it until I'm gone." He nodded silently, and slipped the note into the pocket of his jeans. "And, I want something from you, too," she said, smiling.

"Me?" he asked. He looked around him. "I don't have anything, what could I-"

"I want you to give me my first kiss," she said, smiling mischievously.

His eyes widened. "…What?" He coughed, startled.

"You have something to remember me by. Now, I want something from you. I know we're just friends, but…" She held her hands behind her back and kicked at the sand, shyly fixating her eyes on the ground. "I'll make a lot of new friends, meet new people… And, in case we don't meet again like you said, I want my first kiss you to be from you." She shrugged. "I've kind of always wanted to know what it would be like."

He couldn't deny that he had wondered the same thing. He'd found himself staring at her lips many times, and he'd often wondered what they would feel like. He'd even come close to finding out a few times, but could never bring himself to do so. He'd never kissed anyone before, and he wondered if he'd even know how to do it.

She approached him again and placed her hand on his face delicately. She felt his skin beneath her fingertips and the feeling of it excited her. Unsure of how else to respond, Seifer lifted his hand and touched her face as well. She almost laughed, but she enjoyed the feeling of his touch much more. He ran his hand along her long hair and was surprised at how it felt like silk. Her hands dropped and she closed her eyes. He touched her lips with his fingertips. Her lips felt soft and full, and he felt the thrill of now knowing what they felt like to the touch.

"Please," Quistis said, stilling his hand with her own, "kiss me, Seifer."

He leaned in eagerly, but kissed her softly. He seemed to simply press at first, but she moved her lips and he began to acquaint himself with what the verb "kiss" was all about. His hands made their way back to her hair, and he decided quickly that kissing was definitely something he enjoyed. Her hands went his face again, slowing him a bit. He tried to resist his eagerness, but he wanted nothing more than to explore what kissing was in its entirety. She pulled away, and he felt a little regretful at losing the warmth of her lips.

He saw the tears falling down her cheeks and he wiped them away with his thumbs. "Don't cry, Quistis," he said, not knowing what else to say.

She sniffled and the tears seemed to fall even harder. "I don't wanna go, Seifer," she said, shaking her head. "I don't want to go..."

He kissed her cheeks and then her lips again in an attempt to comfort her. She fell into him, and he wrapped his arms around her hesitantly. She cried softly, and he finally felt the weight of reality. Tomorrow, she would be gone. And no matter how he acted, he knew that inside his heart was breaking. ~

Seifer looked over at his wallet on the bedside table. He reached over for it, careful not to disturb her. He pulled out the piece of paper from it and shook it open. The paper was old, the ink was faded. But he read the lettering now as clearly as he had that day.

 _You're the first person I ever loved, and I will never forget you._

 _Quistis_

He sighed as he looked down at her once more. Nothing had hurt him more than the day he realized that he was on his own, that his friends wouldn't always be there for him. Quistis wouldn't always be there for him.

But now, apparently, she was here. He chuckled to himself, finding the entire situation somewhat ironic.

"What is it that you do to me?" he asked her, and she only breathed softly in reply.


	16. Home Base

Rinoa met Squall for dinner and they were now enjoying their obligatory coffee. He hadn't said much other than a slight ramble on Cid's incompetence and his fear that Cid would single-handedly cause the entire world to fall back into war for no real reason at all. Rinoa had always found Cid to be knowledgeable and helpful, so she didn't do anything other than listen. When they were silent for a while, Rinoa decided to talk about their deceptively missing instructor friend.

"So, wanna hear some gossip?" she grinned.

"No," he answered, his arms crossed over his chest. "But I have a feeling you're going to tell me about it anyway."

She pointed. "Your intelligence is one of the things I like about you," she told him with a wink.

"Horray for me," he rolled his eyes.

"It seems that our Quistis is interested in patching things up – personally - with Seifer." She raised a brow, awaiting his reaction.

Squall looked interested now. "Wait, what? Why?"

Rinoa shrugged, placing her hands up. "She said they were good friends when they were little, and she wants to salvage the relationship. She's gotta thing for bad guys, I guess." She sipped on her coffee casually.

Squall crossed his arms over his chest, unamused by her light-hearted tone. "Shit," he said.

Rinoa blinked at his response and placed her cup down in front of her.

"What is she thinking? Did she just forget about what that asshole did to us? To all of us?" Squall shook his head. "Seifer is trouble. Now Quistis thinks she's going to redeem him? Everyone will get along like nothing happened? Screw that. She doesn't need to get wrapped up in that shit. If she does, she's a fool."

"Hey," Rinoa protested. "Come on. You if anyone should understand what he's been through,"

"How should I know what he's been through?" Squall asked, annoyed by her presumption. "I'm not Seifer, that's for damn sure. All I know is what he's put us through. I know you used to like him, or whatever, but he should remain in the past where he belongs."

Rinoa frowned. This isn't about me – it's about Quistis. He shouldn't have said it like that.

"Look, he betrayed me too - more than anyone! But that doesn't mean we can completely erase him from our lives,"

"Why not?" he scoffed.

Her brow furrowed and her hopeful gaze turned into an angry glare.

"Is that how you handle things, Squall? Because I was always taught that if there's a chance, any chance that there's some good in someone, you salvage it. You bring those who are lost back by having faith and trusting them. You don't just give up."

Squall rolled his eyes. "You don't know when to give up. Somebody sentences you to death and you want to be friends?"

Rinoa swallowed hard to fight back the knot forming in her throat. "My feelings have nothing to do with it. This is about Quistis - what she feels and what she wants."

She stared him down hard to enforce her point. This wasn't about how she or Squall felt, and he needed to recognize that. She would be damned if she would have what happened to her shoved in her face. She had been nothing if not graceful in accepting her fate.

Squall looked down at his hands in his lap, avoiding her piercing stare. He knew it wasn't right of him to drag Rinoa into it. His own feelings were getting in the way of what she was trying to say, but his pride would never allow him to admit it.

"I understand that," he said, which is the best she would get.

"No, I don't think you do," she snapped back. He looked at her, a little surprised that his words weren't good enough.

"Alright," Squall sighed. "You wanna do this? You wanna have the Seifer talk?"

Rinoa blinked.

"Not here," he shook his head. "Let's go back to my place."

Squall closed the door to his room behind him and sighed inwardly. He'd hoped the walk from the cafeteria would somehow make their earlier conversation dissipate. The hurt and pissed look on Rinoa's face suggested otherwise.

He'd hurt her before, he knew that. Now how did he fix it those other times?

 _I guess I didn't, really._

He looked at her, frozen. He wasn't exactly sure what to say. How was he supposed to communicate logic without seeming callous? She placed her hands on her hips. Apparently she was going to speak for him.

"What's your real problem with Seifer?" she asked, her question direct.

He paused, thinking. _My 'real' problem? Which of them isn't real?_

She sighed. "I mean, it's outrageous to me that you are incapable of forgiveness, especially for someone you've known for so long. So, tell me, what's your problem with him? Why do you hate him so much?"

Squall crossed his arms. _She wants to know... Why not tell her?_

"I hate him because he hurt innocent people," Squall said, staring her down in seriousness. "He hurt us," he touched his chest. "He's an arrogant, selfish prick," he spat. "I hate him because he has spent his entire life trying to be better than me at everything. I hate him because his only reason for existing seems to be to make my life miserable." Squall threw out his arm. "I hate that he fucked up my face."

Rinoa looked at him, unsure of what to think or say. But he gave her no room to say anything as he went on.

"I hate every word he says. I hate everything he does, and everything he stands for." He threw both his arms out this time. "I hate that you care about him. I hate that he had you first, and there's nothing I can do about that."

Rinoa blinked.

He shook his head. "Yeah, it's not just about you, but you're a part of it." He turned away from her, his body language shutting her out.

She smiled at him sadly. I see now... She couldn't bear to make him feel that way.

"Squall," she approached him. She placed her hand on his chest and looked into his eyes, convincing him to return to the conversation. "I'm sorry. I had no idea that you felt so strongly about it. I just didn't know."

He blinked in surprise, wondering what part of his angry rant had made her soften. He went to cross his arms again and step away, but her hand stilled him.

She smiled, less sadly, and placed her other hand on his face. "I'm sorry he put you through that. And I'm sorry I brought it up,"

He shrugged. "Whatever."

She shook her head. "No, not 'whatever,' Squall… I'm sorry." She ran her hand down his neck and let it rest in the curve by his shoulder.

He sighed. "Like you said, you didn't know."

"Now I do," she nodded. "And you shouldn't hate him over me," she ran the hand on his chest down to his stomach. He flinched beneath her fingertips. She leaned in to him and placed her lips by his ear. "I don't care about him the way you think I do. It doesn't matter who had who first - all that matters is you have me now, right?" She looked into his eyes, giving him a look that encouraged him to believe her.

He wasn't sure what had changed, but her words were sweet and he wanted more. He didn't respond, which did not satisfy her in the least.

She leaned in again and brushed her lips against his. Her lips moved back to his ear. "I'm here with you, now. I'm not going anywhere."

He felt the shudder climb down his spine as he felt her breath on his ear. He scolded himself for being so humbled by her words and so weakened by her actions. He hated that he wanted to hear her say it. She did it intentionally too, he knew it. But his instincts overwhelmed his pride. His hands wrapped around her hips as he placed his lips onto hers eagerly.

He gently pressed her back against a nearby wall and used its support as he trailed his lips down her neck. He pressed his body against hers along with his lips.

Stunned by the sudden intensity he was showing her, Rinoa's heart raced in her chest and released a small moan. She felt like the air had been sucked from the room. It surprised her, but it didn't frighten her in the least. He came back to her mouth.

"Squall," she breathed in between kisses.

There was a loud knock at his door. They both froze and looked at each other, as if the other knew who was at the door. When they both looked at each other quizzically, Squall sighed and released her from his grasp.

He opened the door, wondering who was on the other side. So help him, if it was one of his friends, they'd better think twice and back away from the door - now. But it was Xu was standing in the doorway.

She smiled and waved happily. "Hey, Squall," she said.

He sighed to himself. He'd almost wished it was someone he could lash out on.

"What's up, Xu?" he asked.

"Sorry to bother you," she apologized, sincerity in her voice. "But a call's come in for you through the mainline. It's Cid." She shrugged. "I tried to take it for you, but I guess it's something important."

"Okay," he nodded. "I'll be up there in a second."

She nodded, then turned and left. Squall closed the door behind her. Rinoa finally released the laughter she was holding back.

Squall turned and eyed her. "You think this is funny?"

Rinoa nodded. "Kind of," she said. "I think fate might be against us."

He laughed, too, which surprised him. "Maybe," he said, lifting his palm.

He scratched the back of his head. "I guess I'd better take that call."

"I'll see you later, then?" she said as she turned to go.

* * *

Quistis awoke slowly, her eyes still closed. She breathed in and smiled, recognizing his scent. She opened her eyes and watched as he slept like a stone. She kissed his cheek, then looked over at the clock. It read 08:38am. Her eyes widened.

"Hey," she said, shoving him gently. He stirred a bit, but seemed to ignore her.

"Hey," she repeated, shoving him harder. He opened one eye, glared at her, and closed it again. Quistis couldn't help but laugh. She leaned down beside his face.

"I have to go," she said. She went to get out of bed, but he grabbed her arm and stopped her.

"Come here," he said, pulling on her arm.

She laughed and allowed herself to fall back down on the bed. "Selphie's gonna kill me if I miss breakfast," she said.

"Selphie's crazy," he said, finally opening his eyes. "One more time, before you go."

As he suspected she would, she lovingly obliged.

Afterward, she got out of bed and threw her dress back on. She shoved on her pumps and pulled her hair up.

She leaned over and kissed his lips gently. She went to pull away, but he placed his hand behind her head and stilled her. She began to feel aroused again and pulled away. She smiled deviously at him.

"See you later, love." She turned to go and he spanked her she passed.

"Later," he said, and she laughed.

* * *

There was a loud rapping on the door first thing the next morning. Squall's eye popped open at the noise. He wondered if it was even daybreak yet. He observed the clock - 7:15a.m. The banging was loud and insistent - he knew it wouldn't go away any time soon. He sighed. Yep, that was probably Selphie.

Squall sat up, shoving the covers off of him. He rubbed his tired eyes and yawned. The banging grew louder, and he glared in the direction of the door.

"Dammit, Selphie," he shouted. "I'm coming,"

"Ohmigod Squall!" he heard her shout through the door, "WOW! How'd you know it was me? That's crazy!"

He put his face into his hand, a familiar gesture that he didn't seem to use much anymore, until Selphie was around. He groaned. He stood from the bed and inched his way slowly to the door, grateful that the noise had finally ceased.

"Hurry it up, will you?" she called.

Squall seriously contemplated picking up the nearby toaster off the counter, ripping it from the wall and smashing her head in with it. She'd never see it coming. It would be quick. It was tempting, but that _was_ his only toaster. Maybe he'd use his fists instead... He opened the door, eyes half-open, and Selphie cheered ecstatically. He covered his ears with his hands.

"Hi, Squall!" she screeched, launching herself toward him and leaping into his arms.

He caught her carefully and was taken off-balance by it. He thought of dropping her right there, labeling that as the reason. But he didn't. He sighed. He was a pretty nice guy after all, it seemed. He placed her down and she spent a little time eyeing him provocatively.

"Man," she growled. "Nice bod, Squall. Can I take a sip from that six pack?" She giggled hysterically, obviously amused with herself.

Squall rolled his eyes. Normally he'd have quite an issue with answering the door half-naked. That wasn't exactly his style. But at the moment, he was tired, he was pissed, and it was the last thing he cared about.

"What?" he said, cocking a brow and crossing his arms over his chest. "Irvine's physique not up to standard?"

Selphie ceased her laughter. Her hands went to her hips and her eyes narrowed. "Hey," she frowned. "How would _I_ know that, anyway?"

"You don't wake him up at seven every morning, too?" Squall blinked, then inquisitively put his hand to his chin. "Oh, I get it. You've just been trying to see _me_ naked," he decided with a nod of his head. "That makes more sense."

"That may be true," Selphie smirked, "but for your in-for-mation, Commander," she said, poking his chest with her finger, "it just so happens that, yes, I wake _everyone_ up, _every_ morning, at seven. How else would your lazy ass ever get out of bed?"

He certainly wasn't lazy, but he thought to himself for a while, and wondered if he really would get up without having a reason to do so. He wasn't so sure about that. His bed _was_ comfortable...

"Hey Selphie!" Squall heard Rinoa's voice, normally soft and lovely, but in the early morning, loud and piercing, as she approached them in the hallway.

"AHHH RINOA!" Selphie screamed.

Selphie shoved Squall aside without any real reason needing to and he hit the door with a thud. The girls made a bunch of squealing and screeching noises and jumped up and down, and Squall was reaffirmed in his belief that women have some secret language they weren't sharing with the other gender.

"The noise..." he mumbled, his ears ringing.

"Ohmigod Rinoa! How was Esthar?!" Selphie asked.

"Great! How was your trip?!" Rinoa asked back, equally excited.

"I'll tell you all about it," Selphie gushed, waving her hand. "Get your asses up and get dressed. We'll talk about it over breakfast."

Rinoa nodded, smiling brightly. "Okay!" she agreed.

"Come here, Angelo!" Selphie called, and Angelo wagged her tail happily. Selphie ruffled the dog's fur and ears. "I missed you, yes I did," Selphie cooed, and Angelo barked. Selphie stood and put her hand out.

"Give me the leash - I'll walk her. You two!" she eyed Squall especially, who was now sprawled out on the couch, "Hurry it up!" she commanded.

Rinoa nodded, handing over the leash and patting Angelo on the head.

"Have fun with Selphie!" she said, and Angelo licked her face. "Eww," Rinoa giggled, wiping her cheek with the back of her hand.

"You have ten minutes before I come back here," Selphie warned, and she and Angelo were out the door.

Rinoa looked to Squall on his couch and noticed his appearance. She lifted a curious brow.

"Coming in?" he asked.

She nodded and obliged. Squall kicked the door shut behind her and scoffed.

Rinoa laughed. "Good to be home, huh?"

"Great," his eyes rolled.

* * *

When the six were finally reunited in the cafeteria everyone hugged excitedly. Squall a little less excitedly, but he didn't have much of a choice. He didn't want to seem like a total ass, and besides, he _had_ missed them - a little.

They all got their food and sat at their usual table. Ever since the day Selphie had screamed at someone for sitting at 'her' table, it was left pretty much alone. The cafeteria staff was too scared to even clean it off sometimes.

Irvine, Quistis, Selphie and Zell talked about their camping trip. Quistis handed Squall and Rinoa pictures. Rinoa laughed at a few of them and Squall couldn't help but smirk, too.

"Wow, look at Selphie's face," Rinoa pointed. "You were terrified,"

"Oh what-ever," Selphie rolled her eyes. "Have you _seen_ the other pictures? Those guys were waaay more scared than me,"

"Shut up, Selphie," Zell said. "You were the last one in, scaredy-cat,"

"At least I'm not a chicken-wuss," Selphie glared.

"It's the same thing," Zell shrugged. "Just reversed, with different animals and similar adjectives."

Selphie blinked. "Did Zell just say something smart?" she asked the others.

"Smart for a dummy like you," he rolled his eyes.

She slammed her fists on the table. "Dincht! I swear to God, I'm gonna beat your ass so bad, you'll-"

"It looks like you guys had so much fun," Rinoa said as she flipped through the pictures. "I wish I'd been able to go!"

"We'll go again, definitely," Selphie nodded. "You gotta try it, Rinoa. You're not scared of heights, are you?"

"Not... Particularly," Rinoa stretched.

"Tell us about Esthar, guys," Quistis suggested.

"Yeah," Selphie rolled her eyes. "Esthar is sooooo interesting," she mocked, and Zell laughed.

"Yeah, man," Zell said to Squall, "what the hell'd you have to go out there for, anyway?"

Squall shrugged. "A number of things," he replied.  
Short, sweet, and entirely vague - Squall's specialty.

"We spent most of the time with Ellone and Laguna," Rinoa said, filling in the spacious gap a bit. "It was great. They're really cool."

"Jealous," Selphie said. "Wish I could spend the day with them. Especially President Mr.-hot-middle-aged-dude. Yum,"

Rinoa laughed, and Squall thought he tasted a little vomit in his mouth.

"It was fun," Rinoa admitted.

"How's Ellone?" Quistis asked.

"Great," Rinoa nodded. "She's very happy there. She says hello, and that she'll come to Balamb to visit soon."

"Oh, darn!" Selphie groaned. "I'll be in Trabia! I miss out on all of the fun," she crossed her arms and pouted her lips.

"We, uh," Rinoa began hesitantly, looking to Squall carefully, "learned some interesting things about Squall, too." He shot her an annoyed look, but she shrugged, giving him a guilty smile. He'd have to tell them eventually, and there was no time like the present.

"Squall? Interesting?" Selphie gawked. "Now you've got my attention,"

"Finally something does," Squall rolled his eyes. Selphie stuck her tongue at him, and he thought of plucking it from her mouth.

"What is it, Squall?" Quistis asked, genuinely interested.

Squall leaned back in his seat, his arms over his chest. "Laguna Loire is my father," he stated.

"What!" the others exclaimed. Zell spit out his coffee, most of it landing on Quistis, who glared at him.

"Laguna who is WHAT?" Selphie asked, wide-eyed.

"Do I have to say it again?" he asked Rinoa, and she shook her head, smiling at him.

"I think they get it," she said.

"Wow, that sure is interesting," Quistis said, wiping herself off with a napkin. "But, you know, it kind of makes sense."

Squall rolled his eyes. _Yes, everyone is psychic. They all saw it coming. It's so obvious._

"'Makes sense?'" Selphie repeated. "Excuse me - but wasn't Laguna with Rinoa's mother?"

"Gross, Selphie," Squall groaned, and Rinoa laughed.

"I'm serious!" Selphie protested.

"No. Caraway is her father, remember?" Quistis said.

"Oh yeah," Selphie remembered.

"So, it must have been that woman from Winhill. Ellone's caretaker - Raine," Quistis concluded.

Rinoa nodded. "Ellone was Raine's neice. Laguna wanted to marry Raine before he went to Esthar."

"So it does make sense," Quistis affirmed. "That's why Squall and Ellone were so close from the beginning."

"Oh yeah," Irvine agreed, pondering it over.

"Wow... Sir Laguna," Selphie sighed admirably. "Guess that's where Squall gets his 'cool' from." She glared at him. "Luckyyyy,"

"It's difficult being so popular," Squall shrugged.

"That's big news, Squall," Irvine said. "How do you feel about it?"

"What is this, therapy?" Squall mocked.

"Could be," Irvine shrugged. Squall scoffed in reply.

"He's still adjusting," Rinoa answered strategically.

"What a crazy week," Selphie said, and the others agreed.

 _That's for sure,_ Squall thought. "I also have a job for us," he said.

"What kind of job?" Quistis asked.

"Esthar is in the process of colonizing Centra. He would like us to use the Ragnarok to assist him in delivering supplies," Squall answered.

"Wow, cool!" Selphie said.

Squall shrugged. "Frankly, I'd rather hire someone to handle the deliveries. I'd rather... 'Supervise,' if you will."

"He doesn't wanna work," Selphie clarified.

"In a sense," he sighed. "Just keep your eyes out for someone."

The others nodded and they discussed the project for a while, chattering excitedly about the potential of a new world in Centra. Once they were finished with breakfast, the six made plans to meet back up later and began going their separate ways.

"Hey, Quistis," Squall said as she began to leave, "hang back for a second."

She turned to him and offered a smile. "Yeah, Squall?"

He pulled her aside as Rinoa resumed talking with the others.

"I have a favor to ask of you and Selphie," he began.

"Us?" she asked, then smiled coyly. "Oh, I get it - a 'girl mission.' Something for Rinoa?"

He nodded and handed her the plastic key card. She looked at it suspiciously.

"Um, Squall," she said, "why are you giving me your room key?" She narrowed her eyes.

"It's a key to a new room Cid got... For the two of us."

"You and me?" she flashed her lashes.

"No, Rinoa and I," he rolled his eyes.

She covered her mouth as she giggled. She waved her hand and shook her head. "I'm sorry. You just make it so easy." She shook it off. "Okay. I'll be serious. What can I do for you?"

"I want you to go into town and get some stuff for her. You know, things girls need."

"...Like, feminine products?" she eyed him in confusion.

He was seriously regretting his decision to ask for her help. "Like, fucking candles and shit, shit women put in their houses."

"Oh," Quistis said. "Right. Guess she doesn't have much stuff here, huh?" He shook his head, and she nodded. "That's real nice of you, Squall," she smiled, and he brushed the compliment aside.

"Just get her what she needs. And make sure she likes it."

"What does she like?" Quistis shrugged.

"Please, like I would know," Squall said. "That's why I'm asking you."

She laughed at his honesty, but at least he knew himself well enough to be prepared. She nodded. "Okay. I can handle it." She eyed him coyly. "Moving in together... Kind of a big step, don't you think?"

"I am absolutely focused on not thinking about that at present," Squall told her. "I'm focusing on those new apartments."

"The big ones?!" Quistis said with surprise. "Ugh! Jealous!"

He handed her a wad of bills and she stuck it into her skirt pocket. "It's 5,000," he said. "Try not to spend it all," he rolled his eyes.

 _Such a male comment_ \- it made her want to spend it all. But she nodded obligingly. "I'll get Selphie now. It's the perfect decoy. Give us a few hours, and we'll be done."

"Quistis," he pressed.

"Yeah?"

"Don't spend it all," he repeated, and she laughed, disappearing from the cafeteria and pulling a confused Selphie away with her.

Rinoa blinked at their sudden disappearance, then said goodbye to Irvine and Zell. She went back over to Squall and smiled.

"Secret Seifer talk?" she asked with a grin.

 _Again with the vomit taste_. "Ugh," he groaned. "Please."

"What's on the agenda for today?" she asked.

"Nothing really," he said. "Tomorrow we'll talk about Timber. We'll get Zone and Watts and leave after Selphie's party. I have to get some work done now, for a while."

"That's cool," she shrugged. "I'll see what the girls are up to,"

He thought for a moment, then realized that he probably should have planned out this surprise a little better.

" _Actually_ ," Squall mentioned, "they're busy doing something for Garden. But you know, Irvine mentioned wanting to do something,"

Rinoa nodded. "Okay. That would be fun." He nodded too, glad that had worked. "So I'll see you later?" she smiled.

"Yeah. Sure," he watched as she left. He really did have work to get done, but before heading upstairs he had something of a little more urgency to take care of. He pulled his phone from his jacket pocket and flipped it open. He dialed a number and held it to his ear.

 _"Yeah?"_ Irvine asked on the other end.

"Irvine," Squall said.

 _"Yes, Squall. This is my number. What's up?"_

Squall thought of scrutinizing him for his tone, but he kind of needed the guy's help at the moment, so he bit his tongue. "I need you to do something for me,"

 _"Okay. What is it?"_

"I need you to distract Rinoa for a couple of hours."

 _"I can do that,"_ he agreed. _"How do you want me to do it?"_

"I don't know," Squall snapped. "You've been on dates, right? You know how to entertain girls,"

Irvine chuckled. _"Are you sure you want me to do that with your girlfriend? It seems wrong, but, for you, I'd do anything,"_

"Irvine," Squall growled, his patience wearing thinner by the moment as Irvine laughed. "Just... Distract her, okay? Take her to a movie or something. Go fishing. I don't care."

 _"Hey, that's not a bad idea,"_ Irvine said. _"Fishing would be fun. We could go to Balmb for the day,"_

 _Dammit_ , Squall thought. "No, don't go to Balamb," he commanded. "Stay away from Balamb, and stay away from the dorms in Garden. Okay? Anywhere else is acceptable."

 _"Hmph,"_ he huffed. _"I guess I'll just take her to the library, then,"_

"Hey, she might actually like that," Squall said, rolling his eyes.

 _"So what do I get out of all of this, anyway?_ " Irvine asked. _"A free kiss?"_ he suggested. _"From her, of course..."_

"Touch her and die," Squall warned, his voice cold.

Irvine laughed. _"Okay, fine. But you owe me,"_

"Yeah," Squall agreed. "Thanks, Irvine," he said and flipped the phone shut before awaiting a reply.

 _At least that's taken care of... Now I can at least try to get some work done around this place._

* * *

The girls finished their shopping quicker than expected. Shopping was rarely a quick thing with Selphie, especially when it came to shiny appliances. But Quistis already had her mind made up about what she wanted, and Selphie simply assisted her in picking them out.

They kept things pretty limited, as Quistis knew Squall would probably kill her for filling their room with pink plush and flowers. She laughed, wondering if she should light candles and throw some rose pedals around the apartment. It couldn't hurt.

"This is surprisingly romantic of him," Selphie noted.

"I know," Quistis laughed. "I doubt he's even aware of it."

"Aww, that makes it even more romantic!" Selphie cooed. She crossed her arms and rolled her eyes. "Wish I had a guy to put cool stuff in my room," she complained.

"Careful what you wish for," Quistis heeded.

"Please," Selphie groaned. "There's more chocobos in Trabia than men."

"True," Quistis agreed. They loaded the boxes into the car and Quistis closed the trunk. "Selphie, don't you think you should at least talk to Irvine?" she asked.

"What? Why?" Selphie said.

"Because, he obviously likes you," Quistis rolled her eyes. "And I think you like him, too." She lifted her palm. "So, why not at least talk to the guy about trying to make it work?"

"Because," Selphie seethed, "be-cause, I'm leaving soon, and I'm not gonna get hooked on some guy I'll never see!" She threw down her fists.

"You don't know if you'll get hooked," Quistis said. "And besides, long distance isn't so bad."

"Unlike you, Quistis, I'd have a boyfriend that was actually a pleasure to be around," Selphie snapped.

Quistis frowned and crossed her arms, offended by that. "Hey, come on," Quistis said. "Seifer is most certainly a pleasure to be around,"

"If he's doin' you, maybe," Selphie said, her eyes on the ground and her foot kicking at the dirt in frustration.

"Not the point," Quistis held up her hand, changing the subject back. "Come on - you know you can make it work. So what's stopping you? You don't like him?"

"Of course I like him," Selphie rolled her eyes, and let out a frustrated sigh. "It's just too complicated. I don't wanna deal with it."

"More complicated that ignoring your feelings for the majority of your life?" Quistis inquired.

"Yes! Okay?" Selphie groaned. "Can we just go back to Garden, now? I don't wanna talk about it."

Quistis grinned. "Looks like you could use a lesson from Squall," she suggested.

"Quistis, I swear, I will destroy these boxes," Selphie said, pointing to the trunk of the car.

"Okay, okay," Quistis said, holding her hands up in defeat.

They climbed into the car.

"You could also talk to him about some anger management techniques," she added as they pulled out of Balamb.

"I will destroy you, Quistis," Selphie warned.

Quistis sighed. "Come on, Selph," Quistis said, rolling her eyes. "Obviously it's a touchy subject for you. It wouldn't be that way if you didn't really like him."

They stayed quiet for a moment, and Quistis thought that was the end of the conversation. After a while, she heard the brunette's faint voice.

"I don't wanna take the chance," Selphie mumbled, her eyes glued to the scenery.

Quistis took a moment to smile at her friend. She understood how she felt. She knew it was scary. But there was something she needed to know. "Selphie, in life, there are chances," Quistis began. "If you take a chance, sometimes good things happen, and sometimes bad things happen."

Selphie looked up, giving the instructor her full attention.

Quistis smiled again. "But, honey, if you never take a chance, then nothing happens."

Selphie considered what she'd said for a moment, before sighing and turning back to the window.

"Besides," Quistis mused, "there's no better bet than love."

* * *

"Oooh look! I got one!" Rinoa cheered, clapping her hands excitedly.

Irvine nodded, observing the empty place where the tin can had once been. "Good shot," he said.

"Let's use that scatter stuff you have," she suggested.

"Whoa, that stuff's dangerous," he warned, experiencing a faint deja-vu as he remembered saying the same thing before, in these same woods...

Rinoa shrugged. She was an easier sell than Zell or Selphie. "Okay. What about the Pulse Ammo?"

"Ehh," he thought it over, adjusting the rim of his hat. "I dunno... That stuff's pretty powerful,"

"Come on!" Rinoa whined. "Let's bring on the heat!"

Irvine rolled his eyes. "Geeze, what did those cans ever do to you, anyway? Maybe they have can families,"

Rinoa laughed. "Come oooon," she begged.

"Fine," he agreed. "But if you die, Squall will kill me. No, he'd probably do worse. And I don't wanna think about that."

Rinoa nodded in agreement.

"So don't fuck up," he smiled, cocking his brow. He tossed her the shotgun back, and she eyed it curiously.

"Umm," she said as she fumbled with the weapon.

"You do know which ammo it is, right?" he asked, doubtful.

"I mean, yeah, I know what it does!" she dug through the shells, pulling out a few at a time and observing them. "I'm just... Not exactly sure what it looks like,"

Irvine sighed, but he had to look on the bright side. _This will certainly eat up a few hours of our time._

* * *

Zell was happily munching on an apple as he talked to an old classmate in the parking deck. How'd he ended up there had been a casual series of events. He was stopped so much on the way back to his dorm that he grew hungry again and decided to trek back to the cafeteria. There, he noticed a few of his old friends and they began to catch up.

Now he was there in the parking deck, observing some guy's new wheels. He chewed the bits of apple between his teeth and swallowed delightfully.

"Whoa man, careful," the student said. "You'll get apple juice on the new paint!"

Zell rolled his eyes. "What a shame that would be,"

A car pulled into the parking deck. The noise made Zell look over and notice Quistis and Selphie pulling up. He approached them as they parked, leaving no explanation to his acquaintances for his departure. Selphie jumped out with enthusiasm and Quistis got out after her.

"Hiya, Zell!" Selphie chirped. "What'cha doin' here?"

He shrugged. "Looking at some loser's car," he pointed his thumb over his shoulder.

"Wow, nice car," Selphie blinked, then narrowed her eyes. "He _looks_ like a loser," she said, noticing the boy leaning on the hood proudly.

"Bully, much?" Quistis rolled her eyes.

Zell nodded, and the boys shrunk back as they overheard the scrutiny. "Yeah. They're lame. So what are you girls doing?"

"We were out shopping," Quistis said.

"Thought you were napping," he said.

"Thought _you_ were, too," Selphie noted. "Mr. I-miss-my-bed,"

Zell shrugged. "Yeah. I was on my way, and somehow got sidetracked to the parking lot."

"Sounds like you," Quistis nodded.

"And it sounds like you girls got sidetracked... With shopping," he cocked a brow as he observed the boxes.

"Comment any more, and I will end you," Selphie warned.

Zell shrugged off her idle threat. "You guys need help with the stuff?" he offered.

The girls eagerly nodded in agreement.

"Could always use the help of a strong man," Selphie gushed.

"Don't sound so nice, Selphie," Zell said. "It doesn't suit you."

Selphie's face grew red and she huffed. "Zell! You IDIOT! You are such a-"

"Thatta girl," Zell nodded with approval. "Much better."

Quistis laughed as the three fumbled with the boxes in their arms. They took off towards the dorms. The bystanders shrunk back as they passed.

"You know, people probably wouldn't be so afraid of us if you were nicer to them," Quistis scolded them.

"They damn well _better_ be afraid of us," Selphie said, and Zell nodded in agreement.

Quistis rolled her eyes. "Jerks."

* * *

A few minutes after Selphie arrived in her room, there was a knock at her door. She jumped off her bed and went to the door to answer it. Irvine stood on the other side, holding a whiskey bottle in one hand and tape in the other, boxes pinned under his arm.

"A little early for drinking, no?" she asked, raising a brow and giving him a playful smile.

"It's never too early for whiskey, dear Selphie," Irvine noted.

"Careful," she said, stepping aside to let him in and helping him with the boxes. "People will start to think you're an alcoholic."

"People would probably be right," he responded, and she shoved him playfully. He looked around at her room and his jaw dropped.

"Geeze, Selphie – ever hear of doing laundry?" he asked, noting the piles of clothes strewn about the room.

Selphie shrugged. "Whatever! I'm super busy all the time." She lifted a finger. "Badasses have no time for such tedious tasks."

"Whatever you say," he said with a roll of his eyes. He started assembling a box. "Get some glasses, would you?" he asked.

She nodded obediently and retrieved two glasses from the kitchen. She sat them on the table and poured each half-full with the whiskey.

Irvine raised a brow. "Who's the alcoholic now?" he asked, lifting the glass to his eye-level to observe the practically full glass.

"Go hard or go home," Selphie said. She powered on her stereo and turned on some upbeat music.

"Let's do this," he agreed. They clinked their glasses together and took a sip, both scrunching their faces at the taste.


	17. I'm going to punch you in the face

When her meeting was finished, Quistis escaped out into the second floor hallway. She took her phone from her pocket and checked it again. She frowned.

 _Still no reply...?_

She checked that her message had sent, again, and checked the time that had passed. It had been almost two days since she'd sent it.

 _I hope everything's okay_...

She knew that everything was probably in fact okay, that his lack of response was more due to him brooding over something. She hadn't spoken with him since that night and wasn't sure what to make of his lack of response.

 _I guess I'll have to chase him down and find out for myself,_ she rolled her eyes. She checked the time on her phone.

 _A few more classes, then I'll have to make the trip myself..._

She wondered if she could convince Nida to take Garden to FH. _What excuse could I even give them?_ She shook her head. Garden was stationed in Centra by the white SeeD ship. There wasn't much she could do. She sat back at her desk and leaned on her face in her palm and her elbow on the desk.

 _What's your deal, Seifer?_

* * *

"SEIFER," Fujin called.

He heard her, but he ignored her as he continued to swing his gunblade.

"SEIFER!" Fujin shouted this time.

"Fujin," Seifer said, turning and looking at her in annoyance. "What is it? It's not hard to see that I'm training. So what the hell do you want?"

"Don't get PISSY with ME," she scolded him. "Now take a DAMN BREAK. You've been out here for days."

"Don't exaggerate," he rolled his eyes.

"Oh yeah?" she laughed. "I haven't seen you EAT or SLEEP once in TWO DAYS."

Seifer leaned on his gunblade and laughed. "Stalking me, are you Fujin?"

"SHUT UP," she threw her hand out. "EAT SOMETHING."

"Fine," he grumbled, swinging his gunblade over his shoulder. He dragged his feet as he walked back into the house, suddenly feeling the deep fatigue.

 _Damn Fujin, taking me out of the zone..._

He leaned his gunblade against the wall and plopped down at the kitchen table. He looked to Fujin expectantly, and she raised a brow at him in confusion.

"Well?" he asked.

"Well WHAT?" she lifted her hands.

"Where's the food, then?" He looked side to side.

"FUCK YOU," she laughed. "I'm not your MAID or your MOTHER. Make your OWN DAMN FOOD."

"If that ain't some bullshit..." Seifer grumbled as he stood and made his way to the refrigerator. He opened it and began to shift through its contents.

Rajin came into the kitchen. "Yo, Seifer!" He took a seat at the table. "Finally taking a break, then?"

Seifer ignored him as he continued his quest through the fridge.

"What's with all the training, ya know?" Rajin lifted his palms. "Preparing for something?"

"I don't need a reason to train," Seifer said, pulling multiple leftover cartons of food from the fridge and kicking the door closed with his foot.

"Uh, yeah you do," Rajin laughed. "You're a lazy son of a bitch during times of peace." He grabbed one of the containers from Seifer and began to eat.

"Fuck you, Rajin," Seifer eyed him.

"Fuck you too," Rajin replied.

"Fuck BOTH OF YOU," Fujin said.

"I love our friendship, ya know?" Rajin beamed. "You guys are the best."

"SHUT UP," Fujin commanded, throwing a mobile down on the table. "SEIFER, YOUR PHONE."

Seifer shrugged. "Yeah? So?"

"It's been RINGING." Fujin also took a container from Seifer and began to eat. He grumbled at both of them.

"That's what phones do," Seifer said, stuffing his face with the food he had left. He hadn't noticed how seriously hungry he'd been.

"Yes, then people ANSWER THEM," Fujin rolled her eye.

"Who the hell is calling _you_ , anyway? Ya know? Your posse's all here," Rajin smacked his head and laughed. "Oh right, the instructor," he gave another hearty laugh.

"Most definitely the INSTRUCTOR," Fujin laughed with him.

"Shut up, both of you," Seifer snapped. "Don't take your celibate jealousy out on me."

"Pssh, whatever, I score all the time," Rajin said, giving himself a thumbs up.

"That's where the HERPES came from," Fujin said, and Seifer laughed, choking a bit on his food.

"Fuck you, Fujin!" Rajin said.

"Fuck you," Fujin replied.

"Fuck both of you," Seifer finished. He took a moment to look at his phone and frowned.

 _...A nap... Then I'll call,_ he decided.

* * *

Irvine hesitated for a moment before heading up to the bridge. He quadruple-checked that he had everything with him. He knew this was very much an attempt at procrastination, but he eagerly indulged himself.

After days of considering his options, he finally decided to follow through with his plans. The difficult part would be telling the others – but once he turned in these documents, there was no going back. He took a deep breath and got on the elevator.

Xu was behind the desk, where she gave him a winning smile. She stood, and they exchanged a salute.

"Hey, Galbadia," she teased, inviting him to take a seat with her hand.

"Hey, Balambi," he replied, removing his hat and giving her a proper bow. He handed her the file in his hand and accepted her offer, taking the seat in front of her desk.

"So, it's all here?" she asked absentmindedly as she sat and did a brief flip thru of the documents.

"Should be," he replied.

She thumbed through the papers for a moment while he waited. After a while, she nodded to herself, then looked at him.

"Irvine, you're really sure about this?"

Irvine nodded. "I've given it extensive thought. I want to go through with the transfer."

She gave him a sad smile and tilted her head a bit. "It's a shame. Balamb Garden has enjoyed ownership over a sharp-shooter." She grinned at him.

"The sharp-shooter has enjoyed being in your service," he said flirtatiously. "But, sadly, it's time for us to part ways."

"You break my cold mercenary heart," she teased, and they laughed.

Irvine realized that he quite liked Xu, and wished he'd had more time to get to know her. They seemed to share the same sense of humor. But he had more important things on his mind.

Xu placed a document in front of him and held out a pen, but withdrew it at the last moment.

"All joking aside," she gave him a serious look, "You're really sure? You know you can always come back, but I am required to ensure that every cadet has been fully informed of their options."

Irvine nodded in reply. "I'm sure," he confirmed.

"Well," she said, handing him the pen. "Whatever you choose, we wish you all the best, and thank you for your service."

"Thank you," he said, giving her his brilliant smile.

"Autograph here," she pointed out the spot on the document.

Irvine paused for a moment, then signed. He handed it back to Xu, and she gave him a nod.

"When's the going away party?" she asked.

Irvine shrugged and lifted his hand. "Selphie's party is in a few days – I figured I'd just mooch off of hers."

"Well, if she's cool with it," Xu also shrugged.

"I guess I should check," he figured. "By the way... I haven't told anyone yet that I'm transferring."

"Really?" Xu raised a brow, placing the pen to her lips.

"Really," he confirmed. "So, if you could keep this between us for now...?"

"Of course," she agreed. "You'd better hurry – you know they won't appreciate the surprise."

Irvine nodded. "You're right about that."

Xu smiled at him, then extended her hand. He took it and shook hers with a firm grip. "Be ever prosperous, Galbadia-kun."

"And you, Balambi," he replied.

* * *

The air was warm with sun and laced with a cool gentle breeze. Quistis enjoyed a cup of tea as she people watched in the Quad. She watched a young cadet interrupt a couple's stroll so he could pick a flower for his company. After he gave it to her they embraced, and Quistis shook her head with a smile.

 _Some things are that simple,_ she thought.

She'd skipped out on dinner with the others to have some time to herself. Not that she didn't have plenty of alone time recently, but she wasn't quite up to being with her friends. She felt a little guilty about neglecting what little time she had left with Selphie, but she'd spent the morning with her, and she knew her friend would understand. Quistis had a lot on her mind.

Upon her return from Dollet, Quistis had received a promotion from Xu as lead instructor. She wasn't sure she'd ever understand how Garden worked. It seemed she was either unqualified or overly qualified. Sure, she'd been through the war, and sure, she'd changed a lot in the past year. But it was still hard to figure out the thought process of Garden's leaders. She shook her head again.

The older she got, and the less she equipped her GFs, the more she began to wonder if Garden really was a place that made the world better. There was the obvious moral dilemma of killing others for money as a mercenary. But she had believed, as they had all been told, that those they fought were evil, and they had to make a living somehow. Garden removed evil, supported good political causes, housed orphans, and gave aimless children a direction. Did Garden really help those in need?

 _Or do we take advantage of them?_

Her devotion to Garden had never wavered before. Her purpose had always been clear. For the first time in her life, she was unsure of herself and her purpose. Questioning purpose was normal – wondering if you were justified in killing so many people was a different matter.

 _Where would I go, if not here? What would I do?_

Along with the insecurity of her moral dilemma, she also worried about the futures of her friends. She was upset that Selphie was leaving. She was worried about what would happen to Rinoa. She wasn't sure what would become of Seifer.

 _Seifer_.

Her brow furrowed and she frowned at the thought of him. She finished the remainder of her tea and let out a long sigh. In addition to her general worries about his safety, well-being and future, now she had to wonder why he was avoiding her.

 _Fucking brood,_ she mentally scoffed. _He needs to learn to get a hold over that angst._

In her opinion, it was childish. She understood that he had pain. She understood that he had issues. But didn't everyone? Did he really need so much time spent being frustrated and alone? She sighed again, leaning her head onto her crossed arms.

 _It hasn't been that long since everything happened to him, but... Why am I the one being pushed away?_

She was tempted to check her phone again, and huffed instead.

 _I am so sick of checking that phone. Who cares. If he wants to avoid me, so be it. I'm sick of worrying about it._

She resolved to head to the library and find a good book to kill the time. Just as she stood to leave, her phone rang. She stopped herself from retrieving it too excitedly, but her heart had skipped a beat. She removed her phone from her pocket and frowned at the screen.

 _Selphie._

Quistis placed the phone to her ear. "What's up, Selphie?"

" _Beach bonfire time,"_ Selphie cheered. " _You up for it?_ "

"Yeah, definitely," Quistis nodded. _Who would say no so a beach bonfire?_  
It would also help occupy her thoughts from something other than her self-loathing and stupid Seifer.

" _Awesooooomeee. We'll meet at the gate at 20:00._ "

"See you then," Quistis said, then ended the call. It was sunset but she had a few hours. She'd head to the library anyway, it seemed.

As she crossed the threshold back inside Garden, her phone rang again. Quistis looked at her screen. This time her heart really did jump. She went back out into the Quad and almost answered it.

Then she frowned. She was pretty peeved that he seemed to always be on his own schedule, completely disregarding her feelings along the way.

She sighed again. Nothing would be solved by _not_ talking to him, and she wasn't up for playing cat-and-mouse games, anyway.

 _Hence my perpetual singledome._ She rolled her eyes.

She hit the answer button and lifted the phone to her ear. "Decided to stop avoiding me, huh?"

" _I haven't been avoiding you,_ "

"You have," she corrected. He didn't respond, but she stubbornly waited for him to explain himself.

" _...Perhaps you could say I've been avoiding everyone,_ " he offered.

"Shocking," Quistis said, rolling her eyes again. She took a seat on a nearby bench.

" _It's not that big of a deal -"_

"Don't bullshit me, Seifer," Quistis interrupted him. She refused to be blamed for feeling neglected. It had been well over a week since they'd spoken, and truth be told she missed him. It bothered her that he didn't seem to feel the same way.

They shared a long pause, while he waited for her to say anything and she continued to wait for his explanation. She heard him sigh after a while.

" _Okay, fine. I was a dick. I'm sorry."_

"Thank you," she responded, pleased that it didn't take him as long as she thought it would to apologize. "So, what's going on with you?"

" _I'd rather not talk about it._ "

"Seifer..." she sighed.

" _...At least, not now."_

She accepted his response. "I want to see you," she told him.

He paused again for a moment. " _I want to see you, too."_

"Can you come here?" She was almost positive he would refuse any request to come to Garden. Truthfully, they had no other way to see each other at the present moment.

" _I'll come_ ," he agreed, and Quistis raised her brows in surprise.

"Really?"

"... _Yeah. I'll come,"_ he assured her.

"Tonight?" she asked hopefully.

" _Sure,_ " he agreed.

"If you can stand it, the others and I will have a bonfire on the beach. It'll be nice."

" _Coming to Garden is one thing... Dealing with your friends is another._ "

Quistis rolled her eyes. "Cause you don't know them or anything. Look, I understand, I know they're not your favorite people, but we can hang back by ourselves. And if you really can't handle seeing them, you could come afterwards."

" _Of course I can_ handle _it,_ " he said spitefully. " _I'm not so easily defeated._ "

"As I hoped," Quistis grinned, her tone becoming flirtatious. "So," she cooed, "will you come? 20:00."

"... _I'll be there_ ," he promised.

"Thank you, Seifer," Quistis said, genuinely touched that he would not only agree to come to Balamb, but agree to be around the others as well. She couldn't help grinning stupidly. _I knew that jerk cared._

" _Don't think this will become a regular thing,_ " he warned her.

"Sure, sure," Quistis dismissed. "Don't worry, you won't regret pleasing me."

" _I love it when you talk like that..._ "

"Stop," she laughed. "I'll see you soon." She heard a click and checked her screen to confirm that he had indeed ended the call. She shook her head with a grin.

 _This guy..._

Quistis strolled back into Garden, a newfound lightness in her step. She decided to forgo the library and head to her room to gussy up instead.

As she closed the door behind her, she felt herself stop.

 _Man... I was feeling pretty low... And now all of a sudden I feel better?_

She sat on her couch and frowned, a pensive look on her face.

 _Is it really wise to allow someone to have such an effect on my emotions...?_

She decided to brew herself another cup of tea during her internal debate.

 _It's really not that big of a deal, not speaking to him... But it isn't asking much..._

 _Then again, I have to make sure he respects me and my feelings. It's normal for me to want an apology._

She sat back on her couch and placed her mug down, knowing the liquid would burn her if she didn't wait patiently for it to cool. She leaned back and crossed her arms over her chest.

 _This is all because I jumped into this way too fast. Not long ago, we were enemies. The moment we were reunited, we became lovers. It's only been a couple of weeks, and I'm already losing it over this guy._

She shook her head.

 _No. This isn't normal. I have to get a hold of myself._

She threw her arm out, smacking the pillow beside her.

 _How could I let this happen? It's like I haven't taken a single moment to think this through... This isn't like me. I'm normally calculated. I take my time to do things. What the hell has gotten me so impulsive?_

She stood up and headed towards her room.

If he was as much of an important part of her past as she thought he was, then where was the evidence? Where was the proof? She retrieved a box from her closet, placed it on her bed and started ruffling through the contents. She kept mementos from her childhood in it. Pictures, jewelry, small toys, anything that was important enough to not part with.

 _Nothing. There's nothing in here about him._

She slammed the box shut and placed it back in her closet. She sat on her bed and huffed.

 _Whatever's going on here certainly isn't normal infatuation... Is it even normal love? How can I know? How can I be sure?_

Quistis groaned and fell back onto her bed. A few minutes ago she was delighted by the idea of seeing him. Now she wasn't sure she wanted anything to do with him.

 _He's always been hard to deal with. There were so many times I thought I hated him. And now this? What kind of colossal joke is the universe playing?!_

She huffed again and sat back up.

 _Alright, Quistis. Enough of this. You're thinking too much. Drink your tea, chill out. Everything will be okay in the end..._

With her nerves thoroughly frazzled, Quistis decided she was done with the self-reflection. She set her stereo to full volume, played some music and jumped in the shower.  
_

"WHOOOOOOOO!" Selphie cheered as she chucked another piece of wood into the rolling fire, making the fire split and dance around its new meal.

"Enough, Selphie!" Zell shouted. "The fire is _fine_!"

"Only Selphie could somehow set an empty beach on fire," Irvine noted, tipping his hat forward.

Selphie bounced away from the fire and took a seat next to her three friends. The sky was dark but the beach was illuminated by moonlight. The power couple had decided not to join them, and instead go out to Balamb. Selphie was annoyed that they would want to miss out on a beach bonfire, but she was also glad that Squall had finally agreed to take Rinoa on an actual date. She looked over at Quistis and blinked.

"You okay there, Quisty?" She leaned forward. "You've been quiet."

Quistis blinked, coming back into reality. She gave Selphie a smile. "I'm good, Selphie. Thanks."

She checked the time on her phone and nodded to herself. "I should mention that Seifer will be joining us..."

"Seifer?" Selphie blinked. "Cool!" she said with a winning smile.

"Interesting," Irvine commented.

"Oh god dammit," Zell huffed.

"Don't worry, Zell," Quistis laughed. "We'll go off on our own if he starts bothering you."

"You're lucky I like you, Quistis," Zell said, kicking at the sand with his foot.

"Irvine, bust out that guitar!" Selphie demanded, having little interest in Zell's struggle. "Let's hear some tunes!"

"Can do," Irvine agreed, retrieving his guitar from its case.

After a few minutes, Quistis checked her phone. The text from Seifer could not have been more simple.

 _Here._

She stood. "I'm gonna meet him," she told the others. "I'll be back."

"Take your time," Zell said, rolling his eyes. The others laughed.

Quistis rolled her eyes in return and headed away from the shore. It was easy to spot Seifer in the bright moonlight on the empty beach. She couldn't help the childish grin that spread over her face.

When they met, she embraced him. They held one another for a moment in a comfortable silence. When he pulled away, she smiled at him.

"Thanks for coming," she told him.

He nodded, giving her a slight smile. "You missed me," he told her.

"I did," she admitted. "And you?" She raised a brow and placed her hand on her hip. "Did you miss me?"

"Ugh," he scoffed. He lifted the bottle in his hand. "So, I brought gin."

"Gin?" Quistis laughed.

Seifer shrugged. "Figured I'd have to be hammered to deal with the others."

"So dramatic," Quistis rolled her eyes and took the bottle from him. She looked back at the others. "So... You wanna say hi? Or maybe just take a walk..."

"Pssh," Seifer waved his hand. "I don't need to be babied, Quistis. I can say hello to the minions."

Quistis gave him another winning smile and took his hand, leading him towards the others. Seifer wasn't thrilled at being dragged like a school boy, but he dealt with it.

When they were arrived, the others stood. No one said anything for a while, and everyone noticed the awkward silence.

Selphie, of course, was the one willing to break the tension with talking.

"Hey there, Seifer," she gave him an awkward wave.

"Hello, Selphie," he responded.

Irvine gave him a nod, which was returned. Zell kept his gaze aside, which made Seifer smirk.

"Aww, chicken-wuss," Seifer cooed. "Not gonna say hi to your old pal Seifer?"

"I've always hated you," Zell grumbled, crossing his arms over his chest.

"This is true," Seifer said, placing an unwelcome hand on Zell's shoulder, which he immediately shrugged off.

Seifer grinned again. "Which is a shame, since I've always been very fond of you."

"Tell me," Zell said, raising his fist. "Have you ever said anything genuine in your life? You know, something not drenched in sarcasm?"

"Of course," Seifer shrugged. "But that's no fun."

Irvine scratched the back up his head, and Selphie nervously picked at her fingernails.

"Alright, guys, I know it's weird," Quistis finally admitted. "But check it out – Seifer brought gin," she held the bottle out, "as a peace offering. So, let's have a drink, then?"

Seifer blinked. "That... That's mine..."

"I'll be taking the first swig, then," Quistis decided, opening the bottle and placing it to her lips. She took a long swig and had to keep herself from spitting it out. She'd forgotten how much she disliked gin.

"Me next," Selphie said, taking a swig from the bottle herself and making a similar disgusted face.

"A peace offering of alcohol," Irvine noted. "A wise move," he nodded. He took a sip as well and held the bottle out to Zell.

Zell eyed the bottle angrily and crossed his arms again.

"Ah, come on, Zell," Seifer rolled his eyes. "We've been through a lot. I know I'm a dick, I know you hate me. But come on, be the better man and drink the alcohol."

Zell blinked, surprised that Seifer would ever admit his faults. The others seems equally surprised. He hesitated for another moment before taking the bottle.

"I guess I know it's not poisoned, so..." Zell said, putting the bottle to his mouth.

"Ugh," Selphie rolled her eyes. "Thanks a lot, Zell."

"Ugh," Zell said himself at the taste, then wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. He glared back at Seifer.

"Seifer, you're right, we have been through a lot. And we have a lot of reasons to hate you, much less ever trust you again."

"That's fair," Seifer shrugged.

"But Quistis is our friend," Zell added. "We care about her a lot,"

"This is true!" Selphie beamed.

Zell looked pensive for a moment. "So, I'll make you a deal. I'll agree to let bygones be bygones..."

Quistis blinked, and Selphie's mouth dropped open. She looked over at Irvine, who silently continued to watch the interaction.

"If, you do one thing for me," Zell continued, giving Seifer a very serious look.

"Hmm," Seifer pondered, holding his chin. "I'm interested. Alright, Dincht. Lay it on me."

"I'm going to punch you in the face," Zell stated.

The others turned to Zell, wide-eyed. Selphie gasped.

"...What?" Seifer blinked.

"I'm going to punch you in the face, as hard as I possibly can," Zell confirmed.

"Zell, come on," Quistis said. "In the face? As hard as you can? You could break his damn face! Is that really necessary?"

"It's well overdue," Zell said, and Seifer smirked.

To everyone's surprise, Seifer nodded.

"Seifer! What-" Quistis looked to and from each man. "Okay, this is childish. Even if you were serious, we don't have ice, or anything..."

Irvine looked down at the gin bottle in his hand. He lifted it up. "This thing is still pretty cold,"

"Irvine! What!" Quistis shook her head. "You all are being ridiculous. Cut it out. Can't we just hang out by the fire like normal people?"

"Quistis," Zell held up his hand. "If you really want me to forgive him, if you really want to be able to have him around us, this is what needs to be done."

"Zell! You're being ridicu-"

Seifer held his hand up to still her. "Alright. Let's do it."

Quistis covered her face in her hands, then threw them down. "What the hell is happening?!"

"This is awesome," Irvine said to Selphie, who giggled.

"Give it to him, Zell!" Selphie cheered.

"SELPHIE!" Quistis shrieked.

"Do it quick, before she looses it," Seifer suggested.

"You guys are not doing this," Quistis commanded.

Zell punched his palm. "Alright. Don't tense up."

"I know how to take a punch," Seifer confirmed.

"I am not joking around anymore," Quistis said. She stood between the two.

"Irvine? A little help?" Seifer asked.

Irvine nodded and held Quistis back by her arms. "Sorry, Quistis," he told her.

"What!" she thrashed against him. "You're going to hold me back?! ARE YOU SERIOUS?!"

"Ready?" Zell asked.

Before Seifer could answer, Zell nailed him in the face. The sound of the impact was frighteningly loud and Seifer flew down to the ground.

"Holy shit!" Selphie exclaimed.

"Fuck, man," Irvine said, while Quistis could only look on in shock.

Seifer pushed himself up to his knees and breathed heavily. After a few moments of him not getting up, the others started to get nervous.

"...Seifer... Man... You okay?" Irvine asked.

Seifer didn't answer for a moment, before spitting blood onto the sand. He looked up.

"FUCK, Dincht!" He slowly began to stand. "That was one HELL of a punch. ...Fuck!"

Zell crossed his arms over his chest and smirked. "You deserved every unit of force I put into that. That's for me, for Squall, for Rinoa, and the rest of us."

"Fuckin-a," Seifer said, wiping the blood from his mouth.

"We're cool, now," Zell nodded.

"I should fucking hope so!" Seifer said.

Irvine finally released Quistis. She grabbed the bottle from him and ran to Seifer. She placed it to his cheek and he hissed at the contact.

"You idiot," she whispered. "Are you okay?"

"Does my jaw look broken?" Seifer asked.

Quistis titled her head to examine it closely, then shook her head. "It doesn't, but I'll cast cure."

"No fair," Zell lifted a finger.

"You are joking," Quistis said, breathless.

"Let him suffer for a few minutes before casting any magic," Zell directed.

"Oh stop it, Zell," Quistis glared at him.

"Eh, it's alright," Seifer said, taking the bottle from her and taking a swig. He placed it back on his face. "Feel better now, Dincht?"

"I really do," Zell said with a smile.

"This evening turned out to be way more interesting than I anticipated," Selphie laughed.

* * *

After they'd had their fill of the beach, Zell, Selphie and Irvine were relaxing in Irvine's room, drinking coffee and watching some terrible film on the viewer.

"This is the worst thing I've ever seen," Zell groaned, throwing a balled-up napkin at the screen. "Who lets these people make movies?"

"Come on Zell, this is a classic!" Selphie argued, almost spilling coffee on herself.

"Classically terrible," Zell corrected, crossing his arms.

"You wouldn't understand it anyway," she huffed. "It's a story about love and overcoming obstacles. It's _character_ -driven,"

"I understand it. It doesn't make it any less stupid," Zell scoffed.

"Speaking about the subject of love," Irvine said, placing his cup down onto the table, "what's the story on _your_ love life, Zell?"

"What love life?" Selphie rolled her eyes.

"Hey, I get around," Zell protested.

"That's a sex life Zell, not a love life. Gah, men," Selphie said, and Irvine laughed.

"Come on. What's the deal with Sora? I thought you guys were goin' out," Irvine said.

Zell shrugged. "I don't know. I mean, I like her just fine. But she's quiet and reserved. I don't see it working out."

"Opposites attract," Irvine noted.

"I guess..." Zell said.

"What's the real deal, Zell?" Selphie asked. "You don't like her?"

"No, I do," he said.

"So what's the deal?" Selphie huffed.

Zell paused for a moment, collecting his thoughts. "...I don't know. With everybody coupling up around me, I get nervous about it. I'm only eighteen - I don't need to get tied down to some girl. I mean, look at what it did to Squall. And now Seifer, too. Though, he hasn't changed much..."

"Men," Selphie repeated, once again rolling her eyes.

"Rinoa did soften Squall up a lot," Irvine noted.

Zell nodded. "Yeah, and if a chick can change a guy that much, I don't even want to know what would happen to me."

"So, you're a commitma-phobe," Selphie said.

Zell shrugged. "I just like myself the way I am, that's all."

"Zell, you don't seem to understand," Selphie said, her tone softer and more matronly. "That's the whole point of being in love. You find someone who likes you the way you are. A girl doesn't change a guy, love does. Rinoa didn't change Squall, she just helped him become who he already was. And Seifer? Well... No one really understands what's going on there, anyway."

Zell seemed to ponder this, and Selphie continued.

"Sora likes you just the way you are. What she probably doesn't like is you running around acting like your feelings are the only ones that matter. Do you like her for who she is?"

"Yeah, I do," he decided. "She's cute, and sweet... She's really smart, too."

Selphie nodded. "So, what's the deal?" she repeated.

"I'm not sure," Zell confessed. "I'm just worried about getting too close to her. I'm worried I'll mess it up."

"That means you like her," Irvine said, and Selphie nodded.

"C'mon Zell, grow a pair," Selphie said. "Go over there, right now, and kiss her."

"What?" Zell asked.

"KISS HER!" Selphie demanded.

"But don't do anything crazy and scare her off..." Irvine added.

"You guys are confusing me," Zell said.

"Do what I say. I'm the female," Selphie noted.

"Listen to me. I've dealt with normal females before," Irvine said.

"Irvine!" Selphie screeched. She turned back to Zell. "Don't listen to him," she said. "You'll do fine on your own. Just be yourself."

Irvine shrugged. "But if you want some pointers, I could-"

"Irvine, he doesn't want any pick-up lines, okay? He's fine!" Selphie stuck her tongue out at him.

"What kind of pick-up lines?" Zell asked, and Irvine laughed.

"Ugh," Selphie scoffed, collapsing back into her seat. "You men are impossible."

"Don't worry about it, man," Irvine said. "You'll be fine."

"But, I have to go there? Now?" Zell asked.

The other two nodded. "Yes. Now," Selphie commanded.

Zell scratched the back of his head. "I guess I should. She got home from her away mission today... She's probably wondering where I am."

"Probably," Selphie confirmed.

Zell stood from the couch and nodded. "Okay. I'll do it."

"That's the spirit," Irvine said.

"Go get 'em, tiger," Selphie said and growled.

"Wish me luck," Zell said, opening the door.

"You'll do fine," Irvine assured him.

"Kiss her!" Selphie screeched, before Zell closed the door behind him.

Once again, Selphie and Irvine found themselves alone together. They stayed silent for a moment.

"I hope it works out for him," Irvine finally said. "He deserves a nice, quiet girl."

"He deserves a swift kick to the face," Selphie rolled her eyes. "But, this is okay, too."

"I hope he doesn't jump on her, per your advice, and scare her into tomorrow," Irvine said.

"Hey, don't knock my advice," Selphie said, crossing her arms over her chest. "If you'd spent less time hitting on me and more time making moves, maybe things could have been different between us."

"Is that so?" he laughed.

She nodded. "Yes, it is. But now, it's too late."

He thought about this for a moment. "It's never too late," he said. "What about now?"

"Huh?" she blinked.

Irvine shrugged. "It's not too late. Just because we're both leaving, what does it matter? We're together today."

"Irvine, that's not such a good idea," Selphie cautioned, suddenly less playful.

"I know it isn't," he agreed. "But I'll never forgive myself if I live the rest of my life knowing that I'd blown it with you, that I didn't do it when I had the chance."

"Well..." she picked nervously at her nails, "No, I mean, I wouldn't say that..."

He leaned in to kiss her, and she jumped back. "Wait a minute, not now!" she protested. "The mood isn't right... And I don't have any makeup on..."

Irvine sighed, rolling his eyes. "See? I said the forward thing scares people."

She giggled. "I'm kidding. Get over here."

"Seriously?" he asked, his eyes wide. She grinned as she nodded at him.

He smiled back at her and shook his head. "I don't think I'll ever know why I like you."

She shrugged. "There's just too many reasons."

Irvine hesitated for a moment, checking to make sure she wasn't going to jump back this time. She smiled sweetly and licked her lips, and he knew that this time was for real. His heart began to beat faster in his chest, not because of nervousness, but because of the realization that this was really happening. He licked his own lips and met her face slowly. He hovered there for a moment, his lips above hers, until he moved forward and they finally met.

_

After they entered Quistis's room, Seifer went for her lips. They enjoyed each other's mouths for a while, tongues dancing and lips sliding across one another. His hands went to her body and she pushed him away gently.

"I wanna say something," she told him.

"Quistis," he said, warning her that he was losing his patience. "I did a lot for you, today. Please consider what you're about to say."

"I know," she laughed. She wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed her body into his. He was confused for a moment, expecting her to scold him for not calling or for whatever wrong he had committed.

"I know you did a lot for me today. Thank you," she told him, gently kissing his lips. "And... I understand why you were avoiding me. Maybe I don't understand exactly, but I know why you might need your space."

"...Thank you," he said after a pause.

"Next time, just let me know, okay?" she asked him, giving him a soft smile that made him feel weak.

"Okay," he agreed. He ran his fingers through her hair slowly, observing her perfectly symmetrical face. Maybe it wasn't symmetrical. He didn't care. She was perfect in every way to him. He cupped her face with his hand. "I'll do anything for you, Quistis..."

She smiled, amused. It was very like him to be crude one second and painfully romantic the next. It was very like her to hate him one second and love him the next.

 _Definitely not normal_ , she thought, touching his face in return. As their lips met again, she decided that she had no interest in normal.


	18. Selphie's Party

The day of her party had arrived, and Selphie had skipped out on lunch with the others to finish packing her things. As she taped up another box of mementos, she sighed and wiped the sweat from her brow. She stood and placed her hands on her hips as she looked around her room.

She hadn't brought much with her after transferring from Trabia. After all, most things were Garden-issued and she had little use for much else. She sighed again as she thought of how she had acquired more trinkets during her travels over the last year than she had her entire life. It made her happy, appreciative of the memories, and sad that she was leaving that part of her life behind.

Her nostalgic reminiscing was interrupted by a knock at her door. She brushed her dress off and opened the door, slightly surprised to find Zell on the other side.

"Sup?" he said.

"Hey, Zell," she replied, moving aside so he could enter. She closed the door behind him. "What brings you to my humble abode?"

He shrugged as he nudged one of the boxes with his foot. "I came to see if you wanted any help packing."

Selphie blinked. "Really?" she asked. "That's… Surprisingly nice of you,"

He was already in her kitchen peering into her refrigerator when he responded. "Got anything to drink?"

Selphie rolled her eyes. "Ah," she grumbled, crossing her arms over her chest. "Only helping to get beer, I see."

"It's a little early for beer," Zell called from behind the refrigerator door. He stood up with a bottle in hand and closed the door. "But it's not like I have anything better to do." He twisted the cap off and threw it into the nearby garbage can, taking a long swig of the bubbly brew.

"Ahh," he sighed. "Good stuff."

He returned to her living room and plopped down on her couch. His feet went to her coffee table and she rolled her eyes again. She went to the kitchen and grabbed a beer for herself then plopped down beside him. It seemed that she had done enough to deserve a break.

"It looks like you have almost everything packed up," Zell noticed.

Selphie nodded, taking a sip from the bottle. "Yeah. I don't really have much. I was just thinking about how most of the stuff I have I got this year, you know, from traveling."

Zell nodded in agreement. "I don't have much of anything here myself, either. Most of my stuff is at my house in Balamb."

He began to ruffle through one of the unsealed boxes at his side. "You got anything you wanna get rid of? Maybe some old triad cards, scrolls, stones…"

Selphie rolled her eyes. "No way, buddy. I have a ton of screws if you want them."

Zell scoffed, leaning back onto the couch and dismissing the box. "I got no use for those things. Offer them to someone whose weapon actually _uses_ them."

"I suppose you're right," Selphie giggled, taking another drink.

"Sucks that you're leaving," Zell said. He said it casually, his eyes averted.

Selphie frowned, knowing how much it meant to hear him say that, even if it sounded seemingly indifferent. "Yeah," she agreed, averting her own eyes.

He sighed. "I'm going to miss you,"

"Zell, don't," Selphie protested. "You're going to make me cry!"

He chuckled, wrapped his arm around her and gave her a light squeeze. "All right," he said, placing the empty bottle on the table. "Let's take care of the rest of this junk, huh?"

Selphie nodded with a smile. "Right."

* * *

Quistis had a lot on her mind, but her meditation sessions had slowly returned to normal. She still had flashbacks of her life from time to time, but they didn't leave her feeling unsettled like they had before. She stood up from her session and smiled, enjoying her relaxed state. She had a few hours until the party, and was happy to have plenty of time to get ready.

She took a long shower and allowed the heat to relax her muscles, which were starting to lose a bit of their tone. She made a mental note to get back to her training sooner rather than later. When she was finished, she threw on a robe and brewed a pot of coffee, eager to taste it as the scent wafted through the air. She dressed, opting for jeans and a plain long-sleeved blue top. She tossed her training clothes into the washer.

Quistis poured herself that cup of coffee and took a sip, its warmth relaxing her slightly. Satisfied, she collapsed back down on the couch.

Just as she found herself comfortable, she heard a soft knock at the door. She sighed, hoping to at least have a few more moments of solitude, but she shrugged it off and went to the door.

She opened it and was more than surprised to find him on the other side.

Seifer smirked at her, giving her his usual once-over. "Blue is definitely your color," he praised.

"Seifer," she said, poking her head into the hallway and looking left and right. "What are you doing? Get in here," she demanded.

"Gladly," he said, and he stepped in.

She observed the hallway once more, then closed the door behind her.

"How'd you get in here without an escort, anyway?" she asked. She crossed her arms over her chest. "You know you're supposed to get permission from Xu before you come here on your own,"

He shrugged, relaxing on the couch and sipping on her coffee.

"Gross," he said, wiping the back of his hand. "Who puts cream and sugar in their coffee?"

She rolled her eyes and sat down beside him, observing him questionably. Seifer sighed, giving a slight wave of his hand.

"I know the rules," he said.

"So?" she asked, her brow raised.

"So, you think I don't know my way around Garden well enough to get in? Come on..." he took another sip of her coffee, scrunching his face at the taste.

Quistis got up and went into the kitchen, pouring him a black coffee. She came back into the common area, handed him the mug and sat back down, retrieving her own cup.

"Xu doesn't know," she concluded. He shrugged. "You're going to get me into trouble, aren't you?" she said.

"I could, if you want," he smirked. "Come on - you act like you aren't enthralled to see me,"

She chuckled softly. She was happy to see him – especially since he made the effort to show up at Garden.

"Of course I am," she said. "You always bring surprises with you, I guess."

"I keep it real," he said, lifting his cup in a toast.

She laughed and placed her hand over his gently. "I am glad to see you, Seifer."

"Who isn't?" he said, and she rolled her eyes.

"I could think of a few people," she mumbled.

"So tell me your party tonight with cowboy, chicken-wuss, princess, crack-head, and puberty boy," he proposed.

"You could at least use their names, you know," Quistis sighed. "They _are_ my friends, after all. It's not like I call your friends 'ya-know' and 'one-eye,'"

He laughed heartily at that. "I wish you would. That's what I call 'em."

"You're such an ass, Seifer," she smirked.

"I know. You like it. Don't lie."

She giggled, bringing her face to his. "Maybe," she said, and she softly planted her lips on his.

Softness turned to roughness as it often did with him, and it wasn't long before he lifted her from the couch and brought her to the bed.

* * *

Squall had informed Rinoa that Garden was retrieving the Owls from the white SeeD ship that afternoon. He'd instructed her to meet him at this time. Rinoa turned the corner into the second floor hallway and sure enough, he waited for her at the end of the hall. She approached him, and they met with a silent nod. She followed him out onto the deck.

Rinoa jumped and squealed when she found Zone and Watts waiting outside. She wrapped her arms around both and pulled them all close together. Squall stood back and observed, allowing them to exchange their pleasantries.

Rinoa laughed. "I'm so glad you guys are okay!"

"Us?!" Zone scoffed. "We're glad you're okay!"

"It's good to see you, Princess!" Watts said.

"Where's Angelo?" Zone asked.

"Hangin in my room," Rinoa pointed her thumb. "I'll take you to see her later."

"Miss that pup," Watts said.

Rinoa released them from her grip and gave them a winning smile. "Now that you're here... We can finish what we started." She nodded at them. "Let's kick some Galbadian ass!" She thrust her fist up in victory.

"We can finally go home!" Zone said.

Watts nodded, then turned to Squall. "Thanks to you, sir! With your help, Timber will finally be free!"

He offered his hand, and for once, Squall shook it.

"Tomorrow, we'll go over the plan," Rinoa told them, and they nodded. "For now, we've gotta get ready for Selphie's party."

"I've arranged a room for you at the Balamb hotel," Squall said.

"A hotel?" Zone said.

"Fancy," Watts said.

"Squall," Rinoa said, "you don't have to do that. They can crash with me,"

 _Over my dead body_ , he thought.

"It's no trouble," he said instead.

"Can we see Angelo first?" Watts asked.

Rinoa nodded. "Sure thing."

The trio chatted the entire way back to Rinoa's room, while Squall followed silently behind.

* * *

When Selphie came to his room, she found him outside chatting with a few people she didn't recognize. _Social butterfly, that one_.

Irvine turned his attention away from the others and smiled at her. "Looking for me?" he asked.

"Yeah," Selphie nodded.

"See you at the party," he told the others, and they nodded before taking off.

Selphie realized she hadn't really planned this out very well.

 _What am I gonna say, anyway?_

She needed an excuse to be there, and she tried to think of one. Before she could decide on anything, he spoke up.

"I'm gonna make some coffee. You want some?" he asked.

She nodded in acceptance, thankful that he went ahead and solved that problem for her. She stepped into his room after him and sat on the couch. She was lost in thought as he handed her a cup with steam rising from the top.

"It's hot," he cautioned, and she nodded, sipping slowly.

He sat down with his own cup beside her. They sat there in a comfortable silence for a while, neither saying a word.

Selphie pondered over the many things she wanted to say but couldn't. She wondered exactly what she was doing in his place. She wasn't even sure what she wanted. Maybe that's what she wanted to find out.

As they sat there in silence, Selphie thought it strange that someone would share her company like this without feeling the need to share a word.

 _What is it about him, anyway?_ _Is he this comfortable around everyone, or just me? What does he really want?_

The questions rolled through her mind, and she finally sighed in exasperation.

"Your thoughts are movin'," Irvine said with a gentle smile. "Got something on your mind?"

"Yeah," Selphie nodded. "I've got a lot of things on my mind."

"Anything I can help with?"

She scoffed, suddenly frustrated with his calm demeanor.

"What is it with you, anyway?" she said, and he blinked. "You're always such a nice guy, askin' me what's wrong, offering to help... What's your deal?"

He laughed at that, then shrugged. "I'm sorry it's so hard for you to believe I'm a nice guy,"

"Stop that," she demanded. "Let's cut to the chase."

"Gladly," he agreed. The less confusion on his part, the better.

Selphie looked up. "I've had this inkling of you in the back of my mind for weeks now. I can't help but ask myself why," Selphie shook her head. "First I thought it was just a lost connection recovered from being old friends," she shrugged. "Then I started to think it was more." She looked back over at him. "Then we had that solid make out session once,"

"Twice," he corrected her.

"Oh yeah," Selphie put a finger to her lip. "Twice – and we haven't said a word about it. So, spill it," she crossed her arms over her chest. "What's going on between us?"

Irvine thought this over, as it was his turn now to choose the right words to say. He'd hoped that the situation would have been a little less... Aggressive. But that was Selphie for you, and he approved of her outright honesty, especially after keeping uncharacteristically quiet for so long.

"I'm not sure," he finally answered. "But, I'd like for there to be something between us."

"Something meaning what?" she asked.

"Well, you know," he shrugged, "something. I'd like to take you out. I like being close to you. And one day, I'd like to do more than just kiss you."

"...Oh," Selphie said, her face beginning to flush. "...Well, why didn't you just say that?" she demanded.

Irvine shrugged, as if he wasn't quite sure of the reason himself. "I don't know. I guess I wanted to leave you your privacy."

"Ugh, come on, you never leave anyone their privacy!" she argued.

He chuckled. "I must really like you, then." He turned to her, his face a little more serious. "Honestly, I wasn't sure what you would say."

"Well... You coulda asked..." she mumbled.

"Could have," he agreed. "Sorry I didn't."

She nodded. "You should be! Why would you keep this from me all this time, only to tell me the night before I leave?"

"...You did kind of force it out of me," Irvine noted. He sighed. "Come on, Selphie. What's the problem? What's got you so worked up?"

Selphie groaned again, wishing that he would simply understand.

"I'm pissed about it," she said.

"Sorry," he shrugged, not sure what else to offer.

"I'm not pissed at you - I'm pissed that everything went down the way it did." Selphie shook her head. "We should have saved Trabia when we had the chance." She frowned and pointed at him. "And you should've asked me out when you had the chance." She shifted in her seat and sighed. "Now everything is messed up, and I have to pick up the pieces."

Irvine blinked. "You're a little more intense than I thought, Selphie," he admitted.

Selphie sighed. "Sorry,"

"Don't be," he shook his head. "It's who you are."

She frowned at him, a desperate longing in her eyes.

"What are we gonna do?" she asked.

He sighed, unsure of the words to use to comfort her. Instead he placed his arm around her, offering her comfort that way. She leaned into him and they found themselves once again wrapped in silence. After a while, he decided it was best to tell her.

"...We won't be so far from each other," he said, and she looked up at him in question. He sighed. "I haven't told the others yet, but... I've applied for transfer. I'm leaving tomorrow, too."

"What?!" she said, pushing herself away from him.

She looked at him for a sign that he was joking, but realized he was serious. She frowned and leaned back into him. "Why didn't you tell us...?"

"I'm not much for goodbyes," Irvine shrugged. "I was going to tell you all tonight."

Selphie frowned. "Where are you going?" she asked.

"Back to Galbadia," he told her. "As much as I like it here, and as much as I care about everyone, once you're gone, well... There's no reason for me to stay here."

"Irvine..." Her eyes began to tear up. She sniffed, wiping the tears from her eyes. When she looked back at him, he looked sad, and it broke her heart.

She cupped his face with her hands and kissed his lips. They slowly gave into one another, taking their time at expressing themselves without words.

Selphie placed her hand over his. "If tonight really is our last... Let's make the most of it."

Irvine blinked, but followed obediently as she led him into the bedroom.

They continued their slow decent into love, their lips and hands the tools to harness the miracle manifested. They came together, the innocence and purity of their affection brightening the room as darkness descended on their silhouettes. They were slow and deliberate, pure as new lovers between the sheets could be. Neither questioned the authenticity of their feelings or questioned the honor of their actions. As they reached their peak and fell into one another's arms, the ecstasy of a love expressed bathed them like the moonlight. They were both silent, but they knew this was the start of something beautiful.

* * *

Seifer looked from side to side, shifted his weight, tapped his fingers on his drink. He really hadn't wanted to be at this party longer than he needed to be. It was difficult to see his way out when the guest of honor hadn't even arrived.

"The hell are those people," he commented, mostly to himself.

Quistis gave him a coy smile. "They'll be here. They're just tied up, somewhere..."

Seifer raised a brow at her, and she giggled. He rolled his eyes and returned his gaze to the party before him. Lights strung across the trees in the quad, leading to the stage where the band had been in full swing for almost an hour. There were two long tables with food and alcohol and around twenty people in attendance. It was a relatively simple affair, which Seifer was rather bummed about. Larger parties were more intimate. Now it was easy for others to notice him. The most he got was a confused or surprised glance from a cadet or two, but it was enough to irritate him.

"Now that you have your drink," Quistis turned to him, "are you ready to say hi to the others?"

Seifer gave her a scornful laugh, looking ahead at what could be his least favorite people. He'd never particularly been partial to Selphie or Irvine, but there was no question about his relationship with Squall or Zell, much less with Rinoa.

Seifer felt deep despair in his heart looking at the raven-haired beauty. He hadn't spoken to Rinoa since he'd tossed her life away so long ago, and it was difficult for him to pretend that he didn't feel an overwhelming guilt over his actions.

He knew she had probably already forgiven him – that was the kind of person she was – and that it made it worse. He could deal with her lashing out on him, he wanted her to hate him. She should hate him. But she wouldn't, and he hated her for that.

It wasn't likely that anyone else in his life would make him feel like such a pitiable, evil creature. Dealing with Zell's resentment and Squall's contempt was easy. He was used to it, and really had no reason to get along with them, save for Quistis. Rinoa was different.

Rinoa had been special to him at one point. She'd loved him, and for a while, Seifer had loved her, too. How did he decide to repay her for her love? By betraying her, and forcing her into a fate that would ruin everything she could ever want to be. He destroyed who Rinoa was and was resolved to bear any consequence of who she may become.

 _I didn't just hurt her, or betray her - I ruined her._

Regardless of if she was content with her life now, Seifer knew that he had robbed Rinoa of having a normal life. He took someone innocent, full of love, and condemned her to a life shadowed by darkness.

 _And it was all for the sake of my pride. My victory. My misguided dreams and self-delusions._

He destroyed something beautiful for a childish ambition, and the burden of that shame would never be lifted from his shoulders.

"Seifer?" Quistis said, disturbing his thoughts.

Seifer looked at Quistis, his eyes filled with a sadness that she'd never seen before in him. He watched as her face changed, as she saw through him. He hadn't the will to conceal how he felt.

A terrifying thought crossed him, and he wanted desperately to push her away. Was Quistis so blind that she did not know what he could do to her? The kind of man he was?

He shook his head. _The man I used to be,_ he corrected himself.

It did not make the threat feel any less present.

"Seifer," she repeated, touching his arm. "Are you okay?"

She waited as he took a long time to respond.

"I'm not ready to see her," he admitted, and could not stop himself from faintly hanging his head in shame.

"Seifer..." She took his hand.

He looked at her, and she gave him a smile that he so desperately craved but felt undeserving of.

"It'll be okay. I know it's hard, but..." Quistis watched Rinoa for a moment, then turned back to him. "You owe it to her."

He knew it was true, and that truth dug deep into him. "...You're right," he finally decided.

"Come on," she said, tugging his hand. "I'll be right there with you."

Seifer nodded, took a deep breath, and followed her towards the others.

As expected, he received a cool acknowledgement from the two SeeDs. Rinoa, however, smiled at him, but did not say a word. The Owls also seemed pleasantly surprised at his presence.

"Hey guys," Quistis broke the ice. "Great party Cid threw together."

"Only the best for Selphie," Zell noted. "Too bad she isn't even here to enjoy it."

"She'll be here soon," Quistis promised.

"Hey, Seifer!" Zone said, offering his hand. Seifer accepted it and shook it.

"Good to see you, sir," Watts said. Seifer gave him a nod.

Zone nodded in approval. "Hey man, we appreciate what you did... Trying to take on Deiling."

"Very brave, sir," Watts added.

"Don't mention it," Seifer shrugged.

There was another long silence, and Quistis tried to come up with something to say before Seifer spoke up.

"Rinoa," he said, and she looked at him curiously. "...Could I... Can we talk?"

Squall gave him a look of warning, but Seifer ignored him, keeping his eyes only on Rinoa's.

"Sure," Rinoa agreed, giving him another smile.

Squall looked at her, his face betraying his skepticism. But Rinoa ignored him too, as she and Seifer walked away from the rest of them.

Squall gave a short snort, but wasn't at liberty to follow after them. He decided to turn his attention to Quistis, who sighed at his piercing gaze.

"Let her go, man," Zell told him, placing a hand on his shoulder.

Quistis bit her lip and shifted uncomfortably. "Squall, I know you hate this... I know you hate me for bringing him around... But, maybe she needs this just as much as he does."

The Owls only looked on, entirely lost with what was happening.

Zell nodded in agreement, and Squall shook off his hand, taking off on his own.

Quistis sighed. Zell looked at her and gave her an encouraging smile.

"It'll pass," he said, and she smiled back at him, nodding hopefully.

On the other side of the quad, Seifer and Rinoa stood in an area devoid of any people.

Rinoa watched as Seifer struggled with himself, but again, said nothing. In truth, she didn't know what to say to him herself. She had to hear his piece first.

"Rinoa..." He looked away, disgusted with himself that he couldn't even manage a simple apology.

 _Am I so devoid of feeling that I can't offer her that?_

"Seifer," she finally said, taking his hand. "It's okay. You can tell me."

He hated the physical contact. Her compassion mocked him, but he couldn't bring himself to tear away from her. There was nothing left in him to cause Rinoa any more pain.

"...I'm sorry," Seifer said, after what seemed like an eternity. He looked at her in earnest, hoping she would understand his sincerity. "I'm sorry," he repeated.

Rinoa smiled at him sadly. She understood Seifer pretty well, and knew how difficult it must have been to muster an apology. She saw the pain in his eyes and knew that what happened had affected him almost as much as it had her.

"I'm so sorry," he shook his head. "I'm sorry about what I did to you. There... There's no excuse, nothing I could say to even begin to justify my behavior... I have... I have no words, I have nothing to offer you. Other than... I'm sorry..."

Rinoa took him into her arms and embraced him, which filled him with surprise, guilt, disgust and relief all at once.

"Thank you," she whispered, and he clutched her tighter. "I forgive you."

"I knew you would," he said despondently.

Rinoa released him, and looked deep into his eyes. Seifer turned away from her, and she shook her head. He forced himself to look back at her.

"You can forgive yourself," she told him.

"Never," he said, his voice finding a newfound determination.

"Then your apology means nothing," she said.

He looked at her curiously, but understood what she meant.

"How can I...?" he asked. "You..." He shook his head. "I don't deserve such compassion,"

"You have it," she said, giving him another comforting smile.

Seifer was ashamed of himself for so many things, and hated that he couldn't put up his defenses when it came to Rinoa. He could never go back to being strong, indifferent Seifer in her eyes. She knew the truth about his weakness, and he hated it. But there was nothing he could do to prevent it.

As if reading his mind, she said, "don't worry. No one else has to know."

"You... Know that I care about you," he managed, repulsed by how the words tasted in his mouth.

"I know," Rinoa nodded. "I didn't, really, until now. But I see it. I see the pain in your eyes. I know you mean it." She tilted her head. "And now, if you really want to satisfy me, you will forgive yourself."

Seifer knew he wasn't remotely ready to do so, but he nodded, promising her silently that he eventually would.

"I cared about you, too," Rinoa said. She grinned. "But I think we all knew that."

He had to turn his face away and smirk. When he looked back at her, he released a long sigh, and there was a slightly not particularly but pretty much awkward silence between them.

"So," he sighed one more time. "Do we have to talk about Squall?"

Rinoa shrugged. "Do we?"

He cringed before he said the words, but the words were due. "...Do I have to tell you how that irks me to no end, but if you want to be with him, I'll allow it, because I want you to be happy?"

"I suppose that's understood," she put a finger to her lip.

Seifer rolled his eyes, wanting to go on about it. "I mean, you were always free to love, Rinoa... Just not _him_. I'm not surprised you chose him. Everyone did. But you..." He looked at her in earnest. "You're special..." He shook his head, and saw that Rinoa was beginning to grow impatient.

"He's a good guy," Rinoa told him, her arms crossed over her chest.

Seifer wanted to spit, but didn't. "...He is. And he'll take care of you. ...I'm sure of that."

Rinoa smiled. She took care of herself, but there was the thrill of being under someone's protection.

She hugged Seifer again. "Come on, let's go. I'm sure you're ready to get back to being the haughty, apathetic Seifer that we all know and love," she teased.

He managed a short laugh, and nodded. "Yeah," he agreed. "I need a few shots, first."

"You do you," she said, leaving him to return to others.

Seifer watched Rinoa go, forever indebted to her forgiveness. She'd also made it easy for him, offering no resentment.

As he recovered from the alcohol burning down his throat, he contemplated. Perhaps Rinoa was as ready to leave the past behind as he was.

The guest of honor had arrived and was grouped up in a perfect circle with the others by the time Seifer was ready to return. He looked toward Quistis, who was between Zone and the cowboy from Galbadia - Seifer never remembered his name, but he'd always thought the guy seemed okay. He didn't want to bother with the rest of the group, and was certainly fine with hanging back. That was what he did until Quistis somehow slowly squeezed him in. The circle naturally shifted, and he was thankful for the decent amount of personal space. He decided to finally engage in what the others were so focused on.

Seifer raised a brow when he saw a small cage by Squall's feet, and on that cage was a bow. Atop the cage sat a neatly wrapped basket.

"A cage?" Seifer said, but no one was listening.

Selphie clapped her hands and bounced from one foot to the other on her toes. Her mint-coloured summer dress bounced with her, as did her perfectly curled hair.

"Tell me what it is!" She begged.

"Go ahead, Squall," beside him Rinoa said.

Squall did his best to hide his smirk at Selphie's already amusing reaction. "Open it," he told her.

Selphie launched herself toward the gift, but was careful and meticulous in unwrapping it. As she lifted the cloth, a chirping sound filled the air. Selphie's grin was wide.

"No waaaay!" she exclaimed. "Chicobo!" She immediately released her comrade attacked him with rubs, scratches and pets.

"He's yours," Squall said. "He was made for the Trabia continent, anyway. And he'll be a good companion to the kids at Garden."

"You know how to take care of one, right?" Quistis held up her hand.

"No way!" Selphie repeated. She turned back to Chicobo and he resumed his happy chirping. "But I'll learn! I'll give this little guy anything. Won't I, Chicobo?"

Selphie stood, and slowly approached her leader. Squall had enough time to blink before she gripped him in an uncomfortable hug, the kind someone gives when they're really grateful, or when they're a boa constrictor.

"Thank you, Squall!" she muffled in the collar of his coat.

"It's from everyone," he said, gently pushing her off of him. "And... You're welcome."

Then Squall reached into his pocket, and retrieved a rolled up piece of paper.

"And for you," the others shared a look of confusion, "Irvine," he passed the cowboy the scroll.

"...For Irvine?" Quistis asked.

Irvine chuckled at the paper in his hands, and met Squall's eyes. "When did you find out?"

"Officially?" Squall began. "Recently. But I was prepared."

Irvine placed his hand on his friend's shoulder. "Thanks, man." He proceeded to unroll the page, and when he saw what was drawn on it, his eyes widened, and he laughed in surprise.

"What is it?" Selphie asked.

Irvine turned the page for the others to see. It was a scantily clad attractive woman holding an Exeter, an artist rendition that was highly pleasing to the eye.

"Whoa!" Zell exclaimed, and took a step back.

"Oh my," said Quistis.

"Damn," Seifer said.

"It's a Tetsua original," Squall explained. "Signed and everything."

"You're kidding me, man," Irvine said, his grin causing his cheeks to hurt.

Zell was in awe. "How did you get your hands on _that_?!"

Squall shrugged. "I called in a favor."

"Damn, man," Zone groaned. "Squall has got the hook-up."

"Thank you, Squall," Irvine said.

"Okay," Zell puffed his chest. "Everybody's getting presents. I wanna know what I'm getting next."

"Squall gave me the gift for a reason, Zell," Irvine explained.

"Tch," Zell stomped his foot. "Knew there had to be a reason..."

Irvine met each person's eyes once, and wore the most peaceful smile. When he finished, he spoke. "I'm leaving Balamb tomorrow, too."

"What?" was the collective outcry.

"Where?" Rinoa asked.

"To Galbadia," the sharp-shooter said.

"What the hell, man," Zell held out his hands. "Why didn't you tell us?"

Irvine shrugged. "I was going to." He pointed his thumb. "Squall kinda ousted me."

Squall wore a simple grin.

"We'll miss you both so much!" Quistis exclaimed.

"Squall," Selphie said, "thank you for the gifts." She stood on her toes and kissed him on his cheek. She winked at Rinoa, who shook her head, her hands on her hips. Selphie then stretched up to kiss Rinoa's cheek. The girls laughed, and Selphie turned.

"Anybody else want one?" She puckered her lips.

"Drinks!" Irvine exclaimed. "How 'bout another round?"

Late into the evening, the band played their last set. Everyone had enough to drink to dance in the crowd, Squall finally included. He'd discarded his jacket, the heat and drink leaving him unwilling to bear any discomfort. Rinoa, clad in a red tank top and shorts, her hair pulled back into a ponytail that sat over her shoulder, dancing in her sandals, was the most beautiful person in the crowd that night. Or, that's how he saw her, and that's how he made her feel.

They danced together to the slow song, or rather moved back and forth while they held each other. It had been strange at first to be so close to her in public, but when he looked around, he realized no one reacted, or even seem to notice it. Their friends might give him a coy look here and there, but it was mostly like being in their own world.

Perhaps it was the alcohol. Perhaps it was the music, the fireworks, the realization that he may not see his friends again, but Squall felt the moment so intensely, so deeply, that he needed something to hold on to. And there she was before him, his sense of purpose, his vision of reality, she was what he wanted to hold on to. He placed his hands on the sides of her face, and she blinked in surprised. He brought his lips to hers, and kissed her with a fervor that expressed his need. He realized that he wanted to feel this way. He wanted to love her. With the way she smiled at him as they parted, he knew that she wanted to be loved by him. There was no sense of the future in that moment, no worries of the future, of partings, of loss. In this moment, Squall and Rinoa only needed to love.

After a goodbye that Squall barely remembered, he decided that he had to get to his room from the quad. That was his only goal. That's when Rinoa took his hand. She released a small hiccup.

 _Also get Rinoa home,_ he thought. _Two goals._

"You okay?" he asked her, wondering if she was really swaying or if he was just seeing her that way.

"Psssh," she blew raspberries. "Ummm, yeah! Of course. Totally."

"...You can walk?"

"Squall," Rinoa closed her eyes and sighed. She opened them, and gave him a rather grave look. "I can walk. For now. Please... Just help me back to my room? I'll be fine."

Squall nodded, and the motion hurt his head.

It was about twenty minutes later when Squall found himself on the floor of Rinoa's bathroom, holding her hair back as she vomited into the toilet bowl. She'd at least made it all the way to her bathroom before caving into the sickness. Squall was focused on not retching himself. And keeping her hair out of it.

When she finished, she washed her face and mouth, and slid down onto the floor facing him. "I'm embarrassed," she said.

Squall waved his hand. "It happens."

She didn't seem satisfied, and the sad look on her face bothered him. He moved to be next to her. "Rinoa," he placed his hand on her bare knee. "You don't have to be embarrassed around me."

She gave him a weak smile. "Yeah?"

He smiled back. "Yeah."

"Then," she took a breath, "I should tell you that I am also very drunk."

"For real?" he asked, and she laughed deep in her belly. They shared laughter together at both their states. When the laughter ceased, Rinoa met Squall's eyes, and reached for his hand. She placed her hand over his, slowly running her fingers over the back of his bare hand.

She smiled at him, the smile that made him weak and feel terribly endeared to her. In silence they watched each other as she trailed her fingers up his forearm, then to his bicep.

"Squall," her voice was a low whisper. Her eyes were shied away from him. When she looked at him, her hand went to his face. "...Stay with me tonight."

"Rinoa," he sighed. "You should rest."

"I know," she agreed, running her hand through his hair. "I want you to stay. I always want you to stay. You're the one I want to be with most." She leaned against him, and listened to his heartbeat in his chest.

"I'm in love with you, Squall," she said.

It was a strange feeling hearing it for the first time. No one had ever told him they were in love with him - he hardly had anyone to even regularly love him. The few women in his life that had even come close to consideration for such a thing had never said the words, and he of course hadn't dared to even consider saying it - ever. The simple perfection of the evening and the intoxication helped him feel less anxious about hearing her say it, more open and emotional towards her. He hesitated only for an instant before he put his arms around her. He didn't wonder if she'd meant what she said. A part of him didn't care. He stroked her long dark hair.

"I love you too, Rinoa."


	19. Time to Go

After not enough sleep and a rushed exit, six friends stood by the Balamb train station, accompanied by a certain gunblade artist. The sun was rising over the ocean, the wind was soft and the quiet sound of birds was the only noise of the morning. That was until the train hissed and churned, signaling their eminent departure.

Seifer, his bag slung over his shoulder, said "later," and boarded the train. He wasn't one for pleasantries, and no one seemed to mind.

Bags in tow, Selphie sighed. Irvine stood next to her, adjusting his pack, then his hat.

"...Well," Selphie said, and they could already hear her voice choking. "I guess this is it."

Rinoa and Quistis didn't bother to contain their tears, leaving Squall and Zell to stand by them in support.

The sorceress went to hug Selphie first, and the taller blonde embraced her next.

"Selphie!" they cooed.

"I'll miss you both so much," Rinoa said as she hugged Irvine.

"Please be safe," Quistis told them after a shared smile and embrace with the cowboy.

Selphie sobbed as Zell came next to hold her. "Aww, Zell," she cooed.

"I'll miss you lots, Selphie," he told her.

He shared a handshake and a hug with his taller friend. "Irvine," he said. "It's been real, bro."

"Yeah, man," Irvine agreed. "Be good to yourself."

It was Squall's turn, and he didn't like the way all eyes turned to him to observe how he would deliver his goodbye. He'd already given the presents. His friends expected too many speeches from him.

 _I hate speeches._

But he didn't hate Irvine or Selphie, in fact he liked them very much, and was grateful for everything they did to help the world, to help Rinoa, and to help him. They were good fighters, and good friends. He owed them a goodbye.

Selphie had ceased her sobbing, almost as if she were being brave for him. She wore a straight face for her leader.

"Squall," she said, her head giving a slight tilt, "you don't have to say anything."

Squall sighed. _This is why I hate speeches. They judge me before I even get a chance to respond. So what if it takes me a while to think of what to say? To figure things out? To tell you that you're my friend, to tell you goodbye? Sometimes, I don't know what to say. And I never know what you want me to say._

"You live right where you are," she told him, and poked his forehead with her finger. She then embraced him. He couldn't but help smirk, returning her embrace.

When they parted, he placed his hands on her shoulders. "I'll miss you, Selphie," he told her. "Thank you for everything."

Her sobbing returned, which he hadn't expected, or desired. But he left her to herself, and allowed the sharp-shooter to approach him. They shook hands.

"Squall," Irvine said, "you're a stand-up guy."

"Thanks, Irvine," Squall replied, humbled by and uncomfortable with the praise.

"Take care of Rinoa," Irvine warned.

Squall nodded. They both knew he would. "We couldn't have defeated Ultimecia without you," he said. "Thank you."

"Anytime, my man," Irvine said, giving him a Galbadian salute.

The whistle of the train sounded. A voice came through the speaker. It was time to depart.

"Love you guys," Selphie told them.

They shared a SeeD salute, Rinoa keeping to herself. With a wave, Selphie boarded the train, and Irvine after her. They disappeared into the back. Within a minute, the gears hissed and the train took off, headed toward FH, Seifer's domain, the Galbadian continent, where Irvine would depart, and eventually to Selphie's destination on the Trabian continent.

Four friends stood by the Balamb train station. When their moment of silence passed, they headed back toward Garden.

* * *

It wasn't until mid-afternoon that anything productive was done, naps and nursing hangovers taking precedence. Quistis eventually went back to planning, Zell trained, and Rinoa waited. She stood in front of the 2nd floor classroom, where Squall had told her to meet.

He walked down the corridor precisely at the time he said he would, and Rinoa grinned.

"Hey," she said when he approached. "Get any sleep?" She had gotten a quick nap in herself.

He shook his head, and she pouted. He lifted the binder in his hand.

"Had to get intel," he said.

Rinoa nodded in understanding. She lifted her palm. "Zone and Watts aren't here yet." She clutched her elbow. "...They're not the most punctual people."

"Neither is Zell," Squall remarked. He lifted a keycard to the panel that controlled the classroom doors, and they slid open. "Let's set up."

Rinoa looked around the classroom. Though she'd been in it before, she'd never utilized it. She found an open space in the back of the classroom, and pointed. "This works," she said.

Squall raised a brow. Rinoa came and retrieved the binder from him, and set it on the floor. She plopped down onto the floor, legs out, her hands rested on her knees.

It was then Zone and Watts entered the classroom, followed by Rinoa's bestie Angelo. When Squall looked from Rinoa on the floor to the owls, he made the connection. _That's seriously how they used to have their meetings._

Naturally, Zone and Watts gave their pleasantries and dropped to the floor with Rinoa. Angelo was excited to greet her master at dog-level, and licked Rinoa's face with such joy. Rinoa gave the canine a few approving pets before commanding her to join them on the floor. Angelo curled up behind them, and decided it was best to have a nap.

Squall blinked. This was the world that she came from. The girl he'd drukenly confessed love for. He knew he loved Rinoa, but it was hard not to cringe. It was hard not to judge such asinine practices, strange company, and crap operations.

But Rinoa loved Timber, and she loved her friends, and her cause. Squall loved that about her. And, being contractually obligated, he felt it was best to oblige.

So, he joined the strange trio on the floor. He opened the binder, and began setting out maps and documents.

Zell chose that moment to enter, and had a confused look as he looked around the classroom. "What the...?"

"Zell," Rinoa called, "we're over here."

Zell had to maneuver to see over the console desks to find the others on the floor. He shook his head, then came to the back of the classroom to join the others.

"Sup," he said as he sat.

"Late," was all Squall said.

Zell rolled his eyes. "Yeah, sorry." He scratched the back of his head. "I was... Occupied." A blush went to his cheeks, and Rinoa giggled.

"Zell," she said. She giggled again. "You have lipstick on your mouth there..."

"What?!" Zell went to rub his lips with his gloves, but Rinoa stopped him. She retrieved a hankerchief from the pocket of her duster, and offered it to him. Zell did a terrible job of trying to remove it, more rubbing it in than taking it off. It was a rather sad sight when Rinoa had to grab his chin and take over.

"Yo man," Zone said, "your girl is _fine_." He nodded. "Definitely my type."

"Every woman is your type, Zone," Rinoa commented.

"Not as much as you, Rinoa," he joked.

"Watch it," Squall told him.

"Sorry," Zone held up his hands.

"He was kidding, sir," Watts tried to help.

"That's embarrassing," Zell said after Rinoa finished.

"Only a little," Rinoa laughed.

"Still late," Squall added. Squall wasn't showing up late because he was getting some. _Who says I'm envious?_

"Sorry," Zell shrugged.

"Let's get started," the commander suggested. The other four nodded in agreement, and Angelo snored softly.

"Our contract states that we're in your service until Timber reaches independence. In more realistic terms, Cid has given us one year from our departure date to get the job done. After one year, SeeD will render the contract fulfilled, regardless of Timber's political status."

Rinoa thought for a moment. A year seemed like more than enough time in her world. But Rinoa was eighteen, and not yet enlightened to the reality of a war for independence. Unaware of this, she nodded in agreement. Squall continued.

"SeeD will provide two A-ranks, or a cumulative team. Zell and I are scheduled to dispatch. We've been directed to support Timber while the political negotiations take place."

"What's the situation in Timber?" Zell asked. "Ya know, since we time traveled and all?" He looked to the Forest Owls for an answer, and they appeared to be as baffled as he.

Squall didn't exactly judge the Owls for having no knowledge of their hometown. They'd been forced out, had to escape... He understood. Except he completely judged them. These were the people a nation had to count on? And wondered for the umpteenth time why, in a thousand years, why someone as beautiful, talented, powerful, wild, someone like Rinoa, would ever spend time with these two. But he was prepared to take over, as he often was, a bad habit that had gotten him into a command position.

"We drove the Galbadians out," Squall began, "and the Timber forces have done a decent job of keeping them out. There hasn't been any world of Galbadian activity in Timber."

"They were focused on other things," Zell interrupted, "like losing a war and us kicking Seifer's ass!"

"Yo," Zone threw out his hand. "Quistis told me that you punched Seifer in the face!"

All eyes were on Zell. Squall was too intrigued to even mind the interruption. "Is that true?" Zone asked.

Zell grinned. "I got 'em good."

"Omigod," Rinoa gasped. "Seriously?"

"Had a busted jaw for two weeks from what I hear," Zell said. "Quistis wouldn't stop complaining about it."

For a second, Squall grinned too. He'd socked Seifer good plenty of times before. But it felt good every time.

"Zell!" Rinoa frowned. "Use your words!"

"He was a jerk," Zone said, "I never liked him."

"Lies, sir!" Watts said. "Remember your sudden gunblade fascination?"

"I have enjoyed a variety of weaponry my entire life," Zone stated.

"You were just hanging out with him last night," Watts pointed out.

"Can we," Squall spoke up, drawing the groups attention, "can we proceed?"

"Sorry Squall," Rinoa nodded, even if he was far from upset with her.

"Zell and I will help man your borders," Squall explained, "as well as help train more troops. I can also ensure your base runs smoothly, should you choose to welcome my command."

"Base?" Rinoa blinked.

"We have barracks, sir," Watts nodded. "And an armory. There's a few training areas, but we're always low on supplies."

Zone shrugged. "Most of our supplies were raided from Galbadian trains. Our weapons shop can only keep up with so much."

"We'll have to figure it out in the budget," Rinoa assured them. "With our new system of government, or shall I say free market, we can figure out a way to come up with defense funding."

Squall hadn't the slightest clue where that money would come from, or who was expected to lead the Timber people, but he wasn't in a hurry to get too involved in Timber's political details. He knew all would be revealed in time. Rinoa talked too much for it not to happen.

"Garden drops us off tomorrow at 0600," Squall said. "Be packed and ready to go. We're not scheduled for a supply drop-off for another three weeks after that."

The group nodded in agreement, Zell looked somewhat hesitant. When Squall met his eyes, the martial artist nodded his head to the side. Squall nodded in reply.

"Alright," Zell said, stood, and punched his palm. "Let's do some liberating!" He gave them a casual salute. "Catch ya later."

He went to leave the classroom, and Squall stood as he left. He addressed the others.

"I'll leave you to it," Squall said. "I'm sure you have a lot to talk about." He gave Rinoa a longer look. "...I'll text you," he told her.

"Sure," she nodded.

Angelo was suddenly alert, wondering where the man in the black clothing was off too. She tilted her head, looked to her still seated master, and decided to stay seated herself.

In the hallway, Zell waited. Squall met him, and they walked together through the hall towards the elevator. Squall looked at the elevator controls, then looked at Zell, curious as to why he hadn't spoken yet. He seemed to be lost in thought.

Squall hit the down button, figuring the odds were better. On rare occasions like this, Squall spoke first.

"So," he said. He crossed his arms over his chest. "What's on your mind?"

Zell sighed. He didn't make eye contact, just kept his gaze on the floor. After they boarded the elevator, he finally spoke up.

"I can't, Squall," Zell said. "I can't do a year in Timber." He shook his head. "We just got back, and... It's just too much."

Zell placed his hand over his heart. "I don't want to be away from Garden for that long again."

Squall thought for a moment. "...You don't want to be away from Sora for that long," he presumed.

"She's a part of it," Zell admitted. "But... It's more than that..." He sighed again.

They left the elevator, descended the main hall stairs, and Squall followed Zell as he turned towards the dormitories.

Zell stopped in the open hall of the dormitory, and Squall stopped with him.

"You know I love Rinoa," Zell said.

"As a friend," Squall decided to add.

Zell rolled his eyes. "Duh. And... I know how much this means to her..."

Squall sighed himself.

 _You don't have to say it._

"...You think it's a futile mission."

Zell nodded in confirmation.

Squall considered all of this for a while. After a long awkward silence (at least on Zell's part; Squall seemed to be comfortable in his own world), Squall spoke.

"How much time can you spare?" he asked.

It was Zell's turn to think. "Two months," he decided. "Maybe a little less..."

Squall returned to his thoughts. He gave Zell a nod.

"Okay," he said. "Six weeks. I'll use the time to assemble a team."

Zell grinned, and grasped Squall by the shoulder. "Thanks, man. I appreciate your understanding."

Squall waved it off, and brushed away Zell's hand in the process. "It's nothing."

It was kind of something, since Squall now had to decide how he was going to carry out the mission without Zell. None of the members of his former team were able or willing to follow him again. And it was because he wasn't going to fight for a common cause, it was because he was choosing Rinoa over Garden. Without an external enemy to defend against, the group had gone their separate ways. Squall wondered how much his going to Timber had to do with that, or if it was just how life went. He decided not to be too egotistical.

Zell extended his hand, and Squall shook it. "Alright. I'll see ya later, Squall."

Squall gave him a nod, and the two parted, taking off in different directions. Squall was headed in the direction of the elevators. When he arrived, he went to press the 2nd floor option, but stopped. As natural as it was for him to go where Rinoa was, he hoped they were actually getting some work done. He decided to get some work done himself, so his new destination became the bridge.

* * *

The music was folksy, appropriate for the Winhill setting, as Laguna Loire dug into a box for a cigarette. He breathed in the scent of warm cider and baked pies, the way Winhill had always been this time of year. The Winhill people knew how to feast. Now they cooked with herbs, sauteed vegetables, and created platters with only the finest meats from the local butcher. The sun was setting over the hills, casting long black shadows over where Laguna stood. He adjusted the buds in his ears, and increased the volume of the music. The smooth strings reminded him of something Raine would have liked. The keys were sad, the bass was bluesy. Raine had always loved music, so many different types and in so many different ways that even talk of Julia Caraway's work never even seemed awkward. Of the very many differences Laguna and Raine had, a love for music was one thing they shared.

It was hard enough to avoid thinking of Raine on a regular - and now, staring at the front of the pub, her house, didn't exactly help. He saw them, sitting on the front stoop late at night, a young handsome couple, talking about their big dreams, drinking ale and smoking local Winhill herb, giddy over each other. Raine had never been a cigarette smoker, but she didn't seem to mind when Laguna did, having worked in a busy pub for most of her life. He thought of her judgmental look as now he lit the cigarette in his mouth. He took in a long hit, and exhaled slowly. That's how Raine had always been. Disagreeing with almost everything about Laguna, from his opinions to his habits, but choosing to accept and love him all the same. That's who Raine Leonhart was from the moment he met her, and it was who she was until she died as Raine Loire.

An achingly familiar pain hit his chest. He thought of how shameful it was that he had proposed marriage to her, but never made it official, and never got to spend time with her as Raine Loire.

 _I don't even know Raine Loire._

He sighed, endlessly tired of the memories, the shame, the guilt.

 _Raine... Was always Raine._

At least, that was how he wanted to remember her.

 _"Laguna,"_ he suddenly heard through the music. He blinked.

 _"Take off the headphones,"_ she told him.

 _Ellone,_ he thought, and he swore he heard her say, _duh._

Laguna removed his earbuds and glanced towards Ellone's parent's place. Which, as of twelve hours ago, had legally become Ellone's place. Laguna had a hell of a time dealing with the bank to get Ellone that crapheap, but his old bedroom was in there. Where would he sleep if the bank condemned it? Certainly not in Raine's place, where a distant cousin of hers now resided. Not in Raine's bed, their bed.

 _What happened to the bed?_ he wondered. He pictured workmen hauling it away into a dumpster. His hand went to his forehead. _You have got to cut it out with the depressing crap._

Ellone had been waiting on the front stoop of her place, watching Laguna curiously. She wondered why he hadn't looked up, approached her, what had him so distracted. Then again, Winhill was a place that Ellone knew would be... Complicated.

Laguna disposed of his smoke after only two puffs. He went to Ellone and attempted his best smile.

Ellone pitied how very transparent he was. How he got an acting role, she'd never know. _Looks,_ she shrugged. Ellone crossed her arms over her chest, and raised a brow at him.

"Caught in the past?" she asked.

"Aren't I always?" Laguna sighed.

Ellone released her hands down to her sides. She sighed along with him. "Laguna," she said, and he met her eyes.

It was rare she called him by his name, and not by uncle or some other term of endearment. It meant she had something to say. And when she said his name like that, it reminded him of how much she'd grown, how much time had passed. It reminded him of how old he'd become. He didn't fancy those feelings, either. He prepared himself for whatever the younger girl had to say.

"The best thing we can do," she began, "to honor Raine, is to rebuild this house. To check in on the pub, to tend to her grave." She took his hand in hers. "And most importantly, we have to live. We have to be comfortable, happy. That's what would make Raine happy. For us, and for Squall, to be protected, and happy." She blinked, and her face became concerned. "Don't you think so?"

Of course she was right. The tale was as old as time. Carpe Diem, live life to the fullest, etc etc. The concept was elementary to Laguna at this stage in his life.

 _Easy to understand,_ he thought, _much_ _harder to execute._

"Sure," he agreed, knowing it was always better to go along with others than to try and explain his position. He'd never been very good explaining himself anyway. He put on his familiar friendly face, and his hands went to his hips. "So," he said, "you wanna fix-up the place?"

Ellone nodded. "Come in," she waved her hand toward the door. "I'll show you."

Laguna nodded back, and followed her into the tiny house. On his way, he took a moment to observe the condition of the exterior. The grey brick had held up nicely, and the red slate roof still looked the way it did twenty years ago. The wood that decorated the front of the house in a geometric pattern could use another coat of varnish, and it would do well to power-wash the exterior, ridding the stoop and balcony of a vast amount of spiders and other critters.

He followed her through the oak door, which opened into the great room. It wasn't a room that reminded him of what a great room was, being barely over 100 square feet. But the small wooden counter contained a sink and small refrigerator box below, and the four-person dining table defined the space as a great room. Or at least, they had. That's when Laguna noticed the space was empty. He looked around, puzzled.

"You cleared everything out?" he asked.

"Yep," Ellone said. "I packed everything last time I was here, so it was easy." She pointed with her thumb. "Everything is in the shed out back for now."

"Oh," Laguna said, still taking in the space. With the lone fireplace in the corner and the furniture gone, the space seemed even smaller.

Ellone tapped her foot against the floor. "The original hardwood can stay," she said, "we'll just touch it up a bit." She walked towards the stairwell, and ran her fingers across the bullet-littered wall. "There doesn't seem to be too much structural damage," she explained. "Obviously we'll have to do something to fill in these holes. Maybe new drywall?"

"Ellone," Laguna said. He gained her attention, and she gave him a curious look. "...How come you want to fix up the place? I mean," he held up his palms. "Are you selling the place? ...Do you want to live here?"

Ellone smiled, a smile that Laguna personally disliked, because it was the smile she wore when she knew something that no one else did. She waved her hand. "Not sure yet," she said. "...But it'll have to be fixed either way, yeah?" She tilted her head.

Laguna shrugged. "Whatever."

"Come on," she said, "I'll show you what I wanna do upstairs."

Laguna wasn't sure how he felt about being in Winhill, in that house, returning to what used to be the room he shared with Ellone. He wasn't sure about repairs, Ellone's intentions, or anything else. But he followed Ellone upstairs anyway.

* * *

The train came to a painfully slow stop at the East Academy Station. Selphie was tucked to Irvine's chest, his arm around her waist. The next few minutes of silence and watching others depart the train was hard, and neither of them knew what to say.

After a while, people began to board the train. Still they sat in silence. The notice eventually came for final departure and boarding.

Irvine sighed. "Selphie," he said her name, and she began to cry.

Though she shed her quiet tears, she pushed herself away from him, and nodded. It was time.

She'd pictured a feverish last kiss from him, so it came as a surprise that he kissed her gently, and pressed his forehead to hers. With another kiss of her forehead, he let her go.

"We'll see each other again," he told her.

Selphie nodded. "Of course..."

Irvine seemed like there was something he wanted to say. In reality, there were a thousand things he could say to her. He could have told her that he was sure, above anything else, that they were meant to be together. He could promise to always try to make her happy, to see her smile, to protect her, and to give her anything he could to make her existence better. He could have said that he didn't know how he was going to live without her beside him, how he could let her go, how he could ever allow her to belong to another.

But he loved Selphie, and had to leave her to her own choices. And he had to make that easy for her. After all, he couldn't make her stay any more than he could make her love.

"Goodbye," he told her.

She thought he would embrace her one last time, or share one more kiss, but he turned, bags in tow, and climbed off the train.

Selphie had only a few moments to understand what she was feeling before she could spring into action. She grabbed her bags and jumped off the slowly moving train, having to yank her bag out of a closing door. She clumsily landed on the platform, and had to shuffle to keep herself upright. When she caught her breath and adjusted her pack, she glanced around the crowd. Irvine was tall, and there would be no mistaking his black hat.

There was also no mistaking what got Selphie off that train. What she felt, trepidation, regret, fear, yearning, longing, was love. If Irvine wanted someone, or needed someone, she wanted it to be her.

She grew frustrated as she couldn't seem to find him in the crowd. That's when she heard his voice.

"Crazy Selphie," he said, "jumping off trains."

Selphie turned, placed her hands on her hips, and frowned at him. She felt a little rejected, and was peeved. "Yeah, well," she said. "Maybe I shouldn't have!"

Irvine laughed, and pulled her close to his chest. She still wore her frown, until he began to stroke her hair.

"Selph," he said, his voice low. "...Why'd you do that?"

Selphie kept her silence.

"I'm glad," he told her, "but if you wanted this... Why didn't you tell me?"

Selphie sighed. "I don't know," she whispered. "I guess I didn't realize what I wanted until I almost lost it."

"Had to be sure about me," he said, "did you?"

She rolled her eyes.

"Selphie," he said, and the way he said her name grabbed her full attention. "Tell me."

She met his eyes, green against green, two beings that found comfort in one another in a lost universe. "I want to stay with you," she said.

"Why?"

"...I want to be with you. Because... I love you."

Irvine grinned. He planted a soft kiss on her lips, cupping her chin with his fingers. "And I you," he replied.

He stood back up, always needing to sacrifice a few inches to reach the 5'3 girl. "Come on then," he said, and extended his hand.

She took it and followed them, no idea of where they might be going.

It turned out they weren't going far. Irvine stopped at the ticket booth.

"Two to Trabia, please," he asked.

Selphie blinked as the exchange took place. "Trabia?"

Irvine nodded. "That's where you wanted to go," he held up his hands, "right?"

Selphie smiled. She nodded back. "Yeah."

"Hey," he said, and he held a finger up. "Don't smother me too much while we're there - got it?"

She rolled her eyes again, but did not contain her giggle. "I'll smother you," she said, "in your sleep."

"Separate lodging it is," he decided.

* * *

Squall was awake, despite the late hour. He was showered and in his bed hours ago. But the endless thoughts, the words, the images of his existence kept him disturbingly alert late into the night. Blood, the loud bang of the gun, the screams, he had been trained to tolerate it, but sometimes he felt himself loosen at the seams. It was close to 0300 when he heard a knock at his door. He ignored it, thinking he'd imagined it. When it interrupted his thoughts again, he sat up and turned. It wasn't entirely uncommon for him to be called upon at late hours, but he had a feeling he knew who was on the other side. At least, he hoped it was her. He put on a shirt, and went to the door.

To his relief, she stood on the other side, still in her street clothes, looking exhausted. But she smiled at him, and he smiled back at her.

"Hey," Rinoa said, "I'm sorry to wake you,"

Squall shook his head. "You didn't wake me."

He moved for her to enter the small apartment. She moved passed him, and he closed the door behind her.

"The Owls are back at the inn," she pointed with her thumb. She shook her head. "It took forever to prepare everything."

Squall nodded. Perhaps it was the late hour, perhaps his patience was wearing thin, or perhaps he felt he was getting better at saying the right thing to her. But he decided to address it.

"Rinoa," he said, "it will be a long, uphill battle... You know that, don't you..?"

Rinoa nodded, and she had a look on her face that was sadly familiar to him. She looked broken, defeated. She gripped her arm, hugging her upper body and retreating into herself.

"I know," she finally whispered. When she met his eyes again, he saw her brown eyes wet with tears. "But... We still have to try... Right?"

He gave her a weak smile, and nodded.

"Squall," she said, "please... If you want out, just say so. I wouldn't be mad. I still care about you, whether you come to Timber or not."

He sighed. He wanted to be close to her, so he went to her, and pulled her to his chest. He wrapped his arms around her and held her close. He breathed in her scent, and relaxed. He knew she wanted to, needed to be reassured by him, so he let his body speak for him until he was ready.

She clearly gave in to the embrace, and the tension fell away from her for the moment they were together. She gripped him in response, grateful for his presence, his scent, his energy, his affection.

"I'll come to Timber," he promised her.

"But," she said, "if you don't want to,"

"Rinoa," he stopped her. He parted from her for a moment to meet her eyes. "Please. I promise to be your knight, and you question me. I promise to come to Timber, and you question me. Have I ever given you a reason to think that I'm not a man of my word?"

She grinned and put a finger to her lip. "Why, no ser Leonhart, I suppose you have not."

"You question my honor," he said, his voice deep.

She giggled. "I don't, my knight." She curtsied. "I am but here thanks to your honorable deeds."

Squall rolled his eyes. In the next few moments of silence, he began to become more aware of her body pressed against his.

"I have to pack," she told him.

"Seriously?" he asked, and looked back at the clock, as if he weren't fully aware of the time.

Rinoa chuckled. "I know. I'll get coffee in the morning." She stood on her toes to kiss his cheek, allowing her lips to linger for a second.

"So," he said, "everything is... Okay?"

She nodded. "I'll be ready for tomorrow."

He nodded back at her. They shared a "goodnight," and she was gone, leaving Squall alone on the other side of the door.

It wasn't much longer before he was back in his bed, and back to his whirlwind of thoughts. Now, he thought of Rinoa. He spent the night trying to figure out how he was going to help her liberate a nation.

 _How...?_


End file.
